The Best 40 Diesel Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Diesel jokes. There are some diesel kerosene jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these diesel vin diesel puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Diesel Jokes and Puns

Panty Stitcher VS Diesel Fitter

Manuel and Pedro worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Manuel answered, "Panty Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies' cotton panties."

The clerk looked up Panty Stitcher. Finding it classified as "unskilled labor," she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.

Pedro was asked his occupation. "Diesel Fitter," he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Pedro $600 a week.

When Manuel found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.

The clerk explained, "Panty stitchers are unskilled and diesel fitters are skilled labor"

"What skill?!" yelled Manuel. "I sew the elastic on da panties, Pedro puts dem over his head and says: 'Yeah, diesel fitter.'"

I'm going to develop a biofuel made from grapes

And call it Vin Diesel.

put diesel in my escort this morning

she died

Diesel joke, put diesel in my escort this morning

My friend filled his Escort with diesel...

She died.

Obama and Putin are walking on the beach.

Obama says "We have got great submarines, they can stay under water for 6 weeks". Putin replies "That's nothing, our submarines can stay under water for 10 weeks". Suddenly, a submarine emerges and a man sticks his head out and yells "Heil Hitler! Do you have diesel?"


VW just released a new diesel car...

It's called the Cheetah.

... credits to a colleague at work

"Talk dirty to me!"she begged.

"Alright," he said leaning closer, "Volkswagon diesel!"

Diesel joke, "Talk dirty to me!"she begged.

The meeting with Kim Davis isn't the only thing on his U.S. trip that Pope Francis wanted to keep secret...

The engine in his Fiat was a Volkswagen diesel.

What do you call gasoline that comes in first place?

Win Diesel

Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?

Because they're both roasted

Weird Al and Vin Diesel should team up with a chip tune band

Then they could be Al, Vin & The Chip Monks

You can explore diesel vin reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean diesel automotive dad jokes. There are also diesel puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I was at a gas station and I accidentally filled up my escort with diesel.

She died.

Vin Diesel was riding his bike at the speed of light when a man asked him for a lift.

Vin Diesel stopped for him to hop on and continued riding at the speed of light.
After a while the man asked.
Man: "So what's your name?"
Vin: "Cin Diesel"
Man: "Don't you mean Vin Diesel?"
Vin: "No it's Cin Diesel"
Man: "But why?"
Vin: "Because at the speed of light c=v"

Why does Vin Diesel get hangry?

The fast makes him furious.

What do you call a weasel made out of gasoline?

A diesel.

I was driving and I decided to fill up the Escort with diesel.

She died.

Diesel joke, I was driving and I decided to fill up the Escort with diesel.

A lot of different plants can be turned into alcohol and then used for trucking fuel. I tried this with juniper berries.

I call it gin diesel.

Dominic Toretto's car wouldn't run

It had diesel in it.

They've announced a new Chronicles of Riddick movie without Vin Diesel....

...which is just Riddickless.


What happened to Vin Diesel when Dwayne Johnson pinned him against a brick wall?

He found himself between The Rock and a hard place.

A man applies for a job as a diesel fitter at a women's underwear factory. He asks his supervisor what the job entails.

The supervisor takes some underwear off the line, puts it on his head and says, "Deez'll fit 'er!"

Filled the Escort with diesel,

she died.

I accidentally put diesel in my Escort...

She died.

I accidently filled the escort with diesel yesterday.

She died

I put diesel in a 25 year old Escort the other day.

She died.

If you had to choose between a wonderful wife or a wonderful car..

Would you choose a petrol or a diesel engine ?

If you had a choice between a beautiful wife or a new car, which would you choose?

A diesel or a petrol?

What kind of fuel does the Fast and the Furious cast use

Vin Diesel

Vin Diesel is back as Xander Cage in

TedXXX

Hollywood is really taking climate change seriously

Vin Diesel even changed his name to Vin Solar

Vin Diesel pulled up next to me at a light the other day

Shocked, I saw him motion for me to roll down my window. I did and he said to me:

"You know what I put in my car?"

"Gas?" I replied.

"Diesel" he said and then he sped off.

I filled my escort with diesel gasoline.

She died.

Why didn't they ever stop for gas in the Fast and Furious movies?

They had Vin Diesel.

-you're so cute. I liked your accent

+thank you. It's 2019 1.6 Diesel

I accidentally filled the Escort with diesel.

She died.

I accidentally filled the escort up with diesel

She died.



Posting my favourite Gary Delaney joke on my cake day.

Reasons the idiot couldn't kill himself.

He couldn't find the tailpipe on his Tesla.

He jumped in front of a model train.

The bullets wouldn't fit in the squirt gun.

He overdosed on placebo pills.

He jumped off a low bridge.

He stuck a plastic fork in an outlet.

He doused himself in diesel and tried to light it.

He leaped into an animal cage at the petting zoo.

Did you know that Vin Diesel only eats two meals a day to keep in shape for making movies?

Breakfast and breakfurious

What weighs 10 tons, consumes 20 liters of diesel per hour and splits apples into three parts?

A Soviet apple quartering machine.

Things are pretty bad right now

Van Diesel was forced to change his name to Van Electric due to increasing gas prices.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the diesel depot jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working diesel diesel truck piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes