Dictionary Definition Jokes
43 dictionary definition jokes and hilarious dictionary definition puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dictionary definition that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Dictionary Definition Short Jokes
Short dictionary definition jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dictionary definition humour may include short dictionary defines jokes also.
- I'll never use that dictionary again... The definition it gave for "obfuscate" was confusing and misleading.
- I try working out by lifting dictionaries... I've been told that's how you get definition.
- I was certain that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result... but every dictionary I check says something else.
- My teacher once told me that success never comes before work... I'll definitely pay him a visit after I make a fortune selling dictionaries.
- Why was the dictionary on the top shelf more expensive than the one on the bottom... Because it was a higher definition
- What do you get a body builder for Christmas? A dictionary, so they get plenty of definition.
- Did you know that a new verb has been added into the Oxford Dictionary? The definition is: To prank somebody in a infantile way. Nah I'm just kidding
- Definition of Pantheism From The Devil's Dictionary, by Ambrose Bierce:
*PANTHEISM, n. The doctrine that everything is God, in contradistinction to the doctrine that God is everything.* - What does my body and a dictionary with no "M" section have in common? No muscle definition
- I bought a new dictionary the other day but it didn't have the word "blurry." Obviously, it lacks definition.
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Dictionary Definition One Liners
Which dictionary definition one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dictionary definition? I can suggest the ones about english dictionary and dictionary.
- What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High definition.
- My favourite word in the dictionary is toned Great definition
- Why did the bodybuilder buy a dictionary? Because he wanted to get more definition.
- I got a tattoo of a dictionary on my bisep... I wanted to add definition to my arm
- There's a stack of dictionaries in my local gym. That place is full of definition.
- How can you tell if a dictionary has been working out? You can see the definition.
- I looked up the definition of missing in the dictionary… It wasn't there.
- What does the dictionary like when judging bodybuilders? Definition.
Comical & Quirky Dictionary Definition Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about dictionary definition you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean vocabulary jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dictionary definition pranks.
John was talking to his fiance, Rebecca. He said, "Be honest now, baby, how am I as a lover?" To which she replied, "Honey, I would definitely say that you're warm." "Really?" he asked excitedly. "Yes, in fact I would say that you're the dictionary definition of the word 'warm.'" John was pleased until he went home and just for fun, checked his dictionary and found, "WARM: Not so hot."
Chuck Norris originally wrote the first dictionary.
The definition of each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Panda and a p**...
A panda spent the night in bed with a p**.... The following morning as he is about ready to leave, the p**... yells after him, "Hey, aren't you going to pay me?"
The panda appears confused, so she throws a dictionary at him and tells him to look up p**....'
The definition reads: 'A woman who engages in promiscuous s**... activity for pay. '
The panda throws the dictionary back at the p**... and tells her to look up 'panda.'
The definition reads: 'An animal that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A koala wakes up next to a p**.......
The koala tries to sneak out of the motel room before the p**... wakes up. As he opens the door, the protitute wakes up and says "where do you think you're going? You haven't paid me yet". The koala refuses to pay, so the protitute says "let's look in a dictionary for the definition of p**...". The two proceed to look up the definition to find that it is 'someone who has s**... for money'. The Koala then flips a few pages back to the definition of koala, then walks out of the room. Confused, the protitute looks down at the page. The dictionary says 'Koala: An animal who eats bushes and leaves'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A koala walks into a bar
A koala walks into a bar one night, slams his paw down on the table, and orders a drink. When he's done, slam goes his paw again for more. This goes on for about half an hour, and just when he was going to do it again, the barkeep told him if he was looking for a good time, there was some one in the back room who could help him, the koala decides why not and goes into the back room. There he meets a p**... who is waiting for him. That night he has the best s**... he has ever had. After the p**... turns to the koala and says, "How about my money," the koala looked confused and the p**... brought out a dictionary and it said...p**...: Has s**... for money.
So in response the koala turn to the definition for the koala and it says. KOALA: Eats bush and leaves.
What's the stupidest joke you know?
Here's mine:
A panda walks into a bar and orders his food and drinks. When he's done, the panda gets up and pulls out a gun, which he then shoots into the ceiling. He promptly leaves.
The next day, the panda goes into the same bar, at which point the bartender says, "Hey! You can't come in here after what you did yesterday, you didn't even pay!"
To which the panda says, "bartender, look up the definition of a panda in the dictionary."
The bartender opens his dictionary to "panda" and reads aloud, "panda - eats shoots and leaves."
One that eats shoots and leaves in a classic joke!
A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"
The panda yells back at the manager and left the restaurant, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!"
The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.
FBI responds to increased number of botched investigations resulting in civilian casualties
By adding a new definition for "botched" to urban dictionary; successful
A panda walks into a restaurant
A panda walks into a restaurant and orders one of everything. The panda finishes up his meal and his bill comes the panda stands up and shoots the waiter. The manager comes out of the back and goes you've eaten all my food and shot my staff and wont even pay your bill what's wrong with you? The panda reply's "I'm a panda look me up in the dictionary" The manager goes and gets a dictionary he looks up panda and the definition is "Eats shoots and leaves"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Koala walks into a bar...
So he sits down and after a while of chatting with the barkeep he starts to notice a girl eyeing him from across the bar. So he goes and talks to her and after some flirting they decide to go upstairs
So they go upstairs and get into the 69 position and when its all said and done the koala goes to leave, but the girl says "Hey, where's my money?" Appalled he says "What do you mean?" She replies by telling him to look up the definition of p**... in the dictionary. He does so and it reads 'One who does s**... acts for money.' He then tells her to look up the definition of koala in the dictionary. She does this and it reads "small, tree dwelling marsupial that eats bush and leaves."
A panda walks into a restaurant
and orders some spaghetti. The waiter is surprised but still serves his order.
The panda eats the spaghetti slowly while reading a dictionary. After he is finished, he pulls out a gun, shoots the waiter and exits the restaurant.
The manager is staggered by the turn of events and moves to check what the panda had left behind. He sees the open page on the dictionary and finds the following definition of 'panda':
"a large bear-like mammal with characteristic black-and-white markings, native to certain mountain forests in China. Eats shoots and leaves."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the difference between...
A dictionary on w**... and a dictionary on heroine?
One is High definition, the other is Addictionary.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I couldn't afford a nice television, so I just smoked a ton of w**... and read the dictionary.
High definition.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A koala wakes up next to a p**......
Without a sound he gets up, makes his way to the door and begins to open it when the p**... wakes up and sees him.
"Hey, where do you think youre going?" the p**... asks? She pulls out a dictionary and shows him the definition of p**.... It says, "a person, in particular a woman, who engages in s**... activity for payment."
He says in response, "Look up the definition of koala."
She finds it and begins to read. "a bearlike arboreal Australian marsupial that has thick gray fur and eats shoots and leaves."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A panda spent the night in bed with a p**...
The following morning as he is about ready to leave, the p**... yells after him, "Hey, aren't you going to pay me?"
The panda appears confused, so she throws a dictionary at him and tells him to look up p**....' The definition reads: 'A woman who engages in promiscuous s**... activity for pay. '
The panda throws the dictionary back at the p**... and tells her to look up 'panda.'
The definition reads: 'An animal that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves.'
For my 3rd wish, I wish for infinite wishes
"Wish granted," says the Genie.
"Really? I thought it was impossible. I wish for infinite riches now." responds the man.
The man waits for a few minutes as nothing happens.
"I thought you said you granted my wish for infinite wishes!"
The Genie smirks and responds "I said I would only GRANT three wishes. You have infinite wishes as you wanted now, except I just won't grant them. You should have looked at the dictionary definition for wish first."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a plate of bamboo…
When he's finished with his meal, he hops up onto the table, pulls out two Glock 45s and unloads both magazines, blasting everything in sight.
When the guns empty, he throws them down and starts walking towards the door. The bartender looks up from behind the bar and yells, Hey! What the h**..., man?
The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda:
"A tree dwelling bear of Asian orgin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats bamboo shoots and leaves.