The Best 9 Diplomat Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Diplomat jokes. There are some diplomat vlad jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these diplomat statesman puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Diplomat Jokes and Puns

One of my favorite Reagan jokes:

A Soviet Diplomat goes to one of the farms in Russia, and approaches the farmer.

How are the carrots doing? Said the Diplomat.

Oh, the carrots are as big and orange as ever! Replies the farmer.

I see, and how are the beets?

Oh, sir, if Gorbachev saw these beets, he would cry with joy!

And what about the potatoes?

Sir, if we stacked the potatoes, they would be high enough to reach God!

The diplomat stares for a minute. But comrade, we don't believe in god.

Oh, good. Says the farmer. Because there are no potatoes.

Trump goes to Israel

and while praying at the wailing wall, suffers a massive heart attack and dies. The Israeli diplomat says they can bury him in the Holy Land for 100 bucks or embalm him and ship him back for 50k. The American diplomat opts for the 50k option. The Israeli asks why take the most expensive solution? The American responds, well another man buried here rose from the dead and we cannot take that chance.

If all diplomatic issues could be solved with a board game like monopoly, we wouldn't see the current levels violence in the world.

No, they'd be *way* higher.

If a foreign diplomat recovers from COVID-19...

Does he have diplomatic immunity?

What's the difference between a diplomat and a lady?

If a diplomat say 'yes' he means 'maybe', if he says 'maybe' he means 'no', and if he says 'no' he's no diplomat.

If a lady say 'no' she means 'maybe', if she says 'maybe' she means 'yes', and if she says 'yes' she's no lady.


A telepathic alien diplomat once said to his human colleague: "Your bodyguards loathe you secretly."

The human was alienated immensely.

Putin has issued an official statement in regard to all the Russian diplomat expulsions.

I asked my friend who is an American diplomat how life was

He said he can't complain

What do you call a shower rug that likes dubstep?

A diplomat.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the diplomat diplomacy jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working diplomat attache piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes