Following is our collection of funny Dime jokes. There are some dime dollar jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dime defy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Three. Two to rotate, one to get it done in time.
I'd be like: "Why y'all keep giving me all these dimes?"
A minister and a lawyer arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter greeted both of them and gave them their room assignments.
"Pastor, here are the keys to one of our nicest efficiency units. And for you, sir, (to the lawyer) the keys to our finest penthouse suit."
"This is unfair!" cried the minister.
"Listen," Saint Peter said, "ministers are a dime a dozen up here, but this is the first lawyer we've seen."
I'd still say no.
A teenager walks proudly home one afternoon to tell his farther dime good news.
Teen: Hey dad, guys what, today i got my first job!
Father: Congratulations son, I'm very proud of you. How much does it pay?
Teen: (confused) well, so far I'm out 20 bucks. But if she starts paying me, I may have found a career!
A man was taking it easy, lying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to GOD.
"GOD", he said, "How long is a million years?"
GOD answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute."
The man asked, "GOD, how much is a million dollars?"
GOD answered, "To Me, it's a dime."
The man then asked, "GOD, can I have a dime?"
GOD said, "In a minute."
He sees an old cigarette machine and decides to buy a pack. He puts in his change and the machine flashes the words, DIME, DIME, DIME. He looks around and whispers to the machine, Malboro.
The new models are are so advanced not only will they stop on a dime, they'll actually pick it up.
On defense, they only run the Dime Formation
It turns on a dime then goes back and picks it up.
Not only does it stop on the dime, but it picks it up too!
You can explore dime quiero reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dime coin dad jokes. There are also dime puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
They don't just turn on a dime, they pick it up too
so i sold him a dime bag of quarters.
Someone dropped a dime on him.
Because the dime had more cents.
I would have a shitload of dimes.
Broke.
Did you hear about the new Jewish car?
Not only can it turn on a dime, but it can go back and pick it up too
At least I was able to turn on a dime.
It can stop on a dime, and the Jew got out and picked it up.
Allows any vehicle equipped with it to stop on a dime.
Optimus Dime.
I've paid my Jews.
Dime after dime....
I'd have a jillion, gazillion bucks!
It stops on a dime... & picks it up.
Not only will it stop on a dime but it'll pick the thing up too!
I would definitely think about you
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?" Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"
It not only stops on a dime, it picks it up too.
I would probably lose those between the couch cushions too.
Because it's always flat.
A flat.
I would have three cents
Johny was bullied by all the other second grade students. Every day, they would offer him either a dime or a nickel. Every time, he took the nickel. The kids would all laugh at him every time he took the nickel. One day a kid asked him why he always took the nickel, even though the dime was worth more. He quietly responded, "If I take the dime, they will stop offering me the money. I've made $20 already!"
...I could buy a BMW.
Unfortunately the dime was in Joeys pocket.
... And picked up two nickels.
The machine reads "dime" so he gets closer and whispers "quiero Pepsi".
I'd have 10 cents.
Two-faced and not worth a dime.
I'd have...well, I don't know really, I guess a lot of dimes.
Oh hey, just found a dime.
He gets a soda for 75c. He puts in 65c. The machine says "dime", so he whispers quiero una pepsi porfavor
You start to feel like you got ripped off after the first 7.
But I can't do his job,
I barely do mine.
It's not worth his dime.
Politicians prefer to bend a page over.
I'd have $1.46
but the price is 65 cents. Instead of dispensing the soda the machine it reads "DIME" so the man leans in and says Quiero una Coca
Seize the coin.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 32nd U.S. President
He was a dime piece
I wouldn't know how much I had. Why can't you americans just use numbers.
A Hispanic man goes to a vending machine and puts in 40 cents. The machine displays "DIME" on the screen. The man gets close to the machine and whispers, "Yo quiero Pepsi"
Everyone knew that copper was in a cent.
I would probably keep it for myself.
"I was young, married and out of work," he lectured. "I took the last nickel I had and bought an apple. I polished it and sold it for a dime. The next day I bought two apples, polished them and sold them for ten cents each."
"I see," said the junior executive. "You kept reinvesting your money and grew a big business."
"No," said the CEO. "Then my wife's father died and left me a fortune."
They stop on a dime and pick it up too.
I'd be like Yo, what's with all these dimes?
The poor guy never made a dime off of it.
Optimus dime.
"How much are the protons?"
"A dime a dozen, and the neutrons are free of charge."
Too bad they'll never see a dime of it.
I'd have a cent and a half from that time I met Handsome Steve.
A eweniverse.
They're called Firesteins. Not only do the stop on a dime, they pick them up too.
They just take the money and run.
It was gifted to me by my parents, whom are still alive and well!
I've maxed out 2 credit cards already and about to lose my home and I haven't made a single dime yet!
A cockroach came through the window. At once the chinese caught and ate it. Jew was dumbstrucked.
After a while another cockroach came through. With lightning fast action the jew caught it , before the chinese and asked,"wanna buy it for a dime?"
He's a dime piece
I'd be asking, "Where are all these dimes coming from?"
...upon further reflection, I may have misunderstood "a dime and ring", my bad.
My coworker makes pennies.
We work at a mint.
I'd be like why do yall keep giving me dimes??
I would be crushed by dimes and have no idea why.
A kid sets up a lemonade stand in front of his house, with a sign that says, All you can drink for a dime.
Before too long, a man happens by, sees the sign, and thinks it's a good deal. He gives the kid a dime and the kid hands him a cup.
The man tosses it back and says, Hey, that was pretty good. I'll have another.
The kid says, That'll be another dime.
Now wait a minute, says the man, your sign says 'all I can drink for a dime.'
But you just had a cup, didn't you? asked the kid.
Yeah.
Well, that's all you can drink for a dime.
Nowadays they've got these newfangled cameras everywhere.
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer. "Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent." "One Cent?" the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?" "A nickel," the barman replied.
"A nickel?" exclaimed the man.
"Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The bartender replied: "Upstairs, with my wife." The man asked: "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The bartender replied:
"The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."
Nickel-less
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dime circumsized jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working dime penny piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.