The Best 21 Dialed 911 Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dialed 911 jokes. There are some dialed 911 jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dialed 911 puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Dialed 911 Jokes and Puns

Why can't a blonde dial 911?

Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven.

Why can't a blonde dial 911?

Because she can't find the number 11

Two hunters are strolling through the woods ...

When suddenly, one of them gasps, grabs hit chest, and collapses on the floor, eyes open and non-responsive.

In a panic, the other hunter dials 911: "I think my friend is dead! What can I do?!"

"Sir, please calm down. First of all, lets make sure he's dead"

There is a silence, and then a gunshot is heard

"Okay, so now what?"

A drunk man ran over a policeman, and immediately dials 911

- 911?
- Yes
- Well, now you're 910.

Two hunters were walking through the forest...

all of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says 911, whats your emergency? The hunter replies My friend just passed out and I don't know what to do! I think he might be dead! The emergency responder replies Before you do anything, make sure he is dead. The phone goes silent and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says Ok, now what?


Two men are walking in the woods...

...all of a sudden, one of them collapses. The other man dials 911 and says, "Help! I think my friend is dead!" The operator responds, "Sir, calm down. First of all, we need to make sure he is dead." There is a minute of silence and a loud thud before the man responds, "Okay, now what?"

Two hunters.

Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says 911, whats your emergency? The hunter replies My friend just passed out and I don't know what to do! I think he might be dead! The emergency responder replies Before you do anything, make sure he is dead. The phone goes silent and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says Ok, now what?

A Blonde in a Fire

One day a blonde woman is in her house and she smells smoke then her fire detector goes off. She quick runs to the phone to dial 911. She explains to the dispatcher her situation. The dispatcher asked her how do we get there? The blonde replies in a big red truck, duh.

Nobody, Nothing, and Crazy go on a boat.

Nobody, Nothing, and Crazy go on a boat. Nobody falls in the water. Nothing tells Crazy to call the police. Crazy quickly pulls out his phone and dials 911 and says: "Hi, I'm Crazy. I call for Nothing, Nobody fell in the water".

Why can't the blonde dial 911?

She couldn't find the 11.

An elderly lady dials 911.

"Help! Someone's stolen everything in my car," the lady says. "My radio, my windshield, my GPS, even my steering wheel!"

Shortly after, an officer walks up to the car and talks to his radio. "Disregard that last call," the officer said. "She just got in the back seat."

You can explore dialed 911 reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dialed 911 dad jokes. There are also dialed 911 puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why can't blondes dial 911?

They can't find the number eleven on the phone.

Harold and David are out hunting when David collapses and stops breathing.

Desperately Harold searches for a pulse but can't find one. He whips out his phone and dials 911 and blurts, 'My friend had just dropped dead! What should I do?' A soothing voice on the other end says, 'OK, OK. Just relax. First, let's make sure he really is dead.' After a brief silence the operator hears a shot ring out. Then Harold comes back to the phone. 'OK,' he says nervously, 'what do I do next?'

police and public

Caller: Dials in 911 Hello officer, I broke my arm in 3 places!
Officer: Then stop going to those places.

Why can't a blonde dial 911

She can't find the eleven.

Not sure if someone already posted this joke but a friend told me so I had to post it.

Two men are hiking in the woods.

Suddenly, one of the them drops to the ground and doesn't appear to be breathing.
Luckily, the other man has his cell phone and dials 911.
"911! 911! My friend is dead! What should I do?" he asks.
"Slow down," the operator says. "Don't worry, okay? Now, let's make sure he's actually dead, okay?"
The operator hears silence, and then a sound like an axe hitting a watermelon. Then the man's voice comes back on the line.
"Okay, now what?"

Blonde Jokes

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You pull the pin and throw it back!

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Tuesday.

Why can't a blonde dial 911? Because they can't find the 11.

A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,
"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."

Now your turn!

Sean Connery dials 911.....

Is this the polish.

Q: Why don’t Oregon fans use 911 in an emergency?

A: Because they can’t find "eleven" on the phone dial.


Why can't a blonde dial 911?

You can't dial a question mark

Yo mama's so stupid...

That when she got into an accident and needed to dial 911 she couldn't find eleven.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dialed 911 jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dialed 911 piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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