Dinosaur Jokes
147 dinosaur jokes and hilarious dinosaur puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about dinosaur that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Prepare yourselves for a journey to the bygone era where 'the bigger-the better' reigned supreme with our collection of Jokes About Dinosaur. These dinosaur-themed jokes are designed to deliver child-friendly humor and education, making them perfect for lightening up a school presentation, bringing laughter into a children's party, or simply serve as bedtime jokes that will have your little ones giggling under their dinosaur-themed comforters.
Whether you're a dino-novice or a paleontology-enthusiast, our curated list of dino-jokes is bound to arouse the T-Rex of laughter hiding deep within you. Let's bring these ancient giants back to life in the most fun-filled way possible - through laughter, a language as timeless as the dinosaurs themselves.
Are you looking for the perfect dinosaur-themed jokes to liven up your next birthday or Halloween party? Look no further! We've compiled a list of the funniest dinosaur jokes featuring Tyranno, Triceratops, and Lickalotapus! Whether you're looking for a kid-friendly joke or something a little more on the adult side, you'll find the perfect dinosaur joke for your party here.
Quick Jump To
- Short Dinosaur Jokes
- Dinosaur One Liners
- Dinosaur Extinction Jokes
- Dinosaur Bones Jokes
- Dinosaur Kid Jokes
- Dinosaur Birthday Jokes
- More Dinosaur Jokes
Funniest Dinosaur Short Jokes
Short dinosaur jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dinosaur humour may include short fossil jokes also.
- My 7 yr old just made this one up: What do you say when a dinosaur farts? That was a blast from the past!
- I know global warming is bad but wouldn't it be kinda funny if dinosaurs made humans go extinct?
- My 8-year-old wrote a dinosaur joke What do you get when you cross a T-Rex and a human?
A T-Rex - So I saw that the new dinosaur in Jurassic Park is a hybrid Guess that makes it Priustoric
- Took my kids to the dinosaur museum today. Spent the whole day looking up at the giant sculptures , I discovered a new species.
Myneckisaur.
This is my first dad joke post :) - "Do you think I reference dinosaurs too much when I write?" I asked. She was silent, like the p in pterodactyl, but it said everything.
- What do you call a cloud shaped like a dinosaur? A Brontocirrus.
(I'm actually a mom and just made up my first ever joke today and this was it. What have I become? 😂) - I asked my teenage son to pass me the phone book He laughed, called me a dinosaur and handed me his iPhone.
So, the spider is dead. The iPhone is broken and my son is furious. - What are two things dinosaurs can't have for dinner? Breakfast and lunch.
I'll show myself out now - Took my kids to the dinosaur museum today. Spent the whole day looking up at the giant sculptures , I discovered a new species. Myneckisaur.
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Dinosaur One Liners
Which dinosaur one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dinosaur? I can suggest the ones about t rex and reptile.
- What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth? A Flossiraptor
- Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands? Cause they're dead.
- what kind of dinosaur has the cleanest teeth? A Flossiraptor
Courtesy of my 6-year old. - Why should you never fight a dinosaur? Because you'll get jurasskicked.
- Which drug should dinosaurs never take? A steroid.
- What kind of drug should dinosaurs never take? A steroid.
- What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Doyouthinkhesaurus
- What dinosaur has the best teeth? A flossiraptor.
- New lesbian species of dinosaur discovered. Lickalottapus.
- Which dinosaur does the government of the People's Republic of China hate? Taiwanasaurus
- Who's a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer? Comet
- What do you call a black dinosaur Tyroneosaurus
- What do you get if a dinosaur kicks you in the backside? Megasoreass
- What do you call a gay Dinosaur? Dead.
- What do you call a dinosaur with clean teeth? A Flossaraptor
Dinosaur Extinction Jokes
Here is a list of funny dinosaur extinction jokes and even better dinosaur extinction puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do gingers and extinct dinosaurs have in common? Not enough.
- Yo momma so fat... The dinosaurs went extinct when she forgot her parachute.
- Why can't you hear pterodactyls go to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs went extinct 65 million years ago.
- Dinosaur Fact Towards the end of the Jurassic period, the Thesaurus was the first Dinosaur to become extinct, obsolete, belated, vanished and wiped out.
- What was the last dinosaur to become extinct? The Toys R Us
- What was the last thing the dinosaurs said before going extinct?
- How did cavemen survive the extinction of the dinosaurs? Temporal distancing
- Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because of ereptile dysfunction.
- Why cant you hear a dinosaur pee? Because theyre extinct.
- What do you call the strongest dinosaur whoever lived? Extinct.
Dinosaur Bones Jokes
Here is a list of funny dinosaur bones jokes and even better dinosaur bones puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- "There are dinosaur bones buried out back!", I told my kids. It's not my fault we couldn't afford a proper burial for their grandmother.
- What if dinosaur bones were only found on Earth... Because aliens used this planet as a pet cemetery?
- Just came home from my first paleontology party where we spent the night searching for the lower leg bone of a new dinosaur. It was quite the shin dig.
- Q : Why do museums have old dinosaur bones ?
A : Because they can't afford new ones - What do you call a dog who digs up dinosaur bones? A Barkaeologist.
- Q: Why do museums have old dinosaur bones?
A: Because they cant afford new ones. - What kind of bone do you find in a dinosaur steak? A T-Bone!!!!
- What do a creationist and a dude with a dinosaur bone f**... have in common? They both get a hard on when they find a gap in the fossil record.
Dinosaur Kid Jokes
Here is a list of funny dinosaur kid jokes and even better dinosaur kid puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a blind dinosaur? Doyouthinkhesaurus
(Full Disclosure: I'm showing Jurassic Park to my kids for the first time) - What do you call a dinosaur with tears? A Whineosaur..
(by the only one of my kids that loves awful dad jokes) - I used to be interested in dinosaurs as a kid, but I'm more into birds now. I guess you could say my interests have really evolved.
- Joke from a 5 year old kid: how come dinosaurs don't talk?
me: ...why?
kid: because they are all dead.
source: stolen from Brian Reagan's standup. - What do you call a sick dinosaur? A Throatisorus.
Courtesy of my little daughter.. just kidding I made it up myself. - What do you get when you cross a dinosaur and an awkward white kid? A Michaelceratops
- I saw a kid pretending to be a dinosaur by himself today... He looks lonely so I decided to go and join him. After a while, his mother came by and told me off.
Turns out he had Cerebral palsy. - Kid: Mom! look at my drawing Mom: Wow! what a great dinosaur you draw!
Kid: Mom don't be ridiculous! that's you! - A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over."
Those children were the dinosaurs.
Dinosaur Birthday Jokes
Here is a list of funny dinosaur birthday jokes and even better dinosaur birthday puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My parents said I can get a dinosaur for my birthday!! Update: They gave me a parrot..
Cheerful Dinosaur Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about dinosaur you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tyrannosaurus rex jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dinosaur pranks.
65,000,011 years ago
Some tourists in the Museum of Natural History are marveling at some dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?"
The guard replies, "They are 65,000,011 years old."
"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?"
The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were sixty five million years old when I started working here, and that was eleven years ago."
A couple is taking a tour through the Natural History Museum. They ask the tour guide: "How old is this dinosaur skeleton?"
He replies: "It is sixty five million and fourteen years and three months old."
"Wow! It's amazing that you can tell this precise. How do you do that? Is it with carbon dating?"
"I don't know" says the guide. "But when I first came here they told me it was sixty five million years old. And I started here fourteen years and three months ago."
Three dinosaurs are running across the desert when they stumble across a magic lamp.
They rub it, and a genie appears.
"I have three wishes, so I'll give one to each of you," the genie announces.
The first dinosaur thinks hard.
"Alright," he says, "I'll have a big, juicy, piece of meat."
Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he'd ever seen appears in front of him.
Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur thinks even harder.
"I know! I'll have a shower of meat!"
Immediately, huge pieces of meat rain down around him.
The third dinosaur, certainly not to be outdone, thinks harder than the previous dinosaurs.
"I've got it!" he cries, "I want a MEATIER shower!"
Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones.
One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?"
The guard replies, "They are 3 million, four years, and six months old."
"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?"
The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago."
While admiring some dinosaur bones in the Museum of Natural History, a tourist asks the guard, "How old are they?"
The guard replies, "They are 73 million, four years, and six months old."
"That's a rather exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?"
"Well," answers the guard, "The dinosaur bones were seventy three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago."
3 dinosaurs walk up to a shiny lamp
One of them rubs it, and a mystical blue genie flies out of it!
"Hello! I am genie! Since there are 3 of you, you each get 1 wish!
"I wish for a large piece of meat!" The first dinosaur said.
And so a large slab of meat materialized before his eyes and plopped down in front of him!
"I wish for a meat shower!" The second dinosaur said.
And so the genie made all different sorts of meats from different animals rain from a small cloud above the dinosaur's head.
Not wanting to be outdone by his friends the third dinosaur quickly tries to think of something better.
"I wish for a meatier shower!"
A man walks into a museum
He sees a dinosaur skeleton and asks the tour guide How old is that skeleton?
The tour guide says 65 million and 3 years, 5 months and 12 days.
Wow says the man, How do you get such a specific measurement?
The tour guide replies Well it was 65 million years old when I started working here. I've been here for 3 years, 5 months and 12 days.
A dinosaur, a spider, and a cowboy walk into a bar
All three sit at the bar and begin drinking heavily, clearly distressed. The bartender asks them what their troubles are.
The Cowboy takes a shot, then says "my horse got loose, ran into traffic, and got hit by a semi truck carrying gasoline. Cause a whole big e**... and blew my poor horse to bits." The spider nods sympathetically. "I just lost my husband in that same fire. The driver found him, freaked out, and crashed trying to squash my dear hubby."
The bartender is in shock, but finally asks the dinosaur his story.
The dinosaur sniffed, took a sip from his straw, and said "My whole family was on that truck"
Pixar movies over the years
What if toys had feelings?
What if bugs had feelings?
What if monsters had feelings?
What if fish had feelings?
What if superheroes had feelings?
What if cars had feelings?
What if rats had feelings?
What if robots hadd feelings?
What if boy scouts had feelings?
What if gingers had feelings?
What if feelings had feelings?
What if dinosaurs had feelings?
What if Mexicans had feelings?
The dinosaur at the museum
A guy is visiting a museum and he sees a dinosaur's skeleton.
Curious about it, he asks the guard next to it:
- Excuse me, sir. How old is this dinosaur?
- It is 65 million years, 4 months and 13 days old.
Amazed by his answer, he says:
- Wow!, How can you be so precise about it?
- Well, when I first started working here, they told me it was 65 million years old... and that was 4 months and 13 days ago.
What's another word for dinosaur?
thesaurus
If you watch godzilla backwards
it's about a dinosaur that passionately pieces a city back together before moonwalking into the sea.
I was carbon-dating a dinosaur the other day, trying to figure out what era it was from
Upon closer inspection, I realised that it didn't have the 3 anuses I was expecting, so I ruled out the Triassic period
What do you call a Dinosaur that wakes up early in the morning.
An AssCrackaDon.
Can a c**... dinosaur joke get a laugh?
You bet Jurassican.
What do you call a vegan dinosaur?
Falafel Raptor
What do you call a blind dinosaur?
Doyouthinkhesaurus.
Paleontologists are having a party to celebrate unearthing the largest ever dinosaur Tibia.
It's going to be quite the shindig.
Which dinosaur named all the others?
The Thesaurus
What dinosaur can't you hear go to the bathroom?
All of them, they're all dead.
An archeologist walks into a bar
An archeologist walks into a bar, orders a beer and gives a heavy sigh. "What's wrong?" the bartender asks. "I thought I discovered a fully intact dinosaur skeleton at my dig yesterday," the archeologist laments. "Sadly, upon further excavation today it turns out that it was just a fossil arm."
The "Age" of Dinosaurs
A woman takes her children to a museum of natural history. As they gaze with wonder at a skeleton of *Tyrannosaurus rex*, she asks a museum guide, a bright-eyed young fellow, "can you tell me how old it is?"
The museum guide responds, "well, ma'am, that particular skeleton is 65 million and 2 years, 4 months, and 25 days old."
"Amazing!" the mother replies. "How can you know that so well?"
"Well," replied the museum guide eagerly, "when I started working here, I asked a scientist working on it the same question. He told me it was 65 million years old. And that was 2 years, 4 months, and 25 days ago."
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A Lickalotopuss.
What do you call a dinosaur that only eats the most delicious food?
A connoisaur
The asteroid event that ended dinosaurs
was technically the highest ratio of killing birds to one stone
TIL there was a dinosaur that had three butts.
It was from the Triassic period.
What do you call a dinosaur that can play the accordion? A music-osaurus.
My 4 year old daughter told me the joke today. Knock knock, who's there? Dinosaurp, Dinosaurp who?
Haha you said dinosaur p**....
What do you call a blind dinosaur?
Do-you-think-he-saurus
LPT: Do not pick a fight with a dinosaur.
You'll get jurasskicked.
How scared was the dinosaur?
Petrified.
Meteor Meatier joke
God: Hey Angel, did you give the dinosaurs more muscle like I asked? I asked you to make them meatier.
Angel: Make them… a meteor.
What do you call it when a Dinosaur can't perform in bed?
A reptile dysfunction.
Thank high me for that one.
Me: "How is it we assume that dinosaurs just roared... They could have talked like us, right?"
Interviewer: "I meant questions about the job..."
What do you call a dinosaur that knows a lot of words?
- A Thesaurus.
What do you call an ugly dinosaur?
An eyesaur
What do you call a group of anxious dinosaurs?
Nervous Rex
What is a dentist's favorite dinosaur?
A Flossiraptor!
I'll just show myself out...
What do you call a thinking dinosaur?
A philosoraptor
Two dinosaurs standing on a cliff
As they're looking out to sea an ark floats past. One dinosaur turns to the other one and says,
'Oh, was that today?'
What happens when you let dinosaurs drive?
You get tyrannosaurus wrecks.
Why should you never fight a dinosaur?
You'll get Jurasskicked
What do you call a British dinosaur?
A tea rex.
My son's joke, thought it was worth posting here
If Eminem was a dinosaur, what would be be?
A velocirapper
On Halloween don't wear a dinosaur costume in bad neighborhoods.
You'll get Jurasskicked.
How did the bodybuilding dinosaur die?
Asteroid overdose!
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(a steroid overdose)
Why were the dinosaurs so big?
Because Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures
What do you call a dinosaur that takes excellent care of its teeth?
A Flossiraptor
Was offered a bowl of dinosaurs to eat from my toddler.
"No thanks! I'm allergic to dinosaurs, they make me break out in Dino sores"
Audible groan and required "I hate you" from their babysitter.
Why do dinosaurs make bad pets?
Because they're all dead.
Roommates Sarah and Beth invite Mary over for drinks
Roommates Sarah and Beth invite their friend Mary over for drinks. They are drinking wine and having a great time, when Mary spills her drink on her shirt. Mary asks Beth if she could borrow one of her tops. Beth laughs and says you'd never fit in one of my shirts, you're the size of a dinosaur!Try Sarah's tops.
Last week paleontologists found the largest dinosaur tibia ever uncovered.
They had a big party to celebrate. I heard it was quite the shin dig.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilised dinosaur f**....
They said it's a blast from the past.
