The Best 82 Dinosaurs Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dinosaurs jokes. There are some dinosaurs meteorite jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dinosaurs kids dinosaur puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Dinosaurs Jokes and Puns

You think dinosaurs are scary?

Imagine dragons!

I know global warming is bad

but wouldn't it be kinda funny if dinosaurs made humans go extinct?

How do dinosaurs smell?

Ex-stinky

Dinosaurs joke, How do dinosaurs smell?

The "Age" of Dinosaurs

A woman takes her children to a museum of natural history. As they gaze with wonder at a skeleton of *Tyrannosaurus rex*, she asks a museum guide, a bright-eyed young fellow, "can you tell me how old it is?"

The museum guide responds, "well, ma'am, that particular skeleton is 65 million and 2 years, 4 months, and 25 days old."

"Amazing!" the mother replies. "How can you know that so well?"

"Well," replied the museum guide eagerly, "when I started working here, I asked a scientist working on it the same question. He told me it was 65 million years old. And that was 2 years, 4 months, and 25 days ago."

You all like dinosaurs...right?

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?

***A thesaurus***


As told by Brian Regan's offspring.

Child- "Why don't dinosaurs talk?"

Brian- "I don't know, buddy. Why don't dinosaurs talk?"

Child- "Because they're all dead."

Why did god kill all the herbivore dinosaurs?

He liked his salads a little meteor.

Dinosaurs joke, Why did god kill all the herbivore dinosaurs?

My favorite dinosaur

My favorite dinosaur is the Clitorous, its is the smallest of the dinosaurs, it is also hard to find because it likes to hide in the bushes

Credit goes to comedian Etta May.

Joke from a 5 year old

kid: how come dinosaurs don't talk?

me: ...why?

kid: because they are all dead.

source: stolen from Brian Reagan's standup.

What is the difference between dragons and dinosaurs?

Dinosaurs aren't old enough to smoke. Told to me by my niece at christmas.

Why can't the T-rex do any push ups?

Small arms? No it's because dinosaurs are extinct you dumbass.

You can explore dinosaurs tyrannosaur reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dinosaurs rex dad jokes. There are also dinosaurs puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What are two things dinosaurs can't have for dinner?

Breakfast and lunch.

I'll show myself out now

What do you call someone who crashes flying dinosaurs into buildings?

A pterrorist

Which star do the dinosaurs like best?

The one that keeps getting bigger

Which Christian denomination knows the most about dinosaurs?

Episcopaleontologists

why cant you hear a pterodactyl go pee?

Dinosaurs are extinct

Dinosaurs joke, why cant you hear a pterodactyl go pee?

Me: "How is it we assume that dinosaurs just roared... They could have talked like us, right?"

Interviewer: "I meant questions about the job..."

What type of dinosaurs roamed the Mediterranean before the asteroid hit?

Falafel Raptors.

(sorry)

Why were the dinosaurs so big?

Because Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures


Why can't you hear pterodactyls go to the bathroom?

Because dinosaurs went extinct 65 million years ago.

Why the Dinosaurs Died

It has been shown that the moon is moving away from us at a tiny (but measurable) distance each year. Therefore, if you do the maths, you will find that eighty-five million years ago it would've killed many, if not all the dinosaurs, by orbiting at an elevation of approximately thirty-five feet.

What disease do elderly dinosaurs get?

Jurassic Parkinsons

I like my women like I like my oatmeal

Done in three minutes and covered in facts about dinosaurs.

Where do dinosaurs shop for toys?

Toysaurus

Last time i had sex was just like the time a meteor wiped out the dinosaurs...

it happened so long ago ive forgotten the details.

Why don't dinosaurs drive?

Because the Tyrannosaurus wrecks

from my 9yo son: "You know why I think dinosaurs were good at math?"

"They could probably crunch numbers really well".

What did Noah say after he let the dinosaurs in?

Welcome to Jurassic Ark

How do you clean a planet of dinosaurs?

Give it a meteor shower.

What do you call a lady doctor for dinosaurs?

A dynocologist.

What do dinosaurs use to pay their bills?

Tyrannosaurus Checks

"Do you think I reference dinosaurs too much when I write?" I asked.

She was silent, like the p in pterodactyl, but it said everything.

Referencing Dinosaurs

I asked her if my referencing of dinosaurs in every sentence was ruining our relationship.
She was silent, like the p in pterodactyl, but her silence said everything.

Why can't dinosaurs clap?

Because they died.

How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus-Chex

Yo momma so fat...

The dinosaurs went extinct when she forgot her parachute.

Which Reindeer do dinosaurs hate most?

Comet.

The dinosaurs never went extinct...

Today they're just called flat earthers.

Pixar movies over the years

What if toys had feelings?

What if bugs had feelings?

What if monsters had feelings?

What if fish had feelings?

What if superheroes had feelings?

What if cars had feelings?

What if rats had feelings?

What if robots hadd feelings?

What if boy scouts had feelings?

What if gingers had feelings?

What if feelings had feelings?

What if dinosaurs had feelings?

What if Mexicans had feelings?

What do gingers and extinct dinosaurs have in common?

Not enough.

Why did the Earth smell so bad after the meteor hit it?

Because afterwards the dinosaurs were all egg stink.

Two dinosaurs standing on a cliff

As they're looking out to sea an ark floats past. One dinosaur turns to the other one and says,

'Oh, was that today?'

Aliens and Humans

"Alien: why should I not blow up this planet?

Human: we are an advanced species

A: how do you travel?

H: we light old dinosaurs on fire"

Where do baby dinosaurs come from?

Tyrannosaurus Sex

TIL that dinosaurs used hot springs to take baths

But as time advanced they moved onto meteor showers.

I used to be interested in dinosaurs as a kid, but I'm more into birds now.

I guess you could say my interests have really evolved.

(From my 3-year-old son) Why can't dinosaurs talk?

Because they're dead.

Yo Momma is So Fat and Old

The last time she went skydiving the dinosaurs went extinct.

Why do dinosaurs need deodorant?

Because they're ex stincked.

Courteousy my five year old nephew, be nice.

Why don't dinosaurs clap?

Because they're all dead

Why can't dinosaurs clap?

Cause they're dead.

3 dinosaurs walk up to a shiny lamp

One of them rubs it, and a mystical blue genie flies out of it!

"Hello! I am genie! Since there are 3 of you, you each get 1 wish!

"I wish for a large piece of meat!" The first dinosaur said.

And so a large slab of meat materialized before his eyes and plopped down in front of him!

"I wish for a meat shower!" The second dinosaur said.

And so the genie made all different sorts of meats from different animals rain from a small cloud above the dinosaur's head.

Not wanting to be outdone by his friends the third dinosaur quickly tries to think of something better.

"I wish for a meatier shower!"

Why can't dinosaurs say the alphabet?

Because they are dead.

What do you call it when two dinosaurs run into each other?

A Jurassic jam.

How did the cavemen survive the asteroid that killed all the dinosaurs?

Social distancing, they stayed 56 million years apart.

Do you know how long dinosaurs lived?

The same as the short ones

What was the last thing the dinosaurs said before going extinct?

Meteor Meatier joke

God: Hey Angel, did you give the dinosaurs more muscle like I asked? I asked you to make them meatier.

Angel: Make them… a meteor.

How did dinosaurs decorate their bedroom?

With rep-tiles!

Why did the dinosaurs die out.

They got ereptile dysfunction.

Where did dinosaurs get their presents!

Toysaurus

What's the main cause of Climate Change?

Somebody lit the dinosaurs on fire.

Three dinosaurs are running across the desert when they stumble across a magic lamp.

They rub it, and a genie appears.

"I have three wishes, so I'll give one to each of you," the genie announces.

The first dinosaur thinks hard.

"Alright," he says, "I'll have a big, juicy, piece of meat."

Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he'd ever seen appears in front of him.

Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur thinks even harder.

"I know! I'll have a shower of meat!"

Immediately, huge pieces of meat rain down around him.

The third dinosaur, certainly not to be outdone, thinks harder than the previous dinosaurs.

"I've got it!" he cries, "I want a MEATIER shower!"

What is a dinosaurs least favorite Reindeer?

Comet.

Dinosaurs really got wiped out by a rock

Shoulda picked paper

What do toddlers and paleontologists have in common ?

They both want to know your top 5 favorite dinosaurs

A joke from my 5 year old: "Know what really killed the dinosaurs? TNT!"

"That's why it's called Dino-mite!!"

Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands?

Cause they're dead.

Why do dinosaurs make bad pets?

Because they're all dead.

I've heard a theory that the dinosaurs died out because their eggs became rotten.

It was a mass egg-stink-tion!

What do you call it when all the dinosaurs go to heaven?

Velocirapture

Which drug should dinosaurs never take?

A steroid.

An asteroid killed all the dinosaurs

You could also say it killed many birds with one stone.

Did you see the movie about the dinosaurs that couldn't find the herbs?

It was the land before thyme.

Why did the dinosaurs become extinct?

Because of ereptile dysfunction.

I asked my Wife if she was annoyed because I keep talking about Dinosaurs.

But she remained silent, like the 'P' in Pterodactyl.

I always know

when they use fake dinosaurs in movies

What do you call a group of anxious dinosaurs?

Nervous Rex

Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands?

Because they're dead.


Source: my 10yr old

Was offered a bowl of dinosaurs to eat from my toddler.

"No thanks! I'm allergic to dinosaurs, they make me break out in Dino sores"

Audible groan and required "I hate you" from their babysitter.

So in the end all the dinosaurs were wiped out by a single asteroid.

Silly them for all standing in the same place.

How do dinosaurs get in shape?

T-rexercise

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dinosaurs extinct jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dinosaurs comet piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes