Dictate Jokes
27 dictate jokes and hilarious dictate puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dictate that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Dictate Short Jokes
Short dictate jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dictate humour may include short mandate jokes also.
- I've managed 434 days, 12 hours, 47 minutes and 17 seconds of sobriety. I'm so glad alcohol doesn't dictate my life any more.
- Mike Tyson was arrested at a 5th grade sitting bee his first time judging The word was Dictate.
[Spelling Bee Contestant] Can you use it in a sentence?
[Mike Tyson] She liked the way my Dictate - There's a rumour that North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un is dead. But personally, I think he's just Kim Jong Un-well
- What do you call a potato that becomes US President and silences the news, silences government agencies, silences government funded science and ends international treaties? A dic-tater.
- I've been doing some research into my family tree, and it turns out my Great Grandfather was a terrible dictator. Apparently none of his secretaries understood a word he said.
- What did the Middle Eastern dictator say after he had lunch? I ate too many chickpeas, now I falafel.
- Did you know Stalin got hit in the groin with a potato when he was young? That's how he became a dictator.
- What's a dictator's favorite debating technique? Stalin
- Why does the dictator like to go shopping in the early morning? Because he loves to beat the crowds.
- What's a dictator's least favourite band? The Guerillaz
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Dictate One Liners
Which dictate one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dictate? I can suggest the ones about dictator and diction.
- Why is North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un so ruthless? He doesn't have a Seoul.
- What do you call a dictator who can't drive a manual transmission? Stalin
- Did you hear about the procrastinating dictator? He was stalin.
- What do you call a mean Potato? A Dictator.
- What do you get when you cross a president with a potato? A dictator.
- Kim Jong Un is currently.. The Shrodingers cat of dictators.
- What do you call it when a Russian dictator procrastinates? Stalin'
- What do you call a Canadian dictator? Vladimir Poutine.
- How do dictators travel on the sea? In dictatorships.
- What do you call a dictator running a bookshop? The Supreme Reader.
- This Halloween, I put a potato in my pants and ordered people around. I was a dictator.
- What do you call a Roman dictator having an epileptic fit? Julius Seizure
- Why did the dictator ban carousel rides in his country? He deemed them revolutionary.
- Why did everyone hate their potato overlord? Because he was a dictator.
- Why doesn't Putin use his own hands when he sends a text? 'Cause he's more of a dictator.
Amusing Dictate Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about dictate you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean recite jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dictate pranks.
Two scientists walk into a bar.
"I'll have H2O," says the first.
"I'll have H2O, too," says the second.
The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position, as well as pragmatic context.
Lil' Rascals
read aloud for best effect ...
Teacher stands in front of the class full of the Lil' Rascals.
She asks Darla to spell dictate.
Darla, "dictate: d-i-k-t-a-t. Dictate."
Sorry Darla that is incorrect.
Teacher asks Buckwheat.
Buckwheat says, "dictate: d-i-c-t-a-t-e. Dictate."
"very good Buckwheat," says the teacher. "now can you use it in a sentence?"
"Sure," says Buckwheat, "Darla says my dictate good"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Billy and Sarah are two finalists at the spelling bee...
Sarah is up first.
Prompter: Sarah, your word is dumb. Please spell it and use it in a sentence.
Sarah: D-U-M-B dumb. Billy is dumb.
Prompter: Good, now spell s**...
Sarah: S-T-U-P-I-D s**.... Billy is s**....
Prompter: Correct, now Billy, spell dictate
Billy: D-I-C-T-A-T-E dictate. Sarah might say I'm dumb and s**..., but she also say my dic-tate good.
Teacher: "Use the word 'dictate' in a sentence."
Buckwheat: "Carla say my dictate good."
Use this word in a sentence...
Teacher: "Okay, Buckwheat, use 'dictate' in a sentence."
Buckwheat: "Carla say my dictate good."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the President s**... off Putin?
Because his dictate good.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bored on lunch, here's one I tell often.
Two h**... kids.. Darla and Buckwheat are at school The teacher asks Darla, 'How do you spell 'dumb'?"
Darla says, "d-u-m-b, dumb."
The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence."
She responds, "Buckwheat is dumb."
"Now spell s**...'."
Darla says, "s-t-u-p-i-d."
The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence."
Darla says, "Buckwheat is s**...."
Then the teacher calls on Buckwheat and asks, "Buckwheat, spell dictate."
Buckwheat stands up and says, otay, "d-i-c-t-a-t-e, dictate."
The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in the a sentence."
"I may be dumb, I may be s**..., but Darla says my dictate good!"
The Little Rascals do some spelling
The Little Rascals are sitting in class one day when the teacher decides it's time to do some spelling. She says "okay students it's time to spell our word of the day. Today's word is DICTATE. Who thinks they can spell it?"
Spanky, being the leader that he is, raises his hand first "I can teacher!"
-"Ok spanky, go ahead"
-"Dictate. D-y-c.."
The teacher interrupts him and says "sorry Spanky but that's incorrect. Anyone else?"
-"I think I can!" proclaims Alfalfa.
-"Alright Alfalfa, go ahead" says teacher.
-"Dictate. D-i-t-c.."
Again, teacher interrupts Alfalfa "sorry Alfalfa but that's also incorrect. "Anybody else?"
-"I'll try" says Buckwheat.
-"Alright Buckwheat go ahead" says the teacher
-Buckwheat starts "Dictate. D-i-c-t-a-t-e, dictate."
-"Good job Buckwheat!" says the teacher. "Now can you use it in a sentence?"
Buckwheat thinks for a moment then looks over at Darla and says
"HEY DARLA! HOW MY DICTATE LAST NIGHT???"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Buckwheat and Sally were fooling around in class...
...when the teacher rapped her wooden pointer down on the desk.
"Alright class, who can spell the word 'dictate?'"
"I can! I can!" Buckwheat said, waving his arm up in the air.
"Don't be silly Buckwheat. You don't even know how to spell."
"I do. I do, teacher. I know how to 'pell."
"Alright then. How do you spell dictate?"
"Um...d...i...c...t..a...t...e. Dictate."
"That's really good, Buckwheat. I'm really proud of you. And can you use it in a sentence?"
"y**... I can. y**... I can, teacher. Hey Tally, how my dictate la't night?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Jimmy and Suzy are in class when their teacher begins to go over grammar and sentences.
The teacher looks at Suzy first and says
"Suzy can you use the word s**... in a sentence?
"Yes I can. Jimmy is very s**...."
"Great!" said the teacher. "Now can you use ugly in a sentence?"
"Jimmy is very ugly."
The teacher turns to Jimmy and says "Can you upstage her, Jimmy? Try using the word dictate in a sentence."
Jimmy looks at the teacher and without missing a beat says "I may be ugly and I may be s**..., but Suzy says my dictate good."
