Deux Jokes
56 deux jokes and hilarious deux puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about deux that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Deux Short Jokes
Short deux jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The deux humour may include short croissant jokes also.
- I hear North Korea is coming out with some new cloning technology... I can't wait to meet Kim Jong-deux.
- Rabinowitz: Whatcha reading? Rabinowitz: Whatcha reading?
Topper: Great Expectations.
Rabinowitz: Is it any good?
Topper: Its not all I hoped for.
Hot Shots Part Deux.
Best joke in the movie. - A French guy showed me his yachts. french guy: This is Un. This is Deux. This is t**.... This is Quatre. This is Six.
Me: Where's the 5th one?
French guy: Cinq. - A wealthy Frenchman was showing me his yacht... This is un, this is deux, this is t**..., this is quatre, this is six...
What happened to 5? I asked
Cinq - an English cat, called one, two, three, and a French cat called un, deux, t**... had a race across the English channel. which cat won? The English cat, because the Un, Deux, t**... cat sank.
- 2 cats are racing across the English Channel, an English cat named "123" and a French cat named "Un deux t**...." Which cat won the race?
A: The English cat. Un deux t**... cat sank. - Two cats cross a river... first cats name is un deux t**.... The second cats name is one two three. Which cat made it across? The second cat because un deux t**... cat sank.
- A French guy... ...is showing me his yachts.
French: "This is Un. This is Deux. This is t**.... This is Quatre. This is Six."
Me: "What about the 5th?"
French: "Cinq." - An English cat named One Two Three and a French cat named Un Deux t**... raced each other across a lake. Who won? One Two Three, because Un Deux t**... cat sank.
- Did you hear what happened to the four French cats who got in a boat meant for three? Un, deux, t**..., quatre, cinq.
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Deux One Liners
Which deux one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with deux? I can suggest the ones about nuke and .
- Who will be Kim Jong-Un's successor? Kim Jong-Deux
- If Kim Jong Un named his son Kim Jong Then his sons full name would be Kim Jong Deux
- What do you call the son of Kim jong-un? Kim jong-deux
- What will the next Kim Jong Un be called? Kim Jong Deux
- TIL Kim Jong Un has a brother. Folks just call him Kim Jong Deux.
- Who will take over after Kim-Jong-Un? Kim-Jong-Deux
- Kim Jong Un has become so fat We now refer to him as Kim Jong Deux.
- What will Kim Jong-Un name his child? Kim Jong-Deux.
- Who is Kim Jong Un's wife? Kim Jong Deux
- Un deux t**... quatre cinq six sept ACHOO! Sorry, I have a wheat allergy.
- Three cats went swimming in the Seine.. Un deux t**... quatre cinq
Heartwarming Deux Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about deux you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make deux pranks.
a little french humour
There once was a cat named une deux t**...
One day une deux t**... ran away from home, he found himself at a cross roads and decided that he wanted to see the other side of the river. He got onto the bridge and then a few seconds later. . . . the bridge collapsed!
So une deux t**... quatre cinq
Un Deux t**...
A French cat called Un Deux t**... attempted to swim the English Channel last weekend but sadly didn't make it and drowned. It was all over the news the next day; "Un Duex t**... Cat Sank"
Cat Race
So, England and France have a friendly contest to see which country is superior. They do this by having a cat race, in which the French cat, 'Un Duex t**..., and English cat 'One Two Three' will race across the channel.
The race starts and One Two Three cat speeds across the water, easily winning.
Unfortunately, Un Deux t**... cat sank.
Two cats are swimming across a river
One is called "One Two Three" the other is called "Un Deux t**...." Which cat survives?
"One Two Three"
because un deux t**... cat sank
Disclaimer; not original, just saw it online and thought you'd all appreciate
There are 2 cats. One is called "One Two Three" and the other is called "Un Deux t**...", which is the best at swimming?
"One Two Three" obviously.
Because "Un Deux t**..." cat sank
Two cats are swimming across a river
One's name is "one two three", and the other's name is "Un deux t**...".
One two three made it across but Un deux t**... cat sank
Two cats crossing a river
Two cats are swimming across a river.
Only one of them made it.
One cat was named one, two, three and the other cat was named un, deux, t**....
Which one made it across the english or the french cat?
The english cat of course, un, deux, t**... cat sank.
*basic knowledge of french required, if you don't understand the joke.
Swimming Cats
There are 2 cats, an English cat and a French cat, in a contest to swim the English Channel. The English cat is called the one two three cat, and the French cat is called the un deux t**... cat. who won?
The English cat. The un deux t**... quatre cinq.
Three cats are competing in a race.
There's an American cat named "One Two Three," a German cat named "Ein Zwei Drei," and a French cat named "Un Deux t**...." The cats all swim across a lake. The American cat finishes first, the German cat finishes second, but the French cat is nowhere to be found.
Why?
Because the un deux t**... quatre cinq.
2 Cats on the Titanic
So there were 2 cats on the Titanic. The first was called "One two three" and the other was "Un deux t**...".
"One two three" cat was rescued.
But "Un deux t**..." cat sank.
'One two three' cat and 'Un deux t**...' cat decided to have a boat race. Who won?
'One two three' cat, because 'Un deux t**...' cat sank.
British & French cats swim across the channel
A British cat called "one two three" swims across the English Channel. At the same time, a French cat called "un deux t**...", swims from the opposite direction. Which cat makes it? "one two three" because un deux t**... Cat Sank.
Three cats are crossing a river.
One of them is called "One Two Three"
The second is called " Un deux t**..."
The third is called "Ein zwei"
What is the order of them crossing?
So One Two Three gets to the other side first because the Un Deux t**... cat sank.
But the Ein Zwei cat is still drei because it has a vier of the water.
Not my own joke, just added the extra cat.
An English cat, a Spanish cat, and a French cat are in a swimming race
The English cat's name is One two three. The Spanish cat's name is Uno dos tres. The French cat's name is Un deux t**....
The English cat came in first, the Spanish cat came in second, but the French cat was nowhere to be found.
The Un deux t**... quatre cinq
2 cats have a swim race - one is English, the other French...
Each cat is named 'One, two, three' in its own language. Which cat won?
The English cat, because the un deux t**... cat sank.
There were three cats swimming across a river
Their names were un cat, deux cat, and t**... cat. Only un cat and deux cat made it across. Why? Because t**... quatre cinq.
(You probably don't get it if you're not English-French bilingual)
There were once three cats on a boat, named une, deux and t**...
The boat crashed and une deux t**... cats sank.
There's two cats, and both have to swim across a lake.
The first cats name is One, two, three, while the second cats name is Un, deux, t**.... Which cat makes it to the other side of the lake?
One, two, three makes it across because Un, deux t**..., quatre, cinq.
This is by far one of the worst jokes I've ever heard and you can only understand it if you know some French. Regardless it never ceases to make me chuckle.
There once were two cats - one was named 'one two three' and the other was named 'un deux t**...'...
One day, the two cats came across a wide river. On the other side, there seem to be an endless amount of cat food. So, both of the cats wanted to swim across.
One two three cat made it across, but un deux t**... quatre cinq.
3 cats go fishing...
3 cats, named un, deux, and t**..., go fishing together. They head out for the sea in their fishing boat but they never return. What happened to the 3 cats? Well un, deux, t**... cat sank.
Two cats have a swimming race aross the English Channel
One cat is English, the other cat is French.
The English cat is called "One two three", the French cat is called "Un deux t**...".
Which cat wins?
The English cat, because the Un deux t**... cat sank.
The French and the British decided to have two cats swim a race across the English Channel...
They named the French cat "un deux t**... cat" and the British, "one two three cat."
Which cat made it across first?
The British cat, because everyone knows that un deux t**... cat cinq.
What do you call it when three French cats get into a boat only meant for two?
Une deux t**... quatre cinq!
A Frenchman was showing of his yachts to a tourist
Frenchman: "This one is called Un, this one Deux, this one t**..., Quatre, Six, Se--"
Tourist: "Hold on, why is there no number 5?"
Frenchman: "It Cinq"
Two cats tried to cross the river. One cat was named 'One Two Three', the other cat was named 'Un Deux t**...'. Which cat made it across?
'One Two Three' because 'Un Deux t**...' Quatre Cinq .
It's a pronunciation thing.
I had 3 French cats. The three are named un, and deux who could swim,
but, my t**... cat sank.
2 cats are at the English Channel.
An English cat and the French Cat decide they want to cross the channel. The English cat psyches himself up, says One... Two... Three jumps in the water and swims across.
The French cat decides to imitate the English cat. Un... Deux... t**...... Cat sank.
There are two cats named One Two Three and Un Deux t**...
The two cats come to a river, only one survives the crossing. Which one survived?
One Two Three because the Un Deux t**... quatre cinq.
An englishman, frenchmen, and spaniard were racing their cats on a paper boat in the water
They each name their cat the same in each language. The Englishman names his cat "One Two Three". The Frenchman names his "Un deux t**...". The Spaniard names his "Uno dos tres". The race begins, and Uno dos tres wins, with one two three at second place. The Frenchman's cat is nowhere to be found. After searching, the Frenchman comes to a conclusion. He goes to the other men, and says, "The Un deux t**... cat sank"
"Un, deux, t**..., quatre", radioed the French ship...
...before it cinq.
"Eins, zwei, drei", radioed the German ship vierlessly, but then silence.
"Uno, dos", radioed the Spanish ship, and then disappeared without a tres.
"One," radioed the British ship before it went two.
"Oh," radioed the American sub. "I guess we won"
Two cats are having a swimming race
One is called 'one two three'. The other 'un deux t**...'. Which cat won?
'one two three' won because 'un deux t**...' cat sank.
A French cat and a British cat had a swimming race
So a French cat and a British cat, by the names of "One two three Cat" and "Un deux t**... Cat" had a swimming race across the channel to decide wether or not to call it the French channel or British channel. One two three Cat won. Why? Because Un deux t**... Cat sank.
