The Best 80 Dinosaur Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dinosaur jokes. There are some dinosaur paleontologists jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dinosaur kids dinosaur puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Dinosaur Jokes and Puns

What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth?

A Flossiraptor

65,000,011 years ago

Some tourists in the Museum of Natural History are marveling at some dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?"

The guard replies, "They are 65,000,011 years old."

"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?"

The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were sixty five million years old when I started working here, and that was eleven years ago."

What do you call a constipated dinosaur?

A tyranno-sore-ass.

Dinosaur joke, What do you call a constipated dinosaur?

What do you call a gay Dinosaur?


New lesbian species of dinosaur discovered.


You all like dinosaurs...right?

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?

***A thesaurus***

Why did the paleontologist measure the height of a dinosaur using a T-Rex's foot?

Jurassic times call for Jurassic

Dinosaur joke, Why did the paleontologist measure the height of a dinosaur using a T-Rex's foot?

What do you call a British dinosaur?

A tea rex.

The dinosaur at the museum

A guy is visiting a museum and he sees a dinosaur's skeleton.

Curious about it, he asks the guard next to it:

- Excuse me, sir. How old is this dinosaur?

- It is 65 million years, 4 months and 13 days old.

Amazed by his answer, he says:

- Wow!, How can you be so precise about it?

- Well, when I first started working here, they told me it was 65 million years old... and that was 4 months and 13 days ago.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

A Lickalotopuss.

Which dinosaur named all the others?

The Thesaurus

You can explore dinosaur lickalotapus reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dinosaur megasoreass dad jokes. There are also dinosaur puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

TIL there was a dinosaur that had three butts.

It was from the Triassic period.

What do you call an ugly dinosaur?

An eyesaur

Going to a restaurant alone makes me feel like a dinosaur in Jurassic Park

Everyone is just there to watch me eat.

What's another word for dinosaur?


What do you call a dinosaur that only eats the most delicious food?

A connoisaur

Dinosaur joke, What do you call a dinosaur that only eats the most delicious food?

So I saw that the new dinosaur in Jurassic Park is a hybrid

Guess that makes it Priustoric

What is a dentist's favorite dinosaur?

A Flossiraptor!

I'll just show myself out...

What do you call it when a Dinosaur can't perform in bed?

A reptile dysfunction.

Thank high me for that one.

How would a dinosaur find its mate today ?

with carbon dating

What do you call a blind dinosaur?


Why were the dinosaurs so big?

Because Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures

What do you call a drunk dinosaur?

A Staggersaurus.

What do you call an exploding dinosaur?


They just discovered a lesbian dinosaur and are calling it...


What would you call it when a dinosaur gets into a car crash?

Tyrannosaurus Wrecks

What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?


What do you call a black dinosaur


A dinosaur goes to a supermarket

A dinosaur goes to the supermarket to do some grocery shopping. He gets to the register and the worker scans all his items. When all the scanning is done, and the dinosaur has to pay, the worker asks:

'So how are you paying today?'

The dinosaur replies:

'With tyrannosaurus checks.'

What do you call a blind dinosaur?


What dinosaur has the best teeth?

A flossiraptor.

Why don't dinosaurs drive?

Because the Tyrannosaurus wrecks

How scared was the dinosaur?


What do dinosaurs use to pay their bills?

Tyrannosaurus Checks

If you watch Godzilla backwards

it's about a dinosaur that passionately pieces a city back together before moonwalking into the sea.

What does a dinosaur say when he hurts himself?

Dino sore.

Please forgive me for the dad joke.

What do you call a dinosaur with clean teeth?

A Flossaraptor

What was the last dinosaur to become extinct?

The Toys R Us

Two dinosaurs standing on a cliff

As they're looking out to sea an ark floats past. One dinosaur turns to the other one and says,

'Oh, was that today?'

Why should you never fight a dinosaur?

Because you'll get jurasskicked.

Why do dinosaurs need deodorant?

Because they're ex stincked.

Courteousy my five year old nephew, be nice.

"There are dinosaur bones buried out back!", I told my kids.

It's not my fault we couldn't afford a proper burial for their grandmother.

Took my kids to the dinosaur museum today.

Spent the whole day looking up at the giant sculptures , I discovered a new species.


This is my first dad joke post :)

Can a crappy dinosaur joke get a laugh?

You bet Jurassican.

Why can't dinosaurs clap?

Cause they're dead.

3 dinosaurs walk up to a shiny lamp

One of them rubs it, and a mystical blue genie flies out of it!

"Hello! I am genie! Since there are 3 of you, you each get 1 wish!

"I wish for a large piece of meat!" The first dinosaur said.

And so a large slab of meat materialized before his eyes and plopped down in front of him!

"I wish for a meat shower!" The second dinosaur said.

And so the genie made all different sorts of meats from different animals rain from a small cloud above the dinosaur's head.

Not wanting to be outdone by his friends the third dinosaur quickly tries to think of something better.

"I wish for a meatier shower!"

A dinosaur, a spider, and a cowboy walk into a bar

All three sit at the bar and begin drinking heavily, clearly distressed. The bartender asks them what their troubles are.
The Cowboy takes a shot, then says "my horse got loose, ran into traffic, and got hit by a semi truck carrying gasoline. Cause a whole big explosion and blew my poor horse to bits." The spider nods sympathetically. "I just lost my husband in that same fire. The driver found him, freaked out, and crashed trying to squash my dear hubby."
The bartender is in shock, but finally asks the dinosaur his story.
The dinosaur sniffed, took a sip from his straw, and said "My whole family was on that truck"

What do you call a blind dinosaur?


(Full Disclosure: I'm showing Jurassic Park to my kids for the first time)

What do you call a kinky dinosaur?

A Doyouhaveasoreass

Why should you never fight a dinosaur?

You'll get Jurasskicked

My 4 year old daughter told me the joke today. Knock knock, who's there? Dinosaurp, Dinosaurp who?

Haha you said dinosaur poo.

What dinosaur can't you hear go to the bathroom?

All of them, they're all dead.

How did the bodybuilding dinosaur die?

Asteroid overdose!
(a steroid overdose)

Three dinosaurs are running across the desert when they stumble across a magic lamp.

They rub it, and a genie appears.

"I have three wishes, so I'll give one to each of you," the genie announces.

The first dinosaur thinks hard.

"Alright," he says, "I'll have a big, juicy, piece of meat."

Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he'd ever seen appears in front of him.

Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur thinks even harder.

"I know! I'll have a shower of meat!"

Immediately, huge pieces of meat rain down around him.

The third dinosaur, certainly not to be outdone, thinks harder than the previous dinosaurs.

"I've got it!" he cries, "I want a MEATIER shower!"

On Halloween don't wear a dinosaur costume in bad neighborhoods.

You'll get Jurasskicked.

My 7 yr old just made this one up: What do you say when a dinosaur farts?

That was a blast from the past!

What do you call a Dinosaur that wakes up early in the morning.

An AssCrackaDon.

Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands?

Cause they're dead.

I was carbon-dating a dinosaur the other day, trying to figure out what era it was from

Upon closer inspection, I realised that it didn't have the 3 anuses I was expecting, so I ruled out the Triassic period

Why do dinosaurs make bad pets?

Because they're all dead.

Which dinosaur does the government of the People's Republic of China hate?


Paleontologists are having a party to celebrate unearthing the largest ever dinosaur Tibia.

It's going to be quite the shindig.

My friends think that your name represents what you should do in life. Dina worked to find a dinosaur fossil, and Jack became a lumberjack,

We don't talk about Cliff.

Took my kids to the dinosaur museum today. Spent the whole day looking up at the giant sculptures , I discovered a new species.


What do you get if a dinosaur kicks you in the backside?


How do you cook a dinosaur?

Medium rawr

A couple is taking a tour through the Natural History Museum. They ask the tour guide: "How old is this dinosaur skeleton?"

He replies: "It is sixty five million and fourteen years and three months old."

"Wow! It's amazing that you can tell this precise. How do you do that? Is it with carbon dating?"

"I don't know" says the guide. "But when I first came here they told me it was sixty five million years old. And I started here fourteen years and three months ago."

LPT: Do not pick a fight with a dinosaur.

You'll get jurasskicked.

What do you call a thinking dinosaur?

A philosoraptor

Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands?

Because they're dead.

Source: my 10yr old

What do you call a cloud shaped like a dinosaur?

A Brontocirrus.

(I'm actually a mom and just made up my first ever joke today and this was it. What have I become? πŸ˜‚)

What do you call a dinosaur with tears?

A Whineosaur..

(by the only one of my kids that loves awful dad jokes)

What do you call a dinosaur that writes romance novels?

A BrontΓ«-saurus.

What do you call a dinosaur who's lost his girlfriend

A tyrannosaurus-ex

My son's joke, thought it was worth posting here

If Eminem was a dinosaur, what would be be?

A velocirapper

Why did the dinosaur newspaper shutdown?

Their ratings were killed by social meteor

What do you call an Egyptian dinosaur?

A Pharaohdactyl

What kind of dinosaur writes romance novels?

A Bronte-saurus

How do dinosaurs get in shape?


Last week paleontologists found the largest dinosaur tibia ever uncovered.

They had a big party to celebrate. I heard it was quite the shin dig.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dinosaur superbad jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dinosaur fossil piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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