Did Jokes
135 did jokes and hilarious did puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about did that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Did Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good did joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?
I heard he made a mint.
Why did it take the police so long to show up to Capitol Hill today?
Because they had to go home and change first.
waiting for election results is like waiting for a grade on a group project.
I know I did my part right, but I am worried the rest of you s**... it up.
What has 4 letters, sometimes 9 letters, but never has 5 letters.
Just a hint: I didn't ask a question.
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?
HDMI
If i had a dime for every time i didn't understand what's going on.
I'd be like: "Why y'all keep giving me all these dimes?"
A m**... was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the m**... if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely r**... by a dozen w**... than let liquor touch my lips."
The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I'm not going to spread it!
I invited my girlfriend to go to the gym with me and then I didn't show.
I hope she gets the message that we're not working out.
My boss: You're fired.
Me: *turns in gun and badge*
My boss: You're a waiter where did you get those
A little girl runs up to her mother and says "mummy, daddy hanged himself in the basement!"
Upon hearing the news the mother breaks down in tears and, shakily, makes her way into the basement.
When they get there, the woman cannot see the father's corpse.
The little girl then exclaims "April fools! Daddy did it in the garage"
Did you hear Mary Poppins stopped wearing lipstick whilst giving head?
Apparently the super colour fragile lipstick makes the d**... atrocious.
6 was afraid of 7 because 789. But why did 7 eat 9?
Because he needed 3² meals a day.
Why are people complaining,what EA did was great!
I mean, you've got to give them credit.
Antiwork did an interview on fox News to try to create a good public image of their sub
It didn't work.
I was going to donate blood today, but they always ask waaaay too many personal questions
Like, "who's blood is this", and "where did you get it?"
Your Girlfriend Is Pregnant !
Guy: But doctor that can't be right. We use condoms everytime we have s**....
Doctor: Well, the test result would suggest otherwise. Maybe the c**... broke?
Guy: No I'm sure it didn't.
Doctor: Alright then. Let me tell you a story. A guy was wandering in the forest where he encountered a tiger. The tiger looked really ferocious and the guy knew that he was doomed. Cornered, the guy then points his umbrella's tip at the tiger and shouts Bang at the tiger. The tiger died.
Guy: That can't be right. Someone else must have shot the tiger.
Doctor: Exactly.
When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it.
That's Arkham's Razor.
Why did the old man fall in the well?
Because he couldn't see that well!
What sort of grades did Tommy Wiseau receive in school?
Oh, high marks.
What did Charizard say when he saw Pikachu
Charizard
What did Sparticus do to the cannibal who ate his nagging wife?
Nothing, he's gladiator.
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Why Did The Mexican Jokes
Here is a list of funny why did the mexican jokes and even better why did the mexican puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A man crosses the mexican border seeking better living conditions for his family. Then his constituency calls for him to resign as a senator from Texas.
- What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein? No Whey José.
- "Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church. But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
- Why did the Mexican take a Xanax? For hispanic attacks
- Did you ever hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives
- How does every Mexican joke start? By looking over your shoulder.
- Why do only 2 Mexicans cross the border at a time? Because the sign says no trespassing.
- Mexican and African jokes are all pretty much the same.... Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal...
- Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos? Because the sign says No Tres passing
- A Black Guy, a Mexican, and a Muslim holding a Gay Chicken Walk Into a Bar Bartender says, "We don't do jokes in here."
The chicken says, "Come on guys I know a place across the street."
Why Did The Chicken Jokes
Here is a list of funny why did the chicken jokes and even better why did the chicken puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a chicken that's afraid of the dark? A chicken.
- I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon today I'll let you know.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? Because of a rotten banana or whatever.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To take a photo in front of a church.
- They say you are what you eat... today I bought some ready to eat chicken and sure enough I was ready to eat chicken.
- Why did Bill Barr gas protestors? So the chicken could cross the road
- A joke my 8-year old made up: What do you call a chicken that's afraid of the dark? A chicken
- My favorite Dad joke, because it's my cake day. Why does a chicken coup only have two doors?
Because if it had four doors, it would be a sedan. - What does Tumblr and KFC's chicken have in common? They both contain high amounts of trans fats.
- I used my stimulus check to buy baby chickens Money for nothing, and the chicks for free
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road Jokes
Here is a list of funny why did the chicken cross the road jokes and even better why did the chicken cross the road puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape Kim Jong Un's long range missiles.
- Why did the pig cross the road? Because the chicken told him to teargas protestors for a photo-op
- From my 9 year old yesterday... Why did the chicken cross the road?
To visit the idiot...
Knock Knock
Who's there?
The chicken. - Why did the plant-based chicken cross the road? Idk, it's beyond meat.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
- Turkey cross the road Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken. - I grilled a chicken for 2 hours. It still wouldn't tell me why it crossed the road.
- A Duck is about to cross the road When a chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
- Ok my 4 year old came up with this one, not sure he really understands how clever it is though... Why did the Dragon Cross the Road? He wanted to eat some chicken.
- Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove it wasn't chicken.
What My Blonde Friend Did Jokes
Here is a list of funny what my blonde friend did jokes and even better what my blonde friend did puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A blonde was talking to her redhead friend about her boyfriends dandruff problem... The redhead says "why don't you give him head and shoulders."
The blonde replies "how do you give shoulders?" - "I got a compliment on my driving today," said a blonde to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield that said "parking fine".
- A blonde does an IQ test Her friend asks her how it went. " Don't worry, it came out negative"-she replies
- I was sleeping with two twins for while in my 20s.... My friends all asked, "how can you tell them apart?" I replied, "well...Sharon has long blonde hair, and Derek has a beard."
- "Did you know that Christmas day falls on a Friday this year?" said one blonde to another. "Oh dear!!" her friend replied, "I hope it's not the 13th?"
- I used to have a friend with the most beautiful blonde hair I haven't seen them in so long and I really hope they didn't dye
- My blonde friend got breast implants I used to call her " little Connie", now she's just "Silicone"
- Blonde: My husbands dandruff is getting out of control! Friend: Why don't you give him head and shoulders?
Blonde: How do you give shoulders? - I recently told my blonde friend that my grandfather kicked the bucket the other day. She asked, "Is his foot okay?"
- Why can't a blonde dial 911 She can't find the eleven.
Not sure if someone already posted this joke but a friend told me so I had to post it.