Diesel Fitter Jokes
7 diesel fitter jokes and hilarious diesel fitter puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about diesel fitter that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Diesel Fitter Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good diesel fitter joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Sven and Ole joke (do your best Swedish accent when reading their lines)
Sven and Ole both lost their jobs when the clothing manufacturer they worked at closed. At the unemployment office, Sven was asked what position he held at the factory, he replied Ya, well I sew women's underpants. He was told to go to the next line to claim his unemployment check.
Ole was asked the same question, to which he replied Diesel fitter. He too was told to go to the next line to get his unemployment check.
After Sven and Ole collected their checks, they compared them outside. Ole's check was twice as much, which made Sven furious. He stormed back inside and asked to talk with a manager. He demanded to know why his check was half of what Ole's was. The manager told him, Well, you were a tailor, your friend Ole has a specialty in engine repair.
Sven's anger was boiling over. He loudly told them, WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I sew the underpants and put them in a pile, Ole holds them up and says Ya, diesel fitter. What has that got to do with engines?
p**... Stitcher VS Diesel Fitter
Manuel and Pedro worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Manuel answered, "p**... Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies' cotton p**...."
The clerk looked up p**... Stitcher. Finding it classified as "unskilled labor," she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.
Pedro was asked his occupation. "Diesel Fitter," he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Pedro $600 a week.
When Manuel found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.
The clerk explained, "p**... stitchers are unskilled and diesel fitters are skilled labor"
"What skill?!" yelled Manuel. "I sew the elastic on da p**..., Pedro puts dem over his head and says: 'Yeah, diesel fitter.'"
A man applies for a job as a diesel fitter at a women's underwear factory. He asks his supervisor what the job entails.
The supervisor takes some underwear off the line, puts it on his head and says, "Deez'll fit 'er!"
My first job was being a diesel fitter at a pantyhose factory.
As they came off the line, I would hold them up and say, "yeah, Deez-el fit her."
Diesel Fitter
Sven and Ole worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office together.
Asked for his occupation, Ole said "p**... Stitcher. I sew the elastic onto ladies cotton p**...." The cleark looked up p**... Sticher. Finding it classified as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.
Sven was asked his occupation. "Diesel Fitter" he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Sven $600 a week.
When Ole found out, he was furious. He stormed back into the unemployment office to find out why his friend and coworker was collecting double his unemployment pay. The clerk explained, "p**... Stichers are unskilled labor and diesel fitters are skilled labor"
"What skill?" yelled Ole. "I sew the elastic on the p**..., Sven puts them over his head and says, 'Yah, diesel fitter!"
Two men are at the unemployment line
The first goes up to the counter. The clerk asks him "What was your previous occupation?" He said "I used to sew the liners in bras" So the clerk sets $100/week as his benefit.
The next guy goes and the clerk asks him the same thing. He says "I'm a diesel fitter." So the clerk sets $500/week as his benefits.
The first guy is outraged, so he goes and asks why he got such a low benefit as opposed to the other guy. So the clerk says "Your work was labor, and the other one was a technical guy." So the first guy says "Ask him how his job works!"
So he does, and the guy replies "Well my buddy sows on the liner, and I hold 'em up, look at 'em, and say 'Yup, diesel fitter!'
Diesel Fitter
Ole and Lars who worked together were both laid off, so off they were to the unemployment office. Asked his occupation, Ole said, "p**... stitcher. I sew the elastic onto cotton p**...." The clerk looked up p**... stitcher. Finding it classified as unskilled labor, she gave Ole $300 a week unemployment pay.
Lars was asked his occupation. "Diesel fitter," he replied. Since diesel fitters was a skilled job the clerk gave him $600 a week.
When Ole finds out he is furious. He stormed back to find out why Lars, his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay. The clerk explained, "p**... stitchers were unskilled and diesel fitters were skilled labor." "What skill?" yelled Ole. "I sew the elastic on. He pulls on it and says, 'Yep, diesel fitter.'"
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