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Diary Jokes

78 diary jokes and hilarious diary puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about diary that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Diary Short Jokes

Short diary jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The diary humour may include short journal jokes also.

  1. The thief that stole my diary and my Bible died today. My thoughts and prayers are with his family.
  2. Voldemort is like a teenage girl. He has a diary, a tiara, a special cup, a pet he adores, and an obsession with a famous teenage boy.
  3. My daughter thinks I don't respect her personal boundaries Or at least that's what she wrote in her diary
  4. My wife thinks I don't give her enough privacy. At least that's what she said in her diary...
  5. My wife thinks I don't respect her boundaries I was so shocked, I didn't want to read her diary anymore.
  6. I feel bad for Anne Frank She had her diary published for all the world to read, which is every girl's worst nightmare!
    And she didn't get paid for it, which is every Jew's worst nightmare.
  7. A daughter thinks I don't respect her privacy Why would she write such stuff in her diary?
  8. I was really surprised when my friend said I was nosey.... ...because they never mentioned that in their diary
  9. My wife does'nt think I respect her privacy enough. Atleast that's what it says in her diary.
  10. My therapist recommended that I write in a diary to help my low self-esteem. *Dear Diary,*
    S*orry to bother you again.*

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Diary One Liners

Which diary one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with diary? I can suggest the ones about notebook and autobiography.

  1. My roommate's diary says I have boundary issues.
  2. My girlfriend is mad at me According to her diary, I have "boundary issues".
  3. According to my wife's diary, I have boundary issues.
  4. My wife is mad at me. Get this, her diary says I have boundary issues.
  5. According to my roommate's diary, I have boundary issues.
  6. My wife says I'm too nosy. At least that's what she said in her diary.
  7. According to my neighbor's diary, I have "boundary issues".
  8. The guy who stole my diary has died. My thoughts are with his family.
  9. Somebody stole my diary and my rosary. My thoughts and prayers are with them.
  10. My wife says I'm nosy. Well...at least that's what she wrote in her diary.
  11. Apparently I have boundary issues Or at least thats what it says in my neighbours diary
  12. I think that my girlfriend is mad at me According to her diary, I have "boundary issues".
  13. My girlfriend thinks I don't respect her privacy That's what was written in her diary.
  14. I'm in trouble with my girlfriend. According to her diary, I have "boundary issues".
  15. My daughter thinks I'm nosy and controlling. At least that's what she wrote in her diary.

Dear Diary Jokes

Here is a list of funny dear diary jokes and even better dear diary puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Dear Diary.. ..today I ate Indian food and Taco bell.
    Thus, I will call you "Dear Diarrea" for the next two days.
  • Dear Diary, I've got the best April fool's day prank planned for my friends. I'm going to fake my death and return as a zombie! The looks on their faces will be priceless lolololol.
    -Jesus
Diary joke, Dear Diary, I've got the best April fool's day prank planned for my friends.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about diary can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of diary puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Hilarious Fun Diary Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about diary you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean biography jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make diary prank.

My attractive female neighbor is completely paranoid.

She thinks I'm following or even stalking her, she is worried that I may be obsessed with her and any time she hears a noise in her house she is...purified? Oh, wait: petrified. Sorry, it's not easy reading a diary through binoculars from a tree.

I read in my girlfriend's diary......

that I have real trust issues!! What a bunch of BS...

I feel sorry for Anne Frank...

First she gets her diary published, which is every girl's worst nightmare, but on top of that she doesn't get any money from it, which is every Jew's worst nightmare.

There was a pub quiz last week

And there was a round on Literature. The question was "Name the book where the characters all lived behind a wardrobe". Imagine the disgust when I shouted "The diary of Anne Frank"!

I can't believe my roommate thinks I have boundary issues...

at least that's what her diary said.

Roommates

Roommate 1: "You think I'm nosy, don't you?!"
Roommate 2: "No, not at all!"
Roommate 1: "Then why'd you write that in your diary?!"

My brother told me he thinks I invade his privacy

Well he didn't actually tell me. I read it in his diary.

I went to the races yesterday.

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.

I'm working on a script for a horror movie.

It's called *my diary*

My roommate says I don't respect personal space.

That's at least what it says in his diary.

My wife thinks that I'm too nosy...

At least that's what she keeps scribbling in her diary.

My girlfriend says that I am snoopy.

But OK, maybe she meant it differently when she wrote it in her diary.

A woman is cleaning her daughters room when she stumbles upon her diary. She sees an entry that reads: "I lost my virginitty today"

The woman starts crying.
"How can this happen? I've given her everything. Why did she do this to me? She can't be serious about this. She's in 9th grade for gods sake. How does she not know how to spell virginity?"

I remember the old days...

When people would get mad if you read their diary. Now they post it online and get mad if you don't read it.

NOAH'S DIARY: Day 42...

NOAH'S DIARY: Day 42
Dragon steak for lunch, and Unicorn pie for dinner.

Why was the astronaut's diary blank?

It was filled with space.

Jesus Christ wrote the same thing in his diary every day...

"I think I'm being followed"

The actress who played the lead role in the local theatre production of Anne Frank's Diary was so bad

That the scene where the n**... entered the stage and said "where is she" the audience shouted "she's in the attic".

A man writing in his diary:

I am an ideal man. I don't smoke, drink, or go to night clubs. I have always been loyal to my wife and don't flirt with strange women. I sleep at eight o'clock and wake up early. I exercise daily and work regular hours. But all this will change as soon as I get out of prison.

My Neighbor is purified of me

Wait, not purified. Petrified. She's petrified. It's hard to read a diary through these binoculars.

My girlfriend said to me that she would break up with me for invading her privacy

Or at least that's what it said in her diary.

My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker

At least that's what I think she wrote in her diary... binoculars are hard to read through

My parents read the book I was writing. They said the man character wasn't likeable...

So, yeah, now I have a new hiding place for my diary.

My wife swears up and down that I'm too nosy

That's what she keeps writing in her diary anyways...

What do you call a fluid log of fluid logs?

A diarrhea diary.

To the guy that stole my diary, and then died,

My thoughts are with your family.

Here is a joke from the Soviet Union (also popular in other communist countries before 1989)

A CIA agent is sent on a spy mission to Moscow, Soviet Union. He goes to a grocery store and writes down in his diary "There is no food".
He then goes to a clothes shop and puts down in the diary "there are no shoes".
He goes out of the shop and a KGB agent waits for him outside. "You know, 10 years ago we would have shot you for that."
The CIA agent writes in his diary "There are no bullets".

Hey, want a book full of jokes?

Here's a copy of my diary!

My crush thinks I'm a bit too invasive even at school.

That's what she wrote in her diary at her house anyway.

My buddy Frank is a HUGE fan of diarrhea. I was thinking of writing a book about him, but it looks like the title is already taken.

"The Diary of Anne Frank"

My wife thinks I'm nosy and I don't respect her privacy.

At least, that's what she wrote in her Diary.

My brother thinks I don't give him enough privacy.

That's what he wrote about me in his diary.

Someone stole my diary last week but they died a few days later.

My thoughts are with their family.

Noah's diary : Day 39.

Unicorn pie is delicious!

Diary joke, I think that my girlfriend is mad at me

jokes about diary

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these diary jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.