The Best 33 Dictionary Definition Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dictionary Definition jokes. There are some dictionary definition jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dictionary definition puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Dictionary Definition Jokes and Puns

What do you call a dictionary on drugs?

High definition.

I couldn't afford a nice television, so I just smoked a ton of weed and read the dictionary.

High definition.

I'll never use that dictionary again...

The definition it gave for "obfuscate" was confusing and misleading.

What do you call a dictionary that smokes weed?

High definition

My favourite word in the dictionary is toned

Great definition


A panda spent the night in bed with a prostitute

The following morning as he is about ready to leave, the prostitute yells after him, "Hey, aren't you going to pay me?"
The panda appears confused, so she throws a dictionary at him and tells him to look up 'prostitute.' The definition reads: 'A woman who engages in promiscuous sexual activity for pay. '
The panda throws the dictionary back at the prostitute and tells her to look up 'panda.'
The definition reads: 'An animal that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves.'

A Koala walks into a bar...

So he sits down and after a while of chatting with the barkeep he starts to notice a girl eyeing him from across the bar. So he goes and talks to her and after some flirting they decide to go upstairs

So they go upstairs and get into the 69 position and when its all said and done the koala goes to leave, but the girl says "Hey, where's my money?" Appalled he says "What do you mean?" She replies by telling him to look up the definition of prostitute in the dictionary. He does so and it reads 'One who does sexual acts for money.' He then tells her to look up the definition of koala in the dictionary. She does this and it reads "small, tree dwelling marsupial that eats bush and leaves."

Panda and a Prostitute

A panda spent the night in bed with a prostitute. The following morning as he is about ready to leave, the prostitute yells after him, "Hey, aren't you going to pay me?"

The panda appears confused, so she throws a dictionary at him and tells him to look up 'prostitute.'

The definition reads: 'A woman who engages in promiscuous sexual activity for pay. '

The panda throws the dictionary back at the prostitute and tells her to look up 'panda.'

The definition reads: 'An animal that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves'

Why did the bodybuilder buy a dictionary?

Because he wanted to get more definition.

I try working out by lifting dictionaries...

I've been told that's how you get definition.

A panda walks into a restaurant

A panda walks into a restaurant and orders one of everything. The panda finishes up his meal and his bill comes the panda stands up and shoots the waiter. The manager comes out of the back and goes you've eaten all my food and shot my staff and wont even pay your bill what's wrong with you? The panda reply's "I'm a panda look me up in the dictionary" The manager goes and gets a dictionary he looks up panda and the definition is "Eats shoots and leaves"

You can explore dictionary definition reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dictionary definition dad jokes. There are also dictionary definition puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


For my 3rd wish, I wish for infinite wishes

"Wish granted," says the Genie.

"Really? I thought it was impossible. I wish for infinite riches now." responds the man.

The man waits for a few minutes as nothing happens.

"I thought you said you granted my wish for infinite wishes!"

The Genie smirks and responds "I said I would only GRANT three wishes. You have infinite wishes as you wanted now, except I just won't grant them. You should have looked at the dictionary definition for wish first."

I got a tattoo of a dictionary on my bisep...

I wanted to add definition to my arm

What do you get when you roll weed on a dictionary?

...High Definition

A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a plate of bamboo…

When he's finished with his meal, he hops up onto the table, pulls out two Glock 45s and unloads both magazines, blasting everything in sight.

When the guns empty, he throws them down and starts walking towards the door. The bartender looks up from behind the bar and yells, Hey! What the hell, man?

The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda:

"A tree dwelling bear of Asian orgin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats bamboo shoots and leaves.

I was certain that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result...

but every dictionary I check says something else.

My teacher once told me that success never comes before work...

I'll definitely pay him a visit after I make a fortune selling dictionaries.

Me: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?

Her: If you say "Addict-ionary", I will kill you.

Me: I was going to say "High Definition", but yours is better.

I can't afford a nice t.v.

So, I just smoke a load of weed and read the dictionary.

HIGH DEFINITION.


Why was the dictionary on the top shelf more expensive than the one on the bottom...

Because it was a higher definition

What do you get a body builder for Christmas?

A dictionary, so they get plenty of definition.

There's a stack of dictionaries in my local gym.

That place is full of definition.

How can you tell if a dictionary has been working out?

You can see the definition.

I looked up the definition of missing in the dictionary…

It wasn't there.

What does the dictionary like when judging bodybuilders?

Definition.

Did you know that a new verb has been added into the Oxford Dictionary? The definition is: To prank somebody in a infantile way.

Nah I'm just kidding

Definition of Pantheism

From The Devil's Dictionary, by Ambrose Bierce:

*PANTHEISM, n. The doctrine that everything is God, in contradistinction to the doctrine that God is everything.*

What is the difference between...

A dictionary on weed and a dictionary on heroine?

One is High definition, the other is Addictionary.

What does my body and a dictionary with no "M" section have in common?

No muscle definition

I bought a new dictionary the other day but it didn't have the word "blurry."

Obviously, it lacks definition.

FBI responds to increased number of botched investigations resulting in civilian casualties

By adding a new definition for "botched" to urban dictionary; successful

Chuck Norris originally wrote the first dictionary.



The definition of each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face.

John was talking to his fiance, Rebecca.

He said, "Be honest now, baby, how am I as a lover?" To which she replied, "Honey, I would definitely say that you're warm." "Really?" he asked excitedly. "Yes, in fact I would say that you're the dictionary definition of the word 'warm.'" John was pleased until he went home and just for fun, checked his dictionary and found, "WARM: Not so hot."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dictionary definition jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dictionary definition piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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