Devil Jokes
154 devil jokes and hilarious devil puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about devil that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for some devilishly funny jokes? Look no further! Laugh your tricks and treats off this Halloween with our devil jokes! Featuring humorous tales of Tasmanian Devils, Duke Blue Devils, Cat Devils, and even the fiery pits of the Inferno, these sinful, brimstone-filled jokes will have everyone in stitches all night long!
Quick Jump To
- Short Devil Jokes
- Devil One Liners
- Satan Devil Jokes
- Deal With The Devil Jokes
- Tasmanian Devil Jokes
- Duke Blue Devil Jokes
- More Devil Jokes
Funniest Devil Short Jokes
Short devil jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The devil humour may include short angel jokes also.
- I stabbed a vampire, beat zombies to death and killed devil itself... my wife rushes through the room and shouts, "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE THEM CANDIES, FRANK"
- Devil: This is the lake of lava you will be spending eternity in Me: Actually, since we're underground, it would be magma
Devil: You understand this is why you're here, right? - I think my wife has weekly sessions with the devil on how to be more evil. I don't know what she charge him for it though.
- Have you seen the new Exorcist movie? This time it's the devil trying to get the priest out of the child.
- Did you know that if you play Nickelback backwards you can hear the devil? But what's even worse is that if you play it forwards you can hear nickelback
- My ex had weekly lessons with the devil on how to become more evil I still don't know how much she charged him though.
- The devil asked his resident weatherman what the forecast was for the week ahead... "Hail, Satan"
- Have you heard about the sequel to the Exorcist ? In the new version, a woman hires the Devil
to get a priest out of her son. - Did you hear about the reverse exorcism? The devil was trying to get the priest out of the little boy!
- You know, I bet that actress from The Devil Wears Prada could do anything she puts her mind to. Where Anne Hathawill,
Anne Hathaway.
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Devil One Liners
Which devil one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with devil? I can suggest the ones about wizard and demon.
- Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale La La Land?
- There's a youtube channel about devil worship. But it got demonetized.
- Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to santa.
- How do you cure a deviled egg? Call an eggsorcist!
- If Satanists had missionaries... would they be called Devil's Advocates?
- Why don't programers pay tax to the Devil? Because that would be a sin-tax issue.
- Never get stuck behind The Devil in a line at the DMV. For The Devil can take many forms.
- How does the devil measure his drugs? In pentagrams
- Why did the Devil get arrested? Possession.
- What do you call a devil, that can't swim? Sin-king
- What does an evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs
- What happened to the dyslexic devil worshiper? He sold his soul to santa
- Why did the Satanic cults' feet hurt? They sold their soles to the devil.
- The devil whispered "I'm coming for you." And I whispered back. "That's gay"
- Yo mama is so ugly when the devil saw her, he started praying.
Satan Devil Jokes
Here is a list of funny satan devil jokes and even better satan devil puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If I had to wrestle Satan and was allowed to pick a partner, I'd pick Bob Ross He always knew how to beat the devil.
- Why does it take so long when Satan is in front of you in line at the post office? Because the devil takes many forms.
- Beware of Lil Nas X's Satan Shoes. The devil might steal your sole.
- Never stand behind Satan at the post office For the devil takes many forms
- Some of my Satan worshiping friends invited me to an open discussion on Satanism... I'm not a Satanist myself, but I do like to play Devil's advocate...it was very confusing.
- You'll never see Satan stoop to wearing Armani. 'Cause the Devil wears Prada.
- What did satan worshippers have for breakfast? Devilled eggs!
- What did Captain Kirk say when he decided to dabble in devil worship? Uhura, hail Satan.
- What's Satan favorite food? Deviled eggs.
- *watches as both hands turn into devils* *looks over sink*
HAND SATANIZER
"Oh, this is just great"
Deal With The Devil Jokes
Here is a list of funny deal with the devil jokes and even better deal with the devil puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A cucumber made a deal with the devil. He is quite in a pickle now.
Source: Stole it. - The Devil went down to Georgia . . . And obviously reneged on his deal with Falcons fans.
- They say John Mayer made a deal with the devil... Nobody knows what John got, but the devil got guitar lessons!
- Did you hear about the cobbler who made a deal with the devil? He sold his sole
- Why doesn't the devil make deals with gingers? Because gingers have no souls.
Tasmanian Devil Jokes
Here is a list of funny tasmanian devil jokes and even better tasmanian devil puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why didn't Noah let the Tasmanian devil in? He was not an archdevil.
Duke Blue Devil Jokes
Here is a list of funny duke blue devil jokes and even better duke blue devil puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why are the students at duke so depressed? They're the *blue* devils!
Giggle-Inducing Devil Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about devil you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean enemy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make devil pranks.
Did y'all hear about the new Exorcist movie? Apparently there's a twist.
The devil comes to take the priest out of the kid.
So a doctor has s**... with one of his patients...
And is feeling pretty down about it. On his left shoulder appears a devil. The devil consoles him saying "Hey man, don't even worry about it. Doctors have s**... with their patients all the time. You are definitely not the only one." Then on his right shoulder appears an angel who says "Come on man! You're a vet!!"
Sun Devil Fans
What is the difference between a Sun Devil fan and a pet rock?
About 3 IQ points
Why does the Devil hate the holiday Season?
Because he gets so many letters from dyslexic children.
Latvian man dies of hunger.
He sees St Peter at Pearly Gate. St Peter give him bread and say, "Struggle over now". Man cry from happy. But, look again! St Peter is really devil, and bread have worm. Struggle continues.
A lawyer is meeting the devil to make a deal
... and says, "Alright, I want to win my next 10 cases in a row, for settlements of no less than $1 million!"
The Devil replies, "Ok mister lawyer, but in return, I demand the souls of your wife and child for 1000 years!"
The lawyer scratches his head and says, "I don't get it, where's the catch?"
From my dad.
Sonic the Hedgehog sells his soul to the Devil.
Gotta go Faust!
na today be today
*An American, an English man, and a Nigerian were on a ship. Suddenly the Devil appeared and said, Drop anything in the sea, if I find it I will eat u, If I can't, I will be your s**...! The American dropped a pin, the Devil found it and ate him. The English man dropped a coin, the Devil found it and ate him too. The Nigerian opened a bottle of water, poured it in the sea and said, Na today be today, go find am! .
A woman comes home from a date
And she was disappointed.
Her mom asked her how the date went, and she said "It was going great, and then John proposed to me."
"That's great! Why are you so sad?" Her mom replied.
"Because he also told me that he is an atheist, and he doesn't believe that god or the devil exists." The girl said.
Her mother smiled. "No devil? Marry him, and between the two of us, we can show him just how wrong he is."
If you take the D out of Devil what do you get?
D
Why are fat people always possessed by the devil?
They never exorcise.
A man and a woman had a quarrel
Woman: If I had known that my life would become like this, I should have just married the devil himself.
Man: But getting married with your relatives is a t**..., isn't it?
Two boys were walking home from church after hearing a strong preaching on the devil...
One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?"
The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad"
Why did the devil buy so many shoes?
He wanted their soles.
A Preacher and the Devil
TIL that the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has it's own version of the devil . . .
You will know this fake Flying Spaghetti Monster by his name, for he is known as the Im-Pasta.
they say that if you play nickelback backwards, it's devil worship...
But even worse, if you play it forwards it's nickelback
Who did the dyslexic devil worshipper sell his soul to?
Santa
Did you guys hear about the new exorcist movie?
where the woman hires the devil to pull the priest out of her son.
God had asked Jesus and the Devil to type out their quarterly reviews...
They are almost finished when suddenly, the power goes out. When it comes back on and they reboot their desktops, the Devil's screen is blank while Jesus's reviews stayed intact. Frustrated, the Devil asks Jesus why he still has his reviews. Jesus's response, "Jesus saves."
God and the devil were arguing with each other...
... God says to him "I've had it! I'm taking you to court." The devil says back "yeah? Well where are you going to get a lawyer?"
So I was talking to the devil, and I asked him about his job...
He told me "It's soul crushing and I love it."
There was a dyslexic devil worshipor.
He sold his soul to santa
The devil and a lawyer are having a conversation
The devil says, "I will give you the ability to win every case you get, in exchange for your soul." The lawyer replies, "Okay, what's the catch?"
According to the bible, women's first mistake was listening to the devil.
Man's first mistake was listening to the woman.
Why did the banjo player get into heaven?
The devil has standards.
Why can the Devil never go back to Georgia?
He fiddled up a little kid.
Devil in the Church
One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.
Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
Perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
Husband and wife having an argument
Husband and wife are having an argument and the wife says "It would have been better if I married to the devil instead of you!". The husband looks at his wife and goes "That's inbreeding."
Hillary Clinton says to the Devil, "What happened? You promised me that I'd win the election?"
The Devil replies, "Yeah, and you promised me a soul."
A couple were having an argument
Angry Wife: "I should have married the Devil... He would make a better husband than you!"
Husband: "Honey, you would have been arrested!! Marriage between relatives is i**... in this country!" ...
Little Johnny
A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, "Johnny, do you believe in the Devil?"
"No," said Little Johnny knowledgeably. "It's just like with Santa Claus. I know it's really my dad."
In a furious argument, the wife tells her husband...
- I should have married the devil instead of you!
- Well, that's impossible. Marriage between cousins is forbidden!
When the devil goes out drinking, he makes all the demons wear robes.
He likes jinn in tunics.
What did Bob Ross say to the p**...?
"Just beat the devil out of it"
During 1900 when looking for a vote, Churchill asked a person for his support, to which the man responded:
"Vote for you? I'd rather vote for the devil."
Churchill replied: "I quite understand, but since that man is not running this time, could I count on your support?"
Why did the pc player cross the road?
To sell their soul to the devil for a graphics card.
What's the Devils favorite type of meal?
Soul food!
Just delete me
In an all out fight between a married couple
The wife says: I would be better of marrying the devil instead of you!
The husband replies: no you couldn't. Marriage between family members is not legal!
In my credit card statement there was an extra 6**...$ charge written in tiny fonts ...
As usual, the devil is in the details ...
If you play Nickelback backwards...
You hear messages from the devil...
But even worse if you play Nickelback forwards you hear Nickelback!!!
A Chinese man
Sold his soul to the devil. After two days it broke
I hear the devil is good at gardening.
Why else would everyone want his lettuce so badly?
Voltaire moments before death
I don't know if this has been on here but my high school teacher told me this a while ago.
On his death bed, a priest came to Voltaire's home and told him there was still time to go to heaven if he accepts Jesus as his lord and savior and reject the devil and all his beliefs.
Voltaire then says, now is not the time be making enemies.
Why is the Devil masculine?
He's evil with a D.
Meanwhile at a catholic church...
We pray you Saint Anne...
The devil appears: Oh, it's you guys again. For Pete's sake stop calling me if you don't mean it and at least pronounce my name right.
(Made this up myself, still giggling...)
If the rap god and rap devil are fighting?
Does that mean we all missed the rapture?
Two h**... are discussing plans for dinner
After throwing ideas back and forth of what to cook, their eyes catch some roadkill on the side of the road. One of them eagerly suggests, "how about Himalayan Woodchuck?"
"Himalayan Woodchuck?" the other h**... scoffed. "What in the devil is that?"
"You know," the other says, gesturing towards the corpse, "because we found Himalayan on the side of the road."
A 6 legged insect came up to me and said Help, my wife, Eve, has eaten an apple and is now trapped by the devil! I asked him, are you sure?
He replied, yes, I'm Adam-ant
A catholic priest was praying Saint Anne.
The devil appears: Whazzzzup homie, why you pronounce my name so funny?
A man goes to see his priest.
Father, my life is terrible, I have so many problems.
The priest tells him that he needs an exorcism to cast the devil out of his life.
Can't do that father, I have 3 chidren with her.
Last Dad Joke of the day for me
Two boys are walking home from Sunday School after hearing some strong preaching about the devil.
One says to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff"?
The other says "Well you know how Santa turned out to be, it's probably just your Dad".
God decided to take the devil court..
When l**... heard the news he laughed and said, "where does the fool think he's gonna find a lawyer".
Devil in the detail....
I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism. If I don't pay it back, I'm going to get repossessed.
Drunks
Drunk guy: "Here's hoping you're in Heaven ten minutes before
the devil knows you're dead!"
Drunk girl: "What's that mean?"
Drunk guy: "It's an Irish toast."
Drunk girl: "Oh. Well, here's to bread, eggs and cinnamon."
Drunk guy: "Huh?"
Drunk girl: "That's
It's not easy being a dyslexic devil worshiper
If you're not careful, you could end up selling your soul to Santa
Y'all ever heard of reverse exorcism?
It's when the devil tells the priest to exit the child's body
The devil
One day the devil came to a church Ina burst of smoke and flame. He ran up and down the aisles shouting "l**... is my name!" "I am evil incarnate, the sum of all your fears!" An old man faced him, said "you don't scare me, I've been married to your sister for the last 48 years!"
The devil has started to get really self conscious about his receding hairline and is planning to take out his anger on the humans if he cant find a solution.....
There's going to be h**... toupee
Why should you never give the Devil a wig?
Because there'd be h**... toupee.
An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him.
The Devil told the lawyer, ''I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife's soul, your children's souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and law partners.''
The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, ''So, what's the catch?''
