Different Jokes
118 different jokes and hilarious different puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about different that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Different Short Jokes
Short different jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The different humour may include short jokes also.
- What's the difference between a police officer and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone else, you know it's been fired
- What's the difference between donald trump and a worm? One of them is a slimy, loathsome creature incapable of complex thought, the other one actually shows up when it rains.
- What's the difference between the US Capitol and Mordor? One does not simply walk into Mordor
- What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital? I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.
- What's the difference between North Korea and the US? North Koreans can't tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can't tell if their leader is dead serious.
- What's the difference between a computer and an American? An American doesn't have trouble-shooting.
- It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub. It's a 30 minute walk from the pub to my house. The difference is staggering.
- What's the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon? I can get through a Jimmy Fallon sketch without laughing.
- What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? You only need one nail to hang the picture up.
- A colon in a sentence can make a huge difference For example:
Johnny ate his own lunch after school.
Johnny ate his own colon after school.
Share These Different Jokes With Friends
Different One Liners
Which different one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with different? I can suggest the ones about and .
- What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig? The letter F.
- What's the difference between Donald Trump and a bird? A bird can still tweet.
- What's the difference between grey and gray? One is a color, and the other is a colour.
- What's the difference between an Indian and an African elephant? One's an elephant.
- What's the difference between Elon Musk and God? God doesn't think he's Elon Musk.
- What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? Can't milk a cow for 21 years.
- What is the difference between a dollar and a ruble ? A dollar.
- What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato? About 140 calories.
- Man 1: I have a half sister. Man 2: Different father? Man 1: No, shark attack.
- what is the difference between a seal and a sea lion? An electron.
- What's the difference between Mariah Carey and Marie Curie? One glitters, the other glows
- What's the difference between religion and mythology? A few hundred years.
- I dated a blind girl and she broke up with me. Guess who's back with a different voice
- What's the difference between Chris Rock and Will Smith? Chris Rock can take a hit
- If you don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'... Then your an idiot.
Built Different Jokes
Here is a list of funny built different jokes and even better built different puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- what is the difference between Narendra Modi and Donald Trump? Modi actually built the statue!
(Technically not a joke) - The word 'mortar' has 2 different meanings. As I discovered today when the house I built blew up.
- What's the difference between Coors Light and u**...? Kevin Costner built a machine that makes u**... drinkable.
Different Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about different you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make different pranks.
It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub.
It's a thirty five minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.
When my dentist reminded me about my wife's sensitive gag reflex, we laughed and laughed about it for a while...
Then I remembered...................me and my wife have different dentists…
What's the difference between a h**... and jesus?
The look on their face when you're nailing them.
I told my buddy that Jewish people call god by a different name
He was like, "No way!"
I was like, "Yahweh"
A college professor asks all of his students to yell out stereotypes for a class project
For a class project, a college professor asks all of his students to brainstorm and yell out different kinds of stereotypes.
"All blonde girls are dumb!" yells a boy in the back.
"Sony!" Yells the blonde girl in the front.
What is the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?
People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooooo.
What is the difference between American teenage girls amd Muslim teenage girls? (Offensive)
American teenage girls get s**... BEFORE they have s**....
What's the difference in a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
Ones a crusty bus station, the others a b**... crustacean.
Whats the difference between an ISIS training camp and a children's hospital?
I dunno, I just fly the drone...
What is the difference between USA and USB?
One connects to all of your devices and accesses the data, the other is a hardware standard.
Whats the difference between a t**... training camp and an orphanage?
I don't know I just fly the drone.
What's the difference between america and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture
Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between his cooking p**... and his best friend?
Because they're both cauldron
"When one door closes, another opens", he said.
"That's all well and good", I replied, "but until you fix it I'm not buying the car."
Unfortunately, the site I got this joke from many months ago is now down so I can't give them the credit it deserve. But here's a different site with it anyway...
As a child I was obsessed with the difference between cosine and sine
As I got older I realized it was just a phase
What's the difference between a pizza and a hippy chick?
You don't peel the crust off the pizza before you eat it
People compare Trump and h**... all the time, but there is one major difference.
h**... was good at making speeches
Whats the difference between a golf ball and a g**...?
Guys will actually look for the golf ball.
Every "yo momma" joke has been done thousands of times, by thousands of different people.
Kinda like yo momma.
What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a guy who fixes bicycle horns?
One's motto is 'Be Prepared', the other's is 'Beep Repaired'
If any of you are sad about being alone on valentines day, just remember...
that nobody loves you on any other day of the year, and valentine's day shouldn't be any different.
I asked my boss "what's the difference between your wife and tomorrow?"
"I'm not coming in tomorrow"
Haven't seen this one here so if it's been posted before I'm sorry
There's a big difference between a boy or a girl saying
I got through a whole box of tissues when I found out my 18 year old sister was adopted
A chess joke: What's the difference between a rook and a bishop?
Rooks can only move in straight lines, whereas bishops have s**... with kids.
What's the difference between an actress and a h**....
That's not a very good defence Mr Weinstein.
Its funny how we all sleep differently.
I sleep on my side, my brother sleeps on his back, my ex sleeps with everybody...that sorta thing.
Racism is so s**....
You shouldn't treat someone differently just because they're from an inferior race.
What is the difference between Ajit Pai and h**...?
h**... was doing what he thought was best for his country.
What's the difference between the USA and yogurt?
If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.
What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus?
One's a crustacean, the other's a crushed Asian.
What is the difference between a hippie girl and a muslim girl?
The hippie girl gets s**... before s**....
How can you tell the difference between an Indian and African elephant?
One of them is an elephant
What's the difference between a tea bag and the German football team?
A tea bag stays in the cup for longer...
Bit of British humour right there ;)
What's the difference between Thailand and America?
Thailand reunites boys with their families.
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne waits untill a boy's 12 before it comes on his face.
What is the difference between a h**... and a drug dealer?
A h**... can clean her crack and resell it.
What's the difference between a casino and a church?
You actually mean it when you pray at a casino.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One is called a Goodyear, and the other is called a great year.
It's a five minute walk from my house to the bar. It's a 35 minute walk from the bar to my house.
The difference is staggering.
What's the difference between this joke and a nudist soaked in food coloring?
One is n**... in dye and the other died in new.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire!
What is the difference between Washington, Nixon and Trump?
George Washington couldn't tell a lie.
Richard Nixon couldn't tell the truth.
Donald Trump can't tell the difference
A woman who lived next door to a preacher was puzzled by his personality change.At home he was shy, quiet and retiring, but in the church he was a real fire orator, rousing the masses in the name of God. It was as if he were two different people.
One day she asked him about the dramatic transformation that came over him when he preached.
Ah, he said, That's my altar ego.
A man walks into an Indian restaurant.
The waiter asks, have you ever ordered here before?
The man replies, No, I haven't.
The waiter continues, We're a little different here. Before you order, I need you read and sign this form, and he hands a piece of paper to the man.
The man squints at the paper and reads the single sentence, We have naan at this restaurant. The man looked up, puzzled, and asked why he needed to sign this worthless statement.
The waiter replied, impatiently, Just sign the naan disclosure agreement and we can move on.
A husband and a wife over their marriage had eight kids.One day the husband notices that their sixth kid, Billy, looks very different from the other seven.
The husband goes to his wife and asks her, Honey, I noticed that Billy looks different from the other children, did you have an affair?
The wife starts to break down into tears and nods her head.
The husband, heartbroken, quietly asks his wife, So who is Billy's father?
You.
What's the difference between a Trump rally and a k**... rally?
A k**... rally encourages to wear masks.
A guy says to his wife: "Thanks to that new scale you bought, I always know how much I p**...!"
Wife: "So you step on the scale before you p**..., go to the toilet, step on the scale again and the difference is the weight of your p**...?
He: Oh, yeah, I guess you could also do it that way...
People who don't understand the difference between...
People who don't understand the difference between etymology and entomology bug me in ways I can't put into words.
What is the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?
A comma.
A literalist takes everything literally. A kleptomaniac takes everything, literally.
A girl tells her mom she's dating the guy next door
The mom's like you can't date him he could be your dad
And the daughter is like so there's an age difference who cares
I think you misunderstood me
How can you tell the difference between a nerd and someone with a b**... fettish?
Ask them what a dungeon master is
This was the year I got all I wanted: a girlfriend, a steady job, and many new friends. All I could want for the next year is...
to be able to post this in a different sub.
After calling 5 different home security companies...
....I've decided it's cheaper to get robbed.
A British Jew is waiting in line to be knighted by the Queen.
He is to kneel in front of her and recite a sentence in Latin when she taps him on the shoulders with her sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder:
"Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot."
Puzzled, Her Majesty turns to her advisor and whispers, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?"
How do you tell the difference between a fully vaccinated person and an unvaccinated person if they aren't wearing a mask?
Ask them who won the election.
A high school senior visits a psychic...
"I've applied to 10 different colleges," the student said. "Which ones will accept me? Which one will I attend?"
"That is hard to say," said the psychic. "But you will spend an absurd sum of money."
"How do you know this?" the student asked.
The psychic replied,
"It's mostly intuition."
What is the difference between BTS and Logan Paul?
BTS is a boy band from Asia; Logan Paul is a boy banned from Asia.
Why do they call them lifts in the UK & elevators in the US?
Because we're raised differently.
What's the difference between the Taliban and Texas?
The Taliban requires women to wear masks
In Britain we call it a "lift" but Americans call it an "elevator".
I guess we're just raised differently.
A dying husband in a hospital bed asks his wife, "Our seventh child always looked different from the other six. Did he have a different father?"
His wife, crying uncontrollably answers, "Yes."
He asks, "Whose is it?"
His wife replies, "Yours!"
My mom wrote this joke: What's the difference between a sweet potato fresh out of the oven and a pig thrown off a balcony?
One is a heated yam and the other is a yeeted ham
My niece told me this joke: What's the difference between Chanukah and a dragon?
Chanukah is always eight nights.
A dragon sometimes ate knights.
What's the difference between an atheist and an evangelical Christian?
The atheist is honest about not following the teachings of Christ.
Difference between a cult and a religion
In a cult, there's a guy at the top that knows it's a scam.
In a religion, that guy is dead.
Kim and Kanye's divorce is rough on their son, North West.
It's like he's getting pulled in two different directions.
What's the difference between Putin and h**...?
h**... knew when to kill himself
What's the difference between Republicans and Ukrainians?
Ukrainians defend their Capitol.
What's the difference between a vegan and a computer programmer?
One is disgusted by rack of lamb and the other is disgusted by lack of RAM.