The Best 55 Diapers Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Diapers jokes. There are some diapers infant jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these diapers baby diaper puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Diapers Jokes and Puns

Bomb the babies and....

Thanksgiving political conversation:

Me: well what would you rather spend the money on, giving babies diapers or dropping bombs?
Uncle Morris: we have enough for both. Bomb the babies and give the terrorists diapers.

Why do they make diapers white?

So the seaman blends in when it drys.

William Shatner is going to sponsor a new line of women's jeans made to hide adult diapers underneath.

They're going to be called Shatner Pants.

Diapers joke, William Shatner is going to sponsor a new line of women's jeans made to hide adult diapers underneat

My crush's ex-boyfriend was into wearing diapers

I asked her best friend what she likes in a guy. She said, "Depends..."

Why did the elephant go to the party with diapers on?

He was a party pooper.


Some people hate the thought of adult diapers....

But I say, "It's just Depends."

A woman goes to the doctor

A woman goes to the doctor one day and tells him she's been having some stomach pains. In reply the doctor takes some samples and tells the woman to come back a week later when the results are in. So a week later the woman goes to the doctor and asks "So what's wrong with me?", "well..." says the doctor "in 6 months from now you be changing diapers.", in astonishment the woman exclaims "wow, I'm pregnant?", "No..." says the doctor "you have bowel cancer."

Diapers joke, A woman goes to the doctor

I've come up with an idea for a robot that changes my kid's diapers and shags me.

I call it Poo Nanny.

A woman goes to the doctor because her stomach has been slowly swelling.

The doctor examines her and says "Expect more swelling and buy some nappies (diapers)."

"Why?" asks the woman. "Am I pregnant?"

"No, you've got bowel cancer."

When Little Johnny grew out of diapers, his dad had to teach him how to pee like a man...

"Listen here, son, this is how you do it," says Daddy.

1. Unzip your pants

2. Pull out your equipment

3. Pull back your foreskin

4. Relax the muscle that's holding in the pee

5. Push back your foreskin

6. Put your equipment back,

7. Zip back up.

Later that day Johnny's sister, Little Jane, runs up to her dad exasperated. "Daddy, Daddy! Johnny's hogging the bathroom!" "That's fine," responds Daddy, "he's learning how to pee like a man." "No he's not!" yells Jane. "He's just in there shouting, 'Three, five, three, five, three, five..."

Politicians are like diapers...

They're almost exclusively white

You can explore diapers chore reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean diapers newborn dad jokes. There are also diapers puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


How do diapers work?

(>_<) Hnng. Aaaaaaaah.

Like that.

I'll show myself the door. ^^[sqiush ^^squish ^^squish ^^squish]

Politicians are a lot like diapers...

They should be changed frequently, and for the same reasons.
(Benjamin Franklin)

Where can you find adult diapers?

Depends on who's asking.

A woman at the store.

Today I saw a woman at the store. She was buying both diapers and birth control. I just had to ask her out, because I love a woman that learns from her mistakes.

I only wear adult diapers for 2 reasons

#1 and #2

Diapers joke, I only wear adult diapers for 2 reasons

What do politicians and diapers have in common?

They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

I gave my incontinent friend some adult diapers...

He's a changed man now.

Why do tectonic plates wear diapers?

Because they're in continents.


A woman goes to the doctors complaining of stomach cramps...

She gets sent off for some test and comes back a week later.

"Well, I hope you're ready for endless sleepless nights of crying and changing dirty diapers!" the doc says.

"Wow, you mean I'm pregnant?" the woman replies thrilled.

"No, you've got bowel cancer."

I think my wife is changing our son's diapers too often.

It says right on the box that they're good for up to 14lbs.

How do you know when Indian men grown up?

When they take out their diapers and wrap it around their head

Mark Twain Quote

"Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason."

A woman visits her doctor since she has some abdominal pains ...

She thinks she might be pregnant. After the examination, the doctor comes out to see her.
Doctor: *"Well, I hope you like changing diapers."*
Patient: *"Oh my god, are you serious? Am I pregnant?"*
Doctor: *"No, you've got colon cancer."*

A woman goes to the doctor

A woman goes to the doctor complaining of abdominal pains. After a series of tests, the doctor walks back in and says to the lady, "Well, hope you don't mind changing diapers!"

Stunned, she replies, "Oh my God I'm pregnant? I can't be pregnant!"

The doctor looks at her and says, "No, you have bowel cancer"

If you really want to change the world...

...you're going to need 7 billion diapers.

What did Michael Sorrentino say when they asked him if he would be ok with wearing adult diapers on some of the new episodes of Jersey Shore?

It depends on The Situation.

Where do people who need adult diapers live?

In continents.

Politicians are like Diapers

they should be changed regularly, and for the same reason

I saw a lady crying at the supermarket today because she had lost her money and couldn't buy diapers that she wanted to buy.

I felt so bad that I bought them for her, but it's fine because I found a 100 dollar bill at the parking lot anyways.

Why do gardeners like to wear diapers?

In case they get soiled

Ever since I started to wear adult diapers

I've been a changed man.

A woman visits the doctor because she's been suffering from some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.

After he finishes examining her, the doctor comes out to see her and says, "Well, I hope you like changing diapers."

The woman replies, "Oh my God! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?"

The doctor says, "No, you've got bowel cancer."

My wife hates cleaning so now I'm paying for a maid, she hates changing diapers so now I'm paying for a nanny...

And she hates having sex with me so now I'm paying for a tennis coach.

Now that I'm an adult, there are things I can appreciate a whole lot more than when I was a child...

Things like wearing diapers and spankings...

I usually only wear diapers for 2 reasons

Number 1 and number 2

We are sorry to announce that we are out of diapers, Poise, and Attends.

We apologize for any incontinence.

What kind of bear wears diapers?

Winnie the Pooh

Diapers

Why are baby's diapers called loves, huggies, and pampers, while adult diapers are called depends?

Well that's because when we're babies our family will still pamper, love, and give us huggies after changing our diaper, but when we're adults it depends on who's in the will.

Diapers are like guns...

You always have to assume they're loaded.

How are politicians similar to diapers?

Both need to be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

I ran out of adult diapers...

but I can make do without them.

Babies wear diapers for two reasons...

Number 1 and number 2

Why did the sailor bring diapers on shore leave?

He was worried about being in continent

A woman visits the doctor as she has some strange symptoms and suspects she may be pregnant.

After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope your husband likes changing diapers".

She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?"

To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."

So I work at Amazon and suddenly realized why we sell so many diapers.

Because we sell so many sex toys.

Condoms are for losers...

Real men use diapers.

I started a new job

I started a new job ready to teach dealers black jack and Texas hold'em, but all i saw was diapers and detergent. I guess i went to the wrong Procter and Gamble.

My dog is in diapers because she's in heat, so I took her picture while she was sleeping and printed it onto my N95 mask.

Now I have a resting bitch face mask

Four years is enough...

Politicians and diapers should both be changed regularly...and for the same reason.

Ive been playing uno with my kids for 50 years now.

I finally dropped my reverse card and now they have to change my diapers.

What do Politicians & Diapers have in common?

The both have to be changed often & for the same reason...

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They both need to be changed regularly.

And for the same reason.

I began wearing adult diapers for 2 reasons:

Reason #1 and #2.

Politicians and diapers need to be changed often...

For the same reasons.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the diapers procreate jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working diapers diaper piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes