Destroyed Jokes

107 destroyed jokes and hilarious destroyed puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about destroyed that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article offers a heart-warming exploration of destroyed jokes in the life of the average husband, discussing how they can cope with the wreckage and come out unhurt. Read on to learn more about the hilarity and crises of a destroyed joke.

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Funniest Destroyed Short Jokes

Short destroyed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The destroyed humour may include short ruined jokes also.

  1. My bullies broke my MP3-Player at school. Luckily, my parents bought me an MP4 for my birthday, but these idiots destroyed it again. Tomorrow, I'll bring an MP5.
  2. Fire is destroying a world famous landmark in Paris right now. And there's notre dame thing they can do about it.
  3. President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.
  4. Elon Musk has come up with a fool proof plan of destroying Apple because they refuse to advertise on Twitter. He plan to buy it.
  5. Women love a man brimming with confidence. Because without that, what else is there to destroy?
  6. The last time a group of New Englanders destroyed Atlanta this badly Sherman marched to the sea
  7. One spelling mistake can destroy your marriage, a husband sent a text to his wife reading I'm having a wonderful time, I wish you was her.
  8. My grandpa destroyed 38 planes in WW2, killed 58 Germans. Literally the worst mechanic of the Luftwaffe
  9. Fidel Castro said he wouldn't die until America was destroyed. Well, looks like he died 17 days after.
  10. On meeting Donald Trump, Kim Jon Un says I will destroy America... Trump replies, No way, that's my job. I won't have another asian stealing an American job.

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Destroyed One Liners

Which destroyed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with destroyed? I can suggest the ones about burned and destruction.

  1. Why did Ben Shapiro go on a diet? To destroy the lbs.
  2. I would never get on a plane with Ben Shapiro He would try to destroy the left wing.
  3. What will the ISIS be called when we eventually destroy them? WASWAS.
  4. I am sick of this Chinese-made virus destroying society! Tik-Tok has got to go!
  5. If ISIS is destroyed... ... Will they be known as WASWAS?
  6. Yo Momma so fat (Avengers Edition) Yo Momma so fat it took Thanos 2 Snaps to destroy her.
  7. Did you hear Elijah Wood joined the WWE? I heard he destroyed the ring.
  8. The castle in Tallinn was destroyed yesterday It was a huge loss
  9. What's black and loves to destroy Baltimore? The Pittsburgh Steelers
  10. Why did Ben Shapiro destroy a kfc restaurant? 'Cause they served him left wings.
  11. I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying.
  12. How fast was Thor's hammer destroyed in Ragnarok? Hela fast
  13. Rioters are destroying Baltimore. Don't worry though, all the bookstores are safe.
  14. Women love a man brimming with confidence. Because, without that, what's to destroy?
  15. When ISIS is finally destroyed... Historians should start referring to it as "WASWAS".

Destroyed Husband Jokes

Here is a list of funny destroyed husband jokes and even better destroyed husband puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Should a white wife sue both white husband and Asian mistress for destroying their lives if exposed on Ashley Madison?
Destroyed joke, Should a white wife sue both white husband and Asian mistress for destroying their lives if exposed

Silly Destroyed Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about destroyed you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean devastated jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make destroyed pranks.

Ben Shapiro dies in a plane c**.... Wanna know why it crashes?


Do you remember when you were a kid and whenever you cried, your parents would say, I'll give you a reason to cry!?"

I always thought they were going to hit me, not that they were going to destroy the housing market 20 years later.

Why do Japanese people always look serious in photos?

Last time they saw a flash, it destroyed their country.

So an Olympian walks into a bar...

and is promptly disqualified from her final attempt at the high jump and has all her hopes and dreams of winning gold for her country destroyed.

Did you hear about the shoe factory that was destroyed?

They lost 500 souls!

Scientist released new findings proving that there are now only seven planets in our solar system

after I destroyed Uranus.

How Do You Start a Flood?

An engineer and an attorney were fishing in the Caribbean.
The attorney said, I'm here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.
"That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood and my insurance company also paid for everything.
The puzzled attorney asked, How do you start a flood?

A U. S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans in a row boat rowing towards California...

The captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts, "Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"

One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and replies, "We are invading the United States of America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800s."
The entire crew of the destroyer doubled-over in laughter. When the captain was finally able to catch his breath, he gets back on the loud-hailer and asks, "Just the four of you?"

The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last four. The rest are already there!"

News flash: Vandals destroy street signs

They pulled out all the stops

Two women meet in heaven...

There's these two women meeting for the first time in heaven who's names are Carol and Lydia. Carol leans over and asks Lydia what the cause of her death was. Lydia says, "Well I froze to death. How did you die?" To which Carol replies "I died of a massive heart attack." Very concerned, Lydia asks "What caused the heart attack?" Carol starts then explaining on how she thought her husband was cheating on her. And how she had come home early to catch him in the act but, to her surprise, only found her husband sitting in the den reading a book. But convinced there was another women in the house, she frantically started destroying the house looking for the other women until she was so exhausted that her heart just stopped working. Amazed at the story, Lydia looks at Carol and says, "If you would have looked in the freezer, we'd both still be alive."

How does a woman destroy a mans pride with 4 words?

Is it in yet?
How does a man destroy a womans pride with 4 words?
I don't know.

Whats the worst thing you can tell a g**... the first date?

There are only going to be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus

A farmer in Nebraska just had his fence destroyed by a tornado, and he's asking for our help

He heard we have a lot of experts in re-posting

What did the scientist say to his hot assistant?

"There's only gonna be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus."

The Avengers are over rated.

The Baltimore rioters destroyed half a city without any superpowers at all.

Favourite pickup line...

Did you know there will be 7 planets tomorrow?
Because I am going to destroy Uranus tonight.

So Godzilla walks into a bar...

The entire building is destroyed. 23 people are missing and presumed dead.

North Korean submarine accidentally destroys another North Korean submarine

Woops, wrong sub

This should raise a dry smile, then...

The knight approached the king and said, "Sire, we have spent the past two weeks destroying and pillaging the towns of your enemies to the West."
"What?" said the king, concerned. "I don't have any enemies in the West!"
"Oh," said the knight. "Well, you do now..."

Well done Turkey on shooting down a Russian warplane.

Now proceed to level two where you have to destroy fifty Russian warplanes and fight off an invading ground force.

Why do christians burn fossil fuels?

They're trying to destroy the evidence.

My body is a temple.

What I mean by that is, it looks and feels like something the Romans destroyed 2,500 years ago.

A horse walks into a bar...

The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "My alcoholism is destroying my family."

Remember when we cried as kids and our parents said, "I'll give you something to cry about"

We thought they were going to hit us but instead they destroyed the housing market.

Why did Vader (Anakin) finally rebelled against the Emperor?

In Episode 3, he helped carry out Order 66 to kill all Jedi.
In Episode 4, he helped carry out Order 67 to destroy Alderaan.
In Episode 5, he helped carry out Order 68 to destroy rebel base on Hoth.
In Episode 6.... the Emperor was just too old and n**... for Vader to carry out Order 69.

What's the difference between a mad engineer and a mad scientist?

The mad engineer builds an efficient, well-desined death ray and destroys the world in one blow.
The mad scientist builds his death ray and divides the world into three randomised groups: an experimental group to be killed, a control group to be spared and a group that is told they are dead to account for the placebo effect.

BREAKING NEWS: Texas A&M Library burns to ground...

Both books were completely destroyed.
The worst part is, one of them wasn't even colored in yet.

Chuck Norris joke cause it's been a long time.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Don't commit s**...!

It's i**... to destroy government property.

My boyfriend asked me how many planets are in our solar system.

And I said. "Eight"
And he said, "Nope, only 7, after I destroy Uranus tonight."

My friend is obsessed with Navy destroyers

He warships them

Why Does NASA Have No Competition?

Because they destroyed their last challenger.

Did you hear the news that Trump's personal library burnt down?

Unfortunately, both books were permanently destroyed.
Do you know the what the real tragedy is?
He didn't even finish colouring the second one.

If you hear a supernatural voice in your head telling you to destroy statues of the Ten Commandments, you might be mentally ill.

But if the voice tells you to create them instead, you might be Moses.

What's the Mummy's plan to destroy Superman?

He's going to lure him into the crypt tonight.

I'll be so demoralised if North Korea decides to invade South Korea...

It'd be Seoul destroying

life is like a box of chocolates....

it is destroyed remarkably fast by an emotional woman.

For you guitarists out there...

After going through a brutal divorce, a woman decides to get revenge. She goes to get ex's house, and proceeds to destroy each and every one of his guitars. When she gets to court, the judge asks her;
"First offender?"
She replies; "No. First a Gibson, then a Fender."

How can you get aliens to destroy their own kind?

split them into groups and teach them different religions.

The rainforest cafe is getting to realistic

I was just sitting there enjoying my chicken tenders when a bulldozer destroyed 30% of the cafe

Did you hear about the archeologist who accidentally destroyed his dig site?

His career is in ruins.

My father was an Allied war hero. He single-handedly destroyed 4 Messerschmitts, 9 Heinkel b**..., and 11 Stuka dive b**....

He was the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

I hate these double standards

If you burn a body at a crematorium, you are doing a good job , but do it at home and you're destroying evidence .

The government reveals their new logo today....

The government reveals their new logo today, on a black background sit a magnificent image of a c**....
I guess it makes sense, seeings as how a c**... allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of d**..., and gives you a sense of security while being s**....

Darth Vader built an entire Galactic Empire...

Wearing protective gear in sanitary environment.
But it was all destroyed by a whiny brat without a mask who refused to stay home with his aunt and uncle.

A Gnome.

A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy.
I just love mischief!
And what, may I ask, creature are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says,
"I guess I'm a gnome."

What did the b**... find after his home was destroyed by a flood?

Not a dam thing.

U.S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans rowing towards Texas. The Captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts:

Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"

One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, "g**..., we are invading the United States of
America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800's."

The entire crew on the destroyer doubles over in laughter.

When the Captain finally catches his breath, he gets back on the loud-hailer and asks, "Just the four of you?"

The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last 4. The other 20 million are already there.

My great grandfather once destroyed 18 WW2 German aircrafts in one day.

He was the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

My grandfather destroyed over 30 German planes in WW2...

He was easily the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

Dave was getting robbed in the desert

he gave the robber his money and asked the robber shoot a few bullets in his hat to make it believable to his wife that he was robbed.
he then asked," shoot a few bullets in the coat while you're at it, I want to look like I fought you and not look like a coward"
after the robber shot the coat, he said, "shoot a few holes-"
"please, no more holes, I'm out of bullets"
"that's what I wanted to hear. now give me back the wallet and some more money for the hat and coat you destroyed before I beat you black and blue"

A horse walks into a bar.

He orders a shot of whiskey and a beer.
The bartender says Why the long face?
The horse replies My alcoholism is destroying my family.

My grandfather destroyed almost a hundred aircraft in World War Two!

He must have been the worst mechanic in the Luftwaffe.

Revenge on a four-year-old child

A while ago, I invited my friend to my house for dinner. He brought along his four year old child, who made a mess of my house, and destroyed two of my expensive plates. I was so angry, but after all, I couldn't vent my anger on a young child. I had no choice but to smile and keep my composure.
I led the child over to my piano, where I allowed him to randomly hit a few keys. I remarked "Wow, your son has a good musical sense, he's quite talented!"
I heard the child hasn't had any free time ever since.

Villager 1: Flee for your lives! The mad scientist in the castle turned a tiny lizard into a monster that's destroying everything in its path!

Villager 2: Meh, why bother. We're doomed from the gecko.

(Politics) Why would it be unsafe to board a plane with Ben Shapiro?

He'd destroy the Left Wing.

The male bees were unhappy with their lot ...

So they decided to stop fertilizing the Queen. They had the usual demands: larger honey rations, shorter hours, etc. The worker bees tried to negotiate, but it was too late, and the hive never recovered. Thus it became the first beehive destroyed in a drone strike.

Three old men are lounging in chairs on the beach in the French Riviera.

One of them says, "I had a business but it burned to the ground. With the insurance money I was able to retire here."
Another said, "Well that's a coincidence. I had a business that had a gas leak and blew up and the insurance money allowed me to retire here."
The third guy said, "You're not gonna believe this but I had a business and it was destroyed by a flood and I was able to retire here with the insurance settlement."
After a pause, the first guy asked the third guy, "So who do you call to arrange a flood?"

Why does the admiral of the navy put a destroyer everywhere his girlfriend hikes?

He warships the ground she walks on.

Have you heard about the film they're making, where Dallas gets destroyed by space junk?

Debris Does Dallas.

Destroyed joke, Have you heard about the film they're making, where Dallas gets destroyed by space junk?

jokes about destroyed