The Best 44 Deux Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Deux jokes. There are some deux scratcher jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these deux croissant puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Deux Jokes and Puns

a little french humour

There once was a cat named une deux trois

One day une deux trois ran away from home, he found himself at a cross roads and decided that he wanted to see the other side of the river. He got onto the bridge and then a few seconds later. . . . the bridge collapsed!

So une deux trois quatre cinq

2 cats are racing across the English Channel,

an English cat named "123" and a French cat named "Un deux trois." Which cat won the race?

A: The English cat. Un deux trois cat sank.

Un Deux Trois

A French cat called Un Deux Trois attempted to swim the English Channel last weekend but sadly didn't make it and drowned. It was all over the news the next day; "Un Duex Trois Cat Sank"

Deux joke, Un Deux Trois

Did you hear what happened to the four French cats who got in a boat meant for three?

Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq.

Cat Race

So, England and France have a friendly contest to see which country is superior. They do this by having a cat race, in which the French cat, 'Un Duex Trois, and English cat 'One Two Three' will race across the channel.

The race starts and One Two Three cat speeds across the water, easily winning.

Unfortunately, Un Deux Trois cat sank.

Two cats are swimming across a river

One is called "One Two Three" the other is called "Un Deux Trois." Which cat survives?

"One Two Three"
because un deux trois cat sank

Disclaimer; not original, just saw it online and thought you'd all appreciate

There are 2 cats. One is called "One Two Three" and the other is called "Un Deux Trois", which is the best at swimming?

"One Two Three" obviously.

Because "Un Deux Trois" cat sank

Deux joke, There are 2 cats. One is called "One Two Three" and the other is called "Un Deux Trois", which is th

Two cats cross a river... first cats name is un deux trois. The second cats name is one two three. Which cat made it across?

The second cat because un deux trois cat sank.

Two cats are swimming across a river

One's name is "one two three", and the other's name is "Un deux trois".
One two three made it across but Un deux trois cat sank

Two cats crossing a river

Two cats are swimming across a river.
Only one of them made it.
One cat was named one, two, three and the other cat was named un, deux, trois.
Which one made it across the english or the french cat?

The english cat of course, un, deux, trois cat sank.

*basic knowledge of french required, if you don't understand the joke.

Swimming Cats

There are 2 cats, an English cat and a French cat, in a contest to swim the English Channel. The English cat is called the one two three cat, and the French cat is called the un deux trois cat. who won?

The English cat. The un deux trois quatre cinq.

You can explore deux poe reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean deux partie dad jokes. There are also deux puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Three cats are competing in a race.

There's an American cat named "One Two Three," a German cat named "Ein Zwei Drei," and a French cat named "Un Deux Trois." The cats all swim across a lake. The American cat finishes first, the German cat finishes second, but the French cat is nowhere to be found.


Because the un deux trois quatre cinq.

2 Cats on the Titanic

So there were 2 cats on the Titanic. The first was called "One two three" and the other was "Un deux trois".
"One two three" cat was rescued.
But "Un deux trois" cat sank.

'One two three' cat and 'Un deux trois' cat decided to have a boat race. Who won?

'One two three' cat, because 'Un deux trois' cat sank.

Rabinowitz: Whatcha reading?

Rabinowitz: Whatcha reading?
Topper: Great Expectations.
Rabinowitz: Is it any good?
Topper: Its not all I hoped for.

Hot Shots Part Deux.

Best joke in the movie.

Un deux trois quatre cinq six sept ACHOO!

Sorry, I have a wheat allergy.

Deux joke, Un deux trois quatre cinq six sept ACHOO!

British & French cats swim across the channel

A British cat called "one two three" swims across the English Channel. At the same time, a French cat called "un deux trois", swims from the opposite direction. Which cat makes it? "one two three" because un deux trois Cat Sank.

Three cats are crossing a river.

One of them is called "One Two Three"
The second is called " Un deux trois"
The third is called "Ein zwei"
What is the order of them crossing?

So One Two Three gets to the other side first because the Un Deux Trois cat sank.

But the Ein Zwei cat is still drei because it has a vier of the water.

Not my own joke, just added the extra cat.

TIL Kim Jong Un has a brother.

Folks just call him Kim Jong Deux.

An English cat, a Spanish cat, and a French cat are in a swimming race

The English cat's name is One two three. The Spanish cat's name is Uno dos tres. The French cat's name is Un deux trois.

The English cat came in first, the Spanish cat came in second, but the French cat was nowhere to be found.

The Un deux trois quatre cinq

2 cats have a swim race - one is English, the other French...

Each cat is named 'One, two, three' in its own language. Which cat won?

The English cat, because the un deux trois cat sank.

There were three cats swimming across a river

Their names were un cat, deux cat, and trois cat. Only un cat and deux cat made it across. Why? Because trois quatre cinq.

(You probably don't get it if you're not English-French bilingual)

Two cats, un deux trois & one two three are trying to cross a river. Which cat made it across?

One two three because un deux trois quatre cinq.

There were once three cats on a boat, named une, deux and trois

The boat crashed and une deux trois cats sank.

There's two cats, and both have to swim across a lake.

The first cats name is One, two, three, while the second cats name is Un, deux, trois. Which cat makes it to the other side of the lake?

One, two, three makes it across because Un, deux trois, quatre, cinq.

This is by far one of the worst jokes I've ever heard and you can only understand it if you know some French. Regardless it never ceases to make me chuckle.

There once were two cats - one was named 'one two three' and the other was named 'un deux trois'...

One day, the two cats came across a wide river. On the other side, there seem to be an endless amount of cat food. So, both of the cats wanted to swim across.

One two three cat made it across, but un deux trois quatre cinq.

3 cats go fishing...

3 cats, named un, deux, and trois, go fishing together. They head out for the sea in their fishing boat but they never return. What happened to the 3 cats? Well un, deux, trois cat sank.

A French guy... showing me his yachts.

French: "This is Un. This is Deux. This is Trois. This is Quatre. This is Six."

Me: "What about the 5th?"

French: "Cinq."

Two cats have a swimming race aross the English Channel

One cat is English, the other cat is French.

The English cat is called "One two three", the French cat is called "Un deux trois".

Which cat wins?

The English cat, because the Un deux trois cat sank.

The French and the British decided to have two cats swim a race across the English Channel...

They named the French cat "un deux trois cat" and the British, "one two three cat."

Which cat made it across first?

The British cat, because everyone knows that un deux trois cat cinq.

What do you call it when three French cats get into a boat only meant for two?

Une deux trois quatre cinq!

If Kim Jong Un named his son Kim Jong

Then his sons full name would be Kim Jong Deux

An English cat named One Two Three and a French cat named Un Deux Trois raced each other across a lake. Who won?

One Two Three, because Un Deux Trois cat sank.

A Frenchman was showing of his yachts to a tourist

Frenchman: "This one is called Un, this one Deux, this one Trois, Quatre, Six, Se--"

Tourist: "Hold on, why is there no number 5?"

Frenchman: "It Cinq"

What will the next Kim Jong Un be called?

Kim Jong Deux

Two cats tried to cross the river. One cat was named 'One Two Three', the other cat was named 'Un Deux Trois'. Which cat made it across?

'One Two Three' because 'Un Deux Trois' Quatre Cinq .

It's a pronunciation thing.

One Two Three Cat and Un Deux Trois Cat

There was once two cats: The English cat and The french Cat. The English cat was called One Two Three Cat, and the French was Un Deux Trois cat.

One day, they were walking through the neighbors gardens, when they came across a pool.

One Two Three Cat challenged Un Deux Trois cat to a race. Whoever could swim across the pool the quickest would win.

Who won?

One Two Three Cat, because Un Deux Trois Cat sank.

I had 3 French cats. The three are named un, and deux who could swim,

but, my trois cat sank.

2 cats are at the English Channel.

An English cat and the French Cat decide they want to cross the channel. The English cat psyches himself up, says One... Two... Three jumps in the water and swims across.

The French cat decides to imitate the English cat. Un... Deux... Trois... Cat sank.

There are two cats named One Two Three and Un Deux Trois

The two cats come to a river, only one survives the crossing. Which one survived?
One Two Three because the Un Deux Trois quatre cinq.

An englishman, frenchmen, and spaniard were racing their cats on a paper boat in the water

They each name their cat the same in each language. The Englishman names his cat "One Two Three". The Frenchman names his "Un deux Trois". The Spaniard names his "Uno dos tres". The race begins, and Uno dos tres wins, with one two three at second place. The Frenchman's cat is nowhere to be found. After searching, the Frenchman comes to a conclusion. He goes to the other men, and says, "The Un deux trois cat sank"

A wealthy Frenchman was showing me his yachts...

This is un, this is deux, this is trois, this is quatre, this is six...

What happened to 5? I asked


"Un, deux, trois, quatre", radioed the French ship...

...before it cinq.

"Eins, zwei, drei", radioed the German ship vierlessly, but then silence.

"Uno, dos", radioed the Spanish ship, and then disappeared without a tres.

"One," radioed the British ship before it went two.

"Oh," radioed the American sub. "I guess we won"

Two cats are having a swimming race

One is called 'one two three'. The other 'un deux trois'. Which cat won?

'one two three' won because 'un deux trois' cat sank.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the deux bois jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working deux jour piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes