The Best 81 Dino Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dino jokes. There are some dino luca jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dino superbad puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Dino Jokes and Puns

You think dinosaurs are scary?

Imagine dragons!

What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth?

A Flossiraptor

How do dinosaurs smell?

Ex-stinky

How does a dinosaur come out of a pool?

Wet.

Why do dinosaurs use Christian dating sites?

Because they can lie about their age!


You all like dinosaurs...right?

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?

***A thesaurus***

What did the psychic velociraptor say to his friend?

"Dino what you're thinking."

Dino joke, What did the psychic velociraptor say to his friend?

The dinosaur at the museum

A guy is visiting a museum and he sees a dinosaur's skeleton.

Curious about it, he asks the guard next to it:

- Excuse me, sir. How old is this dinosaur?

- It is 65 million years, 4 months and 13 days old.

Amazed by his answer, he says:

- Wow!, How can you be so precise about it?

- Well, when I first started working here, they told me it was 65 million years old... and that was 4 months and 13 days ago.

Why couldn't the dinosaur cross the road?

There were no roads!

Which dinosaur named all the others?

The Thesaurus

Which dinosaur walks with a limp?

a Myfeetasaur

You can explore dino stegosaurus reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dino dinosnore dad jokes. There are also dino puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A crocodile wouldn't blow up his house, but a Dino might

So I saw that the new dinosaur in Jurassic Park is a hybrid

Guess that makes it Priustoric

How would a dinosaur find its mate today ?

with carbon dating

*dinosaur at zoo roars at me*

"ROAR"

whoa wat kimd of dinosaur is this

"GROWL"

hmm

"SHOUT"

hmmm

"YELL"

hmmmmm

"HOLLER"

oh its a thesaurus"

Why were the dinosaurs so big?

Because Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures

Dino joke, Why were the dinosaurs so big?

Why the Dinosaurs Died

It has been shown that the moon is moving away from us at a tiny (but measurable) distance each year. Therefore, if you do the maths, you will find that eighty-five million years ago it would've killed many, if not all the dinosaurs, by orbiting at an elevation of approximately thirty-five feet.

I need another name for a dinosaur.

I should consult the Thesaurus.

What dino was known for having distinguished tastes?

A Connosaur


Where do dinosaurs shop for toys?

Toysaurus

A dinosaur goes to a supermarket

A dinosaur goes to the supermarket to do some grocery shopping. He gets to the register and the worker scans all his items. When all the scanning is done, and the dinosaur has to pay, the worker asks:

'So how are you paying today?'

The dinosaur replies:

'With tyrannosaurus checks.'

Dino Joke

You guys hear about the Gay dinosaur that was discovered recently? Theyre Calling it a Tyrann-o-sore-ass.

Its very similar to it's cousin the T-Rex, only it likes more than one kind of meat

How do you ask a dinosaur if he wants a warm beverage?

Tea, Rex?

What dinosaur has the best teeth?

A flossiraptor.

Why don't dinosaurs drive?

Because the Tyrannosaurus wrecks

What if dinosaur bones were only found on Earth...

Because aliens used this planet as a pet cemetery?

Dino joke, What if dinosaur bones were only found on Earth...

Why did the dinosaur miss work?

He was Jurassick.

Who would blow up jurassic park?

The dino might.

Who would blow up Jurassic Park? Really?

A dino might.

What do dinosaurs use to pay their bills?

Tyrannosaurus Checks

What did the dinosaur say to the meteor?

Com-et me bro

How does a dinosaur get out of a swimming pool?

Wet.

What do you get when a dinosaur scores a touchdown?

A dino-score.

What does a dinosaur say when he hurts himself?

Dino sore.

Please forgive me for the dad joke.

Why can't dinosaurs clap?

Because they died.

How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus-Chex

Which dinosaur has the largest vocabulary?

Thesaurus

Why didn't the dinosaur want to start another relationship?

He always Rex it

The dinosaurs never went extinct...

Today they're just called flat earthers.

" Why did the dinosaur say hello to the Giraffe?

Because he wanted to become friends with him"

(my 4 y/o nieces joke just now)

What was the last dinosaur to become extinct?

The Toys R Us

Two dinosaurs standing on a cliff

As they're looking out to sea an ark floats past. One dinosaur turns to the other one and says,

'Oh, was that today?'

What dinosaur is known by many names

A Thesaurus

Dinosaur

Dinosaur : I ran into a girl at a vegan restaurant.

But i never met herbivore.

Why do dinosaurs need deodorant?

Because they're ex stincked.

Courteousy my five year old nephew, be nice.

"There are dinosaur bones buried out back!", I told my kids.

It's not my fault we couldn't afford a proper burial for their grandmother.

Why don't dinosaurs clap?

Because they're all dead

Why can't dinosaurs clap?

Cause they're dead.

Which dinosaur is the strongest in the UK?

Tea- rex

3 dinosaurs walk up to a shiny lamp

One of them rubs it, and a mystical blue genie flies out of it!

"Hello! I am genie! Since there are 3 of you, you each get 1 wish!

"I wish for a large piece of meat!" The first dinosaur said.

And so a large slab of meat materialized before his eyes and plopped down in front of him!

"I wish for a meat shower!" The second dinosaur said.

And so the genie made all different sorts of meats from different animals rain from a small cloud above the dinosaur's head.

Not wanting to be outdone by his friends the third dinosaur quickly tries to think of something better.

"I wish for a meatier shower!"

Why can't dinosaurs say the alphabet?

Because they are dead.

A dinosaur, a spider, and a cowboy walk into a bar

All three sit at the bar and begin drinking heavily, clearly distressed. The bartender asks them what their troubles are.
The Cowboy takes a shot, then says "my horse got loose, ran into traffic, and got hit by a semi truck carrying gasoline. Cause a whole big explosion and blew my poor horse to bits." The spider nods sympathetically. "I just lost my husband in that same fire. The driver found him, freaked out, and crashed trying to squash my dear hubby."
The bartender is in shock, but finally asks the dinosaur his story.
The dinosaur sniffed, took a sip from his straw, and said "My whole family was on that truck"

What did the canadian dino wear to keep warm?

A Jurassic Parka

Why did the dinosaurs die out.

They got ereptile dysfunction.

How can you tell a dinosaur is an herbivore?

They will tell you within three minutes of meeting them and remind you every fifth sentence.

What dinosaur can't you hear go to the bathroom?

All of them, they're all dead.

Two Italian guys, Dino and Marcello, go fishing on a boat

Suddenly, Dino spots an old WWII bomb floating towards them.

Dino screams "Marcello! Look! It's a mine!"

Marcello -scared- replies "Okay okay Dino, you can a have it!"

Where did dinosaurs get their presents!

Toysaurus

Three dinosaurs are running across the desert when they stumble across a magic lamp.

They rub it, and a genie appears.

"I have three wishes, so I'll give one to each of you," the genie announces.

The first dinosaur thinks hard.

"Alright," he says, "I'll have a big, juicy, piece of meat."

Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he'd ever seen appears in front of him.

Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur thinks even harder.

"I know! I'll have a shower of meat!"

Immediately, huge pieces of meat rain down around him.

The third dinosaur, certainly not to be outdone, thinks harder than the previous dinosaurs.

"I've got it!" he cries, "I want a MEATIER shower!"

What is a dinosaurs least favorite Reindeer?

Comet.

Dinosaurs really got wiped out by a rock

Shoulda picked paper

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because chickens were not invented yet

Dinosaur Age

There is a dinosaur in the British museum that is 3 million and 24 years old.

I know this because when I visited it 24 years ago, it was 3 million years old.

Joke by my little cousin : Which Dino was the best in English?

The Saurus

Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands?

Cause they're dead.

Why do dinosaurs make bad pets?

Because they're all dead.

Which dinosaur does the government of the People's Republic of China hate?

Taiwanasaurus

Which dinosaur is the worst driver?

T-Wrecks

Do t-rex like explosions

I dont know but another dino might

Where does a dinosaur keep his underwear?

DRAWR

What do you get if a dinosaur kicks you in the backside?

Megasoreass

Why did the dinosaurs become extinct?

Because of ereptile dysfunction.

What's more likely to explode? A T-Rex or a rooster?

Well the chicken won't but a dino might.

Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands?

Because they're dead.


Source: my 10yr old

Was offered a bowl of dinosaurs to eat from my toddler.

"No thanks! I'm allergic to dinosaurs, they make me break out in Dino sores"

Audible groan and required "I hate you" from their babysitter.

How does a dinosaur like it's meat?

Rawr.

Why did the dinosaur newspaper shutdown?

Their ratings were killed by social meteor

How do dinosaurs get in shape?

T-rexercise

What happens when you let dinosaurs drive?

You get tyrannosaurus wrecks.

Why did the dinosaur end his relationship?

Because his ex stinked.

Dinosaur Jokes (2 of 3)

What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur?


A Lick-a-lot-a-pus

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dino flossiraptor jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dino triceratops piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes