Dinner Party Jokes
78 dinner party jokes and hilarious dinner party puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dinner party that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Dinner Party Short Jokes
Short dinner party jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dinner party humour may include short cocktail party jokes also.
- I think there are nine vampires coming to my dinner party. Oh, wait... I forgot to Count dracula.
- Son of a god 8yr old Jesus at dinner party: Can I have wine?
Mom: No you only get water.
Jesus: (Giggling) OK. - Santa's reindeer had an issue with their dinner reservation. The restaurant simply refused to seat the Donner party.
- Lovingly slow-cooked over an open flame... ...I served a female deer with herbs to my family at a recent dinner party.
Calling it "Spit-Roasted Dill Doe" was maybe a little unwise. - After a dinner party ...while taking plates to the kitchen my guest asked if the dishwasher was dirty.
I said no, I believe she showered before dinner. - My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear and she asked, Do you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear? In my best bear voice, I replied, No thanks, I'm stuffed!"
- Hannibal Lector crashed my dinner party and rudely demanded that I feed him! I gave him a piece of my mind.
- The difference between 'Dinner Party' and 'Donner Party? The meaning of 'Who is being served now?'
- How do you embarrass Eva Braun at a dinner party? Panzer...
- What did the Whig party have for dinner? Chicken Cacciatore.
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Dinner Party One Liners
Which dinner party one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dinner party? I can suggest the ones about dinner guest and dinner table.
- What did the cannibal get when he was late to the dinner party? The cold shoulder.
- What happened when the cannibal was late to the dinner party? He got the cold shoulder.
- What did the late arriving cannibal receive at the dinner party? The cold shoulder.
- I used to love going to dinner parties as a little girl My wife hated it though.
- How do you find a vegan at your dinner party? Don't worry, they'll tell you.
- What do cannibals serve at the beginning of a dinner party? Handshakes.
- I showed up late to a cannibal dinner party... They gave me the cold shoulder.
- What did the cannibal who was late to the dinner party get? The left-ovaries.
- The other day I showed up late to a cannibal dinner party. I got the cold shoulder.
- The Donner Party Diet Breakfast: Jacks
Lunch: Franks
Dinner: Patties - I went to a dinner party for anorexics. There was an all-you-can't-eat buffet.
- Who are the worst guests at a dinner party? Vegan bitcoin owners.
- What do you get after the animal dinner party? Stuffed animals.
- What is the worst thing to give to a cannibal at a dinner party? The cold shoulder.
- What do you call a cannibalistic dinner party? The Donner Party
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Dinner Party Jokes
What funny jokes about dinner party you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dinner jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dinner party pranks.
A husband, who has six children, begins to call his wife “mother of six” rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of this. "Mother of six," he would say, "what’s for dinner tonight? Get me a beer!" She gets very frustrated. Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yells out, "Mother of six, I think it's time to go!" The wife immediately shouts back, "I'll be right with you, father of four!"
Signs You're No Longer in College...
You no longer know what time fast food drive-thru windows close.
Your potted plants stay alive.
You pay at least a dollar more than the minimum payment on your credit card bill.
Your friends' hook-ups and break-ups are now marriages and divorces.
You attend parties that the police don't raid.
You're not expected to leave the room when the adults are talking.
You refer to college students as "those kids."
You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of just beer, beer and beer.
You feed your dog Science Diet instead of leftover pizza.
At 6 a.m., you're putting your contact lens in instead of taking them out.
Naps are no longer weekday options.
Dating involves dinner and a movie, not keggers and Ecstasy.
Grocery lists contain more than toilet paper and potato chips.
You leave parties because you have a busy day tomorrow, not because the EMS guy has strapped you down.
Hey, did you hear about the cannibal who arrived late to the dinner party?
They gave him the cold shoulder!
An ex-con goes out on a date...
So an ex-con is walking around the mall with his girlfriend after dinner, when they happen across a Jewelry store. The girlfriend eyes one of the necklaces on display in the window and says, "Wow, I'd sure love to have a necklace like that around my neck!" Nonchalantly, the ex-con smashes the window with a brick and hands his girlfriend the necklace, saying, "Anything for my baby."
They continue walking along and soon enough happen across a high-end clothing store. The girlfriend eyes one of the dresses on display in the window and says, "Wow, I'd sure love to have a dress like that to wear to parties!" Nonchalantly, the ex-con smashes the window with another brick and hands his girlfriend the dress, saying, "Anything for my baby."
They continue walking along and soon enough happen across a car dealership. The girlfriend eyes one of the Mercedes on display in the window and says, "Wow, I'd sure love to have that Mercedes to drive around town in!" The ex-con pauses and replies: "What? You think I'm made out of bricks?"
A snail tale
A woman sends her husband out to buy escargot for a a dinner party that night, but instead of going straight to the store, the husband decides to stop at the local bar. He has a few beers, and then some more, and pretty soon he looks at his watch and he's over an hour late for the dinner party. He dashes to the store, picks up the escargot and frantically drives home. When he walks in the door he can hear his wife coming from the kitchen. So he takes the bag of snails and throws them all over the floor. When his wife walks in the room, he says, "Come on guys, we're almost there!"
A husband and wife are headed to a dinner party.
As they're driving, the husband accidentally runs over a skunk. The wife, all concerned, makes him stop to see if the skunk is okay.
"Honey, it's still alive! We can't just leave it here," the wife says.
"Dear, it's only a skunk. Let's go."
"No. We have to take it to the vet."
"Fine. We'll go after the dinner party. When we get to the party, just keep it under your dress to keep it warm."
"But what about the smell?"
"I don't know. Just hold its nose."
Penguin
One day a penguin decides to go to a party. He dresses in his usual tuxedo, and then drives over to the mansion. He eats his dinner and then it was time for dessert. Ice cream, the penguin's favorite! The penguin laps up the ice cream getting it all over his beak and face feathers. On his drive home his car breaks down and he calls for a tow. After the mechanic inspects the car he proceeds to tell the penguin "You blew a seal". To which the penguin replies "No, it's ice cream"
What's the difference between an orange and an e**...?
... I don't have an orange.
My boyfriend's cousin introduced himself to me with this joke. Works best when whispered quietly into someone's ear at a noisy dinner party, FYI.
A elderly woman receives her invitation for the local doctor's next dinner party in the mail
...but unfortunately she can't make out all of the doctor's terrible handwriting, and therefore doesn't know what time to show up at. Not wishing to be rude by phoning the doctor, she reasons that the local pharmacist would be familiar with the doctor's handwriting and might be able to decipher the invitation for her.
At the pharmacists she gives the invitation to the cashier, explaining "the doctor sent me this today and I simply can't read what it says, do you think the pharmacist could have a look at it for me?"
"That's no problem at all" says the cashier, and makes his way to the back of the store. A few minutes later he returns with a bottle of pills, "The pharmacist has had a look at your note and says you're to take two of these three times a day for the next four weeks".
At the dinner party...
the suave man asks his wife "Pass the sugar, sugar!"
Not to be outdone, his buddy says to his own wife "Pass the honey, honey!"
Their biker pal turns to his old lady and yells "Pass the pork, pig!"
Never invite a vampire to give a toast at a wedding reception
They s**... at dinner parties
The White House Correspondents' Dinner is ...
just a big political party.
Wife at dinner party: "my husband is always calling me Sarah Palin"
Guests: "that's funny, why does he call you Sarah Palin?"
Wife: "because he hates Sarah Palin."
What do you say to change the atmosphere at a dinner party?
"If were all here, who's looking after Madeline?"
Holiday Dinner Party
A cannibal arrives late for a dinner party
He sees that his friends have not started eating yet or even cooking yet and says "Oh, thanks for waiting."
His friends responded "No problem. We couldn't start until you were here."
What gas is best dressed at a dinner party?
Formaldehyde
A woman was seated next to President Coolidge (aka silent Cal ) at a dinner party.
I bet my friend that I would be able to get more than two words out of you tonight, she said.
You lose, he replied.
I told my husband he really should stop m**....
"Why?", he asked
"Because you're making this dinner party REALLY uncomfortable for our guests."
What did the patriarchy serve at their dinner party?
Traditional gender rolls.
Have you heard of the new crime drama involving a rich dinner party?
It's called Law and Hors D'oeuvres.
A man goes to a party
and goes towards the waiter at the front desk.
"What's to do around here?" asked the man.
"Well we have the Dinner Line," replied the waiter. "and we also have the Dessert Line.
"
The man looks around the room, confused, so he asks the waiter,
"Where's the Punch Line?"
"It's gone."
Guy with a lisp turns up to a dinner party carrying a selection of cheeses and a couple of ducks under his arm
The host says, "thanks for bringing the cheese, but why the ducks?"
The guest replies, "can't have cheese without cwackers"
What do you call a DC-Universe themed dinner party?
A Mister Mxyzpotluck
A woman and her daughter are hosting a dinner party.
When all the guests arrive, the woman asks the little girl to say grace. She says, "But Mommy, I don't know what to say?" The mother says, "You've heard me pray. Just say you've heard me say." So the girl says, "Jesus, what was I thinking inviting all these people over to my house?"
Frank's been drinking too much at the dinner party and decides to give a toast to his wife
"To my wife, the love of my life, and the sexiest woman I know. But it's too bad only one of those three is here tonight!"
There was a burst of laughter from the crowd, but Frank's wife took it in stride, raising here glass for a toast of her own.
"To my husband, a good provider, and the father of my children. Too bad only one of those could make it."
what was served for dinner at the Bolsheviks party meetings?
A wine aficionado/part time EMT gets invited to a dinner party...
While the bottle of red was passed out, he shouts "Everybody get back! OK, now let it breathe a little."
What happened when James Bond's stomach growled during a fancy dinner party?
He said: "Stop, you're under a vest!"
Would you sleep with me for ten million dollars?
At a fancy dinner party, a man turns to a woman and suddenly says:
- Would you sleep with me for ten million dollars?
The woman giggles.
- Of course I would!
- How about doing it for fifteen dollars?
The woman looks disgusted.
- Why, what kind of woman do you think I am?
- That's already been established. Now we're just haggling about the price.
Just invited a blind bingo caller to my dinner party
He's not a close friend, just there to make up the numbers.
I was disappointed that my friend chose to bring hot dogs to my fancy p**...-luck dinner party.
But, I suppose he could have bratwurst.
Why did the lovestruck king skip the dinner party?
Because despite the nice card inviting him, his heart had been stolen and so he had no suit.
What do you call it when a cannibal's guests leave the dinner party?
a bowel movement
What did the Frenchman with bad allergies say when he had to leave the dinner party?
My sincerest apologies but I bid you all ACHOO.
How do you spot a remainer at a dinner party?
Oh, don't worry, they'll let you know.
How do you make a Dinner party awkward?
Change the i into an o.
I hate when during a dinner party someone brings up how inhumane killing cows is.
They really know h**... the moo
