The Best 43 Dial Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dial jokes. There are some dial device jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dial phone puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Dial Jokes and Puns

Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number.

You pick up the wrong phone.

A dialogue between Russians.

-Guys, maybe we should stop drinking.

-We allready did. We're getting wasted now!

What do you call your grandma on speed dial?


Blonde Jokes

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You pull the pin and throw it back!

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Tuesday.

Why can't a blonde dial 911? Because they can't find the 11.

A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,
"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."

Now your turn!

jokes about dial

Dial-up internet called.

They couldnt get through.

Why can't a blonde dial 911?

Because she can't find the number 11

A islamic dial ripoff made a new type of hand soap.

Aloe Akbar.

Dial joke, A islamic dial ripoff made a new type of hand soap.

I put my Grandma on speed dial..

I call that Instagram

What does a German woman dial when a man won't take no for an answer

Nein! Nein! Nein!

Hi Operator, Can you connect me to Steph Curry?

Operator: Just dial 739

Guy: I did but there's no Ring

'' Hello, may I speak with Steph Curry? ''

'' Sure, dial 73-9 ''

''' I did, but there is no ring ''

You can explore dial modem reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dial tighten dad jokes. There are also dial puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why can't a blonde dial 911

She can't find the eleven.

Not sure if someone already posted this joke but a friend told me so I had to post it.

Why can't a blonde dial 911?

Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven.

A dialogue between friends

-My russian Friend is coming to visit tomorrow
-Baby dont hurt me...

What do you dial when calling the police in Argentina?

Nein Juan Juan.

Yo mama's so stupid...

That when she got into an accident and needed to dial 911 she couldn't find eleven.

Dial joke, Yo mama's so stupid...

I put my Nan on speed dial

I call it Instagran.

I put my grandmother on speed dial.

I call it instagram.

You know how they call the police in germany?

They dial 1-1-0 on their phones

I stepped on the scale today and I only weighted 150 lbs.

Not sure why the dial spun a full 360 before it stopped on 150 though.

I was staying at a fancy hotel....

...and it said in the Guest Services, "Dial *75 for Turn-Down Service". So, I dialed *75.

A woman answered the phone saying, "I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last man on earth!"

It's nice that while I'm traveling, I can still get some things that remind me of home.

You should always keep a girl who likes nipple play on speed dial.

They're good in a pinch.

Why did the junkie keep accidentally calling his dealer?

Because he had him on speed dial.

I dialed the rape hotline

It turns out they only help victims

What do you call it when you have your mom's mom on speed dial?


My girlfriend kept insisting that I give her a ring...

It took a while to get comfortable with the idea \(it was a really big decision for me\), but finally I got enough courage to dial the number and have an actual telephone conversation with her.

Dial joke, My girlfriend kept insisting that I give her a ring...

I dialed a wrong number

It told me: "I'm sorry, the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate by 90 degrees and try again."

Yo momma so fat, they had to get 2 oxen to pull the wagon.

I'm a middle school social studies teacher and I thought I'd dial the yo mamma jokes back a few centuries!

Whats the most relaxed word?

Dial, it's always so laid back

Why can't a blonde dial 911?

You can't dial a question mark

I accidentally stabbed myself in the hand with a meat thermometer...

I looked at the dial and it said well done, turkey.

Why can't blondes dial 911?

They can't find the number eleven on the phone.

Why can't the blonde dial 911?

She couldn't find the 11.

Motu: went to the STD booth and slapped 2 of the STDs.

The STD person asked, "Why did Mara" say Motu, "On the sign board in front is written" 2 "dial it."

My wife saw me standing on the scale pulling in my stomach

"Pulling in your stomach wont make you any lighter" she said

"I know", I said, "but if I don't, I cant see what it says on the dial"

ME: Dial 999. Police, please

POLICE: Police

ME: Hi. Two hooded men are robbing my shed.

POLICE: Sorry, we have no resources. There's nothing we can do.

ME: They are standing less than 1 metre apart.

POLICE: Keep them there - we'll be there in 5.

I put my grandma on speed dial the other day.

I call it insta-gram.

What do you call it when you have your grandmother on speed dial.


Hard to find good help nowadays

A secretary walks into her boss's office and says, "Can I use your Dictaphone?"
He says, "No, dial with your finger like everyone else."

If a watchmaker uses Dial and a piano player uses Ivory and a Orange grower uses Zest...

...Does a Bull Fighter use Olay?

A Blonde in a Fire

One day a blonde woman is in her house and she smells smoke then her fire detector goes off. She quick runs to the phone to dial 911. She explains to the dispatcher her situation. The dispatcher asked her how do we get there? The blonde replies in a big red truck, duh.

Whats the best way to reach your meth dealer?

Speed dial

Why couldn't the blonde dial 911?

She didn't know where the 11 was.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dial asap puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dial eleven piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes