Digging Jokes
146 digging jokes and hilarious digging puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about digging that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with these hilarious digging jokes ranging from topics like grave digging, dog digging, gold digging, ditch digging, and well digging! Enjoy the irony and amusement of the absurdity of digging and burying with these jokes sure to make even the toughest excavator smile.
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Funniest Digging Short Jokes
Short digging jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The digging humour may include short digs jokes also.
- I dig, she dig, we dig, he dig, they dig, you dig .. It's not a beautiful poem but it's really deep.
- I was digging a hole in my backyard when I found a box filled with gold. I was so excited that I ran inside to tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging the hole in the first place.
- Spent over an hour at the wife's grave this morning. Bless her, she thinks I'm digging a pond.
- I wrote a poem. I dig.
You dig.
She digs.
He digs.
They dig.
We dig.
Now I know it's not a very good poem, but it's pretty deep. - There's a new goth dating app called graveyard. Instead of liking someone, you dig them.
(putting the romance back in necromance.) - What Ricky Gervais said after taking some digs at fat people at a show "I don't want fat people to feel uncomfortable at my gigs. So next time, buy two seats"
- I was digging in the garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run inside and tell my wife. But then I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden.
- If it takes 6 men 6 days to dig 6 holes, how long does it take one man to dig half a hole? There is no such thing as a half a hole. It's just a hole.
- I told my wife that what she's wearing isn't appropriate for gardening. But..she's digging in her heels.
- Did you hear about the archeologist who accidentally destroyed his dig site? His career is in ruins.
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Digging One Liners
Which digging one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with digging? I can suggest the ones about digger and burying.
- I dig, you dig, he digs, she digs we dig, they dig. It's not a long poem, but it's deep.
- "Dad, I don't want to go visit Grandma" "Shut up, and keep digging"
- I spent a few hours by my wife's grave today. She thinks I'm digging a pond.
- But daaaad, I don't wanna go see grandma... "Son, shut up and keep digging,!"
- Spent an hour by my wife's grave God bless her soul, she thinks I'm digging a koi pond.
- Do y'all have any jokes about shovels? I really dig those types of jokes.
- Mommy mommy I dont wanna see grandma! Mom: Shut up and keep digging.
- Not everyone may think digging tunnels is exciting Some may even call it boring
- What did the man say after digging three holes in the yard? Well, well, well
- I thought digging tunnels would be exciting… Turns out it's boring
- A man digs 3 holes in his backyard... he steps back and says "Well... well... well..."
- Kid: I played with grandpa today! Mom *angry*: I told you not to dig in the sandbox!
- I spent some time at my Auntie's grave today. Bless her, she thinks I'm digging a pond.
- I visited my wife's grave today Bless her heart she still thinks I'm digging a pond.
- "Daddy, I don't want to see grandma!" "Shut up and keep digging!"
Digging Holes Jokes
Here is a list of funny digging holes jokes and even better digging holes puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A prisoner digs a hole out of jail.... .... and ends up in a toddler playground
and yells "I'm free! I'm free!"
and a kids walks up and says "So big deal, I'm four!" - My mom said she's going to dig a hole in the garden and fill it full of water.... ....she means well
- While digging a hole today I found a bunch of old gold coins. I ran in to tell my wife.
Then I remembered why I was digging a hole. - I dig, you dig, he digs, she digs we dig, they dig. It's not a long poem, but it's deep.
And, that is the hole poem. - How to catch an elephant Dig a big hole
Fill it with ashes
Sprinkle peas on top
When the elephant goes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole. - Just hurt my wrists digging a hole between two koi ponds. I think it's carpal tunnel.
- I got a job digging holes. It's well boring.
- How do you get a dishwasher to dig a hole? Give the woman a shovel!
- How to catch a polar bear First, you dig a hole in the ice,
then you sprinkle peas around the hole
When a polar bear bends down to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole! - I was gonna dig a deep hole... ... but it turned out well.
Well Digging Jokes
Here is a list of funny well digging jokes and even better well digging puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- ...well darn I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
- I'm thinking about digging a hole to get some water It's going well
- So there's apparently been over 200, well preserved tibia excavated in the area surrounding the great pyramid in Egypt... sources say it was a real shin dig.
- I'm really good at digging underground to find sources of water. You could say it's something I do well.
- Two clowns were crying near the circus A passer-by asks them why are they crying.
"Well, the elephant has died"
"And you loved him so much?"
"No, but they've put us to dig his grave" - No one digs a well at the top of a hill. What the h**... were Jack and Jill really doing up there?
- I walked into the lawn and saw my father digging a deep hole There was still water at the base of the hole.
What the h**... is that dad?
Well, son
Yes dad?
Grave Digging Jokes
Here is a list of funny grave digging jokes and even better grave digging puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If someone tried to make me dig my own grave I would say no. They're going to kill me anyway and I'd love to die the way I lived : avoiding manual labor.
- Excuse me, do you like graves? Yeah, I dig 'em.
- I knew a man who had the brain of Einstein... He was also wanted for grave digging.
- I got a job digging graves, I don't know how, I just fell into it.
- Did you hear about the guy who died while digging a hole for a coffin? It was a grave excavation.
- People ask me why I like the graveyard so much. I dig the graves.
- I dug my wife's grave today. Poor gal thinks I was digging a pond.
- What did murderers say in the 70's? I dig your grave, man
- Extremely controversial, but here goes... Why can't you try someone for grave digging?
Because it was found on the ground. - Did you hear about the Polish Admiral who wanted to be buried at sea when he died? Five sailors died digging his grave.
Gold Digging Jokes
Here is a list of funny gold digging jokes and even better gold digging puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was digging in the woods and found a chest filled with gold coins I ran back home excitedly to tell my wife the good news.
Then I remembered why I was digging in the woods. - I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins Excited, I was about to run indoors to tell the wife, but then I remembered why I was digging in the garden...
- I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
- I pulled a muscle digging for gold... It's just a miner injury.
- I went digging for gold but didn't find anything It was a miner frustration
- After years of digging, a gold prospector finally found a small amount of a precious metal It was a miner success.
- I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging our garden in the first place
- So I was digging in the garden and found a gold chest I ran inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging
- What algorithm does Amber Heard use to dig for gold? Depp First Search.
- While digging a hole in the backyard I discovered a box full of gold coins! Excited I went inside to tell my wife... But then I remembered why I was digging the hole.
Digging Hole Jokes
Here is a list of funny digging hole jokes and even better digging hole puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How to catch an elephant Dig a hole big enough for an elephant. Fill it with loose ash and cover it with frozen peas as bait. Then when he comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ash-hole.
- When the kids said they were going to dig a hole to China . . . I warned them that it would be boring.
- My dog kept digging holes in the back yard... ..so I hide all the shovels
- How do you capture a polar bear? 1. Dig a hole in the ice.
2. Place a bunch of peas around the hole
3. When the bear comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole. - How to trap a Bear. 1.) Dig a Hole.
2.) Put Peas around the Hole.
3.) Put ashes inside the Hole.
4.) When the Bear comes to take a Pea Kick him in the ash hole. - Q: How do you capture a polar bear? A: You dig a hole in the snow and set peas around it. When the bear comes to take a pea you kick it in the ice hole
- How do you catch an elephant? First you dig a big hole and fill it with ashes. Next you put peas around the hole. When it comes to take a pea you kick it in the ash hole.
- How do you catch an elephant? You dig a pit, fill it with ash, and surround it with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, you sneak up behind him and kick him in the ash hole.
- I have a story about digging holes... But you probably wouldn't enjoy it because it's just boring
- How is digging fence post holes like being the mayor of Toronto? It goes pretty smoothly until you start hitting the rock.
Amusing & Witty Digging Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about digging you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean grave digger jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make digging pranks.
A woman visits her husband in prison
Before leaving, she tells a correction officer:
"You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted!"
The officer laughs, saying:
"Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his own cell!"
"b**...! He just told me he's been digging a tunnel for months!"
A two person plane crashes into a cemetery.
Police have released a statement saying that its the worse tragedy they have seen in years. So far they have found over 600 dead with fears of the number increasing as digging continues in the morning.
Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning
when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.
What's a necrophilic pirate's favorite activity?
Digging for b**....
"The total cost would be £3000," said the f**... director.
"And that includes digging the grave."
"Is that the whole thing?" I asked.
He replied, "Yes, that's the hole thing."
Bury the dead!
One day little Timmy is in his back yard digging a hole. His neighbor, seeing him there, decides to investigate. "Whatcha doin?" he asked.
Timmy replies, "My goldfish died and I'm burying him."
"That's an awful big hole for a goldfish, ain't it?" asked the neighbor.
Timmy shot back, "That's because he's inside your f**...' cat!!!"
How do you trap an elephant?
Start by digging a big hole in the ground then fill it with ashes. Take some peanuts and place them around the edge of the hole. When the elephant comes to eat the peanuts, kick him in the ash-hole.
There were 2 blondes...
So I was sat on my porch one day and I saw 2 blondes working hard at the end of the street. One was digging a hole and the other would fill it in immediately after the first was done. This went on for about 2 hours until I walked over and said "Hey, you two are working pretty hard there, but I don't understand what you are trying to achieve?"
To which one of the blondes replied "Well there's usually 3 of us, but the one who plants the trees is off sick today".
Digging tunnels is the most boring thing on Earth.
An Irish, a Scot and an English man are digging.....
in their back gardens. 12 feet down the English man finds copper wire. In the local paper he announces England had internet 200 years ago.
The Scots mon finds wire at 16 feet and announces Scotland had internet 300 years ago.
The Irish man digs 22 feet! but finds nothing and states in the paper. 400 years ago Ireland had wireless.
Potato Patch
An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son Fred, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Fred, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over I know you would dig the plot for me. Love, Dad
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Dad, For heaven's sake, don't dig up that garden! That's where I buried the BODIES! Love, Fred
At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love, Fred
Private Investigator
"Mr. Johnson, I've been doing some digging, and your wife has been having s**... with another man for about two weeks."
"What?! My wife died three weeks ago."
"Yeah. I SAID I've been doing some digging."
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Credit to MrProsserDreamsOfWar
Visiting grandma (n**...)
Mommy, mommy, I don't want to visit grandma today!
"Shut up and keep digging, boy."
Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery
A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.
A grave digger...
A grave digger hears a story about how Mozart had an unfinished song folded up in his coat pocket when he was buried.
The grave digger goes to the cemetery where Mozart was buried, and starts digging at the composer's grave.
The grave digger hits the coffin.
The grave digger opens the coffin, and sees Mozart holding the unfinished piece, and erasing each note on at a time.
The grave digger yells, "What are you doing?!"
Mozart responds with, "Decomposing."
Breaking news
This morning saw what will probably become the worst air disaster in the Midwest. An ultralight single-seater plane crashed into a cemetery in Stockholm, Wisconsin. So far, the search and rescue teams have recovered 1736 bodies and as the digging continues into the night, we can only expect that number to climb.
My Exgirlfriend Was An Archaeologist.
She loved digging up the past.
What do you call a child that's good at digging?
A minor
MOMMY MOMMY, I DONT WANT TO VISIT GRAMPA!
Shut up and keep digging...
A man is waiting for a bus, when he sees a blonde across the street digging a hole...
...and another blonde immediately filling the hole back in with dirt. He watches as they move up the street doing this over and over again. The first blonde digs a hole, and the second one fills the dirt right back in. After a few minutes, he decides to ask them "excuse me, what are you ladies doing?"
"We're working" the first blonde replies.
"Just the two of you?" He inquires.
"Well" the second blonde chimes in, "there's usually three of us, but the girl that plants the trees called out sick"
I just found out that Archeologist were recently digging in the pyramid of Egypt and found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts.
Experts on site identified the mummy as Pharaoh Roche.
A farmer gets a call from his son in prison...
They talk for a bit. The farmer mentions that times have been hard with his son not around, and that he's getting too old to dig up the field. The son responds back, "DAD! NO! That's where all of the bodies are hidden!" The FBI swarms the farm, digging up every inch of the field and the son calls back the next day, "Hey dad, that's the best I can do."
Seeing my ex for the first time in months left me with just one thought...
I wish the neighbour's dog would stop digging up my garden…
For my graduating class' 20th reunion, we're digging up our time capsule from freshman year
I cant wait to see how big my dog Sparky got
BREAKING NEWS!
Archaeologists digging in a pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate & hazelnuts, and believe it to be Pharoah Rocher.
A prisoner spends years digging a tunnel out of jail ...
He comes up inside a preschool yard. He starts jumping up and down and screaming "I'm free!! I'm free!!"
A little kid tugs on his pants. The prisoner looks down and the kid says nonchalantly: "So what? I'm four."
I had been digging for a long time today.
Down in the hole I found a box full of Silver coins!
In the excitement I ran back indoors to tell my wife.
Then I remembered why I was digging the hole...
Why are women so good at being Archaeologists?
Because women love digging up the past.
Two blondes were walking through the park digging holes and filling them up again.
One of them would dig the holes, and the other would fill them up. One man couldn't control his curiosity and asked the blondes why they were digging and filling holes pointlessly, to which one replied:
"Well, there was supposed to be another one of us planting saplings before we fill the holes, but she couldn't come so we'll have to make do without her."
I would never date an archeologist.
I don't think I could deal with someone digging up the past all the time.
What's wrong with female archeologists?
They date everything they see
And they love digging up the past
Newsflash! A small, 2-seat aircraft crashed in a graveyard in Poland.
Rescuers have found 115 dead so far and expect to find hundreds more as they continue digging.
One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his back yard.
The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate.
"Hello Johnny, what are you up to?" he asked.
"My goldfish died and I'm gonna bury him," Johnny replied.
"That's a really big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" asked the neighbor.
"That's because he's inside your cat!"
A boy was digging a hole in his yard
The neighbor walks up to him and asks why he's digging a hole.
And the boy says "My goldfish died."
The neighbor replied "Oh, I'm so sorry. That hole looks awfully big for a goldfish, though."
The boy turns around at the neighbor and says "Oh, I know. It's because my fish was in your cat."
I bet in 2000 years they're gonna be digging up the rubble of our destroyed earth and they'll find a Nokia still on half battery.
a lady visits her husband in a prison
A lady visits her husband in a prison. After talking to him she talks to a prison administrator:
"Shouldn't my husband be treated better? All this hard work he has to do!"
"What hard work?" asks the administrator "he's a librarian here."
"Well," replies the lady, "he was telling me something about digging a tunnel every night..."
3 moles are digging underground in a single-file line.
The first mole stops digging and says, I smell syrup!
The second mole lifts up its head and says, I smell honey!
The mole in the back yells, I smell mole-a**...!
I was digging up our garden when I found a box full of old rare coins. I was really excited so I ran inside to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging up our garden.
Joke translated to English from German
A blonde is driving home when she gets pulled over by a police officer.
"Mam, may i see you driving license?!"
"What's a driving license? "
"You know this thing in your purse with your face on..."
She starts digging through her purse, finds her cosmetic mirror, and hands it over to the policeman.
The policeman takes a look at the mirror and responds-
"Should have told me right away your a police officer too "
A team of Swiss archaeologists discovered a new tomb in the middle of the Egyptian desert
They uncovered the tomb, and entered its dark cobweb-filled caverns. After digging and digging, they reached the center of the tomb, a burial chamber filled with treasures.
And at the center of the chamber, a sarcophagus made of pure gold. And once they opened it, they found an unnamed body, in pristine condition, surrounded by a curious combination of chocolate, hazelnuts and wafers.
They decided to call him Pharoah Rocher.
An old farmer wrote to his son in prison:
This year I wont be able to
plant potatoes because I cant dig the field. I know if you were here
you would help me The son wrote back: Dad don't even think of
digging the field because that's where I buried the money I stole
Police read the letter and the very next day the whole field was dug
by police looking for the money but nothing was found.
The next day the son wrote again:
Now plant your potatoes dad; it's the best I can do from here.
A Soviet archeology team is in Egypt on an expedition.
After some digging, they found a pyramid and a mummy inside it. Unfortunately, they can't determine who the mummy is. They get in touch with the NKVD who arrive a few hours later in the form of three hulking men carrying briefcases. The NKVD goons go inside the pyramid. After a few hours they come out.
"The mummy is Amenhotep XIII" says one of the NKVD goons.
"How did you find out?" asks one of the archeologists.
"He admitted it", replies the NKVD goon.
A small airplane crashes into the ground in a small town, and some curious locals go to the c**... site to see what happened.
Some of the locals start digging to see if there are any survivors trapped in the plane.
A few hours in, they give up the search and one of the locals goes back to his house and tells his wife what happened.
He tells his wife that there were over 1000 bodies found in the c**... site, but no survivors were found.
Oh my god, where did it c**...? the wife asked in shock.
In the town cemetery. the husband replied.
John the archaeologist is digging under a theatre and discovers 5 pots of gold coins...
Ecstatic, he tells his lead archaeologist
"Graham, I've found 3 pots of gold coins!"
"What's that John? You've found 2 pots of gold coins?"
"That's what I said, a whole p**... of gold coins!"
An old farmer writes his son...
An old farmer writes his son (who is in prison) a letter and he tells his son that he won't be planting potatoes this year because there is no way he can dig up the field by himself. His son writes back and tells his his dad that there's no way he can dig up the field cause that's where he hid all the money he stole. Well, the cops read that letter and the next day the cops sure dug up that field good and proper. The same day the cops got to digging, the son writes his dad again telling his dad to go ahead and plant his potatoes and that is the best he can do from in here.
A woman is walking in a park when she sees two men working.
One man digs a hole, the other fills it back in. The two men go to another spot, the first man digs another hole, and the second man fills it back in. They then go to another spot. Again, the first man digs a hole and the second man fills it back in. They keep doing this for a while until finally the woman walks up to them and asks, "Why do you guys keep digging holes and then filling them back in?"
One of the men responds, "Well, there's usually a third guy who puts in the tree, but he's sick today.
A prisoner has been digging up a tunnel under his cell for years
One day he while he was digging he saw the light, he reached the end of tunnel and ended up in a kindergarten playground
"I'm free, I'm free!" shouted the escaped prisoner
"so what? I'm four" said one of the toddlers
Why does the proctologist keep buying new TV remotes?
Digging through the couch just feels like work.
A prisoner spent a month digging an escape tunnel and finally came out in the playground of a preschool.
He jumped around with excitement yelling "I'm free, I'm free". A small girl looked up at him and said, "Big b**... deal, I'm four".
A man is digging in his garden…
When out of nowhere he finds very old coins that are worth a fortune. He gets so excited he runs into his house to tell the p**... he hired and then he remembered why he was digging in the first place.
My ex should be a geologist
She keeps on digging up the past
I wanted to find out more about my ancestors so I did a little digging and...
...got thrown out of the cemetery.
My wife and I had this long argument about the appropriate thing to wear when gardening.
But..she kept digging in her heels.
A blonde woman visits her husband in prison.
Before leaving, she tells a correction officer: You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted!
The officer laughs and says, Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his cell!
The wife replies: Bullsht! He just told me he's been digging a tunnel for months!
So Fred has accidentally cut off John's ear with his s**....
John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his s**... and cut off John's ear.
"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it they can sew it back on."
After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is", handing the ear to John.
"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back in the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it."
A family of moles wake up from hibernation.
They start digging up to the surface to get some air and stretch their legs. When they arrive, there's a layer of concrete that wasn't there before. They dig around the concrete and Papa mole pokes his head out and smells fresh pancakes.
Oh, they must have built a pancake house up there! It smells great!
Mama mole, right behind Papa, sniffs and says, Oh wow, the syrups smell delicious!
Baby mole, in the hole behind both Papa and Mama says Yuck! All I can smell are molasses from back here!
