The Best 24 Dick Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dick jokes. There are some dick ass jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dick pecker puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Dick Jokes and Puns

2 Dicks Walking Down the Street

So there are these two dicks walking down the street. One sees a gay bar, so he says to the other: "Hey man, you wanna go get shitfaced?"

Dickbutt is probably an alcoholic.

He's always got a cocktail.

Why are dicks like quantum particles

Measuring them changes the result

Dick joke, Why are dicks like quantum particles

What do Dicks and School have in common

There both long and hard unless you are Asian

I wish dicks were more like technology

So I could brag about how small mine is

Dicksuckers Cramp

Guy 1: "You know what this face is?"

*Holds mouth open in an O*

Guy 2: "No, what?"

Guy 1: "Dicksuckers Cramp, get it?"

Guy 2: "Yeah"

Guy 1: "How often?"

How much does Dickbutt make an hour?

Minimeme wage

Dick joke, How much does Dickbutt make an hour?

How many dicks do you have to suck before you know you're gay?

Three, two for fun and one just to make sure.

My Dicks Nickname is Bing

Because noone ever uses it.

If dickbutt was a bird.

It would be a cockatoo.

What has 3 dicks and is suicidal?

Me with 2 dicks in my mouth.

You can explore dick nsfw reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dick dik dad jokes. There are also dick puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Dicks are like cake mixture

The more you beat em

the thicker they get

Dicks and vaginas are sorta like Coke and Pepsi

I strongly prefer one, but my dad thinks they taste the same.


Dicks are like paychecks.

You never know how yours compares to others but you always hope it's a little bigger.

Dicks are designed well...

They can really take a beating.

Dicks Sporting Goods stores have all have a summer sports section in their parking lot that is packed up in the winter months, making the stores a bit smaller.

Meaning Dicks shrink when it's cold.

Dick joke, Dicks Sporting Goods stores have all have a summer sports section in their parking lot that is packe

Why are dicks like Diamonds?

Massive oversupply with artificial market restrictions in place. Everyone who has one thinks they are unique, and if one is in your hand you're expected to mention its size,

and fake ones are often just as good

Two dicks walked into an office...

Did I say office? I meant orifice

How did the Dickbutts win their soccer match?

They came from behind.

Two dicks

I walked past a K9 police unit ghe other day and said to my girlfriend: Look, this doggy is walking around with two dicks.

To my credit, both policemen checked under the doggo before attempting to chase me.

Heineken free beer joke

I just pulled in a quick trip today and this guy says to me. "Hey, do you want a free twelve pack of Heineken?"
Me "Yeah, sure I will take it."
He says "Come over here. You can have a twelve-pack of Heineken if you let me touch your dick."
I was "Touch my dick?! What do you mean?"
He answered, "I want to hold it, grab it, pad it..."

After this, I said "Dude, total fuckers out there" while drinking my Heineken.

I like my jokes the way I like dick

Dark and unexpected

Dickens " A tale of two cities " was originally published in two local newspapers.

It was the Bicester times, it was the Worcester times...

Dickens: I wrote a book about ghosts

**Publisher:** we need a christmas book

**Dickens:** *[adding, like, 4 words]* I wrote a book about christmas ghosts

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dick dick cheney jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dick zip dick piss piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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