The Best 18 Dining Room Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dining Room jokes. There are some dining room jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dining room puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Dining Room Jokes and Puns

I used to sell home security systems.

It was super easy.

I went door to door and If the customer wasn't home, I'd just leave my brochure and business card on their dining room table.

A Rich Woman And Her Butler

A rich couple was going out for the evening. The lady of the house decided to give the butler,
Throckmorton, the night off.

She said they would be home very late and he should just enjoy his evening.

As it turned out, the wife didn't have a good time at the party, so she came home early.
She walked into the house and eyed Throckmorton sitting alone in the dining room.
She called for him to follow her. She led him to the master bedroom.
She closed and locked the door. She looked at him and smiled.

"Throckmorton. Take off my dress." He did so, carefully.

"Throckmorton. Take off my stockings and garter." He silently obeyed her.

"Throckmorton. Remove my bra and panties." The tension mounted as he complied.

Finally she looked at him and said,
"Throckmorton. If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired."

A fine-looking gentleman sat down in...

...the main dining room of an expensive restaurant. He ordered a big dinner and spent an hour enjoying himself.

After he was given the check, he summoned the headwaiter. "Ah, my friend," he said, "that was a delicious meal! Perhaps you don't remember that I was a guest at this same table just about a year ago. And at that time I couldn't pay the check, so you, sir had me thrown out in full view of all the other diners!"

"I am so sorry, sir" said the head waiter. "But, you understand-"

"Oh it's quite all right," interrupted the gentleman, "but I'm afraid I'll have to trouble you again."

I was fighting with my wife over the arrangement of the dining-room furniture.

I thought I had won but when I got home from work the tables were turned.

I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture, but when I got home...

...the tables were turned.


I saw a half lion, half eagle in the dining room at Hogwarts. Everyone was wondering how it had got in but it was obvious.

It came through the Griffindor.

Dirty things

Wife: Honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear !

Husband: Kitchen, living room, laundry, dining room...

I've heard of Lawyers who mount a stag's head in their study, or Doctors who mount a lion's head in their dining room...

I guess I just don't see the problem with a British Prime Minister mounting a pig's head wherever he pleases.

I was waiting on my food, when my waitress slipped on a wet spot in the dining room

The cook yelled from the back sorry for the long wait times, but our server is currently down

My chemist wife refurnishes the dining room quite often

She favors periodic tables over more permanent ones

I went to the DIY shop

I went to the DIY shop and bought a curtain rail. The shop assistant asked if I was putting it up myself. I replied "no you dirty sod. I'm putting it up in the dining room"

You can explore dining room reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dining room dad jokes. There are also dining room puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Two coworkers chat in the dining room

A: "Hey, you know what I did the other day? I found the courage to finally walk into the bosses office and assertively ask for a raise."

B:"Wow, really? How did it go?"

A:"We've reached a compromise. My pay doesn't change and in return I can keep my job."

A wife told his husband to whisper her dirty things, the man then replied, "The kitchen, the living room, the conservatory and the dining room."

If your girlfriend doesn't want to have sex in the dining room...

... then sex _on_ the table is _off_ the table.

Now serving: the Titanic Wedge Salad!

It's made from iceberg lettuce.

Note: I did not make this up. This is actually on the menu at my former workplace (the dining room at my grandmother's retirement home).

Where will you find a dog in a Chinese family's home?

Either the kitchen or the dining room

Whats the difference between a black man and a dining room table?

A dining room table can stay and support a family of four.

Standing in line at a restaurant, I noticed that the few available tables left had not been cleaned off.

I mentioned this to the cashier, who told the manager.

A minute later, an annoyed-looking teen emerged from the back with a spray bottle and paper towels in hand.

"All right," she bellowed clear across the crowded dining room, "which one of you people wanted a clean table?"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dining room jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dining room piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes