Digs Jokes
51 digs jokes and hilarious digs puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about digs that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Digs Short Jokes
Short digs jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The digs humour may include short digging jokes also.
- I dig, she dig, we dig, he dig, they dig, you dig .. It's not a beautiful poem but it's really deep.
- I was digging a hole in my backyard when I found a box filled with gold. I was so excited that I ran inside to tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging the hole in the first place.
- Spent over an hour at the wife's grave this morning. Bless her, she thinks I'm digging a pond.
- I wrote a poem. I dig.
You dig.
She digs.
He digs.
They dig.
We dig.
Now I know it's not a very good poem, but it's pretty deep. - There's a new goth dating app called graveyard. Instead of liking someone, you dig them.
(putting the romance back in necromance.) - What Ricky Gervais said after taking some digs at fat people at a show "I don't want fat people to feel uncomfortable at my gigs. So next time, buy two seats"
- I was digging in the garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run inside and tell my wife. But then I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden.
- If it takes 6 men 6 days to dig 6 holes, how long does it take one man to dig half a hole? There is no such thing as a half a hole. It's just a hole.
- I told my wife that what she's wearing isn't appropriate for gardening. But..she's digging in her heels.
- Did you hear about the archeologist who accidentally destroyed his dig site? His career is in ruins.
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Digs One Liners
Which digs one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with digs? I can suggest the ones about well digging and digger.
- I dig, you dig, he digs, she digs we dig, they dig. It's not a long poem, but it's deep.
- "Dad, I don't want to go visit Grandma" "Shut up, and keep digging"
- I spent a few hours by my wife's grave today. She thinks I'm digging a pond.
- But daaaad, I don't wanna go see grandma... "Son, shut up and keep digging,!"
- Spent an hour by my wife's grave God bless her soul, she thinks I'm digging a koi pond.
- Do y'all have any jokes about shovels? I really dig those types of jokes.
- Mommy mommy I dont wanna see grandma! Mom: Shut up and keep digging.
- Not everyone may think digging tunnels is exciting Some may even call it boring
- What did the man say after digging three holes in the yard? Well, well, well
- I thought digging tunnels would be exciting… Turns out it's boring
- A man digs 3 holes in his backyard... he steps back and says "Well... well... well..."
- Kid: I played with grandpa today! Mom *angry*: I told you not to dig in the sandbox!
- I spent some time at my Auntie's grave today. Bless her, she thinks I'm digging a pond.
- I visited my wife's grave today Bless her heart she still thinks I'm digging a pond.
- "Daddy, I don't want to see grandma!" "Shut up and keep digging!"
Uproarious Digs Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about digs you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean grave digging jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make digs pranks.
Let me tell you a little poem.
I dig
You dig
He digs
We dig
And so do they
Not a great poem, but it's very deep.
Two men are working by the side of the road...
One digs a hole and the other fills it back up.
They do this several times until an old lady, who has been watching them, comes over and asks "What in the world are you two doing?"
One of the workers replies, "We work for the city, the guy that plants the trees is off sick today."
A blond cop pulls over a blond woman...
The cop asks for license and registration. The driver says she may not have her license, she doesn't know what it looks like. The cop says,"It's small, rectangular, and has a picture of your face on it."
The driver digs around for a minute and finally comes up with a handheld mirror. She hands it to the cop.
The cop says,"Oh, why didn't you tell me you were a police officer?! You're free to go!"
The great thing about Joan Rivers is
No matter who digs her up in a thousand years time, she'll always look surprised to see them.
o**... Misgivings
Q: How can you tell if your date really digs o**... s**...?
A: She hikes up her skirt every time you yawn.
City workers
A passerby noticed a couple of city workers digging holes along the sidewalks.
The man was quite impressed with their hard work, but couldn't figure out what they were doing.
Finally, he approached the workers and asked, I appreciate how hard you're both working, but what the heck are you doing? One of you digs a hole, and the other guy immediately fills it back up again with dirt.
One of the workers explained: The guy who plants the trees called in sick today.
An Irish, a Scot and an English man are digging.....
in their back gardens. 12 feet down the English man finds copper wire. In the local paper he announces England had internet 200 years ago.
The Scots mon finds wire at 16 feet and announces Scotland had internet 300 years ago.
The Irish man digs 22 feet! but finds nothing and states in the paper. 400 years ago Ireland had wireless.
An English guys digs the ground 100 feet...
and finds telephone wires, he says this proves that we had telephone 100 years ago. An American guy digs 200 feet and finds telephone wires, he says this proves we had telephone 200 years ago. A Turkish guy, digs the ground 2000 feet and finds nothing, he says this proves that we had cell phones 2000 years ago.
What's the difference between an archeologist and an ex girlfriend?
The ancient stuff the archeologist digs up is useful.
A short poem
Imma tell you a short poem.
it goes something like this.
------------------------------------------------------
"I dig.
You dig.
He digs.
she digs.
We dig.
they dig."
------------------------------------
Now the poem is not really good, but its quite *deep*.
I wrote a poem
I dig
You dig
She digs
He digs
They dig
We dig
Okay so it's not the best poem, but it's very deep!
"Dad, I'm a lesbian"
"That's okay", says her dad "We still have your sister."
"Sorry dad", says his second daughter "I'm lesbian, too"
Their father sighs: "So nobody here digs men?"
"I still do!" calls his son.
A man is waiting for a bus, when he sees a blonde across the street digging a hole...
...and another blonde immediately filling the hole back in with dirt. He watches as they move up the street doing this over and over again. The first blonde digs a hole, and the second one fills the dirt right back in. After a few minutes, he decides to ask them "excuse me, what are you ladies doing?"
"We're working" the first blonde replies.
"Just the two of you?" He inquires.
"Well" the second blonde chimes in, "there's usually three of us, but the girl that plants the trees called out sick"
My friend started a company that digs rocks and minerals..
He's just mining his own business.
My cousin thinks it's i**... to have s**... with someone who digs for coal.
She says it's against the law to be with a miner.
A Mans walking in a cemetery and he hears this noise...
It sounded like someone was using a eraser. He walks towards a grave and it gets louder. So he digs up the casket and sees Mozart Erasing all of his music,and the man says "Mozart what are you doing!" Then Mozart says "I'm decomposing"
I introduced a miner to some heavy metal.
The Miner really digs the music.
So a graverobber decides to dig up Mozart,
He digs down, opens the coffin, and finds, not a dead body but a very old Mozart rapidly erasing music sheets. The grave robber says "Mozart, is that you? What are you doing?" Mozart responds, "I'm decomposing."
A blonde cop pulls over a blonde driver
The cop tells the driver "License please."
"What is a license?" the driver answers.
The cop replies "it goes in your wallet, has a picture of you on it..."
As the blonde driver digs through her purse, after a while she pulls an object out, looks at it for a second, smiles, says "Found it! Here you go officer!" and hands a mirror to the cop.
The cop takes off her aviators, looks in the mirror, rolls her eyes, and hands it back to the driver.
"If I knew you were a cop, I wouldn't have pulled you over!"
I dig, you dig, we dig.
He digs, she digs, they dig.
It's certainly not the most beautiful poem in the world, but it's incredibly deep.
What does someone with a history or violence who digs up coal, and an 11 year old who swears at you during online hames have in common?
They're both offensive minors.
Three construction workers.
Three construction workers were at a jobsite one day when there was no port-a-p**..., the first worker grabs a shovel out of a truck and digs a hole, the second one disappeared, the third one finds the second one on top of a pole with his pants down reading a newspaper. The second worker says to the third hey buddy I found a shitpost .
What do you call a pirate that digs for fossils?
An Arrrr-cheologist
I dig, you dig, he digs, she digs we dig, they dig.
It's not a long poem, but it's deep.
And, that is the hole poem.
No one digs a well at the top of a hill.
What the h**... were Jack and Jill really doing up there?
A bus filled with politicians is speeding down a country road when it swerves into a field and hits a tree.
The farmer who owns the field and tree comes out to investigate. Then he digs a hole and buries the politicians. A few days later the sheriff drives by and sees the bus. He goes and gets the farmer and asks him where the politicians are. He says he buried them. The sheriff asks if they were all dead. The farmer says, "Some of them were but some of them were trying to tell me they weren't. But you know how politicians lie!"
A thief steals trigonometric functions sin and cos.
A thief steals trigonometric functions sin and cos, the police are now after him, he goes to a beach and digs up some mud, he first puts sin over cos but he doesn't want tan so he puts cos over sin and gets cot by police.
Racing a bear
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guy drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guy says, 'What are you doing? Sneakers won't help you outrun that bear.' 'I don't need to outrun the bear,' the first guy says. 'I just need to outrun you.'
A prisoner digs a hole out of jail....
.... and ends up in a toddler playground
and yells "I'm free! I'm free!"
and a kids walks up and says "So big deal, I'm four!"
A blonde woman is speeding down an empty road when she's pulled over by a blonde cop. The cop walks up to her window and asks for her driver's license.
Driver's license? the blonde driver asks, somewhat confused.
You know, the little rectangle with your face on it that you keep in your purse, the blonde cop explains patiently.
Oh, that! the blonde driver exclaims. She digs around in her purse and finally pulls out a small rectangular mirror, which she hands to the blonde cop.
The blonde cop looks at the mirror and exclaims, Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am, you're free to go…I didn't realize you were a cop!
A woman is walking in a park when she sees two men working.
One man digs a hole, the other fills it back in. The two men go to another spot, the first man digs another hole, and the second man fills it back in. They then go to another spot. Again, the first man digs a hole and the second man fills it back in. They keep doing this for a while until finally the woman walks up to them and asks, "Why do you guys keep digging holes and then filling them back in?"
One of the men responds, "Well, there's usually a third guy who puts in the tree, but he's sick today.
Old Man VS KGB
An old man somewhere in the Soviet Union's has dug his vase. Early in the morning two KGB officers show up at his place and ask him about his vase. He swears to God that he hasn't got any food.
Then they give him a shovel and point at the place to dig.
He digs the vase.
"Huh you silly old man. What's this? What are you hiding in it?"
"I ain't hiding anything" says he and opens the vase. It is just as empty as he said.
"You old man, I don't understand this. Why did you dig this vase into the ground then?"
"Well..." starts the old man "I had a new neighbor moving in and I was curious if is he a snitch"
