Following is our collection of destruction humor and kill one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Destroy puns for adults, dirty titan jokes or clean hawkeye gags for kids.
There is an abundance of downfall jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 86 funniest jokes on destroy. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any rebuild witze you can hear about destroy.
I always thought they were going to hit me, not that they were going to destroy the housing market 20 years later.
Because without that, what else is there to destroy?
WASWAS.
Trump replies, No way, that's my job. I won't have another asian stealing an American job.
He's going to lure him into the crypt tonight.
Yo Momma so fat it took Thanos 2 Snaps to destroy her.
The Pittsburgh Steelers
... and upon ending his work he realised his backpack was missing. Checking the area he could notice a lump in the carpet, the size of his backpack.
He couldn't belive how unlucky he was and he decided to take a desperate measure. He was not going to destroy the recently placed carpet and inside his backpack there wasn't anything really valuable. So he starts hammering that lump to the ground. After a few minutes the backpack inside the carpet was flat and unnoticeable.
Later that afternoon the housewife gets home and is happy with the placing of the carpet. She goes to the kitchen to write him a check for the job well done and returns to him:
"Here, the check and your backpack that you left in the kitchen. By the way, have you seen my cat"?
And I said. "Eight"
And he said, "Nope, only 7, after I destroy Uranus tonight."
'Cause they served him left wings.
Is it in yet?
How does a man destroy a womans pride with 4 words?
I don't know.
It's illegal to destroy government property.
After going through a brutal divorce, a woman decides to get revenge. She goes to get ex's house, and proceeds to destroy each and every one of his guitars. When she gets to court, the judge asks her;
"First offender?"
She replies; "No. First a Gibson, then a Fender."
But if the voice tells you to create them instead, you might be Moses.
Because, without that, what's to destroy?
They're trying to destroy the evidence.
In Episode 3, he helped carry out Order 66 to kill all Jedi.
In Episode 4, he helped carry out Order 67 to destroy Alderaan.
In Episode 5, he helped carry out Order 68 to destroy rebel base on Hoth.
In Episode 6.... the Emperor was just too old and nasty for Vader to carry out Order 69.
split them into groups and teach them different religions.
So, the story goes that there was this town that had a big red lever in the middle of the town square. The lever, if pulled, would destroy the world. Because of this the lever was heavily guarded at all times. Here is where we introduce a man in that town. His name was Nate. Nate grew up around that lever his whole life. He had wondered his whole life if it actually worked or if it was just some elaborate hoax. So one day, Nate decided to try to pull the lever. Nate ran for the lever and was quickly shot down. I mean, it was better Nate than lever. *ba dum tiss*
They pulled out all the stops
Now proceed to level two where you have to destroy fifty Russian warplanes and fight off an invading ground force.
Peer pressure
You can't destroy mass, silly.
As they were carrying on with their daily business, they came across a river with a beaver building a dam.
The young deer asked his mother, Why is the beaver building a dam?
His mother responded, Not for long. Watch and learn, son.
The mother then proceeded to destroy and wreak havoc on the dam the beaver had built, destroying it in the process. All the branches and sticks were gone with the wind.
Frank Lee was distraught and started to panic. You didn't have to do that, mother!
The mother calmly responded, Frank Lee, my deer, I don't give a dam.
... and now he can destroy half the NFL with one snap
Did you know there will be 7 planets tomorrow?
Because I am going to destroy Uranus tonight.
"There's only gonna be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus."
She needed them to get in quick and destroy all the evidence.
Nietzsche
A lawyer had a wife and 12 children and needed to move as his rental agreement was coming to an end for the home where he lived but was having difficulty in finding a new home.
When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they knew that the children would destroy the home.
He could not say that he had no children, he could not lie, after all, lawyers cannot and do not lie.
So, he had an idea: he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 children. He took the remaining one with him to see homes with the Real Estate Agent. He liked one of the homes and the agent asked, "How many children do you have?
He answered : "12 children.
The agent asked "Where are the others?'
The lawyer answered, with a sad look, "They are in the cemetery with their mother.
And that's the way he was able to rent a home for his family without lying.
The UK edged ahead with Brexit, but the US just played their trump card.
Depends on how old Ling is, if Ling were an adult she would destroy Anakin, but Anakin would kill a young Ling.
It was a battery-powered robot named Mister Edward that took the world by storm. Mister Edward toys were even connected to the internet. Eventually a virus started to spread which caused all the Mister Edward toys to attempt to destroy all of humanity. They eventually started succeeding, and the population slowly dropped and dropped.
Three years later, a small group of survivors sat in their camp in the dead of night. Two guys were on lookout when they heard something scuttering in the bushes. The first one whispered, "What is it?" The second said, "I'm not sure." The first one replied, "I guess it's a Mr. E."
Because *I'm going* to *destroy* Uranus
They're both movies about going to a mountain to destroy someone's ring.
There are 27 different pegs for gender and only four squares: Debt, Rent, Destroy an Industry, and early Death from lack of healthcare.
Because im about to destroy Uranus.
Nonsense! No gay man would ever dream of destroying fabric.
e.g. "Sarah, I'm gay"
But toucan
Why the Albanian submarines resurface every 2 minutes? So the rowers can breath.
How do you destroy an Albanian tank? You shot the guy that pushes it.
Why did the Albanians lost the war? The archer was sick.
The Albanians managed to releases on market their fist computer, it's keyboard has 2 buttons: if you pres the first one nothing happens and the second one cancels the command
Aliens: "what's changed in the last 3000 years?"
Humans: "well, we were worshipping cats, drinking beer, and smoking weed... and then we made it to developing technology that can destroy this entire planet, and pretty soon we'll have unlimited energy from that tech."
Aliens: "Impressive. Good thing you stopped worshipping cats, drinking beer, and smoking weed."
Humans:
He tried to destroy the ring.
7, after I destroy Uranus.
There are only going to be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus
Even though I'm unemployed and recently got evicted, I could still destroy Stephen Hawking in a 100m dash.
There were two brothers that happened to be boll weavels. One brother desired more than just to destroy crops and learned to play guitar. He got so good, he became a successful country music star.
His brother just stayed home and slept. You could say he was the lesser of two weavels.
This make me a little conCERNed.
Eddit. The situation is accelerating if you know what I mean.
At first they make you wet, then the destroy your life and then take your house and car.
All credits go to Larry Wilmore. ;)
It takes hours to try to prove your point, but only one counterexample to destroy everything.
Much like my marriage.
By using instruments of mass-destruction
There were once two brothers that happened to be boll weavels. They lived in Nashville, TN and both loved country music. One brother desired more than just to destroy crops and listen to the radio, so he learned to play guitar. He got so good, he became a successful country music star. Fame and fortune were no longer a stranger to him.
His brother went to school, where he met his wife, and became a CPA and found a modest job at a local tax firm. The locals often say he is the lesser of two weavels.
A mad scientist would never destroy the world.
...Half the world maybe. That would be enough to have a control group.
And yet women are allowed to just roam around.
You put some paper on it
Him: "No, because it's too much like doing laundry."
You still get to see the US destroy Japan, but there are fewer commercials!
It was an act of won ton destruction.
Rubble scum.
You destroy all of the vodka then they'll be to sober to shoot straight.
'If I told you Voldemort hid a Horcrux in your sphincter would you let me destroy it? ;)'
Still single for now...
As they were carrying on with their daily business, they came across a river with a beaver building a dam.
The young deer asked his mother, Why is the beaver building a dam?
His mother responded, Not for long. Watch and learn, son.
The mother then proceeded to destroy and wreak havoc on the dam the beaver had built, destroying it in the process. All the branches and sticks were gone with the wind.
Frank Lee was distraught and started to panic. You didn't have to do that, mother!
The mother calmly responded, Frank Lee, my deer, I don't give a dam.
Because white people destroy everything.
Because you're breaking wind.
That there's only gonna be seven planets after I destroy Uranus.
we should just send all the metal drummers there.
I would destroy my work too if I made a whole existence and still be a virgin
Guy: How many planets are there?
Girl: 8
Guy: Wrong, 7 after I destroy uranus
Getting more WIFO will destroy your LIFO.
You have my Word.
after I destroy Uranus
An admiral at the head of his fleet is scanning the horizon for the enemy ships he's looking to destroy. Seeing them crest the horizon, he tells his first mate, "Bring me my red shirt."
"Why, Sir?"
"If I am wounded in the fight, and the men see me bleeding, they may lose heart. If I wear my red shirt into battle, that cannot happen. Now, bring me my red shirt!"
"Yes, sir!"
The Admiral continues to scan the horizon, and sees there are in fact ten times as many enemy ships as his own fleet has. The first mate returns with the red shirt. The Admiral turns to him and says,
"Bring me my brown pants."
As a part of my vow of non-violins.
Search and Destroy.
You blow our two towers and then we destroy your pentagon
You ask "what rights do men have that women don't?"
After tonight there are going to be 7 planets because I am going to destroy Uranus.
Around $1.1 million. $100k to buy it, and $1 million to destroy it after ISIL captures it.
He would destroy the left wing.
The Oceania of time link most go to the future and the past and gather all the incarnations of link (skyward sword toon link and twilight princess) to destroy Ganon once and for all
It's a weapon of MASS destruction.
Your desire to live too.
Vi Kings
Superheroes do not get in trouble when they destroy New York.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.