didnae Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious didnae puns

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are at a bar

A fly lands on the edge of the Englishman's pint. He says to the bartender, "This beer's gone bad, I'd like another."

The fly lands in the Scotsman's pint. He pulls it out and tosses it on the bar. "Tis just a fly, it didnae hurt anybody," he says and takes a big gulp.

The fly then lands in the Irishman's pint. He pulls the fly out squeezes the fly and shakes it, and says, "Spit it out, ya greedy bastard!"

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A London lawyer is driving

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by an Irish cop. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education than any Irish cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Irish cop's expense.

Irish cop says,"License and registration, please."

London Lawyer says, "What for?"

Irish cop says,"Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

London Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Irish cop says,"Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. License and registration, please"

London Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

Irish cop says, "The difference is, ye havte come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!"

London Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

Irish cop says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."

The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.

The Irish cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living shit out of the lawyer and says, "Daeye want me to stop, or just slow down? "

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London Lawyer v Glasgow Cop

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper.

He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from London and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cop's expense!!

Glasgow cop says, " Licence and registration, please."

London Lawyer says, "What for?"

Glasgow cop says, "Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

London Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Glasgow cop says, "Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. Licence and Registration, Please.

London Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

Glasgow cop says, "The difference is, ye huvte to come to complete stop, that's the law, Licence and registration, please!"

London Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my licence and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

Glasgow cop says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."

The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.

The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the lawyer and says,
"Dae ye want me to stop, or just slow doon?"

/end
This isn't actually illegal in Scotland (beating lawyers, not failing to come to a stop :P ), but the joke is still funny

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Great Scot!

Waiter: Are you here for a special occasion?
Campbell: Aye, we won the third prize in the annual Robert Burns contest... A haggis dinner for two.
Waiter: What were the other prizes?
Campbell: Second prize was a single haggis dinner, and if you won the first prize, you didnae have to eat the haggis.

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What are the most funny Didnae jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Didnae? Well, here are the best Didnae dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Didnae pick up lines to share with friends.

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