The Best 39 Diaper Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Diaper jokes. There are some diaper trash jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these diaper baby diaper puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Diaper Jokes and Puns

I love how grown up my little child is these days...

... he completely understood & obeyed when I quietly whispered "Go tell mommy you need to have your diaper changed".

What do you call someone who wears a diaper fashioned from a map?

Incontinent

This blonde goes to the pediatrician...

This blonde goes to the pediatrician because her baby keeps getting diaper rashes. The pediatrician asks, "How often do you change your baby?"

The blonde says, "Once a month."

The doctor yells, "What? Why do you only change him once a month?"

The blonde says, "Well, the box says 'good up until fifteen pounds.'"

Diaper joke, This blonde goes to the pediatrician...

I wear a diaper for two reasons...

Number one and number two.

How do diapers work?

(>_<) Hnng. Aaaaaaaah.

Like that.

I'll show myself the door. ^^[sqiush ^^squish ^^squish ^^squish]


How many blondes does it take to change a diaper?

Ask Hugh Hefner.

Why did the man wear a diaper to the bar?

So he could save his stool.

Diaper joke, Why did the man wear a diaper to the bar?

I had to take my son's dirty diaper off today.

I don't know why I was wearing it in the first place.

Proper diaper fitting

If the baby's legs turn blue, it's too tight, if they turn brown, it's too loose.

You're never too young or too old

to wear a diaper.

How is a late train like the contents of a baby's diaper?

They're both a little behind

You can explore diaper shamwow reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean diaper potty dad jokes. There are also diaper puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree.

One turns to the other and says, "John, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age, how do you feel?"

John replies, "I feel just like a newborn baby."

"Really! Like a newborn baby, you say?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, I wear a diaper, and I even drool on myself."

Ever brush your teeth by accident with diaper cream?

No, well be careful I heard there's been a rash of incidents.

My buddy set me up on a blind date and he said, "I'd better warn you, she's expecting a baby."

I felt like such an idiot sitting in the bar wearing just a diaper...

How is a Tauntaun like a diaper?

You think they smell bad on the outside...

Why did the blonde not change the diaper for a month?

Because it said it was good up to 20 pounds.

Diaper joke, Why did the blonde not change the diaper for a month?

I asked my grandpa if he has to wear a diaper...

He said "depends"

Diaper companies should be sued for false advertising.

Not once have they held the 22-37 pounds they promised.

What would change the world

A giant diaper.


Pitbull saves family from house fire, pulls 7-month-old girl by her diaper

Good to know he's doing more than just music these days.

Yo mommas breath smells so bad

She should be wearing a diaper on her face.

Diapers

Why are baby's diapers called loves, huggies, and pampers, while adult diapers are called depends?

Well that's because when we're babies our family will still pamper, love, and give us huggies after changing our diaper, but when we're adults it depends on who's in the will.

Diapers are like guns...

You always have to assume they're loaded.

My sister is dating a diaper fetishist...

She doesn't like like it, but she thinks she can change him.

What's the difference between a politician and a diaper?

No difference. Both need to be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

What do you give a pig with a diaper rash?

Oinkment

I was set up on a blind date the other day by my friend, as I was getting ready he said "heads up, she's expecting a baby"

Now I feel pretty daft sitting in this restaurant wearing a diaper

Forgetful Dad

My wife is so negative.

I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.

Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.

I spent Valentine's Day the old fashioned way

Running around in a diaper shooting arrows at people

How has there not been a class action lawsuit against the major diaper companies?

Those things have never held the 22-37 pounds they advertise.

A friend set me up on a blind date. He said "She's a lovely girl, but there's something you should know. She's expecting a baby"

I felt like a right idiot sitting in a bar wearing nothing but a diaper.

The DNA Test

After 3 years, a wife starts to think that their child looks different, so she decides to do a DNA test.

She finds out that the child is actually from completely different parents.

Wife: "Honey, I have something very serious to tell you."

Husband: "What's wrong?"

Wife: "According to DNA test results, this is not our child."

Husband: "Well don't you remember? When we were leaving the hospital, we noticed that our baby had a wet diaper and you said, 'Honey, go change the baby, I'll wait for you here'."

"Well, here is your problem," the doctor says to the first-time father. "It seems that this child needs a diaper change."

The new father replies, "That can't be! The package said it was good for 8-10 pounds."

My wife is always nagging.

I remembered to bring the stroller, the diaper bag, even an extra set of clothes.

But al she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.

The blind date

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I'm meeting my blind date here tonight," he tells the bartender. "She's the sister of one of my friends. All he told me was that she was blonde and is expecting a baby." "Well," the bartender replies. "That explains why you're sitting here in just a diaper."

Hey Girl.....

Unless he wears a diaper, you can't change him.

A father comes into the hospital with his child.

Well, here is your problem, said the doctor, it looks like he needs a diaper change,

That can't be! the father replies the package said it was good for 8-10 pounds,

What do you call a baby who just got his diaper changed inside an airport?

Duty Free

My newborn son has decided that every fresh diaper is a clean canvas that he must paint immediately.

He's a prolific shartist.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the diaper cloth jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working diaper newborn piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes