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Destruction Jokes

83 destruction jokes and hilarious destruction puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about destruction that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover how destruction jokes are a reflection of the Persian epic tradition and how they can be seen in the works of contemporary artists like Kojima. Explore the evolution of self-destructive humour and how it shapes our society.

Funniest Destruction Short Jokes

Short destruction jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The destruction humour may include short destroyed jokes also.

  1. What happens to a sailboat in a category 5 hurricane? MAST DESTRUCTION!!!
    I'll ~~see~~ sea myself out...
  2. Last night my friend trashed a Chinese restaurant... Told him I was horrified by his wonton destruction
  3. I like my women like I like my Uranium-235 Self-destructive, toxic, and decaying on the inside
  4. How did President Bush know that iraq had weapons of mass destruction? Well he kept the receipts.
  5. I was chopping up some leftover dumplings from my soup at a Chinese restaurant when suddenly it hit me... I was engaging in acts of wonton destruction.
  6. What happened when the cow jumped over the moon? Udder destruction.
    I'm sorry, I'll see myself out.
  7. How do we know Iran doesn't have weapons of mass destruction? You can't destroy mass, silly.
  8. When lightnings struck the church, the insurance company refused to pay Reason: Act of God, in other words, deliberate destruction by owner.
  9. What international disaster occurred after someone dropped the Christmas dinner? The downfall of Turkey, the overthrow of Greece and the destruction of China.
  10. I purchased a humble potato gun the other day. Turned out it was a weapon of mashed destruction.

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Destruction One Liners

Which destruction one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with destruction? I can suggest the ones about wreckage and ruining.

  1. what happened to the cow when it jumped over the barbed wire fence? Udder destruction!
  2. Did you hear about the narcissistic, self-destructive, cannibal? He was full of himself.
  3. What do you call a grenade dropped in a church? A weapon of mass destruction
  4. What do you call it when someone blows up a Chinese restaurant? Wonton destruction.
  5. I just tore a dumpling in half It was wonton destruction
  6. What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence ? Utter destruction...
  7. What' the biggest threat to the Vatican? Weapons of Mass destruction
  8. *Destruction: 100* Wife: I'm pregnant
    Me: Hey pregnant, I'm dad
    Wife: No you're not
  9. What three words are most destructive to a man's ego? Is it in?
  10. What's the key to destruction? Anarchy.
  11. What's angry, fluffy and destructive and gathers inside stringed instruments? Violint
  12. What do you call the destruction of large acres of lands? A massacre.
  13. Did u hear about the cow that jumped over a barbed wire fence? It was udder destruction
  14. What happens when a Cow tries to jump over a fence? Udder destruction
  15. New name for weight loss pills Pills of mass destruction!

Self Destruction Jokes

Here is a list of funny self destruction jokes and even better self destruction puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Imagine if our brains could self destruct. It would be mind blowing...
  • If ISIS were a Pokemon, which would they be? Voltorb; they're always using self destruct
  • How do you get a Samsung owner to throw their phone out the window? End your text with "this message will self destruct in 10 seconds"
  • I'm guessing that the Banksy painting was from Lars Ulrich's collection. Seeing as how it was Hardwired to Self-Destruct.
  • Temples are free to enter but still empty. Pubs charge to enter, but are full. People ignore inner peace &choose to pay for self destruction
  • What part of the body do Muslims always cover until it's used? The self destruction button
  • How do you kill an Indian? You press the red self-destruct button on their forehead.
  • Britain: I just did the most self-destructive act a country could do 'Murica: Hold my fries.
  • My doctor said I am self destructive That explains why I voted for Hillary Clinton
  • How do you make a Hindu self destruct? Press the red button
Destruction joke, How do you make a Hindu self destruct?

Cheeky Destruction Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about destruction you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean explosion jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make destruction pranks.

LAPD Sent to Train Iraqi Police, Find Weapons of Mass Destruction

Within 2 months of being in Iraq to help train Iraqi Police recruits the LAPD sent the following message up to Army command:
It's over. We have weapons of mass destruction, need guidance on who we are supposed to find them on.
Edit* changed were to are

The Galactic Empire, after the destruction of the Death Star, has taken to bowling during the interim.

The Empire Strikes Back, they call it.

Did you hear about the guy who burnt down the Chinese restaurant?

He was charged with won ton destruction
^^*cue* ^^*groan*

So one of my cows decided to try they old jump over a barb wire fence trick...

it was utter destruction.

Why was the driver fired from the destruction derby?

He was accused of wreckless driving.

What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence?

Udder Destruction.
I swear this joke is funnier in person.
Try it, trust me.
p**... dropper for sure.

Did you hear about the guy who smashed up a Chinese restaurant?

They put him in jail for wonton destruction.

Mike Tyson fires a nuke at his maths teacher.

It was a weapon of math destruction.
I'm so sorry.

What does IKEA furniture do when it's stolen?

Activates its shelf destruct sequence.
I'll see myself out...

Scientists recently developed a weapon that directly targets the Higgs Boson

It's classified as a weapon of mass destruction.

The TSA just announced they're banning erasers on flights.

They're capable of math destruction.

Darth Vader...

Of all the things that Darth Vader lost when the Death Star blew up, it was the destruction of his George Michael box set that affected him most deeply.
He finds his lack of Faith disturbing.

How many men escaped the destruction of s**...?

A Lot.

A man was arrested for dumping Chinese food on his neighbor's computer

He was charged with wonton destruction of property

United Kingdom: Brexit is the s**... most self destructive act a country could take.

USA : lol, hold my beer

How did the musician destroy the church?

By using instruments of mass-destruction

I can never understand why Xenophobia is considered ignorant...

Given their immense potential for death and destruction, I personally find the fear of Xenomorphs to be perfectly sensible.

A cow jumped over a barbed fence

It was udder-destruction

My grandfather was a World War 2 Vet

In a single day during the Battle of Britain he was responsible for the destruction of 8 German aircraft killing 32 German airmen.
Easily the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe had ever had.

Why is s**... i**...?

destruction of government property.

A man was arrested after running a red light and hitting a Chinese food delivery car.

He is charged with careless driving and wonton destruction.

The Russians developed a very powerful weapon of mass destruction.

Or as they call him, Agent Orange .

Did you hear about the Chinese restaurant that burned down?

Scenes of wonton destruction.

Reporter: "Why did you attack Iraq in the 90s?"

Reporter: "Why did you attack Iraq in the 90s?"
USA: "Because we suspected that they had Weapons of Mass Destruction"
Reporter: "Why did you attack Syria now?"
USA: "Because we suspect they have Weapons of Mass Destruction"
Reporter: "Why didn't you attack North Korea then?"
USA: "Are you out of your mind? They really have Weapons of Mass Destruction"

My dad's puns are so bad, they could kill anyone who hears them.

He calls them his weapuns of mass destruction

What's the difference between War and Marriage?

One is a destructive conflict, where men can lose their children, their home, and nearly everything they possess.

The other is War.

A group of 100 people dressed up as Vikings, promoting the new exhibition at the Smithsonian, was seen parading in front of the White House today.

Famously uncivilised, destructive and rapacious, with an almost insatiable appetite for rough s**... and heavy drinking, the US Senators nonetheless came out to watch the parade.

Today a large shipment of Chinese dumplings was thrown to the ground and smashed into crumbs by vandals who are unhappy with a change in the savory treat's recipe.

Local officials are said to be appalled by the wonton destruction.

I hear they are calling the riots yesterday 'The Capitol Blizzard'

Makes Sense....
They caused lots of destruction,
Was full of snowflakes,
And a whole lot of White.

Whats the difference between going to war with China and eating at a Chinese restaurant?

Wanton destruction vs Wonton consumption

Why is s**... i**... in China?

Destruction of government property

Factory arson

A factory producing frozen Chinese dumplings is reported to have suffered the worst case of arson in recent history, presumed to be the work of a disgruntled worker.
The police chief said he had never seen a case of such wonton destruction.

Why is s**... a crime?

Destruction of government property...

Destruction joke, Why is s**... a crime?

jokes about destruction