Devout Jokes
29 devout jokes and hilarious devout puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about devout that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Devout Short Jokes
Short devout jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The devout humour may include short devoted jokes also.
- Justin Timberlake was a devout christian during his N-Sync days. He was always reading his Bye Bye Bible.
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Devout One Liners
Which devout one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with devout? I can suggest the ones about faithful and orthodox.
- What does a devout catholic girl do when she gets spanked? She turns the other cheek.
- What did the devout catholic call her Converse? Nun Chucks
- The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
- What do you call an incredibly devout religious dinosaur? Meteorthodox.
- Who is the devout ladies of the animal kingdom? Nonkeys
- What does God call the most his most devout follower? His magnum popeus.
- What is a devout Jew's drug of choice? Hassid.
Uproarious Devout Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about devout you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean loyal jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make devout pranks.
The Lost Bible
One day a devout preacher lost his favorite Bible while he was at a spiritual retreat in the mountains. He was devastated, and began to lose his faith. Three weeks later, a dog walked up to him after church service, carrying the Bible in its mouth. The preacher couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the dog's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the dog. "Your name is written inside the cover."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Maria the Catholic
Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 15 children.
After her first husband died, she remarried and had 15 more children.
A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away.
At Maria's f**..., the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together.
" Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?
The priest replied, "I mean her legs."
Mafia florists
Some Italian mafia members own a florist shop in a city. Theirs is the only florist is the area, and so they control most of the flower business in the area.
One day, however, another florist shop opens up across the street. Afraid for their business, the mafia send one of theirs to rustle the place up, maybe scare them off. But he comes back to report that the florists are all friars! Being devout Catholics, they can't mess with the good friars.
The mafia boss has a solution. He turns to a guy named Hugh.
"Hey Hugh, you're atheist, right?"
"Yes."
"You you'll have no qualms about shaking up that flower shop?"
"I don't see why I would, boss."
Then he puts his hand on Hugh's shoulder, turns to the rest of the group, and says,
"Only Hugh can prevent florist friars."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A devout Muslim entered a cab in London
He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio, because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music, because in the time of the prophet there was no music especially western music, which is the music of the infidel.
The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab, and opened the door. The Arab asked him, "What are you doing?" The cabbie answered,
"In the time of the prophet, there were no taxis, so get off and wait for a camel!"
Maria is a devout Catholic: She gets married and has 17 children.
Soon after the last child is born her husband dies.
A few weeks later she remarries and over the following years has
another 22 children with her second husband.
After the last child is born her second husband also dies.
Within a month Maria is engaged to be married a third time.
Unfortunately she becomes very ill and dies.
At her wake, the priest looks tenderly at Maria as she lies in
her coffin, looks up to the heavens and says,
"At least, they're finally together."
A man standing next to the priest asks,
"Excuse me, Father, but do you mean Maria and her first husband,
or Maria and her second husband?"
The priest says, "I mean her legs."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Old man dies
In his f**..., the priest starts to speak and pays homage to the deceased: "He was a loving man, a devout Christian, a good husband, he raised two wonderful sons..."
The widow turns to her son and tells him discretly: "Go up there take a look at the coffin and make sure it's your dad."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A devout christian Canadian man is walking down the street when a group of Latino male prostitutes walk up to him and ask if he wants to have a good time...
The Canadian man quickly shooed them away yelling as they went "No way h**... eh"
Religious Cowboy
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a toad walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the toad's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" "Not really," said the toad. "Your name is written inside the cover."
One day a devout, Christian man was walking through the forest...
...when he spotted a lion lurking towards him ready to pounce. So, he got on his knees and began to pray to God, "Please, Lord. Let this lion be a Christian lion, so that he will not eat me." The lion then got on his knees and prayed, "Thank you, God for providing me this dinner...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's it called when a devout Catholic wants to have s**... before marriage?
The Poophole Loophole
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the highschool heart throb p**... become a devout Christian?
He heard they had more sects than any other religion.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Trump supporter dies and goes to the pearly gates…
There he sees St Peter and gets excited and walks towards the pearly gates.
St. Peter says, "I want you to know, on the whole you were a good person, that's why you're going in. But we almost had to send you to h**... because you voted for Trump."
"What do you mean? Trump is the best president ever and a devout Christian!"
St. Peter snorts and says, "He's nothing of the sort. He's vain, greedy, an adulterer, racist, and corrupt. As soon as he dies we're sending him straight to h**...."
The Trump supporter shakes his head, his eyes wide and mutters unhappily, "Oh my gosh. I didn't realize the deep state went this far!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Inigo dies and ascends to heaven...
At the Pearly Gates, he meets Saint Peter.
St. Peter: Inigo Montoya, you are in the wrong place. You should go to Jannah, as you are a Muslim.
Inigo: St. Peter, I am a devout Christian. Why do you say I am a Muslim?
St. Peter: We have records of you always using you left hand to wash yourself after you do a No. 2.
Inigo bursts out laughing and St. Peter asks: Inigo, why are you laughing?
Inigo: Because I know something you don't know! I am not left-handed!
A Priest Dies and Goes to Heaven...
A priest dies and meets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter says to him, "Welcome to Heaven; for your devout service to God, we have your accommodations ready."
It was a one room shack. His neighbor, a cab driver, had a stately mansion.
Weeks go by, and the priest seeks out St. Peter again. "I don't mean to complain, but I don't understand why my living quarters are sparse, when compared to that of my neighbor."
"Oh, that's simple," said St. Peter. "You put your congregation to sleep with your sermons. The cabbie, on the other hand, made his passengers pray with his driving."
The flood is coming.
It was all over the news, "the flood is coming." Being the devout man he was, Johnny decided to wait until God sent him a sign before he evacuated.
The water came up to his doorstep and his neighbor paddled by with a canoe. "Get in!" his neighbor yelled. "No, I'm waiting for a sign from God," he replied.
And he waited.
The water came up to his second floor. Johnny got on his roof. The Coast Guard came by with a helicopter. Johnny refused to get in. "I'm waiting for a sign from God," he yelled.
Johnny drowns and goes to heaven. Upon meeting God, he asks God "why didn't you send me a sign!? I'm a devout guy, all I needed was a sign."
God replies, "I put it on the news, I sent a canoe and I sent a helicopter! What else do you want from me!?"
