diagnoses Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious diagnoses puns

A beautiful woman goes to see her doctor

After describing her symptoms, the doctor diagnoses her and recommends a suppository to treat her illness. The woman is uneasy about this and doctor offers to help her with it.

The next day the woman asks her husband for help with her suppository. She bends over, he places one hand on her shoulder and inserts the suppository into her.

"SHIT!" the woman screams. "Fuck!"

"I'm so sorry, honey. Did I hurt you?" the husband is frantic with worry.

"No." the woman replies. "I just realized that when the doctor did it he had both hands on my shoulders"


A doctor tells his patient, "I have bad news and worse news."

"The bad news is that you have cancer. The worse news is, you also have Alzheimer's."

The woman sits and thinks for a moment, seeming to ponder these heavy diagnoses. Finally, she says "Well, I guess it could be worse. At least I don't have cancer!"


Doctor: sir I have two bad diagnoses for you...

Doctor: sir I have two bad diagnoses for you, one is that you have worst diarrhoea I have ever seen.
Patient: what's the other one then?
Doctor: you also have very bad amnesia, you can't remember anything from last 15 seconds.
Patient: well at least I don't have diarrhoea.


A duck walks into a bar and says "Quack"

His psychologist takes a sip of his beer, diagnoses the duck as suffering from delusions, and tells the duck to leave his office.


An alcoholic goes to the doctor..

The doctor diagnoses the man and says "You have alcohol poisoning."

The man replies, "I am going to find and KILL the person who poisoned my drinks!"


What are the most funny Diagnoses jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Diagnoses? Well, here are the best Diagnoses dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Diagnoses pick up lines to share with friends.


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