The Best 64 Difference Jokes

Following is our collection of Difference jokes which are very funny. There are some difference diffrence jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these difference diff puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Difference Jokes and Puns

What's the difference between a computer and an American?

An American doesn't have trouble-shooting.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a worm?

One of them is a slimy, loathsome creature incapable of complex thought, the other one actually shows up when it rains.

What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?

I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.

What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig?

The letter F.

What's the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon?

I can get through a Jimmy Fallon sketch without laughing.


What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

You only need one nail to hang the picture up.

A colon in a sentence can make a huge difference

For example:

Johnny ate his own lunch after school.

Johnny ate his own colon after school.

It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub.

It's a thirty five minute walk from the pub to my house.

The difference is staggering.

What's the difference between a hooker and jesus?

The look on their face when you're nailing them.

What is the difference between Game of Thrones and Twitter?

With Twitter you only get 140 characters.

What is the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

Attire

You can explore difference favorite reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean difference distinction dad jokes. There are also difference puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooooo.

What is the difference between American teenage girls amd Muslim teenage girls? (Offensive)

American teenage girls get stoned BEFORE they have sex.

What's the difference in a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?

Ones a crusty bus station, the others a busty crustacean.

Whats the difference between an ISIS training camp and a children's hospital?

I dunno, I just fly the drone...

What is the difference between USA and USB?

One connects to all of your devices and accesses the data, the other is a hardware standard.

What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Your mom doesn't stop sucking when I smack her

Whats the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?

I don't know I just fly the drone.

What's the difference between america and a bottle of milk?

In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture


Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend?

Because they're both cauldron

What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit?

Oranges have thick skin.

Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one!

As a child I was obsessed with the difference between cosine and sine

As I got older I realized it was just a phase

What's the difference between a pizza and a hippy chick?

You don't peel the crust off the pizza before you eat it

What is the difference between a circus and a whorehouse?[NSFW[

One is an array of cunning stunts and the other is an array of stunning c*nts

People compare Trump and hitler all the time, but there is one major difference.

Hitler was good at making speeches

Whats the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?

Guys will actually look for the golf ball.

What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a guy who fixes bicycle horns?

One's motto is 'Be Prepared', the other's is 'Beep Repaired'

I asked my boss "what's the difference between your wife and tomorrow?"

"I'm not coming in tomorrow"


Haven't seen this one here so if it's been posted before I'm sorry

There's a big difference between a boy or a girl saying

I got through a whole box of tissues when I found out my 18 year old sister was adopted

A chess joke: What's the difference between a rook and a bishop?

Rooks can only move in straight lines, whereas bishops have sex with kids.

What's the difference between an actress and a hooker.

That's not a very good defence Mr Weinstein.

What is the difference between Ajit Pai and Hitler?

Hitler was doing what he thought was best for his country.

What's the difference between the USA and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.

What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus?

One's a crustacean, the other's a crushed Asian.

What is the difference between a hippie girl and a muslim girl?

The hippie girl gets stoned before sex.

How can you tell the difference between an Indian and African elephant?

One of them is an elephant

What's the difference between a tea bag and the German football team?

A tea bag stays in the cup for longer...

Bit of British humour right there ;)

What's the difference between Thailand and America?

Thailand reunites boys with their families.

What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?

Acne waits untill a boy's 12 before it comes on his face.

What is the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can clean her crack and resell it.

What's the difference between a casino and a church?

You actually mean it when you pray at a casino.

What's the difference between North Korea and the US?

North Koreans can't tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can't tell if their leader is dead serious.

What's the difference between a police officer and a bullet?

When a bullet kills someone else, you know it's been fired

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One is called a Goodyear, and the other is called a great year.

It's a five minute walk from my house to the bar. It's a 35 minute walk from the bar to my house.

The difference is staggering.

What's the difference between this joke and a nudist soaked in food coloring?

One is nude in dye and the other died in new.

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?

Attire!

What is the difference between Washington, Nixon and Trump?

George Washington couldn't tell a lie.

Richard Nixon couldn't tell the truth.

Donald Trump can't tell the difference

What's the difference between a Trump rally and a Klan rally?

A Klan rally encourages to wear masks.

A guy says to his wife: "Thanks to that new scale you bought, I always know how much I poop!"

Wife: "So you step on the scale before you poop, go to the toilet, step on the scale again and the difference is the weight of your poop?

He: Oh, yeah, I guess you could also do it that way...

People who don't understand the difference between...

People who don't understand the difference between etymology and entomology bug me in ways I can't put into words.

What is the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?

A comma.
A literalist takes everything literally. A kleptomaniac takes everything, literally.

It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub. It's a 30 minute walk from the pub to my house.

The difference is staggering.

A girl tells her mom she's dating the guy next door

The mom's like you can't date him he could be your dad

And the daughter is like so there's an age difference who cares

I think you misunderstood me

How can you tell the difference between a nerd and someone with a BDSM fettish?

Ask them what a dungeon master is

What's the difference between the US Capitol and Mordor?

One does not simply walk into Mordor

What's the difference between the Trump kids and the capital rioters?

Donald actually loves and supports the rioters!

What's the difference between a depressed criminal and a cat cutting down a gumtree with a chainsaw?

One's a felon feeling glum, and the other is a feline felling gum.

What's the difference between me and cancer?

Nobody gets me

What's the difference between pie and cake?

πr^2, but cake are round.

yup, waited about 4 months to post this.

What is the difference between hungry and horny?

Where do you stick the cucumber?!

What's the difference between a degree in gender studies and a large pizza

A large pizza can feed a family of four

What's the difference between garbage and a home gym's weights during the COVID quarantine?

The garbage gets picked up once a week.

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?

A bad golfer goes whack, dang. A bad skydiver goes dang, whack.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the difference differentiate jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working difference similarity piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes