The Best 41 Detergent Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Detergent jokes. There are some detergent windex jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these detergent bleach puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Detergent Jokes and Puns
A little boy walks into his local corner store...
He goes in with his weekly allowance from his parents, usually to get a candy bar or something. But this time, to the cashier's surprise he brings up a bottle of laundry detergent. "What do you need this for, kid?" asks the cashier. The young boy explains how his dog is filthy and needs a bath. The cashier explains to him, that it is a terrible idea and may even kill the dog. The kid listens to the advice, but proceeds and buys it anyways. A week or so later, the kid goes into the store and brings a candy bar up to the counter. The cashier rings him up and asks "Hey, so is your dog alright?" to which the little boy replies "no, he died". The cashier tells him, "I told you it was a bad idea to clean him with laundry detergent!" and the little boy replies, "I don't think it was the detergent that did it, I think it was the rinse cycle."
I tried to sell my own detergent in South Africa....
But they didn't like it because it was a part Tide.
I lost my faith in this world...
Today they offered me to have sex with a sexy 21 years old girl as long as I would publicize the new detergent CL-UP! to all my Whatsapp list. Obviously I didn't do it since my moral is really strong, almost as strong as the new detergent CL-UP for only 6.99$!!!
How to tell if women is single
A woman walks into a store and purchases 1 small box of detergent, 1 bar of soap, 3 individual servings of yogurt and 2 oranges. The cashier says, You must be single. She responds, You can tell that by what I bought? The cashier says, No, you're ugly.
What do police and my laundry detergent not have in common?
One protects all colors.
Europe must have a detergent based economy..
..because it's tough on Greece.
A girl came to me today...
...and told me she will have sex with me if I advertise some random liquid detergent. Of course I said no, after all I'm a powerful man with high standards. As powerful as the new Ajax detergent, which offers a unique freshness, activated on air contact.
What kind of laundry detergent do handicapped people use?
Downy.
I apologize for this one, it's pretty mean. I really do sympathize with handicapped people.
What do you do when you see an epileptic throwing a fit in a bath tub?
You throw in some laundry and detergent.
What are the similarities between Cocaine and Gain detergent?
A:With both of them you go sniff sniff hooray!
What did the philosopher say to his coworker?
"Cleanup on the detergent aisle"
You can explore detergent cleaner reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean detergent ajax dad jokes. There are also detergent puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What do you do when an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw your dirty laundry in there with some detergent.
Yo momma is like cheap laundry detergent
Not as soft, doesn't smell as good, but gets way more loads
The Ku Klux Klan...
It's worth joining just to find out the name of the brilliant laundry detergent they use.
My roommate kept stealing my detergent, so I poured all of his spices into it
When it comes to getting revenge, thyme and Tide wait for no man.
What is the least favorite dish washing detergent among men with erectile dysfunction?
Finish.
Why did Martin Luther King Jr. boycott laundry detergent?
Because it told him to keep his whites and colours separate.
I like my women like I like my detergent.
Not downy.
Why don't upper class men wash their own clothes?
Because the washing powder is a deter-gent.
I was doing the laundry today and I started reading the side of the detergent and it said…
Tough on Grime.
Smashes Dirt.
Hard on Stains.
I thought, wow, that last one's a bit too much information…
A Bachelor is like a new detergent
it works fast and leaves no ring.
Snoop Dog has released a new brand of laundry detergent...
It's called Bleatch!
Life isn't all about laundry detergent...
It's what's in Tide that counts!
God grant me the FOOD to sustain my body,
the LAUNDRY DETERGENT to wash the stains from my clothes,
and the WISDOM to know the difference.
A major detergent manufacturer is to release a new range of fruit scents, including apple, tomato, orange, banana and mango
They're going to call it "Tide Pods - Natural Selection"
Why did the teen eat laundry detergent as a snack?
He just wanted something to Tide him over til dinner.
I was terrified when I accidentally used bleach instead of laundry detergent
What do you call a Tide Pod that prevents war?
A nuclear detergent
Instead of using the fear of prison to dissuade criminals, we should start making them eat Tide Pods.
That would be a real crime detergent.
I was so hungry the other day that I ate some washing detergent.
It didn't fill me up but it did Tide me over until dinner.
What do a special ed student and laundry detergent have in common?
They're both a little downy.
I once killed someone by making him swallow some detergent.
Enemy neutralised.
I was buying some laundry detergent the other day...
While I was paying, the cashier slapped me hard.
"What was that for!?" I exclaimed.
She told me "No pain, No Gain"
I was offered sex by a 22-year old woman in exchange that I'd advertise some detergent powder for her
Of course I said no because of my strong will power. Which is just as strong as Vanish. The super strong detergent powder now 20% off and available in scented vanilla or lemon.
Walked into a dry cleaners the other day and I was amazed.
The chap behind the counter had fluorescent blue gel like hands. To my further amazement, he was using them as detergent on the clothes.
I said, excuse me sir, may I ask you to hold my bag whilst I take a photo of your appendages?! I feel like the internet would be amazed at this
He said I can't sorry, my hands are tide
Only total detergents can laundry sauce "degenerates."
Cleanse the detergent degenerates with laundry sauce!
I started a new job
I started a new job ready to teach dealers black jack and Texas hold'em, but all i saw was diapers and detergent. I guess i went to the wrong Procter and Gamble.
Have you heard about the next book in the trilogy Divergent?
I heard its called Detergent, a dishsoapian novel.
What does a woman wash with if she wants to put off male suitors?
Deter-gent.
I needed to do the laundry, but then I realized I was out of detergent,
so I went to write a shopping list and realized how unorganized the junk drawer was, and started checking pens for ink. When I went to toss all the junk, I saw that the trash was full but before I took it out I wanted to get rid of old food in the fridge. That's when I realized a juice jug had leaked so I needed to clean it up but when I went to grab a rag, I saw that the pantry closet was a nightmare so I started organizing it.
And that's how I ended up on the floor looking at my old photo albums from 1990s and not doing laundry.
I thought it was the new detergent my wife started using that's shrinking all my clothes.
As always my wife is right. It was the new pizza place across the street.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the detergent dishwasher jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working detergent cleanser piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.