Dine Jokes
31 dine jokes and hilarious dine puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dine that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Love to wine and dine? Need a laugh? Check out this collection of hilarious diner jokes about sirloins, eating and more! Fun for the whole family – enjoy!
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Funniest Dine Short Jokes
Short dine jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dine humour may include short dining jokes also.
- A waiter walks up to a table full of Jewish women dining And says "ladies, is anything ok?"
- My son asked me, Dad, can I eat the last piece of cake in the fridge? I smiled and said, Sure..." "But the dining room would probably be more comfortable.
- I used to sell home security systems. It was super easy.
I went door to door and If the customer wasn't home, I'd just leave my brochure and business card on their dining room table. - Jesus invited prostitutes to dine with him, and he's the light of the world, I do it, and it ruins Thanksgiving.
- Me: Yeah I'll probably die alone Waiter: No I said will you be dining alone?
Me: Oh - The hearing-aid A man is dining in a restaurant and speaks to a waiter.
Man: Excuse me sir, I found a hearing-aid on my plate.
Waiter: What? - What do you call a dinner at a fancy restaurant with your 3 year old? Whine & dine
I'll see myself out - I was fighting with my wife over the arrangement of the dining-room furniture. I thought I had won but when I got home from work the tables were turned.
- Me: Hey, don't assume I'm dying alone. I might find someone, you don't know. Waiter: I asked if you were dining alone.
Me: Oh, sorry. Yes. - No wonder Bob Geldof is such an expert on famine. He's been dining off I Don't Like Mondays for 30 years.
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Dine One Liners
Which dine one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dine? I can suggest the ones about dinner and dining out.
- Joke from my 4.5 yo son Where does a T-rex go for dinner?
A DINE-osaur restaurant! - What's the russian royalty's favorite type of fish? Czar-dines!
- What's a Russian emperors favorite fish? *CZAR-DINES*
- What do you call a Radioactive Dine-and-Dasher? A Cher-No-Bill
- What do you call someone who is neither hungry or full? Non-Dine-ary
- What do you call an expensive restaurant? Dine & Whine
- What do you call a small dog that doesn't pay for its meals? A dine-and-daschund
- What do you call a T-Rex made from kitchen equipment? A dine-o-saur
- Why do many people eat at second-class restaurants? Every crowd has a silver dining.
- What is the Islamic State's favorite crime? The Dine-and-Daesh.
- Fine dining. My name's _____, but ladies call me Al Fresco, because I LOVE eating out.
- Two can dine... if we 69
- What do you get after dining at a chinese brothel? Fortune n**...
- What is o**... bin Laden's favourite way to dine? Aaaalllllaaaahhhhh carte.
Charming Humor Dine Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about dine you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean feast jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dine pranks.
Went to a diner with a couple I know. They started arguing.
Normally, I'm not one to take sides, but they were so distracted by yelling at each other that I stole her fries and his cole slaw...
I asked if a customer wanted to dine in or take away...
When at work one evening, someone wanted some fish and chips...
I asked if they wanted to dine in or take away.
He replied with 'Fuck off you p**...!'
I work in a prison.
How do you think the unthinkable ?
With an itheberg.
Btw.. every single person i've ever told this joke to said they didn't get it or that it wasn't funny.. why am I the w**... that finds it funny? And why am I picturing Mike Tyson?
Obv not my joke I heard it on Come Dine With Me
Why do so many recovering alcoholics dine at Japanese restaurants?
Best place to get Soba.
I was once in a diner and a man was choking. The waitress called out Help, does anyone know CPR?! Yes! I cried. They're three letters in the alphabet! Everyone laughed
Well, except for o**..., I guess he didn't get the joke.
"Spartans, tonight, we dine in h**...!!"
"j**..., don't scream at the kids like that! If you don't want to come at my mother's dinner, don't"
Not paying for a meal is called a Dine and Dash..
Surely not paying for a haircut is a cut and run?
What do you think about the new diner on the moon?
Food was good but there really wasn't enough atmosphere
When I was at the diner tonight my waitress had a black eye.
When I ordered I ordered real slow because apparently she don't listen so good.
What did the diner waitress say to Attila?
"More coffee, Hun?"
Diner: Can I ask about the menu please?
Waitress: The men I please are none of your business!
Last night, I had dinner at one of those illicit restaurants where you can dine on endangered species.
I left there full of egret.
Besides, rotisserie meat is too tough for those tiny army knives.
Swiss people refuse to dine at Boston Market because they hate choosing sides.
You know the fool-proof method to get your girl pregnant right?
Wait until the perfect Friday night and treat her real fine. I'm talking start with chocolate, flowers, the works. Dress in y'alls Sunday best and go to the best Italian place in town. Wine her and dine her then take her home. Take it slow but start getting her real hot. I'm talking wet enough to drown a fish. Once you've done every single step, in that order, absolutely perfectly, you call me over.
