The Best 81 Dictator Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dictator jokes. There are some dictator regime jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dictator sourpuss puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Dictator Jokes and Puns

What Italian dictator is either the strongest, or the fishiest?

Benito Muscle-ini or Benito Mussel-ini

Did you hear about the procrastinating dictator?

He was stalin.

What did the Middle Eastern dictator say after he had lunch?

I ate too many chickpeas, now I falafel.

I was tired of the fascist dictator who ran the Bird Imitators Society..

So I took control with a violent coup.

jokes about dictator

I heard this joke from a foreign tour woman of a museum of Communism in Russia...

[Apparently this was a real joke told by anti-communist citizens when Stalin was dictator of the Soviet Union]

Have you tried Stalin bacon before?

*I'm not sure.. I don't think so...*

Well, I know for certain that you haven't - the pig's not dead yet.


A lot of people say that Kim Jong Un is a terrible dictator....

but I worked as a secretary in his administration for several years, and found his speech to be clear, concise and well paced

Did you hear about the guy who went to Halloween with a potato in his pants?

He went as a dictator.

Dictator joke, Did you hear about the guy who went to Halloween with a potato in his pants?

What Roman dictator suffered from Epilepsy?

Julius Seizure.

I heard that roles in leadership positions are good jobs...

...but tell that to Kim Jong Un, he's a dictator with a failing Korea

What do you call a mean Potato?

A Dictator.

This Heat is Like a Middle Eastern Dictator...

This Heat is Like a Middle Eastern Dictator. It's oppressive, you can't get away from it, and I'm pretty sure we can blame the U.S. for it.

You can explore dictator dicktater reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dictator stalin dad jokes. There are also dictator puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Which African Dictator extorts flying insects

Robert Mug-a-bee

A rouge English cavalier from the Middle Ages is magically sent into the future to depose Thailand's most ruthless dictator.

One knight in Bangkok makes a hard man humble.

This Halloween, I put a potato in my pants and ordered people around.

I was a dictator.

What do you call an obnoxious potato?

A dictator.

Did you know Stalin got hit in the groin with a potato when he was young?

That's how he became a dictator.

Dictator joke, Did you know Stalin got hit in the groin with a potato when he was young?

The Middle East

Where you have to chose between a genocidal dictator or an extremist mob.

(Well, except Turkey; they got it mostly together)

Dictator

Who's the dictator who loves playing card games?

Kim Jong Uno.

What do you call a dictator running a bookshop?

The Supreme Reader.


The dictator forced everyone to work in the butter industry.

Some men just want to watch the world churn.

What do you call toddlers who are dictators?

Dictator Tots

Who's the dictator that reports on youtube drama?

Keem Jong Un.

Why did Soviet dictator always drive an automatic transmission?

He was always Stalin in his manual!

I don't see how someone could mourn the loss of a Chinese dictator.

It just seems unbereaveable to me.

What do you call the North Korean dictator?

Seouless

What do you get when you cross a hotdog and a potato?

A dictator.

Dictator joke, What do you get when you cross a hotdog and a potato?

If Chef Boyardee was a dictator what would he name his secret police?

Gazpacho

I found a potato shaped like Fidel Castro

It's a dictator.

What did the ISIS recruiter say to the Cuban dictator?

You're in Fidel


Why is North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un so ruthless?

He doesn't have a Seoul.

Tatars

If a commentator is an ordinary potato and a spectator is a potato with glasses, what's a dictator?

A potato named Richard

What do you call Mussolini's flying saucer?

A dictator ship.

What do you call a homeless Hitler?

A roofless dictator.

Trump & Trudeau

Donald Trump and Justin Trudeau were we discussing politics when Donald leans in close and says:

Donald: You know Justin, if the US were a Dictatorship I would be a Dictator.

Justin: Yea, I suppose so Donald.

Donald: And you know if the US were a Monarchy I would be a Monarch.

Justin: That's also true Don, but I hate to break it to you, the US is a Country.


What's a cat's favorite dictator?

Mao

What do you call a Roman dictator having an epileptic fit?

Julius Seizure

What do you call a phallic potato?

A dictator.

Why is the North Korean dictator so evil?

Because he has no Seoul.

News: Trump would be honoured to meet North Korean dictator.

He's my kind of guy β€” crazy, overweight and has a ridiculous haircut. Said North Korea's dictator.

What Is a Dictator Dinosaur Called

Tyrant-O-Saurus

Who was the sweetest dictator?

Chairman Maoam

Why did the Russian dictator take so long to respond?

He was Stalin.

Why was Julius Caesar the first dictator of Rome?

He was the only one with the Gaul to try it.

Why did everyone hate their potato overlord?

Because he was a dictator.

How do dictators travel on the sea?

In dictatorships.

Which dictator is a cat's favorite?

Mao

Have you heard of Richard Potato?

He's a dictator.

Why did the dictator ban carousel rides in his country?

He deemed them revolutionary.

What do you call a bossy potato?

A dictator

What do you get when a samurai crosses swords with a Roman dictator?

A Caesar salad.

Happy belated Ides of March, everybody!

What do you call a robot-german dictator?

An autokraut

Can he tame the crazy dictator from the North?

The whole world is hoping for Kim Jong-Un.

Who is the fastest dictator ?

Hussein Bolt

Why does the dictator like to go shopping in the early morning?

Because he loves to beat the crowds.

What do you call it when a Cambodian dictator opens up a restaurant in his Cannabis plantation?

Pol Pot's Pot Plot Hot Pot.

After the death of Dictator Castro,

Cuba went into a state of high inFidelity.

A husband and wife are getting ready for a costume party. Since they have nothing on hand to wear for the event, the husband suggests to his wife that she should put a lemon between her legs as he puts the potato between his. Confused, she asks what it's all about.

The husband says, "Honey, you be the sourpuss, and I'll be the dictator."

Due to the amount of coincidence that happened for Hitler to become a dictator

We can safley assume that if there is a god, he sure isn't jewish

How do you find a dictator on a map?

X marks despot.

What is every cats favourite Dictator?

Mao.

Hitler was a pretty good leader

He killed a dictator that killed and tortured millions of people that then ended WW2

Do you know what a dictator is?

An evil tater tot.

Overhead in a country ruled by a dictator

Citizen: What happened to freedom of speech in this country?

Dictator: Freedom of speech has always been guaranteed in this country. It is freedom after speech which we can't guarantee

A dictator walks into a bar...

He orders everybody shots.

What did the Italian Dictator say to those dang Allies?

Get off Mi-Lan!

There's a rumour that North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un is dead.

But personally, I think he's just Kim Jong Un-well

What is a dictators best magic trick?

They make people disappear.

What do you call weed you bought from a southeast Asian dictator on 4chan?

/Pol/ pot

Why is Kim Jong Un such an evil dictator?

Because he has no Seoul.

I've been doing some research into my family tree, and it turns out my Great Grandfather was a terrible dictator.

Apparently none of his secretaries understood a word he said.

The ghost of Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin...

appears before Russian president Vladimir Putin and says, I've got two pieces of advice for you; kill your political opponents and paint the Kremlin blue.

Putin ponders this for awhile, then replies, Why blue?

Hitler, Stalin, and Mussolini were on a boat.

It was quite a powerful dictator ship.

What do you call an authoritarian couch potato?

A dictator tot

What do you call it when a Russian dictator procrastinates?

Stalin'

What do we want? A Chinese dictator!

When do we want it? Mao!

Guy goes to a costume party dressed in a Speedo with a potato in the front. He knocks on the door of the party and the host says what are you suppose to be?

He says, I'm a dictator

Who was the strongest dictator?

Muscle-ini

What do you call a German dictator with a really bad case of diarrhea?

Shitler.

What do you get when you cross a president with a potato?

A dictator.

Who is Canada's favorite dictator?

Vladimir Poutine

What do you call a Canadian dictator?

Vladimir Poutine.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dictator dicktator puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dictator fidel piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes