Dip Jokes

106 dip jokes and hilarious dip puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dip that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article explores an array of dip jokes, from the classic "hit and dip" to the more modern "crypto dip" and "buy the dip". Get a laugh out of these cleverly crafted puns about chips, French dips, cheese dips, fun dips, and even skinny dipping. Learn more about these unique, clever dip jokes and how to employ them in your conversations.

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Funniest Dip Short Jokes

Short dip jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dip humour may include short fountain jokes also.

  1. What's the difference between a restored church and a bumhole dipped in holy water? One's a rectified sanctum...
  2. Whom did the German philosopher quote when his friend dipped his hand in boiling oil? Johann Gottfried
  3. The weather suggests that turnout will be in Roy Moore's favor today. It is expected to dip into the teens.
  4. Many years ago I knew a man who's love for God was matched only by his love of dipping meat into melted cheese. That's right, he was a Christian fonduementalist.
  5. I was sending letters to a kid with cancer I told him, "the road ahead will be filled with bumps and dips, but soon, it'll straighten out." no one noticed I was talking about his heart rate monitor.
  6. An elephant and an ape go to a party together. They want to bring some snacks: crackers and dips. Which of them buys the crackers? The elephant.
    Because the ape always buys the dip.
  7. Skinny dipping involves a swimming pool. Fat dipping involves a ranch cup and chicken nuggets.
  8. Why did the tech CEO's wife leave him? She wasn't satisfied when his performance dipped by 5-30%.
  9. My long distance girlfriend wanted to see the guacamole I made So I sent her a solicited dip pic
  10. A detective walks into a party... and asks the partygoers,
    "Do you guys have any Nacho Cheese?"
    The partygoers respond,
    "No dip, Sherlock."

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Dip One Liners

Which dip one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dip? I can suggest the ones about soak and recession.

  1. Is it acceptable to dip bread into a curry? Asking for my naan.
  2. I poisoned my wifes pita dip The police charged me with hummus-cide
  3. What part of Popeye has the smoothest skin? The part he dips in olive Oyl.
  4. Hey, Roy Moore; what's the weather forecast? Tonight, we'll be dipping into the teens.
  5. what do you call 6.02 X 10^23 atoms of avocado dipping sauce? one guacamole
  6. What do you call a mummy dipped in chocolate? Pharaoh Roche
  7. I get turned on whenever I eat greek dips... ...I think I'm a hummusexual.
  8. What do you get when you dip a chicken in paint? A crosswalk.
  9. What's Avagodro's favorite type of dip? GuacaMOLE
  10. What does the Pope dip his chips in? Holy Guacamole
  11. What do robots dip in salsa? Microchips
  12. What is Avogadro's favorite dip? Guaca-mole
  13. What's Fozzie Bear's favorite chip dip? Guaca-wocka-mole
  14. What do you call a Mexican baptism? Bean dip
  15. What do you buy for a WallStreetBets party? The dip

Skinny Dip Jokes

Here is a list of funny skinny dip jokes and even better skinny dip puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If an obese person goes skinny dipping, It really isn't.
  • Finally got up enough courage to skinny dip... ...just can't attend the Baptist church any more.
  • What did the Englishman say to the Frenchman that was skinny-dipping in a river? Are you in Seine?
  • A couple decided to go skinny dipping in Paris during a cold winter night. Everyone called them in Seine.
  • I've stopped going skinny dipping since I put on a little weight Now I've started chunky dunking.
  • Why can't elephants go skinny dipping? They can't get their trunks off...
  • What did god say when Eve went skinny dipping for the first time? d**..., i will never get that scent out of my fish.
  • What did god say when Eve went skinny dipping? d**..., i'm never getting that smell out of the fish.
  • A group of men from San Francisco were skinny dipping... When a c**... floated to the surface
    "okay guys, who f**...?
  • I was walking on the beach when I stumbled on an elderly couple skinny dipping "At least they have a good s**... life" I thought to myself once the husband turned round

Chip And Dip Jokes

Here is a list of funny chip and dip jokes and even better chip and dip puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What does a blind person dip their chips in? Glaucomole
  • What was the cheese dip's reply when Chip said Salsa was his best friend? K, so?
  • Salsa dancing can be so frustrating I wish it would just stay still whilst I try to dip my chips in it!
  • Reporters Why did the reporter only dunk chips in the middle of the dip?
    He just wanted the inside scoop.
  • People keep telling to buy the dip. Now my fridge is full and need some chips.
  • Did you ever realize That we live in a world where people lick other people's buttholes, and yet some of you still complain about double dipping chips!
  • What do you call a chip dip that can't hold a conversation? Gu awk omole
  • Watson was hosting a party. Sherlock Holmes, however, was upset when there was nothing to put his tortilla chip in.
    "No dip, Sherlock."
  • My dad asks my little brother, "Hey son do you know what sea monster's favorite snack is?" "Ships and dip!"
    *dips chip in dip*
  • What do they dip their chips in in the hood? Glockamole

Cheese Dip Jokes

Here is a list of funny cheese dip jokes and even better cheese dip puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If Spanish explorers had cheese dip Do you think thy would be called the Con Quesodores?
  • I just had some cheese dip and got an upset stomach Turns out it was a bad queso gas.
  • I heard that Hillary Clinton is actually made of tofu. She's white, bland, uninspiring and not tasty unless dipped in melty cheese.
  • Why did the man carry cheese dip with him? In Queso emergency...... i should go to bed...
  • Did you hear the one about the detective that found a lost jar of cheese dip in the fridge? He cracked that cold queso...
  • What numbers are tasty when dipped in cheese? Fibonacho numbers
  • If i had two number 9s for every gender that exists I would have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45's, one with cheese, and a large soda.
  • What did the shopkeeper say to the dip sauce thief? It's nacho cheese.
  • Big Smoke walks into a bar He ordered two number nines, a number nine large, a number six with extra dip, a number seven, two number forty-fives, one with cheese, and a large beer.

French Dip Jokes

Here is a list of funny french dip jokes and even better french dip puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a wealthy, large nosed man eating a French Dip? Au jus.
  • Why does mel gibson never order a French Dip at a restaurant? Because it comes with Au Jus.
  • Why didn't h**... ever order a french dip? Because he hates au jus.
  • h**... walks into a pub And orders a French dip, when the waiter comes out to give it to him he says, Here is your French dip and Au Jus sir , h**... responds with Au Jus!?! WHERE!?!
  • What do a sneeze, a french-dip, and w**... Allen have in common? Ah Jew!

Humorous Dip Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life

What funny jokes about dip you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chip and dip jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dip pranks.

A guy was baptized and dipped in water 3 times.

After the third dip, the Priest said: "You are now baptized, you are a new creation. The old one is gone, no more drinking of alcohol for you. Your new name is Gomes."
Gomes went back home and headed straight for the fridge. He took a Kingfisher Beer, dipped it in water 3 times and said: "You are now a new creation, the old one is gone. Your new name is Green Tea!"

A Rabbi and a Priest were having a picnic

A Rabbi and a Priest were having a picnic on a really hot summer day and wanted to dip in the river to cool off. They had not thought to bring bathing suits, so decided to skinny dip instead.
The river was flowing rapidly and both clergy were washed a short distance downstream before getting out. After climbing out of the river they had just started to make a run for it to get to their clothes, when many members of their congregation came into view.
The Priest covered his privates with his hands and put on a burst of speed, but the Rabbi covered his face instead. "What are you doing?" the Priest asked. "I don't know about you," the Rabbi answered, "but my congregants recognize me by my face."

The Baptised beer

A drunkard was baptized and dipped in water 3 times.
After the third dip, the Priest said: "You are now baptized, you are a new creation. The old one is gone, no more drinking of alcohol for you. Your new name is Gomes."
Gomes went back home and headed straight for the fridge. He took a Beer bottle, dipped it in water 3 times and said: "You are now baptized, you are a new creation. The old one is gone. Your new name is Green Tea!"

A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected the wedding ring.

As the girl admired the plain platinum and diamond band, she suddenly looked concerned.
"Tell me," she asked the elderly salesman "is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?"
With a fatherly smile, the salesman said,
"One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to dip it in dishwater three times a day."

So, this dairy farmer takes his son out to learn about milking for the first time.

After he shows how to pull on the udders and fill the bucket, he says, "Now son, we have to dip your head in the milk to make it safe to drink."
The boy is confused and asks, "You've gotta dunk my whole head in the milk to be safe, Pa?"
The dairy farmer says, "No, son, no..."
"Just past your eyes."

It's a Saturday evening...

It's a Saturday evening. A man goes up to the register in a supermarket, bearing a six pack of beer, a bag of chips, some dip, a pint of ice cream, and toilet paper. The cashier says, "Single, huh?"
The man laughs and says, "Yeah, how can you tell?"
The cashier says, "Because you're ugly."

My boss at the cereal factory pulled me into his office...

I like your recipes son, but I think we should make some changes.
Ok , I said, Like What?
Well, first I'd like to dip it in sucrose. Then, I'd like to dust it with dextrose -
Stop right there , I said. No need to sugar coat it.

Why is it a bad idea to dip your shoes in l**...?

You might trip

Want to know why some people dip their Oreos in water?

Because their dad never came back with the milk

why were the Sunchips tasked with protecting the dip

Because they were known for garden salsa

What dip do ducks favour the most?


I was taking a dip in the local pool, and the lifeguard said "Hey! What have you got"?


You go your whole life making a great pumpernickel dip, and then BAM, one day you get 20 people asking for the recipe.

Nobody expects the spinach inquisition.

An old lady told me this

You know how rubber gloves are made? They hire all kinds of people; black guys, white guys,boys, girls, men, women; and have them all dip their hands in liquid hot rubber. You get all manner of gloves from this. Big ones, small ones, medical gloves, elbow length cleaning gloves. The more durable the glove, the longer they have to hold their hand in the molten rubber.
Betcha can't guess how condoms are made?

I went to the local swimming pool today...

And I asked the receptionist, "How much for 2 children?"
She replied, "$9.50."
"Awesome!" I said. "Do I get to choose or is it a lucky dip?"

What do you get if you dip your b**... in ice cream?

Brain freeze.

Why do some kids dip their Oreos in water?

Their dads never came back with the milk...

Have you heard that the weather forecast in Alabama now favors Roy Moore?

It's expected to dip into the teens

Bob and Earl are fishing on a boat.

and Bob says "Yunno, I think I'm gonna divorce the wife, she hasn't spoken to me in 2 months."
Earl spits his dip overboard and takes a long swig of his beer with a casual exhale. "You should really think it over...Women like that are hard to find."

How do you know when you have a good r**... girlfriend?

If she can give you o**... with a dip in and know which to s**... and which to spit.

What's a thoughtful person's favourite dip?


What do dj's dip their bread sticks in?


I hide all my w**... in a dip in the road...

I call it my pothole

Did you hear about the poet who liked to dip his work in moisturiser?

It was poetry in lotion

Vegan cooking instructions

How regular people read cooking instructions: dip the chicken breast in whisked egg.
How vegans read cooking instructions: dip the flayed carcass of the mother in the embryonic fluid of the child.

I swear I've had this brand of brothy sandwich dip, before!

Never mind, label says it's just Dave's Au Jus.

Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive & Dodge

The 5 D's of politics!

I swear I've had this brand of brothy sandwich dip, before....

Nope - it's just Dave's Au Jus

When I was little, my family was throwing a party

10 minutes before, we realize we forgot the chips and dip.
My dad went to go get them, said he'd be back soon.
He never got the chips, but he sure as h**... dipped!

A worldwide chickpea shortage has caused Humus makers to add more lemon to the recipe

Retailers are expecting sales to fall and are prepared for a sharp dip.

What is a ducks favourite dip for crisps?


What's the transformers favorite dip?

Opthummus Prime

jokes about dip