Dieting Jokes

Funniest Dieting Short Jokes

Short dieting jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dieting humour may include short diets jokes also.

1. I've lost a lot of weight just by wearing bread on my head. It's a new loaf hat diet I'm trying.
2. Two days into my diet I removed all the junk food from my house.... .....and it was delicious
3. I've decided to go on the "England World Cup Diet" It only lasts 5 days and you lose loads!
   (England fan here using humour to cope with the pain...)
4. My friend said, I really need to go home and feed my baby hamsters. Me: That's a terrible diet for a baby.
5. A local movie theatre was robbed of $600 worth of merchandise The suspects stole 3 medium popcorns, 1 bag of skittles and 4 small diet cokes.
6. I just started a diet. Here's a recap of Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house It was delicious
7. Han Solo's diet mainly consists of protein and fat... But he allows himself one carb a night.
8. Courtesy of my 7 year old - What happens if you don't eat a balanced diet? You will tip over
9. Easily lose weight by cutting these two things out of your diet: Breakfast and dinner.
   My dad told me this joke please laugh.
10. If I had a dollar for every time my wife said she was going on a diet I'd be able to buy her a treadmill she'd never use.

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Dieting One Liners

Which dieting one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dieting? I can suggest the ones about losing weight and weight loss.

1. Why was the blonde snorting Sweet and Low? She thought it was diet coke.
2. Why did Ben Shapiro go on a diet? To destroy the lbs.
3. I had to quit my vegetarian diet Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
4. Why did the blonde snort splenda? She thought it was diet coke.
5. The David Cameron diet: You'll never lose your pounds quicker.
6. Why was the dieting Roman so thrilled? His toga size went from L to XL.
7. I'm going to go on a Brexit diet The pounds will drop fast.
8. What does a group of Italians say when they start a diet? Ciao belli
9. I have high cholesterol, so my doctor has me on the "period" diet One egg a month
10. I'm on a whiskey diet... I've lost three days already.
11. Not to brag, but I finished this 14 day diet... in 3 hours and 38 minutes.
12. I started a diet two weeks ago So far I've lost 14 days
13. How much dessert does a dieting Jedi eat at an Italian restaurant? Only one cannoli.
14. What do you call a guy on a diet? Les
15. Don't worry about straying from your diet today. It's Tom Brady's cheat day, too.

Charming Humor Dieting Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about dieting you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean diet plan jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dieting pranks.