Dick Jokes

What are some Dick jokes?

What has 3 dicks and is suicidal?

Me with 2 dicks in my mouth.

Dicks are like paychecks.

You never know how yours compares to others but you always hope it's a little bigger.

I wish dicks were more like technology

So I could brag about how small mine is

Dicks and vaginas are sorta like Coke and Pepsi

I strongly prefer one, but my dad thinks they taste the same.


Dickbutt is probably an alcoholic.

He's always got a cocktail.

Dicksuckers Cramp

Guy 1: "You know what this face is?"

*Holds mouth open in an O*

Guy 2: "No, what?"

Guy 1: "Dicksuckers Cramp, get it?"

Guy 2: "Yeah"

Guy 1: "How often?"

Heineken free beer joke

I just pulled in a quick trip today and this guy says to me. "Hey, do you want a free twelve pack of Heineken?"
Me "Yeah, sure I will take it."
He says "Come over here. You can have a twelve-pack of Heineken if you let me touch your dick."
I was "Touch my dick?! What do you mean?"
He answered, "I want to hold it, grab it, pad it..."

After this, I said "Dude, total fuckers out there" while drinking my Heineken.

Two dicks

I walked past a K9 police unit ghe other day and said to my girlfriend: Look, this doggy is walking around with two dicks.

To my credit, both policemen checked under the doggo before attempting to chase me.

Why are dicks like Diamonds?

Massive oversupply with artificial market restrictions in place. Everyone who has one thinks they are unique, and if one is in your hand you're expected to mention its size,

and fake ones are often just as good

Dicks Sporting Goods stores have all have a summer sports section in their parking lot that is packed up in the winter months, making the stores a bit smaller.

Meaning Dicks shrink when it's cold.

2 Dicks Walking Down the Street

So there are these two dicks walking down the street. One sees a gay bar, so he says to the other: "Hey man, you wanna go get shitfaced?"

Why are dicks like quantum particles

Measuring them changes the result

Dicks are like cake mixture

The more you beat em

the thicker they get

What do Dicks and School have in common

There both long and hard unless you are Asian

How many dicks do you have to suck before you know you're gay?

Three, two for fun and one just to make sure.

Dicks are designed well...

They can really take a beating.

How much does Dickbutt make an hour?

Minimeme wage

My Dicks Nickname is Bing

Because noone ever uses it.

If dickbutt was a bird.

It would be a cockatoo.

How to make Dick jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Dick to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Dick? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Dick pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes