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Dictator Jokes

115 dictator jokes and hilarious dictator puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dictator that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Dictator Short Jokes

Short dictator jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dictator humour may include short traitor jokes also.

  1. I've managed 434 days, 12 hours, 47 minutes and 17 seconds of sobriety. I'm so glad alcohol doesn't dictate my life any more.
  2. Mike Tyson was arrested at a 5th grade sitting bee his first time judging The word was Dictate.
    [Spelling Bee Contestant] Can you use it in a sentence?
    [Mike Tyson] She liked the way my Dictate
  3. There's a rumour that North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un is dead. But personally, I think he's just Kim Jong Un-well
  4. What do you call a potato that becomes US President and silences the news, silences government agencies, silences government funded science and ends international treaties? A dic-tater.
  5. This Heat is Like a Middle Eastern Dictator... This Heat is Like a Middle Eastern Dictator. It's oppressive, you can't get away from it, and I'm pretty sure we can blame the U.S. for it.
  6. I've been doing some research into my family tree, and it turns out my Great Grandfather was a terrible dictator. Apparently none of his secretaries understood a word he said.
  7. What did the Middle Eastern dictator say after he had lunch? I ate too many chickpeas, now I falafel.
  8. What do you call a fascist potato? A dictater.
  9. Why did the dictator ban carousel rides in his country? He deemed them revolutionary.
  10. Why did everyone hate their potato overlord? Because he was a dictator.

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Dictator One Liners

Which dictator one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dictator? I can suggest the ones about emperor and dictate.

  1. Why is the North korean dictator so evil? Because he has no Seoul.
  2. Why is North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un so ruthless? He doesn't have a Seoul.
  3. What do you call a dictator who can't drive a manual transmission? Stalin
  4. Did you hear about the procrastinating dictator? He was stalin.
  5. What do you call a mean Potato? A Dictator.
  6. What do you get when you cross a president with a potato? A dictator.
  7. Kim Jong Un is currently.. The Shrodingers cat of dictators.
  8. What do you get when you cross a hotdog and a potato? A dictator.
  9. What do you call it when a Russian dictator procrastinates? Stalin'
  10. What Roman dictator suffered from Epilepsy? Julius Seizure.
  11. What do you call a Canadian dictator? Vladimir Poutine.
  12. How do dictators travel on the sea? In dictatorships.
  13. What do you call a dictator running a bookshop? The Supreme Reader.
  14. This Halloween, I put a potato in my pants and ordered people around. I was a dictator.
  15. What do you call a Roman dictator having an epileptic fit? Julius Seizure

Dictator Kim Jokes

Here is a list of funny dictator kim jokes and even better dictator kim puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why is Kim Jong Un such an evil dictator? Because he has no Seoul.
  • I heard that roles in leadership positions are good jobs... ...but tell that to Kim Jong Un, he's a dictator with a failing Korea
  • Can he tame the crazy dictator from the North? The whole world is hoping for Kim Jong-Un.
  • Dictator Who's the dictator who loves playing card games?
    Kim Jong Uno.
  • A lot of people say that Kim Jong Un is a terrible dictator.... but I worked as a secretary in his administration for several years, and found his speech to be clear, concise and well paced
  • People say Kim Jong Un is a terrible dictator but... ...i worked as his secretary and I found him to be rather eloquent.
  • What do you call a North Korean dictator who produces music on SoundCloud? Kim Jong Tune
  • What happens when Korean dictators are bad drivers? Kim car-dashing
  • Who is Master P's favorite dictator? Kim Jung Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun
  • What do you call someone who dictates the music on a car ride? Kim Jong Tune
Dictator joke, What do you call someone who dictates the music on a car ride?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about dictator can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of dictator puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Cheeky Dictator Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about dictator you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean president jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make dictator prank.

Question: Do yo know what America does with all it's circumcision's.

Answer: We send them to Cuba where they grow dictators

Did you hear about the foreign government growing potatoes in their f**...?

Bunch of dictators.

What Italian dictator is either the strongest, or the fishiest?

Benito Muscle-ini or Benito Mussel-ini

r**... Logic Joke

Two r**..., Hunter and c**... decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic.
"What's logic?" the c**... asked.
The counselor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a w**... eater?"
"I sure do."
"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the counselor.
"That's real good!" said c**....
The counselor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."
Impressed, c**... said, "Amazing!"
"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."
"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!"
c**... was catching on.
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the counselor.
"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"
c**..., proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Hunter was still waiting.
"So what classes are ya takin'?" asked Hunter.
"Math, history, and logic!" replied c**....
"What in tarnation is logic?" asked Hunter.
"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a w**... eater?" asked c**....
"No," Hunter replied.
"Then you're gay."

I saw your "a woman walks into a store joke" and this is mine

A woman walks into a pet store and sees three parrots. She asks the cashier how much is the first parrot and he says, "This parrot costs $500".
"$500? Why is it so expensive?"
"This parrot can dance, sing, say 300 words and can send emails over the web"
"really? wow! and how much for the second one?"
"$2000!"
"$2000?"
"Yes, that parrot can dance, sing, say 1500 words, send emails, browse the web, use twitter and type texts you dictate on a computer"
"Wow, fantastic and what about the third one?"
"The third one costs $200,000".
"$200,000 ???? What does he do to cost that much?"
"absolute nothing."
"Nothing? and why does it costs $200,000"
"because the other two parrots call him boss".

What was h**...'s favorite drunk food?

Dictator-tots.

Why did the dictator's plane c**...?

It was stallin'

Lil' Rascals

read aloud for best effect ...
Teacher stands in front of the class full of the Lil' Rascals.
She asks Darla to spell dictate.
Darla, "dictate: d-i-k-t-a-t. Dictate."
Sorry Darla that is incorrect.
Teacher asks Buckwheat.
Buckwheat says, "dictate: d-i-c-t-a-t-e. Dictate."
"very good Buckwheat," says the teacher. "now can you use it in a sentence?"
"Sure," says Buckwheat, "Darla says my dictate good"

Why do Communist Dictators have trouble getting their work done on time?

They're way too into Stalin

I heard this joke from a foreign tour woman of a museum of Communism in Russia...

[Apparently this was a real joke told by anti-communist citizens when Stalin was dictator of the Soviet Union]
Have you tried Stalin bacon before?
*I'm not sure.. I don't think so...*
Well, I know for certain that you haven't - the pig's not dead yet.

Little Billy and Sarah are two finalists at the spelling bee...

Sarah is up first.
Prompter: Sarah, your word is dumb. Please spell it and use it in a sentence.
Sarah: D-U-M-B dumb. Billy is dumb.
Prompter: Good, now spell s**...
Sarah: S-T-U-P-I-D s**.... Billy is s**....
Prompter: Correct, now Billy, spell dictate
Billy: D-I-C-T-A-T-E dictate. Sarah might say I'm dumb and s**..., but she also say my dic-tate good.

A geneticist was unhappy with the result when he spliced potato DNA with that of his own g**....

Nobody likes dictators

Mike Tyson is hosting a spelling bee

A contestant approaches the stage and Mike says, "the word is dictate"
The contestant thinks for a second, clearly pondering the spelling of the word. "Dictate... Mike, could you please use that in a sentence?"
Mike smoothly replies, "Well of course. When I was in prison, Maurice told me that my dictate good"

The little rascals are having a spelling test.

The teacher calls on Buckwheat and gives him the word "dictate" buckwheat replies " dictate, d.i.c.t.a.t.e." The teacher says very good now use it in a sentence please. He thinks about it for a second then says "Hey Darla how did my dic tate last night".

Joke Time 2

To surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office.
When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, "And in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."

Which African Dictator extorts flying insects

Robert Mug-a-bee

What did the Libyan Dictator's wife say when she didn't want to have s**...?

Muammar Gedoffame!

What do you call an obnoxious potato?

A dictator.

Did you know Stalin got hit in the groin with a potato when he was young?

That's how he became a dictator.

Two scientists walk into a bar.

"I'll have H2O," says the first.
"I'll have H2O, too," says the second.
The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position, as well as pragmatic context.

Why did Soviet dictator always drive an automatic transmission?

He was always Stalin in his manual!

I don't see how someone could mourn the loss of a Chinese dictator.

It just seems unbereaveable to me.

If Chef Boyardee was a dictator what would he name his secret police?

Gazpacho

Everyone says h**... was a bad guy

But he killed one of the worst dictators of all time so he can't be all bad.

I found a potato shaped like Fidel Castro

It's a dictator.

A history professor was given a boring lecture about Russian dictators

Finally, an exasperated student exclaimed,"stop, you're putin me to sleep"

What do you call Mussolini's flying saucer?

A dictator ship.

What do you call a homeless h**...?

A roofless dictator.

Trump & Trudeau

Donald Trump and Justin Trudeau were we discussing politics when Donald leans in close and says:
Donald: You know Justin, if the US were a Dictatorship I would be a Dictator.
Justin: Yea, I suppose so Donald.
Donald: And you know if the US were a Monarchy I would be a Monarch.
Justin: That's also true Don, but I hate to break it to you, the US is a Country.

What's a cat's favorite dictator?

Mao

What do you call a p**... potato?

A dictator.

Milkin' it.

I walked into the living room to see my wife breast feeding our son.
Being curious, I asked: "how long are you going to keep doing this, honey? I mean at what age is it too old for him?"
"Well, I think it's necessary to have quality bonding time between mother and child, and usually societal norms dictate this age aught to be ..."
I got impatient again: "Shut up son, i was talking to your mother. "

News: Trump would be honoured to meet North Korean dictator.

He's my kind of guy — crazy, overweight and has a ridiculous haircut. Said North Korea's dictator.

Who was the sweetest dictator?

Chairman Maoam

Why did the Russian dictator take so long to respond?

He was Stalin.

Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome?

He was the only one with the Gaul to try it.

What's a dictator's least favourite band?

The Guerillaz

What did Stalin eat for breakfast?

Dictator-tots

Why does the dictator like to go shopping in the early morning?

Because he loves to beat the crowds.

What do you call it when a Cambodian dictator opens up a restaurant in his Cannabis plantation?

Pol p**...'s p**... Plot Hot p**....

A husband and wife are getting ready for a costume party. Since they have nothing on hand to wear for the event, the husband suggests to his wife that she should put a lemon between her legs as he puts the potato between his. Confused, she asks what it's all about.

The husband says, "Honey, you be the sourpuss, and I'll be the dictator."

Due to the amount of coincidence that happened for h**... to become a dictator

We can safley assume that if there is a god, he sure isn't jewish

h**... was a pretty good leader

He killed a dictator that killed and tortured millions of people that then ended WW2

Why is it impolite to say Donald Trump is a racist, con man and a cheat?

Ettiquete dictates you say, "President Donald Trump is a racist, con man and a cheat."

Overhead in a country ruled by a dictator

Citizen: What happened to freedom of speech in this country?
Dictator: Freedom of speech has always been guaranteed in this country. It is freedom after speech which we can't guarantee

A dictator walks into a bar...

He orders everybody shots.

A phallus shaped potato ruled the world with an iron fist.

He was a Dic-tater.

What did the Italian Dictator say to those dang Allies?

Get off Mi-Lan!

What is a dictators best magic trick?

They make people disappear.

Help, I'm a Democrat who has a very specific f**... of looking at foreign dictators resting on top of crackers and I'm looking for people into the same as me...

So if you're Blue and you don't know what to search for why don't you look were Fascists sits... Putin on the Ritz

The ghost of Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin...

appears before Russian president Vladimir Putin and says, I've got two pieces of advice for you; kill your political opponents and paint the Kremlin blue.
Putin ponders this for awhile, then replies, Why blue?

h**..., Stalin, and Mussolini were on a boat.

It was quite a powerful dictator ship.

What do you call an authoritarian couch potato?

A dictator tot

I have only one rule when it comes to attire

I dress to meet the bare minimum standards that any given occasion dictates.
I call it...
Occam's Blazer.

Life hacks from Secretary Stalin, don't dress for the job you want. Use the job you have to create a totalitarian dictatorship to crush your enemies.

*this joke exists because I found out Stalin's title during his reign was Secretary. During the power struggles his opponents wanted to give him a menial job to side line him. But he realized he controlled who got invitations to meeting, what was on the agenda, and when they should happen. Leading to his total d**... of the communist party as a dictator.

What do we want? A Chinese dictator!

When do we want it? Mao!

Guy goes to a costume party dressed in a Speedo with a potato in the front. He knocks on the door of the party and the host says what are you suppose to be?

He says, I'm a dictator

What's a dictator's favorite debating technique?

Stalin

Who was the strongest dictator?

Muscle-ini

Dictator joke, Who was the strongest dictator?

jokes about dictator

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these dictator jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.