Diet Plan Jokes
18 diet plan jokes and hilarious diet plan puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about diet plan that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Diet Plan Short Jokes
Short diet plan jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The diet plan humour may include short diets jokes also.
- I found this great new dieting plan that's sure to make you lose a lot of pounds It's called Brexit
- I needed to lose some weight so I went on a 3 month diet plan. I don't want to brag, but... ...I just finished it in 72 hours.
- What do they call a Double Quarter Pounder with cheese, large fries, and a Diet Coke in France? "The American Weight Loss Plan."
- My personal trainer gave me a diet plan and it was really useful. Now I know that my paper shredder works.
- What did the Catholic bodybuilder say when he went to confession after falling off a new diet plan? Forgive me Father, For i have binged
- I'm worried about the American diet; Looks like they are planning on rich turkey twice this month.
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Diet Plan One Liners
Which diet plan one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with diet plan? I can suggest the ones about healthy diet and balanced diet.
- I started two diet plans today Because one wasn't enough to fill my appetite.
- This NEW diet plan will make you almost NEVER hungry Depression
Side effects: Depression - Brexit was a great diet plan ...because everyone in the UK lost a few pounds overnight.
- I finally found a diet plan that works. It's called 'The Cost of Food'.
Diet Plan Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about diet plan you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean building plan jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make diet plan pranks.
There's a new company that's planning to feed cows a diet of cannabis mixed in with their food.
They claim that the relaxed cattle produce more milk, and tender meat. The issue is that the legal costs of this are through the roof, and even the best estimates are that they won't turn a profit until 2034. The steaks have never been higher.
Jan goes to the doctor for a diet plan.
Jan is terribly overweight, so the doctor hands over a sheet of paper with a diet on it.
"I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds.
When Jan returns, The doctor's amazed to see a loss of nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"
Jan nods, "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.
"No, from skipping."
Well, I finally have my resolutions written down for the new year.
Already planned to:
- Exercise at least three times a week
- Eat a healthy, balanced diet
- Get regular healthy sleep
- Spend more time reading, less time playing games
- Less energy drinks, more water
I'm going to turn my life around. This year is going to be great!
Bouncing neighbour...
Jimmy had been hearing loud bumping noises coming from his parents room for the last 3 or 4 nights. The next night , the noises started again, so he goes to investigate. Quietly opening his parents bedroom door, he see's his mother bouncing up and down on his father. Quietly, he slips back to bed. The next morning,Jimmy asks his mom why she was bouncing up and down on dads stomach.
Mom thinks for a minute , then tells Jimmy, "It's part of a new diet plan to help dad lose weight."
Jimmy then replies, "I don't think it will work mom".
Mom asks Jimmy, "why not!"
"Because every morning when you leave for work, Mrs. Jones from next door comes over and blows daddy back up!"