Diabetic Jokes
59 diabetic jokes and hilarious diabetic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about diabetic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article offers a collection of jokes about diabetes.
Funniest Diabetic Short Jokes
Short diabetic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The diabetic humour may include short diabetes jokes also.
- What do you get when you eat 3.14 cakes? Diabetes.
Did you really expect me to make a pie joke on my cake day? No, you get diabetes. All of them at the same time. - I was just on a diabetes information website... It asked if I would accept cookies. Is that a trick question?
- Billy has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes.
Billy has diabetes. - I was telling my wife about how diabetes runs in my family. She told me, "Don't be silly, nobody runs in your family."
- I was on a diabetes awareness website... It asked if I accept cookies. Definitely a trick question!
- Yo mama is so fat that... ...she should really be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem
- What's the worst part about going to the doctor's and finding out you have diabetes? You don't get a lollipop afterwards :/
- If Johnny buys seventeen donuts every Monday and eats twelve of them each Wednesday, what is Johnny left with at the end of the year? Diabetes
- The problem isn't that diabetes runs in the family. The problem is no one runs in the family
- I asked my diabetic friend to fake an emergency so we could get out class. He said "Piece of Cake"
Share These Diabetic Jokes With Friends
Diabetic One Liners
Which diabetic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with diabetic? I can suggest the ones about type 2 diabetes and blood sugar.
- What do you call someone with both Type 1 and Type 2 Diabetes Ambidextrose
- What do you call a cow with no legs? My severely diabetic sister.
- What do you get when you eat 3.14 slice of cake? Diabetes.
- Why cant diabetics have vengeance? Because vengeance is sweet.
- What does a diabetic neckbeard need to survive? Incelin
- What did Santa get the day after Christmas? Diabetes
- Diabetes runs in my family... Because no one else does.
- What's the most insensitive nickname you can give a person with diabetes? Sweet Pee
- If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does John have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.
- What do you never tell your diabetic son? Sweet dreams.
- If you have 13 candy bars and John eats 9, what does John have? Type 2 diabetes
- Your Momma so fat....... Her flesh eating disease got diabetes.
- Why can't diabetics get revenge? Because revenge is sweet.
- Kids living outside of the US won't get this. Type 2 diabetes.
- I told my son to have sweat dreams, but he started crying He has diabetes
Diabetic Diet Jokes
Here is a list of funny diabetic diet jokes and even better diabetic diet puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A diabetic friend I was talking to my diabetic friend the other day. He said, "this new high sugar diet I'm on is great! I lost 30 pounds already. Cost me an arm and a leg though..."
- An Indian diabetic wasn't following his diet... You could say that he was naan-compliant.
- My doctor told me my soda consumption was the cause of my diabetes... so I switched to diet soda, and now I only have diet-betes.
Quirky and Hilarious Diabetic Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about diabetic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dyslexic jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make diabetic pranks.
Yo mama so fat, Dracula s**... her blood and got diabetes.
Jim's car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over...
Jim's car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, Step out of the car says the cop, I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test. I can't , Jim responds You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack. Alright, says the cop, then you're going to have to take a blood test. Can't do that either, Jim responds, I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death. Ok, the cop answers then I will need a u**... sample. Sorry, says Jim I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low. Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me. Can't do that either responds Jim. Why not? Demanded the exasperated cop. Well, because I'm drunk!
What do you get if you mix Coco Pops and milk? Chocolate milk! What do you get if you mix Coco Pops and chocolate milk?
Diabetes
h**... is walking in an extermination camp with the camp manager..
"Why is there such a sweet smell in the air?" h**... asked.
"Today we're burning the diabetic" answered the manager.
On a scale from Casey Anthony to j**... Sandusky... how much do you like kids?...
Somewhere around a Ronald McDonald, I pretend to like them but slowly kill them with diabetes
A man goes to the hospital to see if he has diabetes.
Once he arrives, a nurse asks him for a u**... sample. He complies, and moments later, the nurse comes back into the room with the results.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we've found high traces of glucose in your u**.... You're diabetic." She says.
Disappointed, the man manages to reply, "Well, I'm still very thankful for your help today, nurse."
"Sure thing, sweet pee."
NASA Scientists say its possible to live on Mars.
b**..., I tried it and now I'm 15Kg heavier and diabetic
Researchers in Texas have cured diabetes in mice without side effects.
I bet the scientist that are trying to cure diabetes in humans are so jealous right now.
True story: when I was a kid I used to mix up lyrics. For example, after watching Mary Poppins, I sang "a spoonful of medicine helps the sugar go down." -My dad thought is was SO funny I mixed that line up.
Little did either of us know, I was predicting my future diabetes problems.
Yesterday, I saw a guy harassing a diabetic who recently had parts of his foot amputated.
I guess the first guy was lack toes intolerant.
After years of stuffing her face, my wife finally took it too far and fell into a deep diabetic coma.
After two weeks of no improvement, her doctor took me to one side..
"I'm sorry, but all our tests are indicating no sign of her ever recovering." He told me, sombrely.
"It may be time to take away her life support."
Suddenly, my wife's eyes sprung open and she sat bolt upright in bed..
"Did someone mention takeaway?"
Bob has 69 candy bars. He eats 42 of them and then stops eating. What does he have now?
Diabetes.
A doctor flirted with me today, she said I was really sweet!
I think she meant I was really sweet, she worded it differently and said you're severely diabetic but I know what she meant. She said I'm type 2 and I told her she's my type too
A Frenchman, a German and an American walk into a bar
"I'm tired and thirsty", said the Frenchman, "I must have wine!"
"I'm tired and thirsty", said the German, "I must have beer!"
"I'm tired and thirsty", said the American, "I must have diabetes..."
Free Organic Pathologist Test
Go upto a tree and take a leak:
* If pee attracts ants, you've got diabetes.
* If it dries fast, your sodium is high.
* If it smells like meat, your cholesterol is high.
* If you forgot to unzip, it's Alzheimer's.
* If you missed the tree, Parkinson's.
* If you peed on your shoes, enlarged prostate.
* If you can't smell it, COVID 19.
Ray Charles went to the doctor.
Doctor said, "I got good news and bad news. Which would you like first?"
Ray says, "Give me the bad."
Doctor says, "Well Mr. Charles because of your diabetes we have to amputate your left leg."
Ray, "d**.... Well what's the good news?"
Doctor clears his t**... and sings, "Uh huh, uh huh, you got the right one baby!"
I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes...
Doctor: It sounds like diabetes.