It's giving me a headache, and dizziness, and nausea.
The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick.
All the beeping was giving me a headache and making me sleepy.
The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.
The machine confessed everythingο»Ώ
Dad: Son, where were you at school hours?
Son: At school.
The robot slaps the son
Son: Okay I was watching KungFu Panda!
The robot slaps his son again.
Son: Okay I was watching violent movies!
Dad: What?! When I was your age I never watched those kinds of movies!
The robot slaps the dad.
Mom: Haha, after all, he is your son.
The robot slaps the mom...ο»Ώ
...The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick.
Beach better have my money
All that beeping was giving me headaches and making me feel nauseous
For some reason I'm always stopped at the metal detector, even if i'm carrying NOTHING! So as you can imagine, on my latest trip, when I successfully got past the metal detector I was so pleased that I whispered "YES" to myself. As you can imagine, that didn't go down too well.
When the son comes home:
Dad - So you were at school right?
Son - yeah
Lie Detector - BEEP
Son - Okay, okay I was at the cinema with my friends
Lie Detector - BEEP
Son - ....I was having a few beers with my friends
Dad - What??? When I was your age I NEVER touched alcohol
Lie Detector - BEEP
Mom - Hahahaha! Well honey, he IS your son
Lie Detector - BEEP
It's really giving me a headache
The machine is able to analyse speech patterns and detect lies, beeping whenever it detects a lie. To demonstrate it,he plays it a video of bill clinton, 'I did not have sexual relations with that woman', * beep*.
He takes it to the presidential debates, Hillary says " I am probably the best qualified woman for the job." *beep".
Trump seizes the moment and says " See, she's lying! Crooked Hillary, just like I said." Everyone waits, but there's no beep. Anderson Cooper turns to Trump and says, "Mr. Trump, your response",
Trump says " I think..." *beep*
The constant beeping gave me a headache and made me feel sick.
The son comes home in the afternoon. Father asks him, So, you were at school today, right? Son: Yeah. Detector: Beep. Son: OK, OK, I was in a cinema. Detector: Beep. Son: Alright, I went for a beer with my friends. Father: What?! At your age, I wouldn't touch alcohol! Detector: Beep. Mother laughs: Ha ha ha, well, he really is your son! Detector: Beep.
He goes and sits at the bar before turning to the bar man.
'I only got a pound on me mate, anything I can get with that?'
'No,' says the bar man. 'But you can attempt a challenge for free drinks for the rest of the night.'
The poor man was up for it.
'Ok, so I'm gonna hook you up to this lie detector and you gotta try and make it get the wrong answer.' The bar man instructed.
So the poor man got hooked up to the lie detector.
'Off you go,' said the bar man.
'This lie detector will tell you that this is a lie.'
Nobody survived the following explosion.
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, "I did some schoolwork."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story."
The robot slaps the son again.
Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching Stormy Daniels movies."
Dad says," What? At your age I didn't even know what dirty movies were."
The robot slaps the father!
Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."
The robot slaps the mother.
Robot for sale.
The constant beeping was making me feel sick and dizzy.
A cop pulled me over the other day for speeding.
After giving me the ticket, he teases me a bit about my out of state plate and the fact that I'm driving a car that's in my Dad's name.
He points to my dash and asks, "Is that a radar detector I see?"
Me: I don't know.
Cop: Is that a radar detector I see?
Me: I don't know it's my Dad's car. It's just always been there, but it does let me know every time I pass a Krispy Kreme.
He smirked, said, "Good one. Now slow down."
"Son sit down... we have to talk, i have a lie detector here"
"Did you go to school today, son?"
"uh, yes" the son replied...
-BEEP- -BEEP-
"uh, no i watched a movie" he said quickly.
"right, what movie?" Asked the Dad
"Just some comedy"
-Beep- -Beep-
"Okay, it was, you know, a different movie, you know what i am talking about"
"No, I don't know" Said the dad.
-Beep- -Beep-
"Like you never watched those things when you were my age dad"
"No, i never watched it" The dad said blushing.
-Beep- -Beep-
"Well well well, like father like son, isn't it" Said the mother laughing.
-Beep- -Beep-
I said yes and now I've been charged with conspiracy to commit theft.
He told his family: "This robot will slap anyone that tells a lie."
During dinner,
Dad: "How was school, son?"
Son: "It was nice, we had to write an essay."
The robot slapped the son.
Son: "Ok, I skipped school to go to a friend's house."
The robot slapped the son again.
Son: "Fine! I went to a whorehouse!"
The robot did not do anything, but the dad was shocked.
Dad: "How could you? When I was your age I didn't even know what was a whorehouse!"
The robot slapped the dad.
The mum, who was angry at first, couldn't help but laugh and said, "Well, he is your son after all!"
Then the robot slapped the mum.
and the detector reported exactly fifty two events which they were looking for. They published a research paper called "Weekly interacting particles".
But the bride was still wearing it, so the police came and now they won't give it back.
Because I want to smash you.
Every time the detector hears a lie, it goes "BEEP!".
Johnny comes home from school and they ask him: "What grade did you get today?"
He says: "An A!"
BEEP!
Then he says: "OK, I got a C."
BEEP!
"Fine, I got an F."
His mom says: "Shame on you! When I went to school, I had straight As!"
BEEP!
Then the dad says: "When I went to school..."
BEEP!
Surprised, Johnny asks him: "Dad, you didn't go to school?!"
Dad says: "Don't yell at me like that! I'm your father!"
BEEP!
A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps you if you lie.
Dad: Son, where were you at school hours?
Son: At school. The robot slaps the son.
Son: Okay I was watching KungFu Panda! The robot slaps his son again.
Son: Okay I was watching violent movies!
Dad: What?! When I was your age I never watched those kinds of movies! The robot slaps the dad.
Mom: Haha, after all, he is your son. The robot slaps the mom...
A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps you if you lie.
Dad: Son, where were you at school hours?
Son: At school. The robot slaps the son.
Son: Okay I was watching KungFu Panda! The robot slaps his son again.
Son: Okay I was watching violent movies!
Dad: What?! When I was your age I never watched those kinds of movies! The robot slaps the dad.
Mom: Haha, after all, he is your son. The robot slaps the mom...
Matt is talking to his friend Paul in the bar and asks him have you ever seen one of those lie detector machines on t.v? They can tell when you're telling the truth or not
Paul exclaims Seen one? I'm married to one!
"Seen it? I'm married to one!"
Mother: "Look, this device buzzes whenever it senses a lie"
Father: "Wow! Lets see! Hey son, what did you do today?"
Son: "Uhmm, I went to school."
*BUZZ*
Mother: "Ooh, you didn't go to class? Then what did you do?"
Son: "Alright, I watched a movie with a few friends"
Father: "Which movie?"
Son: "That new Star Wars movie"
*BUZZ*
Son (blushing): "Alright, we watched a -- well, a you-know-what movie...
Father: "Well well well son, this is very immature! At your age I didn't even know what that was!
*BUZZ*
Mother: "Haha, really a child of yours!"
*BUZZ*
It was annoying me with that infernal beeping noise.
Didn't want it waking the wife and kids.
One, you can turn off without even trying. The other, you spend all day waving a dish cloth at.
My dogs hate the sound of the smoke detector. They are absolutely terrified of it.
In fact, they are so afraid of it, that every time my wife turns on the oven, they go run and hide.
He dug 25 meters down where he discovered he was wearing steel toe cap boots
...for sale. Has not yet retrieved any gold. May be a faulty model. Should of just bought a metal detector.
It was beeping the whole week, and my roof told me to.
Nobody can work any more because of all the beeping
I guess you could say I was armed to the teeth.
I can't even breathe without it going off.
It detects everything except irony.
A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps you if you lie.
Dad: Son, where were you at school hours?
Son: At school. The robot slaps the son.
Son: Okay I was watching Star Wars! The robot slaps his son again.
Son: Fine, I was watching violent movies!
Dad: What?! When I was your age I never watched those kinds of movies! The robot slaps the dad.
Mom: Haha, after all, he is your son. The robot slaps the mom.
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