The Best 56 Diary Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Diary jokes. There are some diary notebook jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these diary diary of a wimpy kid puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Diary Jokes and Puns
My attractive female neighbor is completely paranoid.
She thinks I'm following or even stalking her, she is worried that I may be obsessed with her and any time she hears a noise in her house she is...purified? Oh, wait: petrified. Sorry, it's not easy reading a diary through binoculars from a tree.
According to my wife's diary,
I have boundary issues.
I read in my girlfriend's diary......
that I have real trust issues!! What a bunch of BS...
I feel sorry for Anne Frank...
First she gets her diary published, which is every girl's worst nightmare, but on top of that she doesn't get any money from it, which is every Jew's worst nightmare.
There was a pub quiz last week
And there was a round on Literature. The question was "Name the book where the characters all lived behind a wardrobe". Imagine the disgust when I shouted "The diary of Anne Frank"!
I feel bad for Anne Frank
She had her diary published for all the world to read, which is every girl's worst nightmare!
And she didn't get paid for it, which is every Jew's worst nightmare.
According to my roommate's diary, I have boundary issues.
I can't believe my roommate thinks I have boundary issues...
at least that's what her diary said.
My roommate's diary says I have boundary issues.
Roommates
Roommate 1: "You think I'm nosy, don't you?!"
Roommate 2: "No, not at all!"
Roommate 1: "Then why'd you write that in your diary?!"
My wife says I'm too nosy.
At least that's what she said in her diary.
You can explore diary likeable reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean diary scroll dad jokes. There are also diary puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
My brother told me he thinks I invade his privacy
Well he didn't actually tell me. I read it in his diary.
I went to the races yesterday.
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
My girlfriend is mad at me
According to her diary, I have "boundary issues".
My wife is mad at me.
Get this, her diary says I have boundary issues.
I'm working on a script for a horror movie.
It's called *my diary*
My roommate says I don't respect personal space.
That's at least what it says in his diary.
My wife thinks that I'm too nosy...
At least that's what she keeps scribbling in her diary.
According to my neighbor's diary,
I have "boundary issues".
Voldemort is like a teenage girl.
He has a diary, a tiara, a special cup, a pet he adores, and an obsession with a famous teenage boy.
My girlfriend says that I am snoopy.
But OK, maybe she meant it differently when she wrote it in her diary.
A woman is cleaning her daughters room when she stumbles upon her diary. She sees an entry that reads: "I lost my virginitty today"
The woman starts crying.
"How can this happen? I've given her everything. Why did she do this to me? She can't be serious about this. She's in 9th grade for gods sake. How does she not know how to spell virginity?"
I remember the old days...
When people would get mad if you read their diary. Now they post it online and get mad if you don't read it.
NOAH'S DIARY: Day 42...
NOAH'S DIARY: Day 42
Dragon steak for lunch, and Unicorn pie for dinner.
Why was the astronaut's diary blank?
It was filled with space.
The actress who played the lead role in the local theatre production of Anne Frank's Diary was so bad
That the scene where the Nazis entered the stage and said "where is she" the audience shouted "she's in the attic".
A man writing in his diary:
I am an ideal man. I don't smoke, drink, or go to night clubs. I have always been loyal to my wife and don't flirt with strange women. I sleep at eight o'clock and wake up early. I exercise daily and work regular hours. But all this will change as soon as I get out of prison.
I was really surprised when my friend said I was nosey....
...because they never mentioned that in their diary
My Neighbor is purified of me
Wait, not purified. Petrified. She's petrified. It's hard to read a diary through these binoculars.
My girlfriend said to me that she would break up with me for invading her privacy
Or at least that's what it said in her diary.
Dear Diary..
..today I ate Indian food and Taco bell.
Thus, I will call you "Dear Diarrea" for the next two days.
Dear Diary, I've got the best April fool's day prank planned for my friends.
I'm going to fake my death and return as a zombie! The looks on their faces will be priceless lolololol.
-Jesus
My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker
At least that's what I think she wrote in her diary... binoculars are hard to read through
My parents read the book I was writing. They said the man character wasn't likeable...
So, yeah, now I have a new hiding place for my diary.
My therapist recommended that I write in a diary to help my low self-esteem.
*Dear Diary,*
S*orry to bother you again.*
The thief that stole my diary and my Bible died today.
My thoughts and prayers are with his family.
My wife swears up and down that I'm too nosy
That's what she keeps writing in her diary anyways...
What do you call a fluid log of fluid logs?
A diarrhea diary.
To the guy that stole my diary, and then died,
My thoughts are with your family.
Here is a joke from the Soviet Union (also popular in other communist countries before 1989)
A CIA agent is sent on a spy mission to Moscow, Soviet Union. He goes to a grocery store and writes down in his diary "There is no food".
He then goes to a clothes shop and puts down in the diary "there are no shoes".
He goes out of the shop and a KGB agent waits for him outside. "You know, 10 years ago we would have shot you for that."
The CIA agent writes in his diary "There are no bullets".
My wife thinks I don't give her enough privacy.
At least that's what she said in her diary...
My wife does'nt think I respect her privacy enough.
Atleast that's what it says in her diary.
Hey, want a book full of jokes?
Here's a copy of my diary!
The guy who stole my diary has died.
My thoughts are with his family.
My crush thinks I'm a bit too invasive even at school.
That's what she wrote in her diary at her house anyway.
My buddy Frank is a HUGE fan of diarrhea. I was thinking of writing a book about him, but it looks like the title is already taken.
"The Diary of Anne Frank"
A daughter thinks I don't respect her privacy
Why would she write such stuff in her diary?
My wife thinks I'm nosy and I don't respect her privacy.
At least, that's what she wrote in her Diary.
Apparently I have boundary issues
Or at least thats what it says in my neighbours diary
My daughter thinks I don't respect her personal boundaries
Or at least that's what she wrote in her diary
My daughter thinks I'm nosy and controlling.
At least that's what she wrote in her diary.
I'm in trouble with my girlfriend.
According to her diary, I have "boundary issues".
My brother thinks I don't give him enough privacy.
That's what he wrote about me in his diary.
Somebody stole my diary and my rosary.
My thoughts and prayers are with them.
My wife says I'm nosy.
Well...at least that's what she wrote in her diary.
Someone stole my diary last week but they died a few days later.
My thoughts are with their family.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the diary daily jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working diary dear diary piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.