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Dictate Jokes

28 dictate jokes and hilarious dictate puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dictate that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Dictate Short Jokes

Short dictate jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dictate humour may include short mandate jokes also.

  1. I've managed 434 days, 12 hours, 47 minutes and 17 seconds of sobriety. I'm so glad alcohol doesn't dictate my life any more.
  2. Mike Tyson was arrested at a 5th grade sitting bee his first time judging The word was Dictate.
    [Spelling Bee Contestant] Can you use it in a sentence?
    [Mike Tyson] She liked the way my Dictate
  3. There's a rumour that North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un is dead. But personally, I think he's just Kim Jong Un-well
  4. What do you call a potato that becomes US President and silences the news, silences government agencies, silences government funded science and ends international treaties? A dic-tater.
  5. This Heat is Like a Middle Eastern Dictator... This Heat is Like a Middle Eastern Dictator. It's oppressive, you can't get away from it, and I'm pretty sure we can blame the U.S. for it.
  6. I've been doing some research into my family tree, and it turns out my Great Grandfather was a terrible dictator. Apparently none of his secretaries understood a word he said.
  7. What did the Middle Eastern dictator say after he had lunch? I ate too many chickpeas, now I falafel.
  8. What do you call a fascist potato? A dictater.
  9. Why did the dictator ban carousel rides in his country? He deemed them revolutionary.
  10. Why did everyone hate their potato overlord? Because he was a dictator.

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Dictate One Liners

Which dictate one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dictate? I can suggest the ones about dictator and diction.

  1. Why is the North korean dictator so evil? Because he has no Seoul.
  2. Why is North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un so ruthless? He doesn't have a Seoul.
  3. What do you call a dictator who can't drive a manual transmission? Stalin
  4. Did you hear about the procrastinating dictator? He was stalin.
  5. What do you call a mean Potato? A Dictator.
  6. What do you get when you cross a president with a potato? A dictator.
  7. Kim Jong Un is currently.. The Shrodingers cat of dictators.
  8. What do you get when you cross a hotdog and a potato? A dictator.
  9. What do you call it when a Russian dictator procrastinates? Stalin'
  10. What Roman dictator suffered from Epilepsy? Julius Seizure.
  11. What do you call a Canadian dictator? Vladimir Poutine.
  12. How do dictators travel on the sea? In dictatorships.
  13. What do you call a dictator running a bookshop? The Supreme Reader.
  14. This Halloween, I put a potato in my pants and ordered people around. I was a dictator.
  15. What do you call a Roman dictator having an epileptic fit? Julius Seizure

Dictate joke, What do you call a Roman dictator having an epileptic fit?

Amusing Dictate Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about dictate you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean recite jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dictate pranks.

Two scientists walk into a bar.

"I'll have H2O," says the first.
"I'll have H2O, too," says the second.
The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position, as well as pragmatic context.

Milkin' it.

I walked into the living room to see my wife breast feeding our son.
Being curious, I asked: "how long are you going to keep doing this, honey? I mean at what age is it too old for him?"
"Well, I think it's necessary to have quality bonding time between mother and child, and usually societal norms dictate this age aught to be ..."
I got impatient again: "Shut up son, i was talking to your mother. "

Mike Tyson is hosting a spelling bee

A contestant approaches the stage and Mike says, "the word is dictate"
The contestant thinks for a second, clearly pondering the spelling of the word. "Dictate... Mike, could you please use that in a sentence?"
Mike smoothly replies, "Well of course. When I was in prison, Maurice told me that my dictate good"

Lil' Rascals

read aloud for best effect ...
Teacher stands in front of the class full of the Lil' Rascals.
She asks Darla to spell dictate.
Darla, "dictate: d-i-k-t-a-t. Dictate."
Sorry Darla that is incorrect.
Teacher asks Buckwheat.
Buckwheat says, "dictate: d-i-c-t-a-t-e. Dictate."
"very good Buckwheat," says the teacher. "now can you use it in a sentence?"
"Sure," says Buckwheat, "Darla says my dictate good"

Little Billy and Sarah are two finalists at the spelling bee...

Sarah is up first.
Prompter: Sarah, your word is dumb. Please spell it and use it in a sentence.
Sarah: D-U-M-B dumb. Billy is dumb.
Prompter: Good, now spell s**...
Sarah: S-T-U-P-I-D s**.... Billy is s**....
Prompter: Correct, now Billy, spell dictate
Billy: D-I-C-T-A-T-E dictate. Sarah might say I'm dumb and s**..., but she also say my dic-tate good.

The little rascals are having a spelling test.

The teacher calls on Buckwheat and gives him the word "dictate" buckwheat replies " dictate, d.i.c.t.a.t.e." The teacher says very good now use it in a sentence please. He thinks about it for a second then says "Hey Darla how did my dic tate last night".

Teacher: "Use the word 'dictate' in a sentence."

Buckwheat: "Carla say my dictate good."

Use this word in a sentence...

Teacher: "Okay, Buckwheat, use 'dictate' in a sentence."
Buckwheat: "Carla say my dictate good."

Why did the President s**... off Putin?

Because his dictate good.

Bored on lunch, here's one I tell often.

Two h**... kids.. Darla and Buckwheat are at school The teacher asks Darla, 'How do you spell 'dumb'?"
Darla says, "d-u-m-b, dumb."
The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence."
She responds, "Buckwheat is dumb."
"Now spell s**...'."
Darla says, "s-t-u-p-i-d."
The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence."
Darla says, "Buckwheat is s**...."
Then the teacher calls on Buckwheat and asks, "Buckwheat, spell dictate."
Buckwheat stands up and says, otay, "d-i-c-t-a-t-e, dictate."
The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in the a sentence."
"I may be dumb, I may be s**..., but Darla says my dictate good!"

The Little Rascals do some spelling

The Little Rascals are sitting in class one day when the teacher decides it's time to do some spelling. She says "okay students it's time to spell our word of the day. Today's word is DICTATE. Who thinks they can spell it?"
Spanky, being the leader that he is, raises his hand first "I can teacher!"
-"Ok spanky, go ahead"
-"Dictate. D-y-c.."
The teacher interrupts him and says "sorry Spanky but that's incorrect. Anyone else?"
-"I think I can!" proclaims Alfalfa.
-"Alright Alfalfa, go ahead" says teacher.
-"Dictate. D-i-t-c.."
Again, teacher interrupts Alfalfa "sorry Alfalfa but that's also incorrect. "Anybody else?"
-"I'll try" says Buckwheat.
-"Alright Buckwheat go ahead" says the teacher
-Buckwheat starts "Dictate. D-i-c-t-a-t-e, dictate."
-"Good job Buckwheat!" says the teacher. "Now can you use it in a sentence?"
Buckwheat thinks for a moment then looks over at Darla and says
"HEY DARLA! HOW MY DICTATE LAST NIGHT???"

Dictate joke, The Little Rascals do some spelling