The Best 37 Dicaprio Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dicaprio jokes. There are some dicaprio neeson jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dicaprio leonardo dicaprio oscar puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Dicaprio Jokes and Puns

George Clooney, Leonardo Dicaprio and Matthew Mcconaughey got together to make a movie...

George Clooney said, "I'll direct."

Dicaprio said, "I'll produce."

And Matthew McConaughey said, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."

When I first meet someone I always want to talk about that movie with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio...

but the Titanic is a terrible ice breaker.

What do a common garbage can and Leonardo DiCaprio have in common?

No Oscar!

Dicaprio joke, What do a common garbage can and Leonardo DiCaprio have in common?

I bet if Leornardo DiCaprio has a kid...

he names it Oscar so he can finally have one.

What's the difference between Leonardo Dicaprio and Sesame Street?

Sesame Street has an Oscar.


I keep trying to explain a joke to Leonardo DiCaprio about the Oscars...

but he never get it.

Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page set to star in a sci-fi adaptation of Colin Kaepernick's career.

*Interception*

Dicaprio joke, Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page set to star in a sci-fi adaptation of Colin Kaepernick's career.

Leo's First Oscar

Leonardo DiCaprio in the delivery room.
Leo: "What is it doc?!"

Doctor: "It's a bo-"

Leo: "NO! NO! LIKE WE REHEARSED!"

*Doctor sighs, handing the baby boy to Leo*

Doctor: "And the "Oscar" goes to Leonardo DiCaprio for the role of Father in Conception.

Leonardo DiCaprio slept in animal carcass in the name of acting...

That's nothing. I slept with a carcass for 3 years before my divorce.

A Swedish bartender is found to be the spitting image of Leonardo DiCaprio

As it turns out, they have the same amount of Oscars, too.

Why did Leonardo DiCaprio visit Sesame Street?

It was his only chance to see an Oscar

You can explore dicaprio role reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dicaprio script dad jokes. There are also dicaprio puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What's the difference between a South African prison and Leonardo Dicaprio?

A South African prison has an Oscar

The Revenant: How do you call a scalped Leonardo DiCaprio?

Leonardo DiCabrio

What do Leonardo DiCaprio & anyone who buys a Powerball ticket have in common?

Their odds of winning are the same

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

When I'm feeling down.

I just remind myself that I've won just as many Oscars as Leonardo Dicaprio

Dicaprio joke, When I'm feeling down.

What do Leonardo Dicaprio Babe Ruth have in common?

They both won when neither of them were competing against black people!

Let us all bow our heads in a moment of silence...

For all the "DiCaprio not winning an Oscar" jokes we can no longer repost. Link your favorites here in Memoriam...

I once told DiCaprio a joke about the Oscars

It took him a while but he finally got it.

*edit of an existing joke*


I used to Remember Leonardo DiCaprio When I was feeling down.

Unfortunately I still remember him.

What did the helicopter propeller say to Leonardo DiCaprio?

"I'm not a real big fan."

Why DiCaprio was unhappy with recent science news

It's not cool, when you live whole life as Leo, and then it's suddenly Cancer

Christopher Nolan and Leo Dicaprio walk into a bar

and then they walk into another one

After DiCaprio got brain damage, he decided to quit acting and become a ballet dancer.

What a leotard.

I want to be like Leonardo DiCaprio from Inception.

He has a dream job.

Some actors were planning to make a movie on famous composers

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks were all making a movie about famous composers. Leo said, "I'd like to play Beethoven." Tom said, "I'd like to play Mozart." Arnie said "I'll be Bach"

George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Mathew McConaughey are in a coffee shop to discuss a new movie:

Clooney: I'll direct.

DiCaprio: I'll act.

McConaughey: I'll write, I'll write, I'll write.

Tom Hanks, Leonardo DiCaprio and Matthew McConaughey all decide to make a movie

Tom hanks says "I'll produce it"

Leonardo DiCaprio says "I'll direct it"

Matthew McConaughey says "I'll write I'll write I'll write"

What did Leonardo DiCaprio name his son?

Leonardo DiCapriSun

What's the difference between Leonardo DiCaprio and the Jews?

Leonardo DiCaprio didn't quit smoking.

A joke from work

Four famous actors get together and decide to dress up as famous artists for Halloween.

Leonardo DiCaprio says he'll go as Da Vinci since they have the same first name.

Tom Cruise says he'll go as Van Gogh so they have two painters.

Bill Murray says he'll go as Beethoven since he likes his music.

Arnold Schwarzenegger just looks at them and says "I'll be Bach."

George Clooney Leonardo DiCaprio and Matthew McConaughey get together to make a new film.

George Clooney says he's gonna direct Leonardo DiCaprio says he's gonna be the producer and Matthew McConaughey says I'll write I'll writte I'll write

My wife told me this one...

Leonardo DiCaprio, George Clooney and Matthew McConaughey are sitting around discussing a movie they want to make.

DiCaprio says I'll be the lead actor

Clooney says I guess I'll be the director then

McConaughey says I'll write, I'll write, I'll write

Matthew McConaughey, Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt decide to make a movie together.

Of course, they are going to need roles for each other, but none of them can decide what they want to do. They argue over this for hours, until Leonardo finally decides he wants to direct, since he is the best with cameras. Eventually, Brad Pitt decides he wants to produce, since he's the one with the most money. Now there's only one left; McConaughey. DiCaprio turns to him and says,

Well what does that leave you with?

Matthew thinks about this for a while, until he finally turns to the two of them.

I'll write, I'll write, I'll write.

Leonardo DiCaprio, George Clooney and Matthew McConaughey are sitting around discussing a movie they want to make.

DiCaprio says I'll be the lead actor
Clooney says I guess I'll be the director McConaughey says I'll write, I'll write, I'll write

George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matthew McConaughey get together to make a movie.

Clooney says, I'll direct.

DiCaprio says, I'll act.

McConaughey says, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write.

Clooney, Dicaprio, and McConaughey all want to put a movie together

Clooney says "I'll direct."

Dicaprio says "I'll act."

McConaughey says "I'll write I'll write I'll write."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dicaprio bru jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dicaprio leonardo dicaprio piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes