Diarrhea Jokes
156 diarrhea jokes and hilarious diarrhea puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about diarrhea that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
It's the jokes nobody wants to hear, the ones that have you running for the bathroom. Get ready to laugh, cringe and imodium up because we're exploring Diarrhea Jokes! From explosive rhymes to apathetic nausea puns, get ready to laugh your pants off. Just don't forget to flush when you're done!
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Funniest Diarrhea Short Jokes
Short diarrhea jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The diarrhea humour may include short diarrhoea jokes also.
- Whomever said laughter is the best medicine... clearly hasn't tried curing diarrhea with a tickle fight.
- My mother-in-law has a massive case of diarrhea. She won't find out until she unpacks her luggage.
- So I found out today that my diarrhea is hereditary It runs in my jeans
- Don't adopt a puppy to see if you're ready for kids Adopt a homeless guy with diarrhea & a bunch of stories that don't go anywhere.
- What's the worst disease combination to have? Alzheimer and Diarrhea. You don't know where to run
- They say that laughter is the best medicine. Well, I have diarrhea and it's making it worse.
- Last week I got eczema, diarrhea, and hemorrhoids. It was the first time I ever won a game of Scrabble.
- Studies show that 4 out of 5 men suffer from diarrhea at some point in their life. Why are 1 out of 5 men enjoying it??
- What's worse than having diarrhea and a clogged toilet? Nothing, please someone help me out
- Man comes out of the bathroom at work… After a loud session of diarrhea, sounds like you had a rough time in there. a slightly embarrassed coworker commented. No it was a blast the man responded.
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Diarrhea One Liners
Which diarrhea one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with diarrhea? I can suggest the ones about constipation and indigestion.
- Doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means one person enjoys it
- TIL that diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in the jeans.
- What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs? An elephant with diarrhea...
- Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine.
- Have you heard about giant with diarrhea? Its all over town
- What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad shooter.
- Whats the worst thing to hear when you have explosive diarrhea? "Are you ticklish?"
- What do you call a linguist's diarrhea? The great bowel shift.
- I told my dad I had diarrhea He said don't worry son it runs in your jeans
- What's the similarity between DNA and diarrhea? They both run in the genes.
- When's the worst time to get diarrhea? As your word in the spelling bee.
- I used to have diarrhea. But, now it's "gonerrhea".
- What do you call a small arachnid with a bad case of diarrhea? The itsy shitsy spider.
- My love for you is like diarrhea I can't hold it in and to let go hurts.
- What's brown and runs in the attic? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank
Diarrhea Rhyme Jokes
Here is a list of funny diarrhea rhyme jokes and even better diarrhea rhyme puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- When your sitting in a Chevy and you feel something heavy Anybody know any silly diarrhea rhymes?
Explosive Diarrhea Jokes
Here is a list of funny explosive diarrhea jokes and even better explosive diarrhea puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I read a Buzzfeed article called "The Top 10 Things You Didn't Know About Explosive Diarrhea".... number 2 surprised me.
- My friend has a weird quirk: he gets explosive diarrhea and just can't contain himself when he sees a certain soccer player... And boy, it's messi.
- Bad luck today, I have a bout of food poisioning AND I dropped my Galaxy Note 7 in the toilet by mistake :( Talk about explosive diarrhea.
- Hey I seem to have picked up a stomach bug So far just explosive diarrhea. I will keep y'all posted as situation can best be described as fluid.
- Laughter is best medicine... Unless of course, you have explosive diarrhea!
- What do you get when you fuse Arab and Indian food? Explosive Diarrhea
- Did you hear about the guy who had explosive diarrhea in an elevator? Apparently it was ascending
- Why did the muslim eat Taco Bell? He heard it would give him explosive diarrhea
- If Muslims eat dynamite... ...will they have explosive diarrhea?
- I had explosive diarrhea On the bight side i started the year with a bang
Comical Diarrhea Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about diarrhea you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bowel jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make diarrhea pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Q: Who is brave?
A: He who has diarrhea and wants to f**...!
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just cant hold it in!
Here's another Diarrhea joke
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, then does one enjoy it?
What's the difference between an epileptic corn husker and a nymphomaniac with diarrhea?
One shucks between fits
Lunch theif
At work, I constantly found my lunch to be missing from the lunchroom fridge. I decided to get back at this thief, so I began making two lunches; one with a very strong laxative, and the other without. I hid my regular lunch towards the back of the fridge, wrote my name on both of these bags. Needless to say, weight gain and terrible diarrhea are bad ways to discover I have Alzheimer's.
I came back from holiday in India with a really heavy case of diarrhea...
...but they wouldn't let me take it through customs.
Can you take a bath if you have diarrhea?
Yes, if you have enough.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When is the best time to have diarrhea?
During scrabble. Because it's worth a s**... of points.
- Zach Galifianakis
When do Catholics allow the use of condoms?
When the choir boys have diarrhea.
What do they call diarrhea at Hogwarts?
expellianus!
When Russians visit Mexico
What do you call it when Russians get diarrhea from drinking water in Mexico?
Trotsky's Revenge
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a news anchor with diarrhea?
Anderson p**...
What's the difference between an epileptic corn farmer and a pornstar with a bout of diarrhea?
One shucks between fits.
Why did Levi Strauss suffer from chronic diarrhea?
It runs in his jeans.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a corn husker with tourettes, and a p**... with diarrhea?
One shucks before he fits, and the other....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The fastest thing.
Three friends are having a conversation. o**... asks, 'What do you think is the fastest thing ever?'. The first guy responds 'It's the light'. The second guy goes 'It's thought'. The third guy responds 'It's diarrhea'. The first guy is suprised and asks 'Why is diarrhea the fastest?'. The third guy responds 'Because even before I thought about turning the lights on in the washroom, I s**... myself.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm not sure what gave me diarrhea again...
But this s**...'s gotta stop.
Can you swim if you have diarrhea?
Yes, but only if you have a lot.
After hearing that Diarrhea causes the most deaths...
I realized I'm next. Diarrhea's hereditary, and it runs in my genes.
What do you call it when your diarrhea finally goes away?
Gonorrhea.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What happened with a depressed man that had diarrhea ?
He s**... himself
What smelled so bad it almost cost a young girl her life?
Anne Frank's diarrhea.
I once got diarrhea on a road trip
but I went on, undeterred.
Which E.D. is worst, Erectile Dysfunction or Explosive Diarrhea?
The man blushed and answered in almost a whisper: erectile dysfunction..
The embarassed woman also said: erectile dysfunction.
The butch lesbian hesitantly replied: erectile dysfunction.
The gay guy without hesitation answered: depends if you're top or bottom.
Did you know that Diarrhea can kill you?
Even if you only drink a little bit.
I ate 15 raw oysters last night at the restaurant. I paid for it with exploding diarrhea.
I think they would have preferred cash.
My elderly grandfather came over and complained of diarrhea. He repeatedly told everyone "Shh".
It took us a while to realize he'd lost "it".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's Jewish and runs?
The Diarrhea of Anne Frank
Did you hear about the black boy with with diarrhea?
Everyone thought he was melting.
What do you give to an elephant who suffering from diarrhea?
Space.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a punch-drunk Japanese person whose father has diarrhea?
A slap-happy Jappy with a c**...-happy pappy!
I'll show myself out...
A man has diarrhea at a gala dinner...
So he tells his wife: "I have diarrhea, but I couldn't make it to the toilet so I've put my underpants in your bag."
To which she responds: "I didn't bring my bag."
Laughter really is the best medicine...
Except for diarrhea.
A new study has revealed that diarrhea is actually based on heredity
They found if runs in your jeans
A man asks the doctor
"Can I take a bath with diarrhea?"
Doctor:"If you could fill the bathtub with it, why not?"
I noticed Taco Bell cups say "welcome to the after party" on them.
That's a harsh way to tell you that you just got diarrhea.....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Water.....I have news for you.
The poor bottle water notice he was red, it felt nauseous, it had diarrhea, and it had a sweet taste in its mouth. He went to the clinic to see what was wrong with him. But the doctor had bad news. He said" I'm sorry water, but you have **Kool** aids."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like my women like I like my diarrhea
Brown, chunky, and on my face.
My friend died from diarrhea
It saddened me to watch him go
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the height of self confidence?
f**... when you have diarrhea.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the definition of bravery?
A person with diarrhea chancing a f**...
What Breaking Benjamin song should you only listen to on the toilet?
Diarrhea Jane
Relationships are either like eating pizza all the time or crippling diarrhea.
You either end up fat and out of shape, or doubled over in crippling pain desperately wiping away what's left when it finally ends.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do they call an Ethiopian with diarrhea?
"Show off"
How do you know when the Kremlin has diarrhea?
They're rushin' pootin' to the bathroom.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the pirate with diarrhea say?
s**...-me-timbers
After eating at a German restaurant, I had horrendous diarrhea for a week.
It was the wurst.
I wrote a book about diarrhea.
I'm told it flows really well.
What do you call a Scotsman with diarrhea?
Bravefart
How would you journal a day on the toilet after eating venison?
Deer Diarrhea...
What do you call hereditary diarrhea?
Runs in the family.
You know what they say about hereditary diarrhea ...
...It runs in the family.
What do you call fifty-three Ohioans with diarrhea?
The Cleveland Browns.
Diarrhea sounds exactly how it's described.
Dire rear.
I heard a report!
I heard a report about a bad outbreak of the tummy bug, apparently, 9 out of 10 people there suffered from diarrhea. I can't stop thinking about that tenth person who apparently enjoyed it.
A man walks into a library
-Excuse me, do you have books about diarrhea?
-Yes, sir
-Great, I'll need three pages
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call f**... and having diarrhea at the same time?
TMI DAVE, TMI
A woman calls her doctor and says "I have diarrhea. Can I take a bath?"
Doctor says "Sure, if you have enough"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Fastest thing in the universe
Two men are arguing over what is the fastest thing in the universe.
One man says, Of course it has to be the speed of light!
The other says, Nonsense, it's human thought!
A third man interrupts, You're both wrong, its diarrhea.
Visibly confused, the two men are quick to asking Why??
The third man easily explains, Because you won't be able to think about it or turn on the light when it hits you.
