Devastating Jokes
30 devastating jokes and hilarious devastating puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about devastating that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Devastating Short Jokes
Short devastating jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The devastating humour may include short devastated jokes also.
- My wife gets upset when I steal her kitchen utensils... But it's a whisk I'm willing to take.
- My girlfriend was devastated when she found out the reason why my nickname is The Love Machine . It's because I'm terrible at tennis.
- My girlfriend was devastated to find out that my mates call me 'The Love Machine' because I'm terrible at tennis.
- My obese parrot just died. I am devastated, but at the same time it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
- Have you heard about that new virus that is devastating the bird population? It's called Chirpies.
What's most heartbreaking about it is that it's...
untweetable. - When I found out my wife was cheating on me, I was devastated. I turned to religion to cope. Now I'm Muslim and we're stoning her tomorrow.
- So apparently justin timberlake is going to write a song for all the people that have been devastated by the crisis in Ukraine. It's going to be called 'Crimea River'.
- I went to the doctor today. He told me I was colorblind. I was devastated. That diagnosis really came out of the orange!
- Just saw a poor girl crying in the library, devastated about something. So I pulled up a chair, leaned in and said "You can shut up or go outside, I've got an exam tomorrow".
- I'm devastated that I won't be able to celebrate my birthday this March I was born in November
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Devastating One Liners
Which devastating one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with devastating? I can suggest the ones about heartbreaking and horrific.
- There was a devastating fire in my shoe shop. So many lost Soles.
- We had a devastating earthquake recently The mayor says it was all his fault
- Japan was devastated when the US bombed them in WW2 But everything is Okay-nowa
- This earthquake news is devastating It's really got me shaken up
- I was absolutely devastated when my horse died. I had a lot of money riding on that race.
- I'm devastated. My pet rat Elvis just died. He was caught in a trap
- Can Bernie Sanders recover? From his devastating win in Michigan?
- If Kim Jong Un were to lose his job, it would be a devastating blow to his Korea....
- I ran over my wife yesterday I was devastated, but she was crushed
- I live every day like it's my last. Devastated.
- What was the most devastating thing in WW2. The environment was ruined from the gas.
- Devastation It's the terminal where buses stop and you get on them
- It's not the size of the wave... It's how many ships it has devastated.
- I woke up devastated this morning then I realised it said Robin not Robbie.
Cheeky Devastating Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about devastating you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean crippling jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make devastating pranks.
That's a lot of zeros
An aide comes into the Oval Office and says to Trump:
"Sir, three Brazilian solders were killed in Afghanistan last night."
Trump looks absolutely devastated, nobody's ever seen him like this.
He sinks back in his chair, saying oh my god over and over.
Then he composes himself and says:
Okay. Just remind me, how many are there in a brazillion?"
TIL s**... donors are paid $50 per donation.
It was devastating. Imagine all the money that has slipped through my fingers.
There's a Russian gay couple...
One of them is called Vladislav, the other is called Karl. After happily loving each other for a fair few years, Karl discovers Vladislav is having an affair with Vladimir.
Devastated, Karl gets onto his knees in front of Vladislav and bellows:
"VLADISLAV? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more!"
The Lost Bible
One day a devout preacher lost his favorite Bible while he was at a spiritual retreat in the mountains. He was devastated, and began to lose his faith. Three weeks later, a dog walked up to him after church service, carrying the Bible in its mouth. The preacher couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the dog's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the dog. "Your name is written inside the cover."
A border patrol official comes into the Oval Office and says to Trump...
"Sir, because of the trauma of being separated from their parents, three Brazilian children fell deeply sick last night." Trump looks absolutely devastated. He sinks back in his chair, murmuring "oh my god" to himself over and over. Then he composes himself and says: "Okay. Just remind me, how many are there in a brazillion?"
This used to be my Dad's favorite joke. "The End of the World"
The world is ending by nuclear warfare and there are three men riding on a plane to a fallout shelter where they would be safe and ride out the devastation. The three men are: the president, the pope, and a young hippie.
Suddenly, as they are nearing their destination, the plane malfunctions and is going down quickly. The three passengers look at each other, then realize: there are only two parachutes.
The President hastily grabs a bag and before jumping out of the hatch says," I am God's gift to you all! I rule the United States! I am the leader this world will need! I am the SMARTEST man on this planet!"
Realizing they don't have much time the pope quickly says to the hippie, "My son, you have many more years to live than I, it would only be right for you to seize this opportunity and fulfill-"
The hippie begins laughing, startling the pope into silence, and says, "Don't worry Father, the smartest man on the planet just jumped out of the plane with my backpack on!"
A mother finds out she has cancer
A mother and daughter visit the doctor to get the results of the mom's pap-smear.
"It's stage-4 cervical cancer. You have 1 month left", the doctor says.
The mother is devastated. She gathers all her girlfriends for one last brunch.
At the brunch she announces, "Bad news, the doctor said I have 1 month to live. I have AIDS."
Her friends are shocked. They offer their condolences and hurriedly depart.
"But mom", the daughter protests "You have cancer. Why did you tell them you have AIDS?"
Mom replies, "Because I don't want any of them sleeping with your father."
a husband is about to die...
he goes out with his friends to give them the bad news. he tells them he has an announcement to make
-" i wanted to thank you guys for being there for me, i want to inform you that i have AIDS and i will die in a week. "
everyone was devastated cried and left with their heart a little broken.
when the man arrived home, he told his wife everything. after finishing she screamed:
-"AIDS! why did you tell them you have AIDS? you have cancer, not aids!"
the man turns to his wife and says.
-"im going to die, but im going to make sure no one goes to bed with you too".
