Dialed Jokes
35 dialed jokes and hilarious dialed puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dialed that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Dialed Short Jokes
Short dialed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dialed humour may include short dials jokes also.
- Why can't a blonde dial 911? Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven. - Husband to wife: "I am impressed, you only talked to your friend on the phone for 20 minutes." Wife: "Oh, I dialed the wrong number"
- My wife saw me standing on the scale pulling in my stomach "Pulling in your stomach wont make you any lighter" she said
"I know", I said, "but if I don't, I cant see what it says on the dial" - A drunk man ran over a policeman, and immediately dials 911 - 911?
- Yes
- Well, now you're 910. - Hard to find good help nowadays A secretary walks into her boss's office and says, "Can I use your Dictaphone?"
He says, "No, dial with your finger like everyone else." - phone call Today I dialed a wrong number… The other person said, Hello? and I said, Hello, could I speak to Joey? … They said, Uh… I don't think so…he's only 2 months old. I said, I'll wait.
- If a watchmaker uses Dial and a piano player uses Ivory and a Orange grower uses Zest... ...Does a Bull Fighter use Olay?
- I dialed a wrong number It told me: "I'm sorry, the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate by 90 degrees and try again."
- police and public Caller: Dials in 911 Hello officer, I broke my arm in 3 places!
Officer: Then stop going to those places. - I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet... He sent me a large goat with a really long neck...Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama
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Dialed One Liners
Which dialed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dialed? I can suggest the ones about telephone and texted.
- Chuck Norris didn't dial the wrong number You answered the wrong phone
- Why can't a blonde dial 911? Because she can't find the number 11
- Why couldn't the blonde dial 911? She didn't know where the 11 was.
- Girl, are you dial-up internet? Because you're really loud and annoying.
- I put my Grandma on speed dial.. I call that Instagram
- Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You pick up the wrong phone.
- What do solstices use to communicate? Sun-dial-up!
- What do you call it when you have your grandmother on speed dial. Instagram
- Common sense is like dial-up internet access It hasn't been used in years
- The USA is number 1 when dialing internationally.
- Why are alligators' Internet connections so slow? Because their modems are croco-dial up.
- I like my women how I like my dial-up Internet Always going down on me...
- Why can't the blonde dial 911? She couldn't find the 11.
- What do you call it when you have your mom's mom on speed dial? Insta-gram
- Why can't blondes dial 911? They can't find the number eleven on the phone.
Dialed 911 Jokes
Here is a list of funny dialed 911 jokes and even better dialed 911 puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why can't a blonde dial 911 She can't find the eleven.
Not sure if someone already posted this joke but a friend told me so I had to post it. - Sean Connery dials 911..... Is this the polish.
- Q: Why don’t Oregon fans use 911 in an emergency? A: Because they can’t find "eleven" on the phone dial.
- Why can't a blonde dial 911? You can't dial a question mark
- George Bush woke up to hear a burgular downstairs. So he dialed 9/11
- Why couldn't the blonde woman dial 911? Because there was no 11 button.
- Yo mama's so s**...... That when she got into an accident and needed to dial 911 she couldn't find eleven.
Unearthly Funniest Dialed Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about dialed you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dial up jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dialed pranks.
A man joins a big corporate empire as a trainee.
On his very first day of work, he dials the pantry and shouts into the phone, "Get me a coffee, quickly!"The voice from the other side responded, "You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?""No," replied the trainee."It's the CEO of the company, you fool!"The trainee shouts back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?!""No," replied the CEO indignantly."Good!" replied the trainee, and slams down the phone.
Gambling Problem
When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that says: "If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER."
I thought about it for a moment and dialed the number. When they answered I said, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?"
An Emergency Call Centre operator has been fired...
An Emergency Call Centre operator has been fired in Bradford
It seems that a caller dialed 999 from a mobile phone stating, "I am depressed and lying on a railway line so that when the train comes I can finally meet my maker."
To which the call centre employee replied, "Remain calm and stay on the line."
I accidentally dialed a s**... hotline in Saudi Arabia.
The first question they asked was if I knew how to fly a plane.
Lady of my dreams
The wife checked her husband's phone and found these names:
1. The tender one
2. The amazing one
3. Lady of my dreams
She got angry and called the first number to find out that was his mother.
Then she called the second number on which his sister replied .
When she dialed the third number her own phone rang !!!!
She cried until she could cry no more because she had doubted her innocent husband, so she gave him her whole month's paycheck to make up for her doubts and mistrust.
Once his mother came to know of the story, she sold all her jewelery and gave him the money as well.
Husband took the money and bought a gift for his mistress who listed under "Plumber John".
When I go to casinos, the most...
When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that says: "If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER."
I thought about it for a moment and dialed the number. When they answered I said, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?"
Emergency Services
An Emergency Call Centre worker in London has been fired, much to the dismay of her colleagues who are reportedly unhappy with
her dismissal.
It seems a male caller dialed 999 from a mobile phone stating: "I am depressed and lying here on a railway track. I am waiting for the train to come so I can finally meet Allah."
Apparently, "Keep calm and stay on the line," was not considered to be an appropriate response.....
Someone b**... dialed me again yesterday.
It seems that only a**... want to speak to me.
I was staying at a fancy hotel....
...and it said in the Guest Services, "Dial *75 for Turn-Down Service". So, I dialed *75.
A woman answered the phone saying, "I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last man on earth!"
It's nice that while I'm traveling, I can still get some things that remind me of home.
I dialed the r**... hotline
It turns out they only help victims
