Device Jokes
117 device jokes and hilarious device puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about device that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article examines the lighter side of technology by exploring the best device jokes and puns. Discover a variety of jokes related to medical devices, Apple devices, literary devices, contraptions, and iPatches. Get your best laughs from these FAA-approved quips!
Quick Jump To
- Short Device Jokes
- Device One Liners
- Apple Device Jokes
- Android Device Jokes
- Medical Device Jokes
- Literary Device Jokes
- More Device Jokes
Funniest Device Short Jokes
Short device jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The device humour may include short instrument jokes also.
- What is the difference between USA and USB? One connects to all of your devices and accesses the data, the other is a hardware standard.
- Muslim scientists.. Muslim scientists have invented a time-travel device that can transport an entire country back to the dark ages.
They're calling it 'Islam'. - Wouldn't it have been amazing if John Lennon had invented that device that you put in your front door to secretly see who's on the other side... I mean, imagine all the peepholes.
- I made a device that travels to the past to make sure food is properly seasoned. I call it my Thyme Machine
- I made a Tech Joke Q: What did one device say to the other?
A: Are you syncing what I"m syncing? - A merchant told another "I'll trade you a barium atom and two sodiums for that weight measuring device." "BaNaNa for scale?"
- What's the difference between USA and USB? One connects to your devices and gathers your personal data, and the other is an industry standard.
- What an Idea..!!! My laboratory assistant has invented a device that allows you to steal other people's ideas and then permanently delete them from the subject's memory.
Why didn't I think of that? - Have you heard about the device that automatically swaps out Xbox discs for you? It's a game changer.
- To all the Android users who just can't seem to gain administrator access to their devices on their own: We're rooting for you!
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Device One Liners
Which device one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with device? I can suggest the ones about machine and gadget.
- What does the apple user do when he wants to customize his device? He adjusts the volume.
- Have you seen Stephen Hawking's new communication device? It really speaks for itself.
- What does a frog use to conceal itself? A croaking device.
- What device can make prostitution legal? A camera.
- What device did God use to communicate with millennials? A tablet.
But not from Apple. - If you're looking at this with your device in your hands or lap I guess the jokes on you
- What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage? A croaking device.
- What is Captain Picard's favourite gaming device? N-Gage.
- Dad invented a device which allows people to see through doors He called them "windows"
- Why can't you connect 2 speakers at the same time to an apple device? They work in pears.
- Did you hear about that giant cooling device in Florida? It was a Miami heat fan.
- What's the best car safety device? A rearview mirror with a police car in it.
- How does Kylo Ren talk on the phone in his helmet? He uses a hans free device
- What operating system does Thanos' devices run on? ThanOS
- What device does Mario use to communicate with the dead? A Lou-ouija board.
Apple Device Jokes
Here is a list of funny apple device jokes and even better apple device puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Earliest-known Ten Commandments tablet sells at auction for $850000 Bumping Apple off the top spot for most expensive mobile device without a headphone jack.
- Apple is trying to market its new iPod to the lower demographic with a newly named device ... ... however they decided "iTouch Kids" was not a good name.
- Did anyone see Apple's new device targeted for women consumers? Its called the MaxiPad
- Apple just announced new plans for the iPhone 8... It wont be a physical device, it will be iMaginary!
- What slick new device did the pirate get from the Apple Store? The ipatch.
- I read that Apple has been leaking images of a new device marketed towards women. They're calling it the Max iPad
- There's a lot of talk about apples new sister device... But I don't know how ISIS sounds
- Apple is working on an electronic seeing device for the Navy It's going to be called the I-Eye Captain
- £10,000 worth of devices were stolen from an apple store last night. Police are hopeful that the 3 phones will be found.
- Have you heard about the new device Apple are doing for policemen? It's called the iPlod.
Android Device Jokes
Here is a list of funny android device jokes and even better android device puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A recent survey says women prefer 4-5 inches over 6 inches and bigger, citing a "better fit" being one of the top reasons While preference between Android and iOS devices are evenly split.
Medical Device Jokes
Here is a list of funny medical device jokes and even better medical device puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What medical device helps people that are uncomfortable looking at male genitalia? A cockleer implant.
Literary Device Jokes
Here is a list of funny literary device jokes and even better literary device puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What literary devices do butchers use? Meataphors.
Comical Device Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about device you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean equipment jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make device pranks.
A woman goes into labor with her child.
The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
Nurse walks into the doctors office and says: Doctor, there's a man here who says he's invisible.
Oh that's my pal Steve from the optics lab at DARPA. They're developing electromagnetic metamaterials to use in a cloaking device.
Tell him I can't see him now.
They tried to combine a networked hard drive with a device that brewed drinks...
It was NAS-tea
Mr T and I were thinking about scaling a glass wall.
We were looking at the standard equipment and the fancy equipment too. I selected the most basic suction device for my ascent, and suggested Mr T do likewise.
He looked at me and said, "I ain't using no plain s**...!"
What do you call a Jewish incendiary device?
A mazal tov cocktail
Hi, how much for this t**... device?
Sir, that's a wedding ring.
"So do you want me to climb up with my bare hands or can I use some sort of climbing device?"
The latter.
Researchers recently unveiled a device will launch stinging insects at high speeds.
It has beegun.
What do you call the device that keeps an armenian man safe?
A Serj Protector.
Holding down the power button until my device turns off feels like strangling someone until they stop breathing.
Except I usually hope my device turns back on.
Did you hear about the amazing new prosthetic device for paraplegics?
It's called a Vegetable Stand.
Scientists have invented a new device called the hyperbole chamber.
It is the greatest and best thing ever since the dawn of civilization.
I bought my wife a desalination device for her birthday
Oddly enough, she's been real salty about it ever since
If I had to choose between a stepstool and a device that let's me get even higher...
...I'd take the ladder.
(I'll just leave now)
I keep getting fired...
...and every time it happens, I walk into the Human Resources manager's office to find an alien sitting there coring apples with its pharyngeal jaws. Starting to see a pattern, I've come up with a device that will let me know *before* I enter the office, so I can merely pack up my things and go. I call it the HR Giger Counter.
I made a device that lets me hear diseases.
Hearing cancer is great and all, but hearing AIDS s**....
A paranoid man stays at a hotel,
As per habit, he checks every inch of his hotel room looking for mics, cameras or any surveillance device.
Sure enough, right in the centre of the room, under the bed, under the carpet is a small, black metal object firmly bolted to the floor.
He takes out his equipment, detaches the metal object & throws it out the window.
The next morning the hotel manager knocks on his door & asks him,
"Good morning sir, did you have any problems last night?"
"Not at all" the man answered, "why do you ask?"
"Well, it's very strange" said the manager, "but in the room directly below yours, the chandelier suddenly fell down in the middle of the night".
I know why Hogwarts doesn't have math class. They have a magical device for it.
It's called a calculator.
Yesterday I killed a pair of pigeons with an unmanned flying device.
You could say I killed two birds with one drone!
Measuring device.
The device used to measure people's gullibility is called a Gullibilometer.
I just invented a device with which you can look through the walls.
Its called window.
What device is best to measure a mother's temperature?
A ther-mom-meter
From my 10 year old who had the flu the past couple of days.
Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter?
Yeah it fits right in her mouth.
Came up with the perfect name for my printer earlier...
The Device Formerly Known as Prints
I used to be sesquipedally loquacious
I got bullied because I couldn't even explain that that meant I was talking all the time with big and overly complicated words.
That's when the e**... made physical contact with a hydro-electric powered oscillating air current distribution device.
If i had a cloning device
I'd be beside myself
The most well known person in the world
Some Spanish guy named "Manual"... A copy of his autobiography, printed in multiple languages, comes free with every electronic device or machinery... although much of his life story is lost in translation.
In the future, theft will be automated by a device.
Its name will be *robbot*.
Now that webcams and "always listening" devices are in nearly every home, developers can finally release their smart beverage device...
iCUP
Kim jong il takes Kim jong un on a visit to a food processing company.
Il points at a machine and says: This one, you put a pig into it and sausages will come out on the other side. The power of science is amazing! To which Un replied: Is there a device then, where you put in a sausage, and pig comes out?
•
Kim jong il: YOURMOM
They Just Released Stephen Hawking's Last Words
"1 percent battery life remaining. Please find nearest charger and plug in device"
Im currently doing my dissertation on the safety of a new handheld device for the world health organisation
New phone WHO diss
When they ban the device I use to s**... my drink up into my mouth...
That will be the last straw.
I've been calibrating my new device which measures the electric charge of subatomic particles by testing it on Protons
So far, the results have been positive.
My seismic device has been stolen...
...The results could be earth-shattering
I have the memory of a goldfish
And a Nobel prize for inventing the device that could extract it.
I was hungry and low on potassium, He needed a device to help him weigh things, it seemed like a fair trade...
Banana for scale
They just invented a mobile computing device that also plays guitar
The "Eric Claptop"
I was having issues getting my phone audio to connect to my car stereo
So I changed the name of my device to "Titanic".
Now its syncing.
They are working on a nuclear device in Hawaii
The Nukeulele
What's a pirate's favorite device to store data on ?
CD-r**...
Excuse me, how much is this t**... device?
Sir, that is wedding ring.
A woman goes into labor with her child
The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father.
He asks if it is ok to use the new device.
The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%.
The man feels nothing.
They then bump it up to 20%.
He still feels nothing.
They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%.
The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
There is a new male contraceptive device. It's a pill,
you put it in your shoe, it makes you limp.
A man working on an imaginary high voltage transformer was found dead in his home.
He had apparently received a fatal shock from the fictitious device.
Investigators who later examined it concluded that this was because it was not grounded in reality.
If duct taping a Matchbox Trans Am to one's ear and pretending it's a Bluetooth device is wrong, then maybe—
hang on... I've gotta take this.
A man walks into a strange new store and asks the owner, "How much for this t**... device?"
The owner replies, "Sir, that's a wedding ring."
I used to have this amazing device that would lead me to the most delicious mushrooms
But now it seems i've lost my Morel Compass
A man realized he needed to pu...
A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn't want to spend a lot of money. "How much do they cost?" he asked the salesman.
"Anything from $2 to $2,000."
"Can I see the $2 model?" said the customer.
The salesman put the device around the man's neck, and said: "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down into your pocket."
"How does it work?" asked the customer.
"For $2, it doesn't work," said the salesman. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder."
Dave Drowned
So at his f**..., we put a flotation device on top of his coffin.
It's what he would have wanted.
A friend was having trouble with her oldschool mechanical typewriter.
She said 'It's great to have such a retro device, however it doesn't work properly'.
I asked 'What is wrong with it?'
She replied 'Well some of the keys get stuck and I have to move them back manually'
'Ah I think I have a solution'
'Please tell me'
'Well what you need to do is press W, D, 4, T, all at once and it should loosen up'.
More of a story than a joke, but it's worth it.
Tony, a friend and mentor of mine (a dad figure) used to start talking about his fantastic new hearing aid, telling anyone who would listen about how everything sounded so clear to him now that he had this new device. He would say, "It's a new kind; it's NOT a MiracleEar." Of course once he told them what it was not, the natural response generally followed, "What kind is it?"
All this set-up and he would check his watch and respond, "About 4:30" (or whatever time it was)
Feeling strange, Mr. Bond? That's because I've laced your martini with a measles vaccine. The autism should be setting in any second now.
Joke's on you, I already disassembled your doomsday device and rearranged all the parts in order of size.
I invented an item that helps you stop smoking, drinking, and gambling.
It is quite the de-vice.
A man has an interview for a Sales Manager position at a company.
During the interview, the Hiring Manager pulls out a brand new laptop and sets it on the desk in front of him.
If you're as good as you say you are – sell me this laptop.
The man picks the device up, studied it for a few seconds, then puts it under his arm and walks out the door.
He's halfway down the hall when the Hiring Manager shouts, Hey! Bring me back that laptop!
To which the man turns and replies, £200 and it's yours.
- Good afternoon. How much is this t**... device?
\-Sir, that's a wedding ring
There are many good reasons why you shouldn't leave your cloning device out in the woods
But the obvious bears repeating
