The Best 29 Diet Coke Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Diet Coke jokes. There are some diet coke nutritional jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these diet coke sodas puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Diet Coke Jokes and Puns
My mom drinks Diet Coke despite knowing full well of the repercussions to her health.
You might say she's a sodamasochist.
My mom drinks Diet Coke despite knowing full well of the repercussions to her health.
You might say she's a sodamasochist.
My mom drinks Diet Coke despite knowing full well of the repercussions to her health.
You might say she's a sodamasochist.
Yo momma is so fat when she sat on da toilet it said here's a carrot and a diet coke.
Diet Coke: Making people feel better about ordering two Big Macs and a large fry since 1982.
Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener? She thought it was diet coke.
A blonde walks into a library..
she goes up to the librarians desk and says, "I'll have a quarter pounder with cheese, fries, and a diet coke please." The librarian looks at her in disbelief. "Uh, honey, this is a library, and not McDonalds." The blonde is totally taken aback as she looks around and see everyone quietly reading books. She says, "Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!"
*whispers* "I'll have a quarter pounder with cheese, fries, and a diet coke please."
Why did the blonde snort splenda?
She thought it was diet coke.
Why did the blond snort NutraSweet?
She thought it was diet coke.
I was standing at the bar when a girl came up to me...
I was standing at the bar when a girl came up to me.
"Fancy buying me a drink?" She said,
"Sure," I replied. "If you let me choose."
"Okay," she grinned. "But how will you know what I want?"
"Well, it's kind of a talent," I smiled. "All I do is look a girl up and down and I know exactly what drink suits her best."
"Okay," she giggled. "You can choose for me."
So I turned to the barman and said, "Diet coke, mate."
North Korea claims to have just tested an H-Bomb
Turns out they just discovered Mentos and Diet Coke
You can explore diet coke dietary reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean diet coke nutritionist dad jokes. There are also diet coke puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A local movie theatre was robbed of $600 worth of merchandise
The suspects stole 3 medium popcorns, 1 bag of skittles and 4 small diet cokes.
How does a crackhead lose weight?
Diet Coke.
A polar bear walks into a restaurant..
The polar bear tells the waitress,
"I'll have a Diet Coke, a double cheeseburger and a-"
...
...
... "side of fries."
"What's with the long pause!?" The waitress asked.
The polar bear replied,
"I was born with them."
Dear Diet Coke,
I feel like you're overreacting.
Sincerely,
Mentos
Why was the blonde snorting Sweet and Low?
She thought it was diet coke.
CEOs of Carsberg, Heineken, Becks and Guiness walk into a bar
CEO of Carlsberg orders a bottle of Carlsberg.
CEO of Heineken orders a bottle of Heineken.
CEO of Becks orders a bottle of Becks.
CEO of Guiness orders diet coke with no ice.
They turn around and ask him why he ordered coke. He responds " Nobody's drinking beer. Didn't want to be the only one "
Why did the blonde snort nutrasweet?
She wanted diet coke.
The doctor told me to watch what I eat if I wanted to lose weight.
I stare at my extra large pepperoni pizza with a Diet Coke for at least an hour before I scarf it down and I haven't lost a pound.
I was waiting on a table and an old lady asked if she could have a Diet Coke with very little ice.
I told her that our ice comes one size only.
Why is it whenever I order a Coke, they assume I'm trying to lose weight?
They always say, "diet?"
A Belgian guy enters a French bar and asks for a Diet Coke
The barman says I'm sorry we are out of those, is it ok if I give you one zero?
A Belgian guy enters in a bar...
He asks for a diet coke and the barman says : I don't have them anymore, can I give you ONE ZERO ?!
\#WorldcupJokes
The machine poured me a diet coke with no caffeine in it.
That was just soda pressing.
I asked my rooster what he wanted to drink
Diet Coke'l do
Introducing diet coke
making people think it's okay to order 2 big-macs and a large fry since 1982
A blonde goes to the counter and in a very loud voice declares, I'll have a cheeseburger, a small order of fries and a Diet Coke, please!
The lady behind the counter is astonished and says, Ma'am, this is a library.
The blonde apologizes and leans in close and says in a whisper, I'll have a cheeseburger, a small order of fries and a Diet Coke, please.
Library
So this guy walks into a library. He approaches the librarian and says: I'll have a double whopper, medium fries and a diet coke, please .
The librarian looks puzzled and responds: Erm, sir, you are aware that this is a library...?
The man: *whispers* sorry, so that was a double whopper, medium fries and a diet coke.
What do they call a Double Quarter Pounder with cheese, large fries, and a Diet Coke in France?
"The American Weight Loss Plan."
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the diet coke healthier jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working diet coke calorie piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.