The Best 94 Difficult Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Difficult jokes. There are some difficult grueling jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these difficult progressively puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Difficult Jokes and Puns
I am trying to organize a professional Hide and Seek tournament, but it is turning out to be really difficult.
Good players are hard to find.
I was at the bar last night...
I was at the bar last night and had a few drinks. I knew it was unsafe to take my car home so I took a bus. This was really difficult for me; I've never driven a bus before.
Wrong Email
A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: 16 May 2003
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is not as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!
Request: Jokes for my five year old son
My son is starting to get into jokes and it's surprisingly difficult to find joke books that are appropriate for his age. Most recycle old jokes with outdated references that he doesn't even understand. Some of the references are so musty I don't even get them. Does anyone have good jokes/riddles I can pass along?
I lost both my legs below the knee in an accident...
... and for years, no matter how hard my friends and family tried to convince me, I fought on without prosthetic replacements.
In the end it became just too difficult, so I finally accepted defeat.
I've got a job defusing landmines.
It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.
A Mother's Day joke.
A recruit at a police academy is asked some difficult questions when it comes to the job. He is asked,
"If you pulled over your mother, and had to arrest her, what would you do?"
The recruit replies, "I'd call for backup"
Why is it difficult to explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
Because they take everything literally.
Just after the apartheid ...
A bus company's owner explain to his drivers that if they find it difficult to see people as equal they just have to consider there are no more black and white people, only blue.
So, this driver explained it to its passengers :
"Ok guys, you're not black or white anymore. Only blue. So light blue get the front seats, dark blue the rear."
I was reading a book on Anti-Gravity
I found it difficult to put down.
Ebola causes headaches, feelings of nausea and is very difficult to get rid of.
Is it a virus or a free U2 album?
You can explore difficult complacent reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean difficult hypothetical dad jokes. There are also difficult puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why is it so difficult for women to find a man who is sensitive, caring, and good looking?
All of those guys already have boyfriends.
The Mystery of Childbirth
A boy is writing a paper on childbirth and asks his parents, "How was I born?"
His mother awkwardly answers, "The stork brought you."
"Oh," says the boy. "Well, how were you and Daddy born?"
"Oh, the stork brought us, too, and Grandpa and Grandma."
The boy begins his paper, "This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."
There was an International Job opening.
Two men applied, a Canadian man, and an American. After the test and the interview, they company decided to go with the Canadian man. The American with distraught asked why they decided to hire the Canadian and how he did in the interview and test. They said it was a very difficult decision because they both did equally well on the test and in the interview. The American was outraged. "THEN WHY DID YOU HIRE THE CANADIAN?!?." The manager then responded, "Well, you both did equally well in the interview, but the real problem was the test. You both got 9/10 on the test, but for question 10, the Canadian man put 'I don't know' and you put 'me neither.'"
Shout out to my Math Teacher for telling me this one.
Being cross-eyed has made it difficult for me to stay in monogamous relationships
Sometimes when I'm seeing a girl I can't help but also see someone else on the side
Dean of Women...
The Dean of Women at an exclusive girls' school was lecturing her students on sexual morality.
We live today in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation, she said, ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?
A young woman rose in the back of the room and said, Excuse me, but how do you make it last an hour?
All I got for Christmas was a pack of sticky cards.
It was difficult to deal with.
"What is inflation?" asked the CA's wife
"Initially you were 36-24-36, and now you're 48-40-48. So technically, you have more than you had earlier, but your value is less than earlier. THIS IS INFLATION"
Economics is not so difficult if we have the right examples.
Why is it difficult to make fun of the Large Hadron Collider?
Because it's hard to discern.
It's not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart.
One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later.
Many times when I am troubled or confused...
Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in sitting in my back yard and having a vodka Martini along with a quiet conversation with Jesus.
This happened to me again after a particularly difficult day. I said "Jesus, why do I work so hard?"
And I heard the reply: "Men find many ways to demonstrate the love they have for their family. You work hard to have a peaceful, beautiful place for your friends and family to gather."
I said: "I thought that money was the root of all evil."
And the reply was: "No, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Money is a tool; it can be used for good or bad".
I was starting to feel better, but I still had that one burning question, so I asked it. "Jesus," I said, "what is the meaning of life? Why am I here?"
He replied: "That is a question many men ask. The answer is in your heart and is different for everyone. I would love to chat with you some more, Señor, but for now, I have to finish your lawn."
A masked man goes into a sperm bank.
A masked man goes into a sperm bank, points a gun at the woman behind the counter, and says,
Open the safe.
She says, This isn't a real bank; it's a sperm bank.
He says, Open the safe or I'll shoot.
She opens the safe, and he says, Now take one of the bottles and drink it.
After she opens the bottle and drinks it, he takes off his mask and the woman realizes the robber is
her husband.
He says, Now you see? It's not so difficult, is it?
I've just taken my sausages back to the butchers...
There was only a tiny bit of pork in the middle, the left and right sides were just pure breadcrumbs.
The butcher apologised and said that he was suffering financially, business was tough and he was finding it increasingly difficult to make ends meat.
Why is it difficult to punish vampires?
They can't reflect on what they've done.
An old man goes to confession..
An old German man goes to confession one Sunday. He enters the confession, sits down and says "Forgive me Father for I have sinned, and I want to confess". The Priest says "Well my child, what are your sins?". The old man responds "During the war I hid a young Jewish woman from the Nazis in return for sexual favours". The Priest, while surprised, says "It was a difficult time, you risked your life to help this woman despite the immoral exchange". "I understand that father" the old man says "But, do you think I should tell her the war is over?".
Courtesy of my Dad!
Riding a horse can be difficult. You could always choose to ride a mule instead...
but that would be half-assed.
What do you call a Cult that is hard to get into?
Difficult
There are 2 truly difficult problems in Computer Science
0: Naming things
1: Cache invalidation
2: Off by one errors
Why am I against Donald Trump's wall idea?
It will make fleeing to Mexico more difficult when he ruins our country.
Some people think it's difficult to live with Erectile Dysfunction
But really, it's not that hard.
How difficult is it to live with erectile dysfunction?
It turns out, it's not very hard at all
My mother never attempted to wean me off of breast feeding. Just cut me off entirely one day...
...as if that first year of college wasn't difficult enough.
Organic chemistry is difficult
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble
Why is it difficult to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?
Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get the message.
Kanye West was hospitalized...
Our thoughts and prayers go out to the hospital staff at this difficult time.
Noticing a woman sitting alone at a table in a bar...
.. a man goes over to chat with her. After talking to her for a while he makes his move.
"Stop!" says the woman as the man tries to kiss her. "I'm sorry but I'm keeping myself pure until I meet the man I truly love."
"Wow", says the man, "that must be difficult."
"It's not too bad", replied the woman. "My husband's quite upset though."
Why is teaching calculus so difficult in the South?
They hate integration
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
A bit more difficult
Most Confusing Password
I was in a couple's home trying to fix their Internet connection.
The husband called out to his wife
in the other room for the computer password. Start with a capital S, then 123, she shouted back.
We tried S123 several times, but
it didn't work. So we called the wife in. As she input the password, she muttered, I really don't know what's so difficult about typing Start123.
It was very difficult to switch off my wife's life support system.
You try fighting off 2 nurses, a doctor and my sons.
Little johnny was asking his dad
J: Dad, what's the difference between confident and confidential
D: Well, it's difficult to explain, so let me give you an example. You are my son - I'm confident about that.
J: How about confidential?
D: You see our neighbour little Timmy over there? He's my son - that's confidential
The two most difficult things in programming...
The two most difficult things in programming are memory management, naming things, and off by one errors.
Jim was lazy, but boy was he clever.
A difficult customer walked into the shop that Jim didn't want to deal with, so he grabbed a mop and pretended to clean up a mess.
The manager came over and asked him what he was doing. After telling him that he was cleaning, the manager said, "It doesn't look messy here."
To which Jim replied, "Why, thank you!"
English is a difficult language.
It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb.
Only 2, it's just really difficult getting them in the lightbulb.
I hate it when women turn off the light before having sex...
It makes it really difficult for me to see them through the window...
Why didn't the Romans find algebra very difficult?
Because X was always 10
I don't understand why guys think it's so difficult to take off a girl's bra.
I can do it with both hands behind my back!
Do not shampoo in the shower
I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner.
I used shampoo in the shower and when we wash our hair the shampoo runs down our whole body.
Printed clearly on the shampoo label is the warning,
"For extra body and volume."
No wonder I have been gaining weight.
I got rid of shampoos and start using dish washing liquid. Its label reads
"Dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove."
Follow this and stay slim and trim forever.
I find abortion to be a difficult topic.
On one hand, i am for killing babies. But on the other hand, i don't want to give woman any more rights.
Why is the most difficult phrase to pronounce if you have a lisp?
I love you
Source: my father has a lisp
I don't know why people say cancer is so difficult.
I'm already on stage 4
It's difficult to say what my wife does.
She sells seashells on the seashore
Why was the PTA meeting homicide difficult to solve?
Because it wasn't apparent who did it.
Man : 'It is really difficult to raise a family.'
Man : 'It is really difficult to raise a family.'
Necromancer: 'Not if they are buried close together.'
Man: 'What ? ... '
Necromancer: 'What ? ... '
My Doctor just advised me to quit drinking. This is going to be really difficult and a big adjustment...
I've been with this Doctor for 35 years.
Three nuns die and go to Heaven...
At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter tells them that they must each answer a biblical question to get in, but he reassures them that they're quite easy.
"Who was the first woman?" He says to the first nun.
"Eve." The gates swing open and she walks in.
"Where did Eve live?" He says to the second nun.
"The Garden of Eden." The gates swing open once more.
"Now, seeing as you're the Mother Superior, you must answer a more difficult question, what was the first thing Eve said when she saw Adam?" St. Peter says to the third nun.
"Oh, that's a hard one..."
The gates swing open.
Three nuns die in a car crash, when they get to heaven, the angel says they have to answer a question to get in
So the angel asks the first nun
Who was the first man?
And the nun replies, Adam
The angel allows her in and turns to the second nun
Who was the first woman?
The second nun answers Eve
Correct, in you go replies the angel
Then turning to the third nun the angel asks
I'm afraid this question is rather difficult. What did Eve say when she first saw Adam?
The third nun thinking says Oh, that's a hard one
Yes, you're in. Replies the angel.
I'm a glass-is-half-full kind of guy
unless that glass contains urine, in which case I find it difficult to remain optimistic.
As a fat guy, I tend to avoid wearing skinny jeans.
I find it very difficult to pull it off.
Somebody asked me recently why I took up downhill skiing
I told them uphill skiing was far too difficult
Dad, is the Fibonacci sequence difficult to understand?
No. It's as easy as 1,1,2,3...
These long quarantines have been so difficult for many marriages.
Luckily for me I have an amazing wife. Just last night I woke up to her firmly pressing a pillow against my face to protect me from Covid-19.
Been trying to organize a local hide and seek competition, but it's been quite difficult.
Good players are just hard to find.
What makes communist jokes so difficult?
You have to make sure that everyone gets them.
3 men in a nursing home are sitting and reminiscing.
First man says, I wish I could just go pee as easily when I was younger. It's getting harder and harder to do so as the years pass.
The second guy says, I can pee just fine but I would give anything to be able to poop with no trouble. It's getting more difficult even with fruits and veggies.
Last guy says, Oh, I have no problem with that. Every morning at 8:00 I just go like the Nile. Then at 8:30 I crap till everything's out. Now if only I could wake up before 9:00.
I'm tired of hearing men talk about how women make their lives more difficult. Just think about where men would be without women...
Still in the Garden of Eden.
If professionals make difficult tasks look easy, what do you call someone who makes easy tasks look difficult?
A coworker
Why is it difficult to replace Alex Trebek?
Because most people don't want to put their life in Jeopardy.
In order to get to the valves, a mechanic carefully removed the engine parts from a car while the car owner - a surgeon - looked on.
Afterwards the mechanic said to the surgeon:
'You know, I reckon my line of work is every bit as difficult and skilled as yours.'
'Perhaps,' said the surgeon, 'But I'd like to see you do it while the engine is running.'
I didn't realise how difficult it was being an electrician until I tried it myself
I was shocked
How difficult is it to get undeserved upvotes on reddit jokes?
Piece of cake
Grandfather: When I was your age, I used to go to the market with one dollar
...and bring home soap, rice, milk, bread, face powder etc..
Grandson: Nowadays it's difficult. There are CCTV cameras everywhere.
A Bar opened opposite a Mosque!
The angry congregants of the Mosque prayed daily against the business....
Days later the Bar was struck by lightning and caught fire .
The Bar owner sued the Mosque authorities for the cause , as an action by their prayer...
The Mosque denied all responsibility!
So, the judge commented:
It's difficult to decide the case because we have a Bar owner who believes in the power of prayer and an entire group of Mosque congregants that does not believe in it !!!
The case is hereby dismissed!
"Mansplain" is a terrible word to use
because it has more letters than explain and is therefore more difficult for women to understand.
What is more difficult than getting an assault rifle in the U.S.?
Getting a water bottle in a Georgia voting line
My friends and I had a competition to see what the most difficult to put on accessory was.
The end result was a tie.
I was reading a book on anti gravity last night.
I found it quite difficult to put down.
A deer enters a bar...
A deer enters a bar and sits by the bartender. "Whatever's on tap, and keep them coming. I lost a patient today."
The bartender brings over a drink and says, "That's really rough. But I've never met a deer that's a medical practitioner. How did that happen?"
The deer replied, "Well I came from a impoverished part of the forest. It was difficult to get food, difficult to get water, and difficult to find shelter. Nothing came with ease, that's for sure."
"And a deer with no ease becomes a dr."
Things that are difficult
Sometimes its hard to swallow your pride.
Unless you are a cannibal lion.
How to stay in class
A college student walks into a bar and orders a beer. "What a day. Our calculus instructor has to be one of the most difficult professors on the campus," the student says. "If she wasn't so drop-dead gorgeous I would have dropped the class already." "So I guess you could says she's easy on the eyes," the bartender says. "But hard on the pupils?"
What's the toughest cult to join..
Difficult.
My wife and I have given a lot of thought on this...
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
A college student slowly walks into a bar and orders a beer. He starts talking to the bartender.
"What a day. Our physics professor has to be one of the most difficult professors on the campus." The student complains. "If she wasn't so drop dead gorgeous I would've dropped the class already." The bartender looks at him and says "So you could say she's easy on the eyes, but hard on the pupils?"
Superstition
I was trimming my nails when my Grandfather said with a sigh "You should not cut your nails on Thursdays".
I had never adhered to these superstition but out of curiosity I asked, "What happens when I cut my nails on Thursday?"
He explained, "You see the weekend starts tomorrow Friday, Saturday and Sunday. It's difficult to open the beer cans and the Lays packs without the nails."
Moral: Some superstitions do have a scientific basis!
Metamucil changes its name to Facebookmucil
CEO admits the move was difficult, since both firms deliver crap.
Why is morning difficult in Athens?
Because dawn is tough on Greece
Saved some money on the gift, though!
I recently received an invitation to a wedding that would have been difficult to attend.
In hindsight, "Maybe next time" probably wasn't the best RSVP.
What is the most difficult animal to hunt in Africa?
The Polar bear.
Son asks his father for a gift
Son: - Dad I need a gift for my birthday
Dad: - What do you want Son
Son: - I need a Bitcoin
Dad: - What?? Why do you need $ 35K for?? You know how difficult it is to earn $ 25K dollars?? You will learn difficulty of earning $ 40K when you get a job
Why is it so difficult to work at an apple pie factory?
Because they have such a high turnover rate!
I decided to audition for the Middle Earth Church Bell Ringers Society.
It's not difficult to join, as they have but one rule to ring them all:
Toll keenly.
I told my daughter she should reconsider becoming a postal worker.
It's difficult to make it in a mail dominated industry.
I am irrationally scared of places like shopping centres, particularly if they are confusing and difficult to navigate.
I have a complex complex complex.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the difficult require jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working difficult seashore piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.