JokoJokes

Dinner Table Jokes

95 dinner table jokes and hilarious dinner table puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dinner table that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Popular Dinner Table Short Jokes

Short dinner table jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dinner table humour may include short dining table jokes also.

  1. Two Karens are out having dinner The waiter stopped by their table and said "is anything ok?"
  2. Yesterday at the dinner table my dad asked me, "are you even listening to me?" weird way to start a conversation if you ask me.
  3. A toast Wife at the dinner table: Please toast some bread for me.
    The lazy husband raised his wine glass and said, "To bread."
  4. I was having dinner .. .. .. with Garry Kasporov
    and on the table was a checkered tablecloth.

    It took him 2 hours to pass me the salt.
  5. After dinner my wife asked me if I could clear the table... I needed a running start, but I did it!
  6. What's the worst part of thanksgiving dinner in Alabama? Having to sit around a table with all the people you've slept with.
  7. I remember when I was a kid, at dinner my parents gave me a knife and fork, so I'd bang them on the table.. ..We were quite an incestuous family.
  8. Why don't Jedi parents let their kids use the Force at the dinner table? Like any other parents, they believe children should not be Force-fed.
  9. A 7 y/o asks his mom at the dinner table... "Mom?"
    "Yes, honey?"
    "I can be whatever I want to be right?"
    "Yes, dear."
    "Then can I be a carnivore?"
    "...Eat your vegetables."
  10. USA elected a billionaire that is appointing other billionaires to fix the system that made them billionaires I laughed so hard thinking about this on the dinner table

Share These Dinner Table Jokes With Friends




Dinner Table One Liners

Which dinner table one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dinner table? I can suggest the ones about dinner party and table and chairs.

  1. My mom keeps asking me who made a mess at the dinner table I spilled the beans
  2. What did the termite eat for dinner? A table for two.
  3. How to make your steak taste better? Eat it with bunch of vegans on the dinner table.
  4. What do breads do at the dinner table? Toast
  5. My mom asked me to lay the table for dinner... I did the opposite and delayed it.
  6. What do you call a cough at a dinner table? A contract
  7. Last night at the dinner table someone asked me to shift left... ...so I multiplied.
  8. What can you find on a dinner table that can get you arrested? A salt shaker
  9. What can you say at the dinner table and in bed? Grandma, put your dentures back in.
  10. What disease causes people to swear at the dinner table? Gilles de la gourmette
  11. A man and his wife are having a baby at the dinner table Man: Tastes like chicken.
  12. Never.... let your 12 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
  13. Thanksgiving dinner table comment of the day... Mom: "Dark Meat Matters"
  14. How does a chef ask to leave the dinner table? He says, "Gourmet I be excused?"

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about dinner table can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of dinner table puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Uproarious Dinner Table Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about dinner table you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean dinner jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make dinner table prank.

Yo momma's so poor, when I asked her what was for dinner she put her feet on the table and said, "Corn."

A h**... family's only son saves up money to go to college. After about three years, he comes back home. They are sitting around the dinner table, when the dad says, ''Well son, you done gone to college, so you must be perty smart. Why don't you speak some math fer' us?''
''Ok, Pa.'' The son then says, ''Pi R squared.''
After a moment, the dad says, ''Why son, they ain't teached ya nothin'! Pie are round, cornbread are square.''

Yo mama is so poor, I went to her place for dinner the other day, and when I asked what we were having, she put her foot up on the table and said "corn !".

Jack wakes up with a horrible hangover and a throbbing black eye.

The first thing he sees is a single rose on the side table and a note from his wife: Dear, breakfast is made. I've gone shopping to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you!
He stumbles to the kitchen and, sure enough, there's breakfast. Joe, he says to his son, what happened last night?
You came home s**... and got that black eye tripping over a chair.
So, why the rose, breakfast, and sweet note from your mother?
Oh, that. Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to t**... clothes, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, I'm married!'

Memory Lane...

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly..'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

Three ladies meet up for a drink

Three ladies meet up for a drink once a week.
The first lady says: "The other night, when my boyfriend got in from work, I surprised him. I was standing in the hallway, wearing these tall leather boots, a corset, long black silk gloves, and lots of makeup. I looked him in the eye and said 'Hello there, big boy.' He grabbed me, flung me to the floor and we made love right there and then and it was AMAZING."
Next week they meet up again.
The second lady says to the first one: "I took a tip from you. The other night my fiance came home from work, and I was standing in the bedroom wearing high heels, a tiny skirt, a see-through top and heavy makeup. I said 'Hello there. Big Boy.' and he flung me on the bed and it was unbelievable! He was like a wild animal!"
The third lady, married for ten years and seeing things get a bit stale in the bedroom, decides she needs a piece of the action.
She dresses up in thigh high leather boots, a tiny black skirt, a cleavage-tastic corset, long black gloves and she puts on the sluttiest makeup job in the history of s**... makeup jobs. She waits in the kitchen, thinking that when hubby gets home he may do something really sordid like make love to her right there on the kitchen table.
Sure enough, he comes home and walks into the kitchen.
She looks him in the eye and says: "Hello there. Big Boy."
He looks back at her and says: "Hey Batman, what's for dinner?"

A guy goes to his psychiatrist complaining about his s**... life...

Upon further discussion the psychiatrist suggests that the spark of excitement has gone out of his client's marriage.
"Perhaps," he suggests, "the next time you are feeling amorous, you should just take your wife, s**... and with abandon, right there and then, no matter the circumstance."
The man agrees that it seems a good idea. Two weeks later, he returns for his normal session with the psychiatrist.
"How did things go?" asks the psychiatrist.
"Absolutely amazing," says the man. "One night, as we sat down to dinner, I looked at my wife. She looked at me and we immediately made mad, passionate love right there on the table."
"So, things are good?" asks the psychiatrist.
"Couldn't be better," says the guy, "except we're can't eat at the Denny's next to our house anymore."

Delicious goat.

Mom and Dad invited Aunt Edna over for dinner. Mom was cooking while Dad set the table, and Aunt Edna asked Timmy what they were having for dinner.
"Fish," said Timmy.
"Hmf," said Aunt Edna. "I don't approve of foods that have spent their previous lives immersed in salt. Are you quite sure?"
"Yep." Timmy shrugged. "Dad said to Mom, 'Today is just as good as any to have the old trout for dinner.'"

A man and a woman go out to dinner...

This is during the time the Mad Cow disease ravished Britain. A man and a woman are sitting at a table when the waiter approaches them, asking "what would you like for dinner?"
The man replies, I'll have a fat juicy steak, medium rare with all the trimmings. Gravy and roast potatoes please. The waiter asks "what about the mad cow?"
To which the man replies
"Nahh she'll just have fish"

The Polite Way to Pee 

a friend sent this to me on whatsapp today.
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" 
Michael said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.' 
The teacher responded by saying: 'That would be rude and impolite'
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman said: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.' 😶
'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. 
And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners? 
Johnny said: 'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.' 
The teacher fainted...

Baked Beans.

One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

Supposedly this joke was rated the funniest joke in a survey of British people...

Patient: Doctor, last night, I made Freudian slip. I was sitting at the dinner table next to my mother-in-law. I turned to her and I meant to say,"Please pass the salt", but instead I said "You fat cow, you've ruined my life".

A fine-looking gentleman sat down in...

...the main dining room of an expensive restaurant. He ordered a big dinner and spent an hour enjoying himself.
After he was given the check, he summoned the headwaiter. "Ah, my friend," he said, "that was a delicious meal! Perhaps you don't remember that I was a guest at this same table just about a year ago. And at that time I couldn't pay the check, so you, sir had me thrown out in full view of all the other diners!"
"I am so sorry, sir" said the head waiter. "But, you understand-"
"Oh it's quite all right," interrupted the gentleman, "but I'm afraid I'll have to trouble you again."

A man gets married and decides to set some ground rules..

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want, and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride thought for a minute and replied, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be s**... here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."

Pretty woman sneezes

At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table.
Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her.
"This is so embarrassing," the woman says, and she pops her eye back in place. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy dinner to make it up to you. May I join you?" He nods.
The woman is a stimulating conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common. He gets her phone number and asks, "You are the most charming woman I've ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
"No," she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."

A boy and his father are eating lasagna at the dinner table...

The father says ''make sure to lean over your plate, son.''
The boy asks ''but why?''
The father replies with ''so, you'll get less-on-ya''

I walked into this dinner last week...

I walked into this dinner last week and immediately heard a woman screaming at her assumed boyfriend. I didn't really notice him until she got up from the table. That's when everyone noticed his loud moaning and his eyes were leaking like faucets . I suddenly felt somewhat sorry for the guy and couldn't stop thinking about him even now. I guess that just goes to show you should never break up with a girl when she's clenching two forks in her hands.

How do you tell male flies from female flies?

After dinner a wife comes into the kitchen and sees her husband sitting at the dinner table with a fly swatter and asks what he is doing.
Husband: I'm killing flies. I already got two male flies and three females.
Wife: How do you know whether they are male or female.
Husband: Well, I got two on my beer and three on my wallet.

A one-armed eldery man and his wife step into a restaurant in Paris

The man orders a steak while his wife goes for a salad. The waiter sees the man struggle with his steak, as he only has one arm. The waiter feels bad for the man, but doesn't want to ask him if everything is alright because he might embarrase the man. At one point the man leaves the table to go to the bathroom and the waiter approaches the woman.
"Is everything alright?" He asks. The woman tells him that her husband lost his arm in the second world war when he was fighting in Paris. The waiter tells his manager they've got a proper veteran in their restaurant and the manager doesn't think twice. "Everyone that fought for our freedom eats for free!"
The waiter brings them the good news and the couple is much delighted. After dinner the manager and the waiter e**... the couple to the door. When holding the door open for the veteran he looks at the manager and says "Vielen dank für die guten abend"

How do you know if you're a b**...?

You let your 15 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table... in front of her kids.

My wife has some guests over for dinner and she asked me to prepare the table

So I went in and told them all about her cooking

Table manners

Teacher:"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
Teacher: 'That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.'
Teacher:'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'
Johnny: 'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.'

So this Pharaoh was making a dinner reservation...

Tutankhamen- I'd like to make a reservation for dinner, it's a special occasion. Name, Tutankhamen.
Restaurant Host- Oh, nice, who will you be dining with?
Tutankhamen- Oh my wife, also my sister and step-mother.
Restaurant Host- Ok, I'll put you in for a table for four, near the grotto.
Tutankhamen- Four? I'm just bringing Ankhesenamun.

A family is at the table eating dinner.

"I don't like Grandpa" said the boy to his Mom.
"That's okay honey, just finish your potatoes instead." She replied.

a cannibal family is sitting at the dinner table...

finishing up, when the youngest cannibal comes rushing in, panting, "am i too late?" the dad replies, picking his teeth "yep, everyone's already eaten".

It's just a monkey.

When an adolescent girl starts growing p**..., she asks her mother about what's going on with her. The mother replies "it's just a monkey who is starting to grow hair". Later at the dinner table, she tells her older sister that her monkey had started growing hair. The sister replies "Mine even started eating bananas!".

My father looked at me over the dinner table as I chewed on a massive steak

"Aren't you going to eat anything else?"
He asked.
"Cavemen only ate meat, do you see any of them around?"
I looked up at him and replied.
"Yes."

A kid is flunking a public school, so his parents move him to a private school

All the sudden inthe private school his grades skyrocket up to A's. Then one night at the dinner table his parents ask,
"Why were you doing so bad in a
public school, and when we switched you to a
private school you did good?" The kid says,
"because I knew they were serious about school.
The first day I walked in they had a guy nailed
to a plus sign."

Anyone else hate their war veteran grandads at the dinner table?

I'm trying to eat dinner here grandad I don't care how many Jews you've killed!!!

Dinner

A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!"
The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"

I invited the girl I'm dating over for dinner.

While we were all sat at the table, there was complete silence. It made me feel very uncomfortable.
I said, "Why does it feel like there's an elephant in the room?"
"Because there is," said my dad, looking at the girl.

I was having dinner at my girlfriend's house for the first time.

"Excuse me, I just need the toilet," I said, excusing myself from the table.
"Don't forget to spray the air freshener!" joked the dad.
I said, "No need. c**... doesn't smell."

How many appendages am I holding up?

This was an on-the-spot joke made by my dad at the dinner table:
>Dad: I can see everything
>Me: How many fingers am I holding up below the table?
>Dad: No more than five.
>Me (thinking to include toes): How many appendages am I holding up?
>Dad: That's disgusting.

When Kathy Griffin was 10 years old, she stood up at the dinner table and announced to her family that she was going to grow up and become a stand-up comedian. They all laughed in her face.

No one is laughing now.

So my parents were "debating" at the dinner table the other night

Mom: Cougar is the term used to describe an older woman who desires young men. I'm seeing a double standard here. Why isn't there a term for an older man who desires young women? What is he called?
Dad: Smart.

I once went to dinner with Hillary Clinton, but the waiter never came to our table.

I guess it was a secret server.

Mike Pence is at the dinner table with his family...

His son, who has been very quiet, tells him "Dad, this might come as a shock, but I think I'm gay."
Pence laughs and says "Son, you're getting it all mixed up! I'm not the one getting shocked!"

The Jew says...

A Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim and a Jew were in a discussion during a dinner.

Catholic: I have a large fortune… I am going to buy Citibank!

Protestant: I am very wealthy and will buy General Motors!

Muslim: I am a fabulously rich prince… I intend to purchase Microsoft!

They all wait for the Jew to speak…

The Jew stirs his coffee, places the spoon neatly on the table, takes a sip of his coffee,
looks at them and casually says: I'm not selling!!

A little boy asked his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?"

"That's not appropriate dinner table conversation, son," said his dad. "We can talk about that later."

After dinner the man said, "Now, son, what were you trying to ask me before?"

"Oh, nothing," said the boy. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it's gone."

Oh man, I'm so scr*wed!

A guy says to his best friend "Oh man, I'm so scr*wed!"
His best friend asks him "Why are you scr*wed?"
The guy responds "Well my girlfriend took me out to dinner with her parents, and gave me a h*ndjob under the table..."
His friend says "DUDE Thats awesome! Why are you s**... though?"
The guy says "It was a glass table."

Do you know what uncle Putin said at the xmas table?

Looks like I'm having turkey for dinner.

Take only one

A boy was at a church dinner. They approached the fruit table. A nun, who was refilling the apple tray, instructed them, "We need to feed many people, so be nice and take only one. Remember, God is watching." He took one apple and moved along.
When he got to the dessert table, he took as many cookies as he could put on his plate. When a nun asked why he was doing that, he said, "Don't worry, God is busy watching the apples."

The most deceitful part of a book is the Table of Contents.

When I turned to it, I thought I was getting dinner.

At the dinner table one night...

...a father asked his son how his day in school went.
"Oh, it was great, Dad! I got a part in the school play."
"Really?" said the father. "Tell me about it."
"Well, I play the part of a man who's been married 20 years."
The father said, "That's great, son. And if you do a good job, maybe next time you'll get a speaking part."

I decided to call my newly adopted dog "Onions"

So I could have a reason for crying when I cut him up at the dinner table

A family sits at the dinner table.

Son: "Dad, I need to tell you something. I'm gay."
Dad: "..."
Other son: "Dad, I'm also gay."
Dad: "Isn't there anyone who likes girls anymore?
Daughter: "Yes, me."

As it is international women's day i told my gf ill do the dinner tonight

Tables booked for 7

A man who is well-known for overindulging at elaborate dinners is feeling abdominal pain and goes to his doctor. He asks, "Doc, is it my appendix?"

The doctor replies "No, I think it is more like your table of contents."

A woman is preparing dinner for her husband

While she was setting the table, a minister and the manager of the brewery the husband works at knock on the door.
When she opens the door the manager says, "We're extremely sorry, but this morning your husband fell into one of the vats of beer and drowned"
The woman explodes at the manager, "He died this morning and your telling me this now!?!?!?"
The manager replies, "Well, he got out a couple times to use the bathroom"

I understand that the doctor needs to feel my wife's b**...

But at the dinner table, it's just rude

After several dates, my girlfriend wanted me to meet her parents, so they invited me over for dinner. It did not go well...

During the meal, somebody started playing footsies with me under the table, then gradually moved up and kept rubbing until I came. Later, I told my girlfriend how much I had enjoyed the s**... play during dinner. She got so mad and said that it wasn't her. I guess I got off on the wrong foot.

Our daughter wants us to set a place at our Thanksgiving dinner table, for her teddy bear, Theodore. She promises he won't eat very much.

She said he has been eating a lot lately, and is already stuffed

Family Prayer

Little Johnny's family is sitting at the dinner table. Lil Johnny's dad tells him to say the dinner prayer.
Little Johnny says, "Dear God, Thank you for the food we are about to eat, and please, oh please God, send clothes for all those poor ladies on Dad's computer. Amen!"

Dear Belarusian President Lukashenko

my mother-in-law is taking the next Ryanair flight number 1268 from Paris to Moscow and will be flying over your territory at around 8pm. I distinctly heard her criticising your regime this Sunday at the dinner table. You are welcome.
Ps: not my joke, translated from french

Sat down in a restaurant to eat dinner last night, and the waiter asked if I'd like to hear today's special.

I said yeah
He said, today is special.
I said, I can appreciate a good dad joke, but can you tell me about the menu please.
The waiter slams his notebook down on the table, and says, sir the men I please is my own private business.
**EDIT**
Thank you for the awards!!

A farmer at the dinner table with his 2 daughters and his son

The farmer is sitting at the dinner table enjoying his meal. When 1 of his daughters speaks up: "Dad I have to confess something ...". "I'm lesbian". The farmer is a bit suprised but replies with: "That's ok darling". Then the second daughter also speaks up: "Euhh I'm also lesbian". To wich the farmer replies: "Does nobody in this house like boys"? To wich the son slowly raises his hand.

Two ghosts were arguing...

Two ghosts had gone out for dinner at the pub and were having a great time until politics were brought up. Things got heated fast and the barman came over to the table to sort things out. Trouble was, the barman couldn't help either ghost see the others perspective mainly because he couldn't communicate with them properly.
Beginning to get frustrated, he turned away from the table and exclaimed under his breath,
"I'm going to have to find them a happy medium to get them to agree".

What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?

Hold on to your nuts this will be one h**... of a b**...!
(My brother and I heard this in the school yard when we were 9&6 respectively. That night he told it at the dinner table when my grandma was over!)

Grandpa, these dishes on the dinner table are a little dirty

Grandfather replied: there as clean as cold water can get 'em

Next day:

Grandpa these dishes are still dirty, do we not have much cold water?
Grandpa: cold water runs all day, so those dishes are as clean as cold water can get
Alright, whatever you say
Day after:
Grandpa and grandkid are finishing dinner
Kid: grandpa I think I see a dog outside! Can we bring him in?
Grandpa: sure!
Grandpa opens the door
C'MERE COLD WATER!
(This joke was from my grandmother years ago)

A couple are on a date in a romantic restaurant...

A couple are on a date in a romantic restaurant. As their order arrives, the wife looks around and notices every table has a couple having a romantic candlelight dinner date.
The man on the table to her right says to his date, "pass me the sugar, my sweet Sugar"
The man on the table to her left says to his date, "pass me the honey, my sweet Honey"
She asks her husband, "Look at all these men, why aren't you romantic with me like this?"
The husband looks her deeply into her eyes and says with his most romantic voice,
"Pass me the pork, my fat pig"

Spartacus and his wife are enjoying a nice dinner with friends when

Out of nowhere a lion leaps onto the table and swallows his wife whole!
Horrified, his friends shout "Spartacus, your wife was just eaten by a lion! Why didn't you do something?"
Shocked Spartacus says "Do something? I was gladiator."

A Mexican guy and his pet otter go to a restaurant . . .

A Mexican guy and his pet otter go to a restaurant, sit down at a table, and place their order. They are in for an early dinner and are the only customers. The chef looks down at the order slip and says incredulously: who comes to a restaurant and orders a whole raw fish? . His sous chef scans the restaurant, sees his only two customers, and replies: it's either Juan or the otter .

Freudian slip

A guy is talking to his buddy.
\-I made a total fool of myself today. I was talking to a very well endowed young woman at the airport and I said: "I need two pickets to Tittsburgh." She was embarrassed and so was I.
His buddy replies:
\-Yeah, it's called a Freudian slip. I had one at the dinner table last night. I wanted to say to my wife "Pass the potatoes" and instead, I said: "You lousy b**..., you messed up my life!"

Anniversary

On their 25th anniversary, a husband took his wife out to dinner.
Their teenage daughters said they'd have dessert waiting for them when they returned.
After they got home, they saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles, and there was a note that read: Your dessert is in the refrigerator. We are staying with friends, so go ahead and do something we wouldn't do!
I suppose, the husband responded, we could vacuum.

Dad, are bugs good to eat? asked the boy. Let's not talk about such things at the dinner table, son, his father replied. After dinner the father inquired, Now, son, what did you want to ask me?

Oh, nothing, the boy said. There was a bug in your soup, but now it's gone.

jokes about dinner table

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these dinner table jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.