The Best 27 Digest Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Digest jokes. There are some digest readers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these digest readers digest puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Digest Jokes and Puns
A hungry lion roamed through the jungle looking for his next meal when he came upon two men.
One man was sitting under a tree reading a book. The other man was writing in a notebook. The lion quickly pounced in the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that reader's digest and writers cramp.
A woman is going through the checkout line the night before Valentine's day
A woman is going through the checkout line the night before Valentine's day. She is placing her items on the belt: a TV dinner, a soap opera digest, 3 bottles of wine, and 3 chocolate bars.
The clerk looks and her and says "I hate Valentines Day...what about you, you must be single right?"
"Yeah" she responds, "how did you know? Was it the stuff I'm buying?"
"Nah, you're ugly"
The air hostess comes to know that the old married couple is...
flying to Hawaii on their 50th marriage anniversary.
She asks them how it feels to be married for so long.
The old man replies: "It all felt like 5 minutes..."
The air hostess was about to reply on the profoundness of what he said, when he earned a slap from the old lady for his next word:
"...underwater".
--Taken from All in a day's work; Reader's digest
Just finished the book Eating for Dummies
Boy was it hard to digest
This might be hard for some people to digest...
Dairy.
Roaming Zombie
A zombie was roaming through the woods looking for something to eat.
He came across two men - one sitting under a tree and reading a book, & the other typing away on his typewriter.
The zombie quickly pounced on the man reading the book and started to devour him.
Because even a brain dead zombie knows that readers digest and writers cramp.
An inspector arrives at murder scene of an obese man by a cannibal
It was a lot to digest
The Age Factor
(Taken from Reader's Digest Year:1998)
Even though she's been teaching English for 25 years, my mother never felt her age was an issue, until the day she helped a student with a report on the Vietnam War. Mom recognised the name of a war correspondent mentioned in the textbook and blurted, "I used to date him!"
Peering up from his work, another wide-eyed student asked, "You dated someone from our history book?"
Read this on an anniversary special edition of Reader's Digest
Julius Caesar was coming out of a fast food restaurant when Brutus bumped into him and asked,"How are the burgers, Julius?
Julius replied, "Ate two, Brute!"
Why do cannibals hang out in libraries?
Because Readers Digest
My Grandmother got involved with a younger man
So my grand mother got involved with a younger man.
27 years old.
My family was outraged; they couldn't digest it.
But I don't think it's fair. I mean, love is blind...
So what if he dug her out?
You can explore digest ingest reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean digest digestion dad jokes. There are also digest puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat.
He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter.
The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him.
Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.
My dad was always obsessed with puns
So when Reader's Digest held an unfunny joke/pun contest (in which they offered to pay any pun-tender $100 for each submitted 'joke' they published), my dad submitted 10 hoping that at least one would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Password Savvy
Scene: A bar.
**Me:** What's the WiFi password?
**Bartender:** You need to buy a drink first.
**Me:** OK, I'll have a Coke.
**Bartender:** Three Dollars.
**Me:** There you go. So what's the WiFi password?
**Bartender:** "You need to buy a drink first." No spaces, all lowercase.
(Seen in a Reader's Digest mag.)
So there's a new saliva cell...
...and he's kind of panicky because he can't figure out how to digest a starch molecule.
But then good guy Mr.Enzyme comes along and says "Let me break it down for you."
Eat Marshmallow and Digest a Pillow
I dreamt I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone.
What do you call the outcome of someone reading a book on the toilet?
Reader's Digest.
What's Boba Fett's favorite magazine?
Sarlacc Digest.
What was the preferred magazine of the bear that hung out behind the library?
Digest Readers.
So there was a contest going on in Reader's Digest.
It was a pun contest, and as I thought myself to be a pretty funny guy, I decided to enter. I spent several hours thinking of them, and I ended up submitting 10 of them to the magazine. When the results came out, I was crushed, I totally thought that I was going to win, but no pun in ten did.
If CRIPSR becomes commercialized, there should be a magazine that advertises its genetic-altering capabilities
And one day, we'll all have a subscription to Breeder's Digest.
Amy Schumer and a dyslexic vegan are eating a cannibal...
The vegan turns to Amy and says "this is more meta than I can digest"
Thinking of starting a magazine detailing the contents of various famous authors' stomachs...
...I think I'll call it Reader's Digest.
My doctor told me I should be on a staple diet.
I told him I don't think I can digest metal and walked out.
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
After extensive marketing research the Colonel concluded that the franchise would benefit from better traffic patterns on the other side of the intersection.
(from my grandmother's Reader's Digest circa 1988)
My baker told me he's been adding sawdust to his flour
This is a lot to digest.
They say it takes 7 years to digest swallowed chewing gum.
Yet somehow, I'm still hungry.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the digest neanderthal jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working digest reader digest piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.