JokoJokes

Diaper Jokes

79 diaper jokes and hilarious diaper puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about diaper that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

A selection of the funniest, most adorable and dirty diaper jokes to make you laugh out loud. From classic one-liners to contemporary quips, these jokes will have you in stitches.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Diaper Short Jokes

Short diaper jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The diaper humour may include short underpants jokes also.

  1. My buddy set me up on a blind date and he said, "I'd better warn you, she's expecting a baby." I felt like such an idiot sitting in the bar wearing just a diaper...
  2. William Shatner is going to sponsor a new line of women's jeans made to hide adult diapers underneath. They're going to be called Shatner Pants.
  3. I was set up on a blind date the other day by my friend, as I was getting ready he said "heads up, she's expecting a baby" Now I feel pretty daft sitting in this restaurant wearing a diaper
  4. What do politicians and diapers have in common? They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
  5. I think my wife is changing our son's diapers too often. It says right on the box that they're good for up to 14lbs.
  6. Now that I'm an adult, there are things I can appreciate a whole lot more than when I was a child... Things like wearing diapers and spankings...
  7. My wife is always nagging. I remembered to bring the stroller, the diaper bag, even an extra set of clothes.
    But al she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
  8. I spent Valentine's Day the old fashioned way Running around in a diaper shooting arrows at people
  9. Why do blonde change her baby's diapers once in a week? Because the package says "up to 10 kilos".
  10. My sister is dating a diaper fetishist... She doesn't like like it, but she thinks she can change him.

Share These Diaper Jokes With Friends




Diaper One Liners

Which diaper one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with diaper? I can suggest the ones about peeing pants and diarrhea.

  1. How are politicians like diapers? They need to be changed often and for the same reason.
  2. I wear a diaper for two reasons... Number one and number two.
  3. Politicians and diapers need to be changed often... For the same reasons.
  4. What did Ronnie James Dio wear to Church when he was a baby? Holy Diapers.
  5. I’d rather treat my baby’s diaper rash than have lunch with you.
  6. Politicians are like Diapers they should be changed regularly, and for the same reason
  7. What do you call someone who wears a diaper fashioned from a map? Incontinent
  8. Why do you put diapers on a baby? To tie up loose ends
  9. Hey Girl..... Unless he wears a diaper, you can't change him.
  10. I began wearing adult diapers for 2 reasons: Reason #1 and #2.
  11. Politicians are like diapers... They're almost exclusively white
  12. Do philosophers use diapers? It depends.
  13. What do you call a baby who just got his diaper changed inside an airport? Duty Free
  14. Ever since I started to wear adult diapers I've been a changed man.
  15. Babies wear diapers for two reasons... Number 1 and number 2

Changing Diaper Jokes

Here is a list of funny changing diaper jokes and even better changing diaper puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Ive been playing uno with my kids for 50 years now. I finally dropped my reverse card and now they have to change my diapers.
  • What do Politicians & Diapers have in common? The both have to be changed often & for the same reason...
  • Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They both need to be changed regularly. And for the same reason.
  • Four years is enough... Politicians and diapers should both be changed regularly...and for the same reason.
  • I love how grown up my little child is these days... ... he completely understood & obeyed when I quietly whispered "Go tell mommy you need to have your diaper changed".
  • How are politicians similar to diapers? Both need to be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
  • Mark Twain Quote "Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason."
  • How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? Ask Hugh Hefner.
  • Politicians are a lot like diapers... They should be changed frequently, and for the same reasons.
    (Benjamin Franklin)
  • I gave my incontinent friend some adult diapers... He's a changed man now.

Diaper Changing Jokes

Here is a list of funny diaper changing jokes and even better diaper changing puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What would change the world A giant diaper.
  • If you really want to change the world... ...you're going to need 7 billion diapers.
  • What's the difference between a politician and a diaper? No difference. Both need to be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
  • Why did the blonde not change the diaper for a month? Because it said it was good up to 20 pounds.
  • How many blondes does it take to change a tire? 36 to hold the car up and 1 to pin the diaper.
  • My wife hates cleaning so now I'm paying for a maid, she hates changing diapers so now I'm paying for a nanny... And she hates having s**... with me so now I'm paying for a tennis coach.
  • I've come up with an idea for a robot that changes my kid's diapers and shags me. I call it p**... Nanny.
Diaper joke, I've come up with an idea for a robot that changes my kid's diapers and shags me.

Baby Diaper Jokes

Here is a list of funny baby diaper jokes and even better baby diaper puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Proper diaper fitting If the baby's legs turn blue, it's too tight, if they turn brown, it's too loose.
  • My wife is so negative... I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.
    Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
  • forgetful Dad My wife is so negative.
    I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.
    Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
  • What do babys and politicians have in common? Both need diapers.
  • How is a late train like the contents of a baby's diaper? They're both a little behind
  • A 100 year old man is like a baby... ...except instead of diapers, theres a bucket.
  • What is white and inside a baby's diaper? Michael Jackson's ghost's hand.
  • Why did the baby squirrel wear a diaper? To hide his nuts!!
  • What diapers should you put on a dead baby? Pamperspired.

Depend Diaper Jokes

Here is a list of funny depend diaper jokes and even better depend diaper puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I asked my grandpa if he has to wear a diaper... He said "depends"
  • What did Michael Sorrentino say when they asked him if he would be ok with wearing adult diapers on some of the new episodes of Jersey Shore? It depends on The Situation.
  • My crush's ex-boyfriend was into wearing diapers I asked her best friend what she likes in a guy. She said, "Depends..."
  • Where can you find adult diapers? Depends on who's asking.
  • Some people hate the thought of adult diapers.... But I say, "It's just Depends."
  • Do you think you will have to wear diapers when you get older? It depends
  • Is it appropriate to force an adult to wear diapers? Depends.
  • Do you like adult diapers? Depends
  • What do you call a person who wears adult diapers? Ehh, it depends.

Diaper Party Jokes

Here is a list of funny diaper party jokes and even better diaper party puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the elephant go to the party with diapers on? He was a party p**....
  • Why did the elephant wear diapers to the birthday party? Because he was a party p**...!
Diaper joke, Why did the elephant wear diapers to the birthday party?

Giggle-Inducing Diaper Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about diaper you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bidet jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make diaper pranks.

A friend set me up on a blind date. He said "She's a lovely girl, but there's something you should know. She's expecting a baby"

I felt like a right idiot sitting in a bar wearing nothing but a diaper.

What do you get when you cross a diaper and some cereal?

Snap, crackle p**....
(This is my 8 yr olds favorite joke and she wanted me to make sure everyone on that joke website I go to knew it.)

Wife to husband on their son's 10th birthday: Honey, Kevin still doesn't look like either of us. Why is that?

Husband: Of course he doesn't! Don't you remember when we were leaving the hospital and he had soiled his diaper? You told me to go change him. And I did!

The blind date

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I'm meeting my blind date here tonight," he tells the bartender. "She's the sister of one of my friends. All he told me was that she was blonde and is expecting a baby." "Well," the bartender replies. "That explains why you're sitting here in just a diaper."

The DNA Test

After 3 years, a wife starts to think that their child looks different, so she decides to do a DNA test.
She finds out that the child is actually from completely different parents.
Wife: "Honey, I have something very serious to tell you."
Husband: "What's wrong?"
Wife: "According to DNA test results, this is not our child."
Husband: "Well don't you remember? When we were leaving the hospital, we noticed that our baby had a wet diaper and you said, 'Honey, go change the baby, I'll wait for you here'."

Pitbull saves family from house fire, pulls 7-month-old girl by her diaper

Good to know he's doing more than just music these days.

"Well, here is your problem," the doctor says to the first-time father. "It seems that this child needs a diaper change."

The new father replies, "That can't be! The package said it was good for 8-10 pounds."

I had to take my son's dirty diaper off today.

I don't know why I was wearing it in the first place.

This blonde goes to the pediatrician...

This blonde goes to the pediatrician because her baby keeps getting diaper rashes. The pediatrician asks, "How often do you change your baby?"
The blonde says, "Once a month."
The doctor yells, "What? Why do you only change him once a month?"
The blonde says, "Well, the box says 'good up until fifteen pounds.'"

A father comes into the hospital with his child.

Well, here is your problem, said the doctor, it looks like he needs a diaper change,
That can't be! the father replies the package said it was good for 8-10 pounds,

My newborn son has decided that every fresh diaper is a clean canvas that he must paint immediately.

He's a prolific shartist.

Diaper companies should be sued for false advertising.

Not once have they held the 22-37 pounds they promised.

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree.

One turns to the other and says, "John, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age, how do you feel?"
John replies, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really! Like a newborn baby, you say?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, I wear a diaper, and I even drool on myself."

How do diapers work?

(>_<) Hnng. Aaaaaaaah.
Like that.
I'll show myself the door. ^^[sqiush ^^squish ^^squish ^^squish]

How has there not been a class action lawsuit against the major diaper companies?

Those things have never held the 22-37 pounds they advertise.

Diaper joke, I asked my grandpa if he has to wear a diaper...