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Detector Jokes

74 detector jokes and hilarious detector puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about detector that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh out loud at the funniest detector jokes. From the classic metal detector and smoke detector to the newer lie detector and dizzy clutch jokes, you'll find a joke and a KitKat to make your day.

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Popular Detector Short Jokes

Short detector jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The detector humour may include short receiver jokes also.

  1. My carbon monoxide detector won't stop beeping. It's giving me a headache, and dizziness, and nausea.
  2. Why is Metallica the safest band to listen to in an airport? Because they haven't set off a metal detector since 1989.
  3. I had to remove the battery from my carbon monoxide detector. The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick.
  4. Today I cooked something for my family and they all said it was terrible. Jokes on them, the smoke detector thought it was fire.
  5. I had to take the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector. All the beeping was giving me a headache and making me sleepy.
  6. I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector today The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.
  7. 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse... I really should have invested in one of those carbon monoxide detectors.
  8. had to throw out my carbon monoxide detector tonight. All that beeping was giving me a headache and making me dizzy.
  9. I took my metal detector to the beach today expecting to find antiques of great value. Beach better have my money
  10. I unplugged my carbon monoxide detector from the wall today All that beeping was giving me headaches and making me feel nauseous

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Detector One Liners

Which detector one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with detector? I can suggest the ones about collector and detective.

  1. Chuck Norris once took a lie detector test The machine confessed everything
  2. My carbon monoxide detector keeps beeping It's really giving me a headache
  3. they gave lie detectors the wrong name. Should have called then facts machines
  4. Hey girl are you a smoke detector? Because I want to smash you.
  5. Boss asked me to buy counterfeit detector pens... I said I'll just get the real ones.
  6. "Dave, have you ever seen a lie detector?" "Seen it? I'm married to one!"
  7. What's the hardest part of making a midnight snack? The motion detectors.
  8. My irony detector is defective. It detects everything except irony.
  9. I think my carbon monoxide detector is malfuctioning, but Pineapple laundry dictionary.
  10. The carbon monoxide detector is really annoying. But hey, at least the kids are quiet.
  11. Why is my metal detector going off? Someone's taking a shower and I am in Flint
  12. A man with no nose applies to be a professional flatulence detector.
  13. My strange f**... is smoke detectors When they go off it gets hot in here.

Lie Detector Jokes

Here is a list of funny lie detector jokes and even better lie detector puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The police asked me if I would take a lie detector... I said yes and now I've been charged with conspiracy to commit theft.
  • They installed a lie detector in the White House Nobody can work any more because of all the beeping

Smoke Detector Jokes

Here is a list of funny smoke detector jokes and even better smoke detector puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner So I took the batteries out of the smoke detector.
  • My wife wanted peace and quiet whilst cooking.. .. so I took the batteries out of the smoke detector.
  • I don't need to check my smoke detectors every month because my wife cooks more often than that
  • What's the different between a wife and a smoke detector? One, you can turn off without even trying. The other, you spend all day waving a dish cloth at.
  • Not to worry. I was only testing the smoke detectors. On a totally unrelated subject. Supper is ready.
  • My cooking skills are so good My cooking skills are so good, the smoke detectors cheer me on.
Detector joke, My cooking skills are so good

Metal Detector Jokes

Here is a list of funny metal detector jokes and even better metal detector puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • When people use metal detectors, they're treasure hunters… but when _I_ do it, I'm a thief and I need to leave the war memorial.
    Double standards, man. I swear
  • The first time out with my metal detector I found a beautiful wedding ring!! But the bride was still wearing it, so the police came and now they won't give it back.
  • I was detained at airport security, because the metal detector caught my braces... I guess you could say I was armed to the teeth.
  • Golden Retriever. ...for sale. Has not yet retrieved any gold. May be a faulty model. Should of just bought a metal detector.
  • Did you hear about the Irish guy with a metal detector? He dug 25 meters down where he discovered he was wearing steel toe cap boots
  • When the metal detector goes off at the airport, it is just verifying Chuck Norris walked through.
  • Why did the t**... listen to Metallica on his way to the airport? Because they haven't set off a metal detector since 1992!
Detector joke, Why did the t**... listen to Metallica on his way to the airport?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about detector can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of detector puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Unearthly Funniest Detector Jokes to Tickle Your Sides

What funny jokes about detector you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean monitor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make detector prank.

I hate going through airport security...

For some reason I'm always stopped at the metal detector, even if i'm carrying NOTHING! So as you can imagine, on my latest trip, when I successfully got past the metal detector I was so pleased that I whispered "YES" to myself. As you can imagine, that didn't go down too well.

A team of particle physicists ran an experiment for the entire year,

and the detector reported exactly fifty two events which they were looking for. They published a research paper called "Weekly interacting particles".

Why Won't Michigan Governor Rick Snyder Take Any Flint Tap Water With Him Overseas In Order To Stick To His Promise That He'd Drink It For A Full Month...?

Because he can't get it through the airport metal detectors.

A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps you if you lie.

Dad: Son, where were you at school hours?
Son: At school.
The robot slaps the son
Son: Okay I was watching KungFu Panda!
The robot slaps his son again.
Son: Okay I was watching violent movies!
Dad: What?! When I was your age I never watched those kinds of movies!
The robot slaps the dad.
Mom: Haha, after all, he is your son.
The robot slaps the mom...

I took the battery out of my carbon monoxide detector.

It was annoying me with that infernal beeping noise.

I had to take the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector

The constant beeping gave me a headache and made me feel sick.

Lie detector

Matt is talking to his friend Paul in the bar and asks him have you ever seen one of those lie detector machines on t.v? They can tell when you're telling the truth or not
Paul exclaims Seen one? I'm married to one!

A dad buys a lie detector machine and waits for his son to come home

When the son comes home:
Dad - So you were at school right?
Son - yeah
Lie Detector - BEEP
Son - Okay, okay I was at the cinema with my friends
Lie Detector - BEEP
Son - ....I was having a few beers with my friends
Dad - What??? When I was your age I NEVER touched alcohol
Lie Detector - BEEP
Mom - Hahahaha! Well honey, he IS your son
Lie Detector - BEEP

I got rid of my carbon monoxide detector last night

The constant beeping was making me feel sick and dizzy.

A lie detector robot that slaps you if you lie...

A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps you if you lie.
Dad: Son, where were you at school hours?
Son: At school. The robot slaps the son.
Son: Okay I was watching KungFu Panda! The robot slaps his son again.
Son: Okay I was watching violent movies!
Dad: What?! When I was your age I never watched those kinds of movies! The robot slaps the dad.
Mom: Haha, after all, he is your son. The robot slaps the mom...

Father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody tells a lie.

The son comes home in the afternoon. Father asks him, So, you were at school today, right? Son: Yeah. Detector: Beep. Son: OK, OK, I was in a cinema. Detector: Beep. Son: Alright, I went for a beer with my friends. Father: What?! At your age, I wouldn't touch alcohol! Detector: Beep. Mother laughs: Ha ha ha, well, he really is your son! Detector: Beep.

I've finally had it with my carbon monoxide detectors.

All this beeping has been giving me such a bad headache. I'm going to take the batteries out right away.

An overweight criminal takes a lie detector test to prove his innocence.

This is the cops' last chance to prove his guilt.
They hook him up to the detector and tell him, "First we will ask you an obvious question and you must lie. If the machine registers your lie we will ask you about the crime and you will go to jail. If it does not you are free to leave."
"I understand." He says.
"Everyone in this room is fit except you. Do you think you are the lightest?" They ask.
He says, "Sir, I am closer to the lie test than any of you."

A dad buys a lie detector robot and it slaps anyone who lies

The dad asks his son, where were you today ? And the son says, at school and the robot slaps him. Then the son says ok, ok, ok,... I was watching Kung Fu Panda . Then the robot slaps him again. So the sons says fine...I was hanging out with a girl. And the dad goes what? You're too young to hang out with girls I never hung out with girls at your age and the robot slaps him. Then the mom starts laughing and says well he is your son after all and the robot slaps her.

A Blonde in a Fire

One day a blonde woman is in her house and she smells smoke then her fire detector goes off. She quick runs to the phone to dial 911. She explains to the dispatcher her situation. The dispatcher asked her how do we get there? The blonde replies in a big red truck, duh.

A dad buys a lie detector

He tells his son. This will beep whenever you lie. Where where you? The son says "I was at school" the lie detector beeps. The son says "ok, I was at the sinema with my friends" the lie detector beeps. He says OK I WAS AT MY FRIENDS HOUSE!!! we where drinking and doing drugs" the lie detector does not beep. The dad says "COME ON!!! WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I NEVER DID ANYTHING LIKE THAT!!! I was at the park with my friends" the lie detector beeps. The mom says " he really is your son" the lie detector beeps once more

A father bought a lie detector which hit people when they lied.

His young son said, I have no naughty books!
The machine quickly hit him.
His father saw that and scolded his son, When I was your age, I didn't have such books!
The machine quickly hit him.
The mother saw what happened and laughed and said, Oh, you are truly father and son!
The machine quickly hit her.

idk what to put the title as

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie.........
The man decided to try it out at dinner.
Dad: Son, where were you during school hours?
Son: At school
*The robot slaps the son*
Son: OK! I was at my friend's house watching a DVD
Dad: Which one?
Son: Kung Fu Panda
*The robot slaps the son again.*
Son: Ok! It was an e**... movie.
Dad: What!? When I was your age I didn't even know what an e**... movie was.
*The robot slaps the dad.*
Mom: HAHAHAHA. He is your son after all!
*The robot slaps the mom.*

Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station.

The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is?"

Little Johnny's hand shot up and the firefighter called on him.

Little Johnny replied: "That's how Mommy knows supper is ready!"

Somali Pirates Can't Find Hidden Treasure Buried in 2007

A bunch of Somali pirates lost their hidden treasure. They last saw their hidden treasure in 2007. They tried everything, bloodhounds, radar, metal detectors, sonar. But they couldn't find their treasure.
One day, one of the pirates had a suggestion.
"Captain, we should break R Kelly out of prison".
The Captain said "This is the dumbest idea I've ever heard, but go ahead. why?"
"Captain, if anybody can find 15 year old b**..., it's this guy!".

A traditional Thanksgiving joke

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How did Thanksgiving go at your place?" the bartender asks. "Oh, it went fine. Had a lot of family over and the wife prepared the meal. I helped out, though. She got a little stressed out and told me she needed some peace and quiet in the kitchen so she could finish cooking," the guy says. "So I removed all the batteries from the smoke detectors."

Detector joke, Why did the t**... listen to Metallica on his way to the airport?

jokes about detector

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these detector jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.