The Best 50 Detect Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Detect jokes. There are some detect sniff jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these detect discern puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Detect Jokes and Puns
Why did the detective lose his second job at the airport?
He kept cracking cases.
Why was the detective excited when he found a thimble sized crown?
He was looking for Finger Prince.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it.)
What did the detective say when he tripped over a pretzel left by the perp?
Well, that was an unexpected twist!
A Detective is in a room questioning a suspect
After a while, he comes out of the room and talks to the police sergeant there with him, "Well, I've asked him just about every question in the book. 'Where were you last night?', 'What were you doing?', 'Who were you with?', everything."
The sergeant asks, "Well have you gotten a confession out of him?"
The detective says, "Not exactly. He keeps saying 'Yes dear' and dozing off."
Why did the PI detective cross the road?
He needed to keep up with Jenny's U-turns.
Which detective investigates electrical crimes?
Sherlock Ohms
That's why his partner is called Wattson...
Who's the best detective in Mexico?
Sherlock-Holmes
2 detectives were looking over Juan's murdered, lifeless body..
when one detective says " it looks like he was killed by a golf gun". The other detective said "what's a golf gun?" The other says " I dunno, but it sure made a hole in Juan."
How does a detective stay cool in hot summer?
He works on a cold case.
Why did the detective wear a patch on his left eye?
It's his private eye.
How did the detective solve the case of the missing nun?
Through the process of cross-examination.
You can explore detect sensor reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean detect acronyms dad jokes. There are also detect puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I told my psychiatrist that I believe I have the power to detect Indian bread for miles around.
He said that's naan-sense.
The Detective
Who was the first electricity detective?
Sherlock Ohms
Where do detectives go to have a drink?
The Search Bar.
What did the detective say when he received a really long letter?
"I'll get to the bottom of this."
Turns out dogs can't detect cancer
Cats can...
They say dogs can detect cancer by scent..
Wondering if CAT scan too..
Dogs operating XRays cannot detect brain tumours.
But CAT scan!
A detective in Paris is conversing with the hunchback of Notre Dame about a murder committed the previous night
Detective: Well, who do you think did it?
The Hunchback of Notre Dame: I have a hunch.
A detective has finally solved a high profile dog murder.
He successfully followed a lead.
What did the detective say on the Titanic?
"I'm gonna get to the bottom of this"
What did the detective see when he responded to the string of crimes at local liquor stores?
A bunch of cold cases.
A detective walks into a party...
and asks the partygoers,
"Do you guys have any Nacho Cheese?"
The partygoers respond,
"No dip, Sherlock."
The detective said, "Something's fishy about this evidence..."
Turned out to be a red herring.
Detective: "Where were you on the night of the murder?"
Suspect: "At home, sir."
Detective: "That's where the murder happened idiot."
Why do they use AI (Captcha, etc.) to detect if you're a robot online?
It takes one to know one.
What would a skeptic say if you were to tell them that you had a supernatural ability to detect Indian bread?
Naansense!
What does the detective get on adding up the clues one by one?
The way to make odds even.
What did the detective say while interrogating a clock accused of murder?
"LISTEN PUNK! We know what makes you tick, and we have ways to make you tock!"
What does a detective wear on a flight?
Plainclothes
Detectives finally arrest two men suspected of robbing a 3M plant.
But they couldn't find any evidence that would stick
A detective walked over to his car
As he made the approach, he saw a smattering of crow feces on it and said,
*"There's been a murder..."*
What did the detective in the Arctic say to the suspect?
"Where were you on the night of September to March?"
A detective is investigating a crime scene in Mexico.
A cop fills him in on what happened.
Apparently the killer is riddled with dementia and considers the train his lover, so he killed the train operator out of jealousy
Wow says the detective, looking up at the train in question.
That's some locomotive
A detective was working on a case ...
..... Because he couldn't afford a desk.
A detective is trying to solve a murder mystery
A lady was killed by being stabbed 17 times. The only evidence was a knife, fully made of concrete. The detective sent the knife to a lab, hoping for any DNA evidence, but unfortunately, the results came back inconclusive.
The detective was puzzled. He was sure it was concrete evidence.
A detective went for a circumcision.
It was a tip off.
Detective Work
A urologist is sitting down to lunch when he gets a call from a NYPD detective. Puzzled, he picks up the phone and listens as the detective details the fact patterns of a homicide. After about 5 minutes the detective finishes, re-summarizes the facts, and asks the urologist: "Who do you think committed the murder?"
The urologist says "Listen, fella, I think you have the wrong number. I'm a doctor."
The detective says "Right! So, in urinalysis, who committed the crime?
My wife has a sinus condition that suppresses her ability to detect odors
But she gets offended when I tell people that she doesn't smell good.
how did the detective know that quasimodo was the killer?
he had a hunch.
A detective story
11:45 - arrived at crime scene
11:45 - Examined body. Signs of struggle
11:45 - Found murder weapon in drain
11:45 - Realised watch was broken
"Detective, we found the body eviscerated under an altar made of antlers."
Detective: "Dear, God..."
Officer: "Yeah, probably."
Start using "/s" today!
How else are you going to remind others about their inability to detect sarcasm? /s
What did the Detective say to the Puppeteer when he was investigating a murder?
*did you have a hand in this?*
Where do Detectives park their vehicles?
Undercover.
Why can't you lie to a cardiologist?
Because they can detect a fib.
(My neurologist friend told me that one. I told him that was tachy)
That detective must be from Florida
Because he's an investi-gator
What is similar to windows but can instantly detect the cause of most common computer-problems?
A mirror
What did the detective name his dog?
Snoopy
After replacing their old C++ code with Google's new programming language, Tinder can now automatically detect its users' age
This is because it's a Carbon dating app.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the detect smell jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working detect distinguish piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.